Should I expect rude comments?

[Kerry's Girls]

When I travel with my children, I am sensitive to the fact that there are some places where children do not belong, such as a fancy restaurant with a leisurely pace of service. When the children were younger, they wouldn't have been able to sit still that long. Children also don't belong at a museum where they will have trouble being quiet and still enough to allow others to fully enjoy the museum.

 

Good points - but you don't mean the main dining room on a cruise ship? Children absolutely belong there as long as they're behaving (just like anywhere else). And, many museums (including the famous Getty museum here in L.A.) encourage parents to bring toddlers and children.

 

Best,

Mia

[Onessa]

When I travel with my children, I am sensitive to the fact that there are some places where children do not belong, such as a fancy restaurant with a leisurely pace of service. When the children were younger, they wouldn't have been able to sit still that long. Children also don't belong at a museum where they will have trouble being quiet and still enough to allow others to fully enjoy the museum. Children don't belong at a pool which prohibits children. My mother-in-law was always of the opinion that her grandchildren are exceptionally beautiful, smart and well-behaved, so they belong everywhere, and that everybody does or should enjoy them. I don't agree. Of course, my children are exceptionally smart, beautiful and well-behaved :) but nobody should have to put up with them if they are acting like children will and adults are trying to enjoy some adult time. Beyond that, I would ignore the rude comments.

 

IDOTK - It depends upon the kid! DD (now 11YO) has always had the patience of a saint when it comes to museums. I can still picture her at the Ufficio in Florence looking at the "Birth of Venus". She was SO intent upon that picture walking around the room to see it from different vantange points and asking me all sorts of questions. The other visitors to the room were tickled by her interest and two of them commented that things that she saw and questioned, they would not have noticed themselves. When she was three she sat a docent down on the floor of the museum in Sante Fe to show him something she had noticed from that angle on an O'Keefe. I have some great drawings she did at a Gaugaun/Van Gogh exhibit at SLAM - they had paintings both artists had done of the same woman along with a photgraph of the woman - so she did her version of it.

 

Now she DOES get antsie during the full seating in the dining room! I generally let her bring a book along to read when she is through with her meal or sometimes one of us will bring her to the kids program between courses.

 

It all comes down to knowing what your kid will "take" and not placing them into situations where you know that they are not ready (or willing) to handle.

[LostAgain]

Good points - but you don't mean the main dining room on a cruise ship? Children absolutely belong there as long as they're behaving (just like anywhere else). And' date=' many museums (including the famous Getty museum here in L.A.) encourage parents to bring toddlers and children.

Best,

Mia[/quote']

 

Hi, Mia. No, I don't mean the main dining room of the cruise ship. Children are full-fledged paying guests and deserve to be there. Well, at least, as you said, as long as they are behaving. But the same is true of adults -- I've been in restaurants where I wish some of the other adults were not there. :rolleyes: And, as for museums, we have taken our children to many museums on children's day, or taken them on regular days if it was a museum that encouraged children and it was a short day that they could handle. My children are now 11 and 15, and they can handle just about any situation or location. I get lots of compliments on their table manners and polite behavior. I really think it's because they were exposed to many different situations and were expected to learn how to behave properly in each. But, while they were learning how to behave, I did not expect others to have to put up with them. One of my goals as a parent is to send them out as adults who are a joy to have around.

[LostAgain]

IDOTK - It depends upon the kid! DD (now 11YO) has always had the patience of a saint when it comes to museums. ... It all comes down to knowing what your kid will "take" and not placing them into situations where you know that they are not ready (or willing) to handle.

 

I totally agree that you have to know your own children. My children, too, have always loved art museums. We'd stay as long as they were quietly enjoying the art and not disturbing others.

[Kerry's Girls]

My children are now 11 and 15, and they can handle just about any situation or location. I get lots of compliments on their table manners and polite behavior. I really think it's because they were exposed to many different situations and were expected to learn how to behave properly in each.

 

That's so great to hear! Besides all the fun we have on vacation, even though my little ones won't remember the specific trips at this age, I'm hoping that like your kids, mine are gaining from the experiences.

 

Best,

Mia

[LostAgain]

That's so great to hear! Besides all the fun we have on vacation' date=' even though my little ones won't remember the specific trips at this age, I'm hoping that like your kids, mine are gaining from the experiences.

Best,

Mia[/quote']

 

Oh, they are definitely gaining from every experience, whether it is a trip to the corner store or a trip around the world. They are learning new vocabulary, and how to behave in and interact with the world. They are also learning that new adventures cause some anxiety but hopefully are fun. Not to mention that they are learning how to be safe in all kinds of environments, and to speak up for themselves especially if they need help, etc., etc., etc. Each day is a learning experience for a child. The more that you can expose them to, the greater their learning. They will be learning while under your watchful care, and will be ready to explore the world on their own as adults.

[larronry]

I really have enjoyed reading everyones posts. First I waited till later in life to have a child. I am also the one in the airplane that, before child, would see a frazzled mom and help out instead of making comments. I also see the kid in the store having a temper tantrum and the mom not giving in and tell the mom to keep up the good work. And I've actually had those kudos returned to me on occasion.

 

Last year when my son was 9 months old we went on our first trip on an airplane. He was an angel the whole time. Boy how a year changes things. By January we stopped taking to restaurants because I kept walking out, this past March my husband wanted to go to his friends son's Bar Mitzvah, but I said that he could go, but I wouldn't bring the baby on a plane right now. Just a few weeks ago I passed up going to my cousins wedding for the same reason (heartbreaking, but the car ride wouldn't have been an option either - 18 hours). My easy going baby has turned into a very temperamental toddler.

 

Now I have talked to a lot of parents and started bringing my bag of tricks including a DVD player to restaurants and we are up to an hour with about 6 months to go. However, cruising again without my son is not an option. We went last December and there were toddler everywhere and I missed him from the moment I stepped on the ship till the moment I got home and he wouldn't have anything to do with me. In fact I wasn't even allowed to touch him for 6 hours. I actually think he'll love the cruise because he hates staying home and loves running around and being on the go so taking him to the empty areas of the ship (night clubs) during the day to run around will be the best thing for him and letting him dance on deck will be a blast.

 

I remember two cruises ago while I was trying to get pregnant there was this toddler who was everywhere. She was the cutest most well behaved little girl. And everyone commented, both passengers and crew.

 

My parents always brought me on vacation and I absolutely believe in bringing children on vacation. However that does not mean you get a vacation from being a parent, which is why he didn't come last time because I needed sleep, but that was a mistake because I missed him more then I needed sleep.

[lostie]

My parents always brought me on vacation and I absolutely believe in bringing children on vacation. However that does not mean you get a vacation from being a parent, which is why he didn't come last time because I needed sleep, but that was a mistake because I missed him more then I needed sleep.

 

I agree. I take my children with me everywhere! The first time I slept away from my first DS, I was in the hospital having the second DS. Went to a wedding 2 hours away once (and slept at the hotel that night as not to drink & drive), well the crack of dawn I was waking my DH up to rush home to my boys. He couldn't understand my withdrawal but he accomodated my need to leave.:)

[calgary cruiser]

We've cruised with Carnival, RCCL and Celebrity with our son and will never sail Celebrity again. We went in Jan 06 with them and our son was 5...some of the lound, obnoxious comments made by the "older crowd" were unbelievable. Everthing from "I'm tired of subsidizing cruises for families so their brats can cruise for free" to forcibly moving him if he was too slow in line for the buffet.

 

Don't get me wrong, Celebrity is a great cruise line but the demographic they generally attract and the off season time of year was a poor mix for us. We have stuck with Carnival now as I personally think their food is better anyway and definitly they are for EVERYONE including families. I even have older friends who were Holland American alumni switch alliance to Carnival since they joined us on our last cruise.

[hince57]

We've cruised with Carnival, RCCL and Celebrity with our son and will never sail Celebrity again. We went in Jan 06 with them and our son was 5...some of the lound, obnoxious comments made by the "older crowd" were unbelievable. Everthing from "I'm tired of subsidizing cruises for families so their brats can cruise for free" to forcibly moving him if he was too slow in line for the buffet.

 

Don't get me wrong, Celebrity is a great cruise line but the demographic they generally attract and the off season time of year was a poor mix for us. We have stuck with Carnival now as I personally think their food is better anyway and definitly they are for EVERYONE including families. I even have older friends who were Holland American alumni switch alliance to Carnival since they joined us on our last cruise.

 

had i witnessed that behavior toward my kids, i might've whipped somebody's tail.

[larronry]

Wow, when we last went on Celebrity it was Oct and everyone was doting on this little girl. Now of course someone could have made some rude comments and I never heard it, but everyone I saw and heard seemed to to enjoy her presence.

[lrizit]

The funny thing is - I DID hear rude comments when I cruised with my husband in a wheelchair. "I should bring one of those so I get special treatment too" and the like. Clearly' date=' there are rude people everywhere, but they have bigger problems than children or wheelchairs on board, so if you encounter one - and you probably won't - don't let them affect your vacation.

 

Best,

Mia[/quote']

 

You know...I heard that comment too...about my 10 year old son in Disney World! So, my father offered to break the guys feet too so he COULD have one :D. People can be jerks. I try not to listen to them at all, although...I did get baited once on Royal by this awful woman who thought it was cute to insult the way my 5 year old daughter looked! She was just a mean horrible nasty miserable woman. I just told her nothing she said would ruin my trip, and I was here to have fun...so cheers to her and have a great trip. I think that peeved her off more than anything because she didn't get a big fight out of me. Turns out, she was picking fights with everyone, as we later heard.

No one else bothered us. We're taking them for the first time on the Fascination in a few weeks, and we're all excited.

Heck what other people think...it's a big ship...if you don't like looking at my kids having fun then move.

[lostie]

I did get baited once on Royal by this awful woman who thought it was cute to insult the way my 5 year old daughter looked! She was just a mean horrible nasty miserable woman. I just told her nothing she said would ruin my trip, and I was here to have fun...so cheers to her and have a great trip. I think that peeved her off more than anything because she didn't get a big fight out of me. Turns out, she was picking fights with everyone, as we later heard.

 

OMG what did she say?

[lrizit]

lol...I don't even remember exactly...something about my daughter looking like she belonged in an orphanage or something. It was a pathetic attempt to get me worked up. I almost bit too, then realized what an unhappy woman she was...She picked fights with everyone on the ship. Even a group of 20something girls said she was screaming at them about not getting off the elevator fast enough. :rolleyes: Some people just look for fights.

[iheartbda]

If your kids are polite and well behaved you will never hear a word from anyone. If your kids are out of control and screaming and running around bumping into people and being completely unruly expect to get some dirty looks and an occasional comment. I guess what it comes down to is if as a parent you can control your kids or if they control you.

 

This is it in a nutshell. If, in spite of the fact they are well behaved and you get a snide comment, ignore it as those people probably complain about EVERYTHING.

 

On the flip side, I was on a cruise where a child was lying on the floor in front of an elevator preventing anyone from getting on or off. Mother became quite incensed that anyone should dare to say ANYTHING about her child even though it was in a polite manner. I just watched in disbelief as a 4 year old held numerous adults hostage

[lrizit]

On the flip side, I was on a cruise where a child was lying on the floor in front of an elevator preventing anyone from getting on or off. Mother became quite incensed that anyone should dare to say ANYTHING about her child even though it was in a polite manner. I just watched in disbelief as a 4 year old held numerous adults hostage

 

 

Now that's just one of the most pathetic things I've ever heard. I'd have whacked my kids tush!

Sad sad sad....

[Baxter]

the only thing anyone has ever said is "They're not even going to remember this"

 

"Neither will you, once the Alzheimer's kicks in"

[laul0005]

We've cruised with Carnival, RCCL and Celebrity with our son and will never sail Celebrity again. We went in Jan 06 with them and our son was 5...some of the lound, obnoxious comments made by the "older crowd" were unbelievable. Everthing from "I'm tired of subsidizing cruises for families so their brats can cruise for free" to forcibly moving him if he was too slow in line for the buffet.

 

 

How on earth are children supposed to learn how to behave when the adult world has so many poor role models?

[PrincessDreams4P&B]

As the mother of two special needs kids, I have been the target of several rude comments....not on a cruise ship. We are taking our children on their first cruise. I plan to "pack" some of the great lines I read on this post.

 

I would certainly hope that any passenger who doesn't like what he sees/hears would keep it to himself (or herself)

 

Families with young children have the right to enjoy themselves at places other than Disney.

 

 

I too have 2 special needs children and they have Autism, which is very often not noticable unless you know the signs (they are both high functioning). My children do the very best that they can but if they are on sensory overload, they have outbursts that to the untrained eye look like temper tantrums. My 8yr. old, looks big for his age anyway, which makes it even worse when he is melting away and I get looks, comments etc. I usually try and remember what I thought before I had children and found out they had autism, and I try to be patient with (mostly) well meaning by standers and educate them in my children's disorder (albeit briefly) but sometimes, someone shoots their mouth off and I have to set them straight. Our last cruise, we got a specific time to be at the tender for our children. Asking a child with Autism to wait in line is like asking a quadraplegic to walk. Someone in line, got very upset and asked a crew member why we were just walking on. The crew member stated that our children had a disability. The passanger then said and I will ever forget "Well they look fine to me, I guess I must be disabled too", to which I walked over and said, if you would like to take my children's disability and everything that goes with it, I will stand in the longest line, all the time every time for the rest of my life" He backed down and apologized.

 

As for the comment that people make about "they won't remember it, their too young, what memories will they have?"

 

I always say.."In time they will make their own memories, now they are here for mine".

[ilovewdw]

I have only been on vacation once without kids...that was 3 nights in Vegas in November. It was great, but I LOVE vacationing with my kids! Yes, we go to Walt Disney World...every year. But should they only be able to experience Mickey and Minnie? No way! I didn't even think TWICE about their ages when I booked my cruise the other day. All I read about online was how great their kids club is. We're sailing the Norwegian Spirit. OK, so MAYBE I won't be taking them to the steak house or to the French restaurant...but I just might, depending on their mood that day!

 

My DS will be 6 1/2 and DD will be a month shy of 3 when we go in April. DS has ADHD and Aspergers, which is on the low end of the Autism Spectrum. He is on medication, so OBVIOUSLY we will bring it and he will have a great time.

 

Hey, it's a big ship...if you don't want to see my kids, you are free to move about the ship. ;)

[20165]

One thing I haven’t seen mentioned on this post, and I haven’t read every post so I apologize if I am repeating something someone already said, is that RCL, Carnival and of course Disney market to Families which obviously includes children. Just look at their websites and not to mention, all of the kid friendly activities on the ships. I’ve read these negative posts for years and these people have an agenda to try to get kids off the ships which is ridicules given the cruise lines obviously want them on their especially the ones I mentioned. Just like there are kid friendly cruise lines, there are also adult friendly cruise lines such as HAL, Cunard, Silversea, etc. All of which cater to adults. So, im pretty sure people know what they are getting into when they pick a cruise line. RCL and Carnival are going to have kids on them, Cunard and Silversea are going to have very few if any kids on them. If people are upset with that, they need to talk to the cruise lines themselves because that is who they are marketing to.

 

Now, off my soapbox, I have cruise 3 times over the last 4 years, all with my children under the age of 5 and I have never heard a negative comment. It is much easier to write the negative comments than to actually say them in person…

[KC_fn]

OP: If you have raised your kids to be reasonably well-behaved (age-appropriate of course), AND if you remove them when their behavior is such that it will probably disturb others (not allowing the 2-year-old's meltdown to ruin dinner for hundreds of people).... then I think most people will be not only tolerant of, but charmed by, your kids.

 

The kids who bother me are the ones whose parents have an attitude of "I'm on vacation; I can't be bothered with being a parent" -- OR -- "My little perfect darling angel can do no wrong; you are privileged to have the honor of attending her tantrum." But you don't strike me as either of those. ;) I think you and they will be just fine. Enjoy!

[cruise kitty]

You sound like a good, responsible Mom, you and kids should be fine. Most of the anti-kid comments (mine included) are aimed towards bad parents rather than the kids, there's nothing quite like trying to enjoy the adult pool while a bunch of 6 year olds have a cherry bomb contest in it, or dinner where a 3 year old screams and throws food and is never taken away for a nap. Travel is great for kids and so is discipline and good manners. It sounds like yours have both so enjoy.

[clansac]

We just got off the Voyager and had nothing but nice compliments to our son who is 4 1/2. He's used to being around adults, had dinner in the dining room every night and had the servers wrapped around his little finger! We had practiced some before we left but a few well placed "may I please have" and "Thank you so much" goes a long way!

 

We saw plenty of very naughty adults who needed time outs- most over 65! Seriously, someone needs to round up the AARP crowd and go over elevator manners again. Do you need to shove people out of the way to get on before they have even gotten off?

 

The only time my son got a nasty look and a comment was when he politely (lol!) told a Red Hat lady "You need to wait your turn too miss!"

[sargenet]

After reading through all the posts... I am starting to get worried. I am going to be on Holland America in April for a very short 3 day cruise to the Bahamas. One day in Nassau, one at Half Moon Cay... then back again. I am a seasoned cruiser, my sister is not... and this is the first time my 4 year old son is cruising. Normally HAL is not the cruise line I would choose with a small child, but we definately wanted a short cruise to see how my son would like it. (and the adults too since we haven't been on HAL)

 

Since I have been on all the other 3-4 days cruises many times on RCCL & Carnival, I thought this might be a nice change. Plus.... my son was totally free as a 3rd person, I only had to pay taxes. I read about their children's program and people seemed pleased. He would be in the 3-5 year old group. I just found out that their program doesn't start till 8pm!! Yikes!! I am starting to wonder how we are going to spent our and around the ship in the evenings...but I have been told the room has a DVD player!

 

I am hoping that this cruise (since it is short and starts on a weekend) will be full of younger crowds and maybe more children! My son is your average happy go lucky, VERY active boy. I hope I don't experience a lot of rude comments!!