Babysitting service... for Seniors

[HurricaneSally]

Ya know, sometimes as a caregiver, one does things that just "might" cause a positive reaction, while giving oneself a bit of a well deserved break. Not everyone can do the job of being a caretaker, and no one can make a judgement without being personally involved. We always hope that this new event will be the one that breaks that depressed/unhappy barrier. Nursing homes and retirement homes are expensive, family care is not always easy, and perhaps being with family, even when the cared for one is snarly, is the greatest joy that that snarly person can experience. Lighten up.

 

To the OP, do what ya gotta do. I see the humor in your experience. ;)

 

 

My mom died at 56 and I miss her terribly. I wish I had the chance to take her on a cruise, no matter how grumpy she may be now if she had lived. She was my best friend, and I miss her.

[Peaceful]

My mom died at 56 and I miss her terribly. I wish I had the chance to take her on a cruise, no matter how grumpy she may be now if she had lived. She was my best friend, and I miss her.

 

That must be painful for you. I'm sorry that you lost her when she was so young. A lesson for each of us that I'm sure you will agree with: take each day as a blessing. We never know what is around the corner and you can't go back.

[Honeybear]

My DARLING mom was with us on our last cruise and you would have thought we took her on the Bataan death march. The idea of walking from the dining room to the theatre produced more groans than the birth of quads. Excursions, oh please, every citizen on the islands of Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, and Tortola know my family. Between my Dh yelling for all of us to hurry up, my Dsis yelling for everyone to slow down, my Dmom yelling "I can't breathe", my seven year old nephew chasing the chickens, and my DD and Fsil desperately trying to escape the madness, a fun time was had by all.

We were the only people the cabbies and vendors didn't try and solicit, in fact they all looked away as we approached. I think they drew straws and the loser had to take us.

Of course she got seasick, and we all took turns coming into the cabin to gaze down at her while she moaned and sighed. The seasickness did subside at dinnertime, and lunchtime, and breakfast time, and snack time and late nite pizza time, thank goodness. The water was too cold and the sun was too hot. The shade was too cool and the hot tub was never just right. She did go to arts and crafts after she saw me looking wistfully from her to the ships rail and back to her again one too many times.

 

THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST CRUISES OF MY LIFE.:D

I might not do it again soon cos I am out of Valium but I would do it again!

 

I'm not kidding, I was here by myself laughing out loud!!! Your post was a masterpiece. Thank you, I really needed that belly shaking laugh. I only have two things to say, 1) I hope you and your family have another really great cruise. 2) I hope "my" DD doesn't see your post!!! LOL :D

[CruiseNaked]

I'd ask her if she is really interested in going, cause if I were her, after reading your original post, I wouldn't want to go either.

[HurricaneSally]

That must be painful for you. I'm sorry that you lost her when she was so young. A lesson for each of us that I'm sure you will agree with: take each day as a blessing. We never know what is around the corner and you can't go back.

 

I agree. I only cruise because of my mom. She always wanted to go on a cruise and my dad would never take her. If I had money back then, I would have taken her, but my kids were little and I couldn't afford it then. So, when my youngest graduated from college I started to live for me and took my first cruise in 1998, or 14 cruises ago.

[mamaskittles]

My mom died at 56 and I miss her terribly. I wish I had the chance to take her on a cruise, no matter how grumpy she may be now if she had lived. She was my best friend, and I miss her.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope you can see that those of us that are blessed to have our grumpy parents still with us do appreciate them and take their antics with the humor necessary to get through days that are very tough sometimes.

I make fun of my Mom but I love her dearly and I count myself very very lucky that I was able to share a cruise with her.

There are no words to express the compassion I feel for you. I am sure your Mom loved you very much.

[Lisa NJ]

My mom died at 56 and I miss her terribly. I wish I had the chance to take her on a cruise, no matter how grumpy she may be now if she had lived. She was my best friend, and I miss her.

 

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please bring something special of hers with you on your next cruise...especially her in your heart...which is obvious she is always with you!

[Lisa NJ]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope you can see that those of us that are blessed to have our grumpy parents still with us do appreciate them and take their antics with the humor necessary to get through days that are very tough sometimes.

I make fun of my Mom but I love her dearly and I count myself very very lucky that I was able to share a cruise with her.

There are no words to express the compassion I feel for you. I am sure your Mom loved you very much.

 

I am so glad that HSally had you to talk with tonight. Your words are beautiful and conforting.

~Lisa

[vjmatty]

:confused: I must be reading everything wrong here.... I don't see why it is a cold and selfish statement to say someone has 6 months to get their mother ready for a cruise they planned just for her. I also think it was george2000 that said his Dad pays for his cruises, I didn't see the OP saying her mom pays for theirs. Again, I might just be misreading posts. I am cruising with my Dad in 11 days, and he has Alzheimers. We are paying for him, and people think we are nuts because he will forget about it after the event but I like to make these days happy ones, especially since he still knows us.

[HurricaneSally]

Sorry, didn't mean to bring down the fun of this thread. I really enjoyed it too. It just struck a nerve with me that she was paying for his cruise

[SAILSKAT]

God bless you for taking her. I know my mom could probaly be the same way when she's a bit older. My grandmother would have had a blast (god bless her soul). I would do anything to have that time with her! (She would have been tearing up the casino and everyone on the ship would know her name.) Take it for what it's worth. You will not regret spending the time with her. I wish we were on your cruise. My DD and I would help you out and probably get her out and about. My DD works in a hospital (and is pre-med in college, 3rd year) and LOVES the older folks. She would be your Mom's best friend. You are a blessed person for taking her and someday when you have to cruise without her, you'll be happy that you took the time and effort to take her along - the memories will last forever. (I think that deep down inside she loves it, but she can't let you know it right now.) It's just too much for her at this time. If she really was miserable she would be impossible to take along. Knowing that she goes along is a BIG deal. She goes - that's a vicoty in itself!!! My dad will never go (too stuborn to enjoy it). But you have to know that she wants to go and be with you and that's all that matters. Life is too short to analyze the details, just enjoy it while you can! Bon Voyage to many more sailings with your family!;)

[firefly333]

You guys are making me smile. I thought I was the only one travelling with someone who doesnt care about seeing the ocean, take her out on the deck at night and she complains about the wind messing up her hair. Saves money dont ya think? She doesnt want a balcony where the wind is going to blow, a window is just fine. Looks like we got some here spending all their time in a inside cabin, guess I am better off than I thought.

[CruisinGrams]

Does your Mom hate all cruises or just Carnival? Would she just like to sit on a balcony and watch the sea? You can rent the motorized craft for getting around on the ship and that may be an option to give her more freedom if she is unable to make the long walks around the ship. If it is the Carnival Style of cruise she dislikes and you are doing this for her perhaps try a cruiseline that would be more to her taste (and age). If she hates cruising, then let the poor woman stay home but make it clear that you are doing so at her request. Perhaps she could go live in a retirement home for the time you are away (we have places that you can rent by the month). That way she has someone to take care of her. She may decide the cruise may be a whole lot more pleasant than a seniors suite. If she would like to sit on a balcony and watch the water, then maybe she would be willing to pay the difference for an upgrade to a balcony. I think you need to communicate some options to her and let her know she can make her situation a lot better, but she has to choose to do so.

[Grtcdnwolf]

:D :D First off... I paid completely for the first cruise... as a birthday gift to her... lol...

 

second... I think the half neked native from Cozumel got her in the right mood...

 

third... they have a singles night get-together... why not a seniors night get-together... LOL..

 

fourth... I use to be a Bingo caller... so naa naa naa naa

 

I think my biggest complaint was that I was trying too hard to make sure that she had a good time... that maybe I didn't have a good time...lol (ie no late night partying... etc...lol )

[Sea Turtle]

I hold fast on my reactions to Grtcdnwolf's original comments as I didn’t recognize any humor in the posts if that was the attempt. It’s a message board—I don’t know the inside story of any poster anymore than he knows mine.

 

Grtcdnwolf experienced a cruise with his mom 7-8 months prior to posting his request for help with a Christmas 2007 cruise. And, Grtcdnwolf as stated above, says his mother spent most of her time in the cabin, is disabled, and he doesn’t approve of her sun wear. Grtcdnwolf asked for as ‘much help as possible’ minus alcohol ( ;) ) in priming his mother for another cruise. I personally don’t see where a cruise is the match for this mother/son Christmas affair. Grtcdnwolf, I truly hope all your plans/dreams come to life.

 

Peaceful, thanks for your thoughts. It’s hard to get in front and/or behind this job as caregiver.

 

Vjmatty—don’t just borrow my words, :p :D , step up and officially quote me if you beg to differ. I said those words ‘cold and selfish’, I own them and I’m not afraid to defend them! ;-) Have a fabulous NYC cruise on Victory in 11 days with your father!!! I wish my dad were strong enough to cruise this month. I grew up in Florida so we had several occasions to cruise as a family. I miss it and today’s vessels would shock my dad.

 

If nothing else, in your thoughts tonight, hug a parent. :)

[vjmatty]

 

Vjmatty—don’t just borrow my words, :p :D , step up and officially quote me if you beg to differ. I said those words ‘cold and selfish’, I own them and I’m not afraid to defend them! ;-) Have a fabulous NYC cruise on Victory in 11 days with your father!!! I wish my dad were strong enough to cruise this month. I grew up in Florida so we had several occasions to cruise as a family. I miss it and today’s vessels would shock my dad.

 

:o Actually, I wanted to, but since I would have been quoting you quoting wolf and the program wouldn't let me post both your quote and his quote, I had to take the gist of both and put them together....know what I mean? ;) I figured out multiquote once and can't remember how I did it. :confused: Anyway I didn't mean to take your quotes out of context, and I am sorry if that became the result.

 

I thank you for your good wishes, and I too think my Dad might be shocked with the size of the Victory, but he has seen the hokey pre-cruise DVD and is excited about going.

[mamaskittles]

I hold fast on my reactions to Grtcdnwolf's original comments as I didn’t recognize any humor in the posts if that was the attempt. It’s a message board—I don’t know the inside story of any poster anymore than he knows mine.

 

Grtcdnwolf experienced a cruise with his mom 7-8 months prior to posting his request for help with a Christmas 2007 cruise. And, Grtcdnwolf as stated above, says his mother spent most of her time in the cabin, is disabled, and he doesn’t approve of her sun wear. Grtcdnwolf asked for as ‘much help as possible’ minus alcohol ( ;) ) in priming his mother for another cruise. I personally don’t see where a cruise is the match for this mother/son Christmas affair. Grtcdnwolf, I truly hope all your plans/dreams come to life.

 

Peaceful, thanks for your thoughts. It’s hard to get in front and/or behind this job as caregiver.

 

Vjmatty—don’t just borrow my words, :p :D , step up and officially quote me if you beg to differ. I said those words ‘cold and selfish’, I own them and I’m not afraid to defend them! ;-) Have a fabulous NYC cruise on Victory in 11 days with your father!!! I wish my dad were strong enough to cruise this month. I grew up in Florida so we had several occasions to cruise as a family. I miss it and today’s vessels would shock my dad.

 

If nothing else, in your thoughts tonight, hug a parent. :)

 

I don't understand the defensiveness. The OP was not in any way asking for justification in taking Mom on a cruise. I read the post as sharing some experiences from last cruise and maybe looking for "hey that happened too me too" or try tea time as Fred said.

I see a ton of humor in the posts because if you can't find humor in the very stressful situation of being a caregiver to an elderly or infirm parent you are going to lose the battle.

I worked for many years as the recreation director in a nursing home. I took those seniors all over the place. We went to the zoo, the race track, ballgames, the aquarium, the mall, and the Chinese buffet just to name a few. Those with dementia had a good time sometimes, sometimes a bad. Sometimes both within minutes. Those who were just grumpy had the same experiences. You know what the ones who complained the most were the first to sign up for the next trip.

So Grtchnwolf my advice speak not of the cruise. On the day you leave put her in the car and tell her you are going to the podiatrist (seniors looove the podiatrist) and whisk her onboard before she knows what hit her. While on the cruise keep telling her that the maitre-d is making eyes at her. When she starts to complain agree with all she says and ask her why she forced you on this trip in the first place. If she tries to stay in the room all day mention it loudly around some teens I guarantee they will bang on the door every 6 seconds and spring her right out of there.

Bring a large umbrella onboard so she can sit on deck with it over her head. Of course you have to keep shouting "it stopped raining ma" really loudly.

And lastly my mom gets all the hugs she could possibly need, now she wants jewelry:)

[petro772]

I suggest you start drinking heavily. ;)

[Sea Turtle]

:o Actually, I wanted to, but since I would have been quoting you quoting wolf and the program wouldn't let me post both your quote and his quote, I had to take the gist of both and put them together....know what I mean? ;) I figured out multiquote once and can't remember how I did it. :confused: Anyway I didn't mean to take your quotes out of context, and I am sorry if that became the result.

 

I thank you for your good wishes, and I too think my Dad might be shocked with the size of the Victory, but he has seen the hokey pre-cruise DVD and is excited about going.

 

:D :D Just funning with you Ginny--no harm done on the 'non-quote'!!

 

Have you been on the Victory? I hope your dad likes the color green. It really is a nice ship but green is the color of the day. I liked it. Enjoy!

 

 

Apologies to GrtCndWolf for hi-jacking your thread with a Bon Voyage to Ginny.

 

And, to mamaskittles, I was listening to you until you said, 'I took those seniors all over the place'.

 

Midnight is just around the corner. Enjoy your Monday, all.

[vjmatty]

:D :D Just funning with you Ginny--no harm done on the 'non-quote'!!

 

Have you been on the Victory? I hope your dad likes the color green. It really is a nice ship but green is the color of the day. I liked it. Enjoy!

 

 

Apologies to GrtCndWolf for hi-jacking your thread with a Bon Voyage to Ginny.

 

And, to mamaskittles, I was listening to you until you said, 'I took those seniors all over the place'.

 

Midnight is just around the corner. Enjoy your Monday, all.

 

I have never been on any Carnival ship... this will be my first. I just know the size he is used to from the smaller ships we used take from Athens to different islands in Greece, when I would visit him before I brought him back to the US.

 

I hope you have a good Monday and a good week :)

[jessemon]

Does Carnival offer Senior babysitting services for grumpy seniors who don't know or want to have fun? I took my mother on a cruise last October and she spent most of the time in the room (an inside one at that). She is also physically disabled (walks with a cane) so most physical activities are out. And when she did come out in the sun this is what she wore!!!:eek:

 

Worse part is that she doesn't drink so getting her drunk isn't an option...

 

I have 6 months to get her ready for the Christmas cruise I planned especially for her and need as much help as possible.

ROFLMAO Wolfie........:D

I say take her for a stroll on deck near the rail. Then one quick hip check and "Merry Christmas".......;) :eek:

I know...I ain't right.....:p

Either that or find her a Grumpy Grandpa with a big cane who's horny.....

[mamaskittles]

And, to mamaskittles, I was listening to you until you said, 'I took those seniors all over the place'.

 

Midnight is just around the corner. Enjoy your Monday, all.[/quote=Sea Turtle;10441465)

 

I suppose I could have said residents but In my many years of experience most of the seniors at the nursing home prefered that title. Seniors. They felt they earned it. Residents give the conotation of being in a home not living in a home. Unless you work or live in one I'm not sure you would know the difference.

And I did take them everywhere. Sometimes from my own pocket. Sometimes I did fundraisers. The home was privately owned and the administration felt there was no need to spend money on such foolishness as trips for seniors. The families ...well who knows their issues.

Some of the best were just walks around the block to look at the Christmas lights on the houses. Of course I was teasing them to hurry or I would lock them out heehee. I teased them all the time. And they loved it.

 

I loved those seniors more than you will know and I know in my heart and soul MY TAKING THOSE SENIORS EVERYWHERE brightened their days very much. It would have been better if they had family to come and take them on trips but many families are too busy to bother.

Judge not lest ye be judged. And found to be lacking.

[Grtcdnwolf]

:p Okay anyone who has hijacked this thread owes me a Foo Foo drink... I will give it to her and tell her its alcohol free!!

[mzloolue]

:p Okay anyone who has hijacked this thread owes me a Foo Foo drink... I will give it to her and tell her its alcohol free!!

 

Two years ago I was to meet my sister in the atrium for a pina colada right before we got off the ship.

I still had two drink tickets left and we were not driving.

 

Turned out I was standing there holding two drinks and DS had got off the ship already!

 

There was an old lady sitting there in a wheelchair waiting to be collected and I asked her if she would like a pina colada.

 

I think it probably made her day.

[Cozzette2]

Maybe your Mother is just shy in new situations. The ship can be intimidating if you don't know where to go . If she feels uncertain about getting around and where to go then it may feel safer for her in the room.

My first time I felt the same way. Maybe check the options for the day and deliver her and pick her up from something she is interested in. Or and this is a big OR, maybe she just doesn't want to cruise. My Father, who is not grumpy finds it all too much hassel. Ask what she wants to do for Christmas. Maybe she preferrs and old fashioned family Christmas. I know this is an inconcievable thought to those of us on this board, but there are actually people who don't like to cruise, I know it is weird:eek: