Review of Mediterranean Cruise and Tour -- Celebrity Galaxy (July, 2006)

[krennen]

You continue to entertain us. Are you that funny in your classes? If so your students are very lucky!! I hope to sneak a pic in the Sistine Chapel too if everyone else is doing it--you know the old lemming mentality. I can see if they don't want flashes and we always respect that but it seems such a shame not to be able to take pics of such beautiful places.

[Monterey Girl]

Loved reading the latest installment. You had me laughing out loud at some parts.Maybe you can produce your own wheelie suitcase commercial. Good thing you were wearing a belt !

Seems kids are all a like where ever you go. Don't you wonder how the parents of those bored ungrateful kids can afford to haul them all over the world ? We were pretty much limited to camping and chaperoning away games while paying for braces, scout camp, sports camp, swim lessons, piano lessons, etc. The "etc" was a combination of several years worth of college but we are the proud parents of TWO college granulates. I figure world travel is on their own dime!!!

BTW, I have forwarded your trip diary to some friends who will be travelling to Rome via the train from Venice this Nov. I'm sure there is tons of info in there they can use. We are going to go against MY nature and try to just wander in Venice after taking the tours of the Doges' Palace and the Basilica. I am a compulsive over planner and I LIKE it that way .

I am curious, did you and Ashley buy any souviners while you were gone ?

Meanwhile, I am waiting for MORE....MG :p

[Monterey Girl]

Tell Ashley I fried one of those converter thingies trying to charge my camera batteries while on an old Russian cold war era cruise ship on the Yangtzee in China. Swear to God ! Mine started smoking and melted into a lovely kind of sculpture before I smelled it and unplugged it. I was wondering how to yell "FIRE" in Chinese !! A friend of mine nearly caught her hair on fire in Paris using one with her curling iron. I bet it says something in teeny tiny print about doing things to scare the Hell out of you on the box !!! :eek: :eek: MG

[LrdNorman]

I'm glad you all are enjoying reading this as I am writing it. I think I'm funny in class, but the kids roll their eyes sometimes and maybe chuckle once in a while. Maybe I need to get some more jokes... :-)

 

I will try to get some pictures of Venice, Portofino, and Rome up tonight.

 

I see that there are over 1200 views on this thing, but I'm wondering who else is reading it. Are there only a handful of people? If other people are reading it, where are you all from?

 

A few questions: 1) Any ideas on a title? 2) Should I even continue? 3) Are there some parts that are a little slow / confusing / boring?

 

The next chapter deals with getting on the boat (finally!). I'm also thinking about posting on the Celebrity section. Maybe someone could use some information from there.

 

Thank you again for reading it. It has become my therapy!

[lisiamc]

Oh please do continue!! I'm dying to read about the rest of your trip. You have a real talent - I feel like I'm on your trip too!

 

Lisa:)

[krennen]

Dear LrdNorman,

Do continue to write--I will be most disappointed if you stopped now. As I said you traveled to several of the places we will this summer and I am going to print out some of the information to use for my trip. As for a title how about Mediterranean Musings--the good, bad and funny! I think your trip report is one of the best I have ever read!

[Nonna and Papa]

I too, am reading your accounting. As to where we're from.. I'm not from Pittsburgh....my husband just makes me live here!!!!:rolleyes:

 

Reading your diary makes me fondly remember our 2 month land trip through Europe several years ago, with some of the same experiences (!!), while on my husband's sabbatical.

 

I wrote my own (really) long accounting also, for our own pleasure, and every once in awhile pull it out to remember our "trip of a lifetime". No doubt you'll enjoy doing that as well, in the years to come. We'll be leaving on a Celebrity cruise this fall from Rome, so we'll have another chance to enjoy this wonderful city.

 

Do consider posting your trip on the Celebrity website. I expect it will be well received there too. Thanks so much,

 

Mary

[TinaLee]

I see that there are over 1200 views on this thing, but I'm wondering who else is reading it. Are there only a handful of people? If other people are reading it, where are you all from?

 

There are definitely MANY reading! We live in Orlando, FL (okay, really Altamonte Springs, since you'll know where that is) and are planning a Med cruise next year to celebrate our youngest's graduation from Rollins. Your descriptions of your wife (priceless) remind me of myself when we travel!

 

Please DO keep going - I'm looking forward to reading all the coming installments!

 

TinaLee

[P&C]

I look every day!!!! the last time I had such good reading was when my niece was on her European trip and wrote her BLOG.

I am reading it all the way down here in Auckland New Zealand.

Cheers and thanks, Pat :D

[Coolcruise02]

I'm reading and loving it! I am doing research for a future Med cruise.

Can I ask, how much do they charge to stay in a convent? :)

 

Thanks

[LrdNorman]

Il Rosario charged us €82 ($100) to stay there.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to post photos. Will try to get Venice up soon.

 

Thank you all again!

 

Kevin

[mpb43]

Norman,

I have also been enjoying your posts. I'm a newbie, planning my first cruise to the Med in July. I'm from Virginia outside D.C. My husband and I have been to Europe several times, and I smile as a read your posts because you remind me of us about 10-15 years ago. We also were in Italy last summer for three weeks during the World Cup, but we left just one week before the finals! I'm one on those who now travels to Europe with the kids. We love Italy too much not to share it with them (fortunately, they don't whine :), and my 11 year old became an total Italy soccer fanatic last summer.

Keep writing!

[nbevins]

You should publish this I am so enjoying reliving europe.Looking foreward to next installment.

nancy clifton park new york

[travelingmcmahans]

Don't stop now. I can't wait to hear about the ship experience! And seriously, you need a blog where you can be the star of your own show, not just another post out of millions.

[LrdNorman]

Thank you all for the compliments. Writing this is harder than I thought.

 

Here is Chapter Seven. I am also going to post it on the Celebrity Cruises Section so that others may get some helpful tips.

 

Enjoy!

 

Chapter Seven

The next morning, after stretching to shake off the stiffness created by the box spring mattress that had no box springs, we packed our stuff, eager to get on the cruise ship. After a week of hauling our stuff from city to city like gypsies, we were excited to be able to call one place “Home” for awhile, have good, hot meals and not have to worry about curfews, pickpockets, or plugging in hairdryers and curling irons. Life is good on a cruise ship.

We booked Angel Tours for an excursion of the Roman Forum and Colosseum. Again, Angel Tours is phenomenal at half the price of other tour groups. They are professional, knowledgeable and extremely personable. I cannot rave enough about them.

We headed down toward the Colosseum since it was only a few blocks from Il Rosario. Upon arriving at the Colosseum about 45 minutes early, we stumbled upon a very pleasant find, a subway. Little did we know that this place would be busier than usual.

Since we had some time to kill, we walked down the Via Dei Fori Imperiali toward the Roman Forum ruins; we again see tons of people headed past us toward what seems to be a commotion. We stop and take some pictures of the Forum ruins and then continue on toward the commotion. Ashley’s too busy taking pictures to concern herself with the uprising. The further we got to the uproar, the louder the noise got.

“You go on ahead, Kevin and see what’s going on. I’m going to take some more pictures.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait for you?”

“Nah,” she said as she continued photographing a stray cat posing in the morning sun. Even the cats around here think they are royalty.

I walked down to where the commotion was and saw taxis as far as the eye could see parked and blocking off a major highway in front of the Piazza Venezia. The taxi drivers were chain smoking and talking casually to each other while the police officers were standing around watching them, chain smoking as well. It looked like they were filming a movie and nobody had any clue what was going on.

I saw a very rotund and beastly, yet affable gladiator (well, one dressed as a gladiator) and I approached him to ask him if he knew what was going on. If anyone knows what is going on in the city, it is the gladiator. Plus, he was the only one around who was looking like he was doing something.

“You like picture?” he asked and proceeded to reach to pull me in so that I was caught and couldn’t get away, much like the lions. He almost succeeded, but my cat-like reflexes dodged a grab-and-pay. Interestingly, he talked just like a gladiator. Maybe it was his missing teeth that inhibited his speech. His face looked more like a hockey player’s face, but his body was shaped like a man who lived through Caligula’s reign.

“Uh, no thanks. What is going on? Do you know?” I asked in very slow English since I didn’t know anything in Italian and gave up trying.

“Si, da taxis is strike. You like picture?” He poses and reaches again.

“Maybe in a few minutes,” I dodge again. I feel like a prizefighter ducking and weaving Muhammad Ali. “Do you know how long they will be on strike?”

“Dis third time in week. Could be week, could be hour. You like picture?”

I headed off before he could catch me to report back to Ashley who was headed my way. I reported what Caligula Jr. had told me. We walked back to where Mr. Gladiator was standing.

“You like picture?” he asked and reached out for Ashley. I stepped in and he quickly grabbed onto me with a tight grip, handed me his plastic sword and then threw his hands up as if he was surrendering. Since I have been trained to take a hint (it comes with being a husband), I pose with him as if I am going to stab him. Ashley takes enough pictures to her satisfaction and I begin to walk toward her. His speech miraculously changes.

“You know I work for tips. €5.00 please,” and as if by magic, I thought I heard violins playing ominous sounding music and his tone changes from congenial to menacing. He could easily play a Mafia don with his deep voice that just got an octave lower. I suddenly felt like I was seven years old again and he was the school bully taking my lunch money

I paid him quickly and he changed characters again and smiled with most of his teeth toward Ashley. “You like picture?” he asked he and grabbed onto her, thrust the plastic sword in her hand and raised his hands in the “Touchdown” signal.

After taking our pictures and he taking our money, we headed back down to where the tour was meeting and met up with our tour guide and his surprise guest.

Henry again!

When he saw Ashley, his eyes lit up like the candles on Hugh Hefner’s birthday cake. He sauntered over toward her and I could tell she was just as shocked as he was. I secretly wondered if he would appear on the cruise ship. If so, I was going to have him carry our luggage.

The tour guide was a history major and he talked very fast. I had a hard time keeping up with him, but he seemed to be very excited to have someone taking notes of his lecture instead of the other way around.

Before we went on the trip, Ashley and I took a class at our church about the history of Christianity. The most fascinating thing about this particular tour was all of the information the tour guide made referenced what we learned in that class.

He took us through the Roman Forum first which was built around the time of Constantine. The tour guide told us background information on Constantine (he was a Christina at a time it was illegal to be Christian) and through the Arch of Titus, a celebratory archway which celebrated the victory over Jewish people in Jerusalem. The remaining wall from the destruction of all of the temples during this battle is the Wailing Wall. After the victory over the Jews, Titus carried a menorah during the parade to let the illiterate people of Rome know that they defeated the Jews. Sort of like an early version of CNN.

The tour guide showed us the Basilica Nova which was the prototype for Michelangelo’s dome over the Vatican. During our walks, the history major explained that the Roman Forum was claimed to be possessed in order to keep people from going to these “Pagan” temples, a tactic used by Roman leaders. What was also fascinating was the fact that the Roman Forum was below the modern street in front of it. Centuries of rocks and dirt compiled to make the current Rome over ten feet taller than Caesar’s Rome.

Another fascinating thing about this time period was the role that women played in government. Daughters of nobles could become vestal virgins whose sole job was to make sure that the flame in the Roman Forum was not burned out. If it did burn out, they would be burned alive. The benefits of being a vestal virgin was that they could overrule any emperor, judge or jury and they could free slaves because they were considered holy and pure. However, the only other “job” requirement was that they had to remain celibate for their entire life. If they did engage in sexual relations with anyone, they would be burned alive. Needless to say, not many women were enthralled with being vestal virgins. Usually, fathers who were nobles would bribe the High Priest in order to have his daughter become a vestal virgin.

This section is brought to those of you who enjoy Trivial Pursuit and other useless facts.

A few other facts that he told us was that the Romans were color-blind when it came to emperors – they had a black emperor, Lucius Pescennius Niger (Niger being the Latin word for “black”). Also, Rome employed professional pacers. Since 1000 paces = one mile, Romans had people literally walk all over Europe pacing out how far it was to the next town. And imagine doing all of that walking in those shoes that they wore.

He talked about the numerous theories surrounding Caesar’s death (suicide –which I don’t believe – and that Brutus was his son from an affair – which I don’t believe either), about how Mussolini had a road go right through the Roman Forum to parallel a victory parade that the Romans would do when the Axis would win WWII, and about the Rostri, a pulpit where anyone could stand and say anything they wanted without any regard to being punished.

Out of nowhere we heard a voice yell, “Ashley?” to which Ashley looked up instinctively and saw a lady named June with whom Ashley worked at the courthouse! It’s always crazy to see someone you know halfway around the world. It’s happened to me only once and that was in Chicago, not in Europe. What are the odds of seeing someone that you know who happens to be in the same city, at the same time and doing the same thing as you are at that very moment? I’m sure there are many people smarter than me who could do that.

We then headed over to the Colosseum and paid our tickets (the tour guide knew about an obscure ticket booth and an alternative entrance to the Colosseum). We didn’t need any headphones as our tour guide was very loud and our group was rather small.

He pontificated about many other facts such as the Colosseum was built in only ten years; it holds 50,000 people and can evacuate them in an emergency in under ten minutes; the vendors sold dead rats and snake heads (no doubt because popcorn and hot dogs weren’t invented yet); they had booking agents all throughout the alleyways, much like the dog tracks; Hadrian (of Hadrian’s Wall fame) had the city of Rome shut down for seven months straight so the Colosseum could host games and killings everyday; they would have real life naval battles complete with enormous ships and live animals inside the Colosseum; and, to top it off, they would reconstruct actual battles to show how the battles over foreign lands were won (since there was no CNN).

We finished off with the tour and quickly headed back to the convent so that we could catch the train to Citivecchia in order to board our cruise. Ashley, of course, couldn’t really enjoy the tour. She was too busy panicking.

“What are going to do? The taxis are on strike. Did the man say how long they would be on strike? What are going to do without a taxi? This is insane. Why would they strike? Why today? We’re going to miss the boat and then we’ll be out of all of that money. What are we going to do?”

While she stopped to catch her breath, I interjected as fast as I could, a solution. I’ve learned over the years that if Ashley panics, no one else can because she does enough worrying for an army. Although I was very worried as well, I had to remain calm. After all, it doesn’t do any good to have both of us frantic.

“I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we just use the subway that we saw before the tour? It’s not that far away and it goes to the train terminal.”

Evidently, she wasn’t done panicking yet. “How do you know it goes to the train terminal? Did you ask someone? It might not even go there. You always say something does, but you never know. Remember that taxi ride in England? It cost us a fortune. And how long does it take to get there? What time does it leave? Will it get there on time? Plus, it’s a long way there. The luggage is heavy and it’s hotter than Hell outside. I’m not carrying it all the way there. It’s just way too heavy.”

The only reason why she stopped panicking out loud was because we were back at the convent (thankfully). We went back in to retrieve our luggage with no real plan on what to do. I was fully intending to go with the subway because it was clearly the only plan we had. Just at that moment, our prayers were answered.

I didn’t recognize the answer at first, or God’s influence, but I am certainly glad He intervened. Ashley frantically ran outside to look for someone to flag down so that they could take us to the train station. Looking back, she probably would have lied down in the middle of the street to pull someone over. Either that, or if they didn’t pull over and stop, she wouldn’t have to worry about getting on the train anymore.

Just as she rushed outside, a sharply-dressed man in a black Mercedes with some sort of delivery package pulled up and proceeded to head into the convent, walking right past Ashley. In true Ashley fashion, she got an idea. I know this because she came right back into the convent and walked right up to the man in the tailored suit. I wished I could have seen her face when she got the idea. That would have been priceless.

Without even asking my opinion, she took matters into her own hands and put her one-day Italian into good use. Out of the corner where I was getting the bags, I saw her approach the man and ask if he could possibly take us to the train station in Italian. He paused a moment, and then proceeded to pull out his phone. Ashley, her eyes lit up like saucers, came over to me and told me her plan.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I have a brilliant plan,” she said feverishly. “I asked the man if he could take us to the train station and he said that he couldn’t but he is asking his buddy if he could come pick us up. I know he isn’t a criminal because he pulled up in a Mercedes outside.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I replied, but I had to admit – it was a very good plan and I was proud that Ashley took the bull by the horns. By the way, criminals don’t drive Mercedes? Isn’t this the land of the Mafia?

Mother Superior came around the corner where they served breakfast in the mornings and was yelling at one of the other nuns, supposedly about the sharp dressed man. There was Latin and Italian all over the place.

The man got off of his cell phone and walked up to Ashley. “My man can be here in ten minutes,” I heard him say in English and I was so relieved that I sank down in the chair behind me. I didn’t even know there was a chair there, but I’m glad there was.

“Grazi! Grazi!” Ashley and I kept telling him and he said “Ciao” and headed out the door before Mother Superior could yell at him for some reason.

Ashley and I smiled at each other with grins from ear to ear and I thanked her for saving the day. “You see, those Italian lessons did come in handy,” and she smiled back at me.

Another sharply dressed man in a Mercedes arrived and helped us put our luggage in his trunk and headed bounded off for the train station a little bit ahead of schedule. We paid him €25 (I would have paid him €200 at that moment) and in we went, hauling the luggage. I was never more glad to drag that luggage than I was right then. I didn’t care if it didn’t have a handle or not.

The first thing I needed to do was to secure our tickets to Citivecchia. I saw that the lines for the self-service ticket booth was a lot shorter than the regular ticket line, and surprisingly, was easier than I thought it would be.

The train was already there and so we rushed to the train, along with a few other families.

“Where are we seated?” Ashley asked.

“I have no idea, but let’s just get on. We can figure it out later.” Just then, the porter yelled, “All aboard!” We weren’t even at the train’s door yet. I wasn’t about to walk the length of the station to try and find our seat.

The gentleman in front of me was struggling just as much as I was. Not only did he have his luggage, but he had his entire family’s luggage, at least twenty-five bags labeled with Gucci, Gabana and Dolce, and other designers that we couldn’t afford and a wife who was already onboard screaming in her thick Brooklyn accent, “Hurry up, Henry! I don’t want to miss the buffet on the cruise! They got shrimp!”

We heard a “Last call for all aboard!” and I still wasn’t on the train yet. However, everyone else in the city of Rome was. I feared I would have to ride on the roof.

“Ashley, you go ahead. I’m just going to shove our stuff somewhere and I’ll adjust it during the ride.”

”Are you sure?”

“Yea,” I panted as I was out of breath from hauling everything but her camera and cosmetic bag. “I’m sure. You go ahead and find a seat upstairs and I’ll stay down here and protect our things. I’ll catch up with you when we get there. It shouldn’t be long.”

I threw our luggage on and got on just before the door slammed shut. I almost got caught in the door!

The train ride was smooth, despite the many looks I got from everyone else who was sitting down and staring at me like I was hovering around their luggage. Actually, I was hovering around their luggage. There was so much luggage that it blocked the entire door and lower level including the bathroom door, which was right in front of me. If anyone wanted to use the restroom, I certainly was not going to move the luggage. No way in Hell. Besides, they were comfortable to sit on, no matter whose luggage it was.

“Excuse me,” a man said to me from behind with an air of pompousness. You could definitely tell he was going on the cruise – the Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sandals with socks gave it away. I’ll bet he planned this outfit for months before the cruise. “I need to use the bathroom.”

I looked at him like “You’ve got to be kidding me” and he stood there for a second, looked down at the sea of bags, and then looked back up at me. I was tired, grumpy, hungry and stubborn as a mule. I did the only response I could think of to let him know that I was not going to move anything for him – I stared back at him.

“Did you hear me? Could you move your luggage? I need to use the bathroom,” he said as if he was going to beat me up if I didn’t move anything.

As tired as I was, I didn’t want to physically fight anyone (I don’t think I could have lifted my arms to punch anyone anyway) and I didn’t feel like explaining that all of those bags weren’t mine. So, I complied with his request and moved my black duffel bag which was under my feet in the back of the train. Even if my bags were in front of the bathroom, it still wouldn’t have helped him.

“I told you to move your bags. I have to go.”

“I did move my bag,” I replied to him. “These others aren’t mine. Sorry.” The man stormed off, obviously not used to dealing with someone who severely needed a relaxing cruise. I wanted to search for Ashley and see if she was alright, so I moved enough bags to slightly open the bathroom door, turned the knob to show “occupied,” and headed upstairs to find Ashley.

She was seated in an open aisle seat, across the aisle from a couple who was obviously on their honeymoon. Trust me, you can tell when a couple is on their honeymoon, especially for a cruise. Actually, it was refreshing to see people who were obviously going to enjoy themselves on the cruise. I tried to get a good look at their face because it was probably the last time I would ever see them out of their cabin, if you catch my drift.

“Hey, honey. How are things down there?” Ashley asked. I didn’t feel like telling her about the Bully. Besides, if anyone wanted to steal my stuff, I was in no shape to stop them.

“Good. How are things up here? Looking forward to the cruise?”

“You bet. I’m most looking forward to the water being free.” I couldn’t agree with her more.

We saw the beautiful blue vistas of the Mediterranean and within thirty minutes, we were approaching Citivecchia. We could see Celebrity’s Galaxy in the distance. I now began to relax. I headed downstairs to get our stuff. One good thing about being last on the train – you are the first off.

We got all of our stuff before we were trampled by everyone who wanted to get to the buffet first and headed out to find a cab. We did not get a cab in order to save money and instead decided to walk the few blocks to the port. Little did we know, those few blocks seemed like a few miles. Up a hill. In the heat. With five trillion pounds of luggage and getting heavier with each step. It was a dumb decision.

After stopping every third step to watch the people who splurged and took a taxi to the ship go by, we finally made it past the port gate, dripping in sweat, very hungry and not willing to go another inch. Like a mirage in a desert, we saw a bus with the sign “Celebrity Cruises” in the window.

A sign from God! Actually, a sign from Celebrity, but for the second time that day, we had been saved, and it was only 2:30 p.m. The driver gave me the luggage tags even though I previously filled them out before we left the States and, because my mind was thick with the Italian heat, it took me a lot longer to put them on our luggage than a normal person would take.

We arrived at the check-in area and put our luggage in the appropriate section. Stepping inside (air conditioning at last!), Ashley trotted off to find the bathroom while a tuxedoed man approached me with a tray full of small glasses of water.

“Would you like some water, sir?” In school, they teach you that there are no such things as dumb questions.

Well, there are. Your teachers lied to you all these years. There are such things as dumb questions and that was one of the dumbest I had ever heard. I think I lost fifteen pounds just walking from the train station to the bus.

I politely said yes, grabbed two glasses (if I was an octopus, I would have grabbed eight), and before he could leave, I chugged those two glasses the size of small juice glasses down and grabbed two more. I was hoping he could come back before Ashley got there so that I could get some for her.

She came back after I had downed four more glasses of water and we checked in. The check-in was extremely smooth. Before no time, we had checked in, gotten our boarding cards, walked through security, had our pre-board picture taken complete with festive background, walked onto the ship and grabbed a glass of champagne while being escorted to our cabin, all under ten minutes. Now, that’s the life!

The reason why I like cruises is because I get a chance to sit back and relax instead of always making sure that the plans I have diligently put together for six months are going smoothly. On a cruise, I can kick back, enjoy the scenery and just be myself.

When we got into the cabin, our boarding passes and bags were already there as well as our excursion tickets with our tour numbers on them. Ashley was looking very tired and she decided that she wanted to take a nap instead of getting lunch, so off I went to explore the ship, get something to eat, and enjoy myself.

My first stop on the Galaxy was the buffet in the Oasis Cafe. There had never been a better name for a place. It truly was an oasis and fortunately, there was not a mirage in sight. I had never seen so much food in my life! They had beef tips, salmon, roasted Greek chicken, potatoes, salads, vegetables, and desserts as far as the eye can see. They had every conceivable beverage and the best sweet iced tea I had outside of the South. As I sat down and started the first day of many in Gluttony, I kept thinking that I had died gone to Heaven. This must be what Heaven is like.

After gorging myself, I needed to walk some of it off and headed back to the room to get the map and see what is going on. I walked past the nice man in the sharp (but dated) burgundy sport coat hawking some drink called a “Bon Voyage” (it’s motto should have been, “One drink and it’s Bon Voyage for the night!”) and out of the Oasis Café toward the ship’s deck which was alive with Caribbean music (maybe they were confused and thought we were in the Bahamas) and vendors as far as the eye could see. There were people hovering around these vendors writing down things and so I, being the curious one and always up for an adventure, marched over to see what these people were writing down. I didn’t want to be left out.

The first stop was the jewelry section and people were trying to guess how much this Greek necklace was worth. A scavenger hunt! I love games! I’m not even on the boat an hour and already I’m engaged in something fun! I knew that I was going to have a great time.

I guessed too low on the necklace ($1650.00 for that thing? I guessed $50) and then I noticed what everyone else was doing…cheating. Everyone was looking on everyone else’s paper, exchanging answers, and not even bothering to guess at the trivia questions on the paper. The teacher in me wanted to give them a detention and snatch away their paper, but some of those people were downright mean. It was easy to tell the people who have cruised several times and those who have only cruised a few times.

The veterans were cheating while the newbies were playing along. The veterans didn’t even admire the ship while newbies were taking pictures. Veterans were changed and already sunning themselves (some of them NEEDED the Mediterranean sun as they were whiter than the chair they sat on) while the newbies were inside eating the buffet and reading the daily program.

While we are on the subject of chairs, what is with the marking of chairs? All of a sudden, there were no deck chairs to be had. Every single one of them – I mean ALL of them – were taken with someone pasty white and obviously had been practicing their eating skills at buffets for a few months in advance of the cruise. Especially those that took over six chairs even though they only needed two (well, three, actually). My research at www.cruisecritics.com warned me about these people. I’m surprised people weren’t peeing on them to mark their territory.

Why? Why the incessant need to grab as many deck chairs as possible? It wasn’t like they were free and these people got to keep them after the cruise. Throughout the cruise, I kept noticing the same people on the chairs and lots of empty chairs with towels in them, but no other significant notification of being inhabited. I wanted to just sit in one and wait for the owner to come in. As a matter of fact, the towels were getting more tan than their owners. Strange phenomenon.

I finished off the scavenger hunt (Celebrity calls it a “Welcome Aboard Showcase”), gathered my tickets to the free artwork drawing later that night, and meandered off to see if Ashley wanted anything to eat or drink. It was now around 4:30 and I met our room steward and assistant in the hallway (both very nice but they didn’t speak English well – I think the steward just got promoted that day) and they asked if my room was okay. I said that it was and utilized more of my research information – I asked if he could put padding underneath the bottom sheet as the beds are not that comfortable without it. If those people were going to hog all of the deck chairs, I was at least going to beat them to the comfort.

Ashley was sound asleep, but I wanted her to at least eat something because it was another 3 ½ hours until our late seating dinner. Besides, I wanted to see if I could sign up and win $100 worth of artwork. Maybe my luck in the day would continue!

I was able to get Ashley up and maneuvering around. She washed her face and we headed to the Oasis Café and she got something to eat, I munched on my second and third dessert (after all, dinner is hours away so it isn’t like I’m “spoiling” my appetite) and we heard the call to get our lifejackets and report to our stations.

We grabbed our lifejackets and headed for our section. Why is it that people try to be the center of attention during these things? They always have to be the class clown (or village idiot as the case may be). These people are blowing on the whistles, trying to put two people in one lifejacket, cracking old jokes that even Bob Hope and Groucho Marx got tired of using, and annoying everyone around them. While I am all about having fun, I’m not into annoying people around me by laughing at stupid jokes and being the wise guy.

The drill (thankfully) was over and we headed back to the room to freshen up for dinner and then see the ship set sail for Naples. The sun started to set and we headed out to watch the ship leave Citivecchia. As the ship pulled out, we saw people dressed up in party dresses and shirts and ties.

Citivecchia is nothing to look at (all we saw was the port and it was very industrial as most ports are) and we became excited to see the ship go, sit back and relax and just enjoy ourselves.

We got back to the room and I took a shower first. It was freezing cold! There was no hot water and it felt like they shipped the water straight from the Swiss Alps. If I had taken a shower right when we got on the ship as hot and sweaty as I was, I would have went into cardiac arrest.

My shower was very short and Ashley decided to brave the cold. I could tell she lost the battle when she gave out a loud yell and shouted “It’s cold!” I continued dressing as fast as I could to get some heat before hypothermia and frostbite set in, then sat down to look over my options after dinner tonight.

We got dressed and headed to dinner a little early at the Orion Restaurant. We wanted to attend the free artwork drawing that I earned free tickets to at the Meet and Greet earlier. It was at the foot of the main stairway down the center of the ship – no doubt to draw as much attention to what he was doing as possible.

The man running the art auctions called himself Tiny Tim. He was 6’8” and around 350 lbs. He could have played football as a lineman and still dwarfed the opponents. Tiny Tim was funny, engaging, charming, loud, gregarious and passionate about art all at once. He could have sold an Eskimo a bucket of ice cubes. He was that good of a salesman.

“If you all stick around for the drawing, I will do a quick impression of Camilla Parker Bowles later,” he said in his thick, English accent. He then proceeded to pitch his art auctions and how we could score millions of dollars of artwork for pennies.

“Tomorrow,” he pitched, “you could score millions of dollars of artwork for pennies. Plus, we’ll have another raffle and give away free champagne! Everyone who shows up will get a piece of artwork worth $100.00 and free champagne! All you need to do is bring your tickets that my lovely assistant is handing out now. Did I mention there was free champagne tomorrow? Just checking to see if you are still awake.”

He started calling out numbers and not everyone was there, so he re-called out numbers of tickets that went unclaimed. Lucky for me.

“The next prize is a painting worth over $650. Can everyone say ooooohhhh for me?” The audience, like lemmings, started oooohhhhing.

And he called my number! My lucky day was not over yet. He gave me instructions on where to pick up the artwork and when. I immediately wondered what it would look like. Ashley immediately wondered if we would have to pay taxes on the painting and if we did, would we be able to decline it.

He called out a few more numbers and gave out certificates for free ten minute massages, 50% off anything in the Duty-Free stores, a certificate for a free picture from the Gallery and Ashley won a box of chocolates. We tried to keep those the entire trip, but they didn’t make it.

Tiny Tim bid us good night and told us about the free champagne art auction on the first sea day. We left the area and headed off to dinner, but not before securing our certificate for the artwork.

On our way, we noticed that the pre-boarding pictures were up and Ashley found ours right away. We were the only ones who had sweat pouring down our faces and all over our bodies.

We looked like we had swam to the boat – from Florida. Everyone else was smiling and festive and, more importantly, dry. We started to buy the picture just so that no one would ever see it, but decided that we needed the money more, so we left it shamefully for others to ogle and laugh at. Who cares. We’ll never see these people again – hopefully.

We arrived a little early to dinner and saw the huge crowd standing outside of the Orion Restaurant. One thing that we did notice was that there were sanitizer dispensers everywhere. We really liked that. When you hear about all of the problems with norovirus – and seeing the other passengers, sanitation was not an issue for some as they clearly did not care about cleanliness – when the doors opened up for seating, we grabbed a handful of sanitizer and were shown to our seat.

On the first night of a cruise, everyone comes over and greets themselves to you. We met the assistant maitre ‘d (who was a major jerk and snob, clearly with a big ego), the waiter, Telma (who was as nice as we could ever ask for – her fiancé was also a waiter and he was serving the table next to us), the assistant waiter (don’t remember his name, but he was as quiet as a church mouse and always had iced tea on the table when we arrived – great service!), and just about everyone in between. I felt like this was the first day of school and I had to learn everyone’s name for a quiz later in the day.

I don’t know how waiters learn the names of all of the people that they serve and their eating and dining preferences. If I was a waiter, I’d have to have notecards and give them all nametags. Telma took a day or two, but she remembered our names, what we liked to eat and even made suggestions on what was good that night (“You definitely want to try the Prime Rib”) and what to avoid (“I think the Duckling was hardly touched and there is a lot left over”). All of her selections were spot on. She did not make a bad choice at all, guiding us with what she liked, what other passengers on different cruises said about the food, and giving us her unabashed critique of what to order.

I could not say enough about Telma. She told us about how she and her fiancé met, when they are getting married, her future in the cruise industry, and about her family back home. By the end of the cruise, we felt like she was our sister. We truly connected with her.

After a very filling dinner, we headed back toward our cabin, tired and ready for bed. We walked through the dance lounge and were embarrassed to see people the same age as my grandparents dancing the night away despite the fact that the Foxtrot they were dancing didn’t even come close to the 70’s music the band was playing.

“You wanna dance, honey?” I asked, knowing full well that there was no way that Ashley was going to dance tonight. Another night, maybe, but she could barely drag herself down the stairs to our cabin.

“Are you kidding me? No way.” She looked over at me and since she couldn’t read my face as to whether I was joking or not, she came back with a sympathetic, “Do you?”

“No,” I responded, suddenly feeling very tired. “I am worn out, just like the people after 11 p.m. in the Rendezvous Lounge.” And I felt just like them, too. I’m young, but I was old enough to know that tomorrow was a big day as we were going to visit the Isle of Capri (pronounce KAH-pree), Sorrento and Pompeii. The casino would have to wait for another night.

We headed back to our cabin and our sheets were turned down and ever so inviting. It didn’t take us long to get to sleep, especially since we would be led on a tour by the Godfather himself, whose vocabulary was unintelligible because he suffered from mumble-mouth and we would meet up with two ladies who had more energy than five-year-olds on Red Bull.

[cml3]

Your review is VERY entertaining!!!

My family and I are going on the Millie in June. We are adding days on in Venice and Barcelona. I have started doing my research to plan what tours we will do. (My husband was begining to get a little nervous that nothing was planned yet.) I started to read your review just to get some good ideas and now I am hooked. I laughed out loud and had to read sections to my husband. I only wish you were traveling with children because I believe it would have given you even more material. We travel with our 2 daughters 17 and 15 so I know this first hand.

Hope to see your next chapter soon.

Carol

[skibunie]

OMG, you make me LOL almost every paragragh. Ditto about you taking along some teens just for the additional material. I will be taking my 2 teen sons on their first cruise (BCN to VCN) this June.

 

Re the electrical fires. :confused: I believe the adapter only changes the plug to fit the outlet. You additionally need a converter to change the watts. Or maybe it's the other way around.

 

You are so hilarious and informative I can't wait to read more about your ship and shore experiences. As for buying bad ship photos so no one else will stand there and laugh at them - been there and done that!

 

Please keep writing. You truly have a talent.

Cindy in so ca

[cml3]

CIndy,

You must be going right before us! We are doing VCN-BCN 6/18/07 on Millenium.

We are trying to figure out the adapter/converter issue. We added days on either end of cruise-so that would be the only time we would need it (Tell 2 teenage girls they can't use their hair straightener and it would not be pretty).

Carol

RI

[MedwardBound]

Please do post some pictures--after all the discussion of the camera, it would be a shame not to see some of the results.

[travelingmcmahans]

I'm reading it out loud too. More please! :)

[LrdNorman]

I've got a (slightly) used adapter / converter you could have...cheap. :)

 

For some reason, it isn't letting me upload photos.

 

Will try again later for you...

 

Kevin

[LrdNorman]

 

 

 

 

Trying this out...

[lambs2]

So enjoying your review! We are from Florida too - Flagler Beach north of Daytona. We are looking forward to our last minute Mediterranean cruise and few extra days' stay in Venice pre and post. Your descriptions are great and thanks to your suggestion we just booked the last available room at the Pallazo Guardi for for the day before our cruise leaves. A bit more than we planned to spend, but what-the-heck, being that close to all the action in venice is WORTH it! We are staying some additional time after the cruise but have already pre-paid at a place closer to the airport and will just keep those reservations.

 

Looking forward to your next installment when you get the time!

Ciao!

[krennen]

Getting itchy for another installment of your trip. Don't leave us waiting too long. Happy Easter!

[LrdNorman]

Lambs2, here is the picture of our room at the Palazzo Guardi...