How are Gay Couples treated on Straight cruises?

[Nobbi]

Although I've been on 3 cruises so far, only one was "straight". And that was the only one with my partner of 14 years. That cruise was a Dsney Cruise. And we had the best time. We were treated so well by the staff. Other folks came up to us to compliment us on our formal outfits: tails with top hats with Mickey ears! :D (Yes, we are over 15. :o )

 

We're looking forward to a Trans-Atlantic cruise with Princess. No worries about the gay factor.

[HeyFK]

You guys will have a great time - My partner and I have been on "straight" cruises with NCL and Carnival and never had any problem at all. If you find after cruising that you'd like more gay folks, though, they do have "gay-group" cruises where there are separate planned activities and a greater gay presence. My partner and I are trying this for the first time with Aquafest on the RCI Mariner this October. However, I have always had a great time on ordinary cruises and found many great, friendly folks. After all, segregating ourselves will never gain the respect our relationships deserve.:)

[HeyFK]

You know, thinking about the "gay-friendliness" question brought back some really happy memories. My partner and I were married in San Francisco City Hall February 15, 2004. In February 2006 we sailed on NCL Majesty from Charleston, to celebrate our anniversary. NCL couldn't have been better - at dinner on valentines day they had special after-dinner drinks and we toasted eachother along with the other straight couples and didn't get one "look", just smiles and well-wishes. The next night when they discovered it was our anniversary too, they brought out a "Happy Anniversary" cake, sang to us, took pictures, and everything. I was very pleasantly surprised...maybe my happiness blinded me to some "looks", but I tell you honestly that after a lifetime of denying my impulse to affectionately take my partner's hand or give him a quick kiss, it was the first time I felt truly at ease in a place that wasn't known strictly as "gay" or "gay-friendly" :)

[Schplinky]

You guys will have a great time - My partner and I have been on "straight" cruises with NCL and Carnival and never had any problem at all. If you find after cruising that you'd like more gay folks, though, they do have "gay-group" cruises where there are separate planned activities and a greater gay presence. My partner and I are trying this for the first time with Aquafest on the RCI Mariner this October. However, I have always had a great time on ordinary cruises and found many great, friendly folks. After all, segregating ourselves will never gain the respect our relationships deserve.:)

 

I couldn't agree with you more. We have said that if we go the gay cruise route, it will more likely be the gay group than a full-ship charter. I really hope you'll come back and post a review.

 

p.s. we loved Mariner! There are pictures and the like in my signature.

[kidznp]

We have enjoyed meeting gay couples on both of our last 2 cruises (Constellation) and would have loved to be seated with them for dinner. In both cases, they were some of the most fun and enjoyable friends we made on the ship.

[jmraggs]

We have never had a problem taking staight cruises and we now have 11 of them under our belt. We don't like the pure gay party cruises so we have always taken straight ones. Everytime we cruise we always see other gay couples on board, some friendly, some not so friendly but hey, I am not there for them. We are both early forties.

 

Actually we find the straight people treating us better and more friendly than the gay cruisers we have run into. Of course, you will probably have more freedom of expression on a gay cruise, but we don't care about that so much in public.

[Schplinky]

We have never had a problem taking staight cruises and we now have 11 of them under our belt. We don't like the pure gay party cruises so we have always taken straight ones. Everytime we cruise we always see other gay couples on board, some friendly, some not so friendly but hey, I am not there for them. We are both early forties.

 

Actually we find the straight people treating us better and more friendly than the gay cruisers we have run into. Of course, you will probably have more freedom of expression on a gay cruise, but we don't care about that so much in public.

 

We should cruise together some day! I feel the same way and we have always had good experiences in our 8 cruises. Are we a little nervous coming up to the table? Yes, but that's because they're strangers, not because we're gay and they may not be. We certainly don't hide who were are but it's not all that we are and we find we have had a lot of wide ranging conversations with folks. We had a set of conservatives on our Mariner cruise and we had wonderful conversations! The key was that they were bright and so are we [we hope] so everyone was able to express opinions without other people at the table exploding.

[Horizon Bound]

Actually we find the straight people treating us better and more friendly than the gay cruisers we have run into. Of course, you will probably have more freedom of expression on a gay cruise, but we don't care about that so much in public.

 

You couldn't have articulated my sentiments any better. We're not much on PDAs anyway, and we don't run around in heels or curlers - so we don't feel pushed to conform on straight crusies - it's just who we are (and perhaps because we're in our early 50's, we're "old school"). That said, we like to make friends with other gay couples on cruises because having that in common is a bridge, but being gay isn't enough to sustain that much beyond dinner. Similarly, straight people don't immediately bond if that's all they have in common either!

 

PS - Schplinky: great photos on your web site. Just finished reviewing them. You're a madman with the camera! ;-)

[Schplinky]

 

PS - Schplinky: great photos on your web site. Just finished reviewing them. You're a madman with the camera! ;-)

 

 

 

Thanks. I can't really take credit for them as Mike takes most of them but I do think he does a great job.

 

I agree with you about not bonding with people simply because they're gay; that's one of the things that make me who I am but not the only thing. I'm also Canadian, blue eyed, compassionate and a whole bunch of other things.

 

We don't really hold back on the pda's in public but we're not big hand-holders anyway. I will give Mike a peck on the check or a hug if I'm really having a nice time and nobody has ever reacted to that on a mainstream cruise. We've danced in the disco but nobody has ever, ever made us feel unwelcomed.

 

My hesitation at gay cruising is, frankly, the price. Spending that much more (their prices never seem to include the port or taxes) just isn't worth it to me in order to hear a bunch of dj's that all sound alike to me or to have a few "names" on the ship. For instance, the Atlantis Liberty cruise is $2237 (tax incl.) for a D1 balcony while the same balcony the week before is $1525 (taxes incl.). I'm not willing to pay 45% more for that experience but clearly someone is because they're sold out. My best wishes go with them and I do hope everyone has a nice time but it's not for me.

[d&a Delaware]

I'e been checking in on this thread since its beginning, enjoying the various posts all along, but especially those by HeyFK, jmraggs, Horizon Bound and Schplinky in the last two days. Allen and I have not taken as many cruises as you guys, but we are definitely very comfortable as a very open/out gay couple on a maintsream, straight/gay mixed cruise. We are late seating table for 8 type guys, and have enjoyed everyone we have been seated with. The comments here the last few days have really hit home -- this is the way we are comfortable leading our lives. Thanks, guys, for the positive contributions.

 

David

[kazover40]

no, we are not the "in your face" gay couple. We too, find it inappropriate to "make out" in public, gay or straight. We are just somewhat concerned about our table mates and if being two men will stand out and draw negative attention.

 

 

Can't speak for everyone, but we have had some great laughs with gay couples (young and old) both on shore and cruise holidays!

 

Just be yourselves and have a great cruise!

[jmraggs]

There appears to be a lot of people on this board we wouldn't mind cruising with as they seem like us. We are not out out, but people obvioulsy know we're gay since we are always together. Usually the question at the dinner table to us is "How long have you guys been together" or "Are you guys together", and they have always been very friendly conversations and welcoming to us. We are not all night "T" dance type of people, so these cruise are perfect for us.

 

There was one 7 night Western Carib. cruise on Navigator in 2004 where we were placed at a table of six, but the other table mates were a family of 4 (with two 14 and 17 year old children) and they were Jehovah Witnesses (I don't mean anything negative about that if that's what you are, just stating a fact). We thought we were going to be in a tense situation, but actually it turned out rather well. It turned out that we would all be joking around and laughing the entire cruise because they liked my humor. Good thing because the 7 night cruise turned into a 9 night cruise because of Hurrcane Jeanne closing the Port of Miami and we had to stay at sea two more days! Oh yeah!

 

Schplinky - We also sailed on Freedom last September 2006, what was your sail date? We sailed on September 17, 2006. Wasn't the Flow Rider great! We also did the Ice Skating.

 

We always select the 6PM seating, sometimes that's early, but we like to do the late night pizza/beer snack or midnight buffet and we find eating at 8:30PM, your just not that hungry after that. It's funny because I always bring my workout gear for the gym to burn off the extra calories, but never seem to find the time until after I get back home!

 

Anyway, back to the conversation, even the RCCL crew treats us very well and we have actually had conversations with gay crew members and have made good friends with some of them since we go on some of the same cruises over and over, and sometimes we even see them on different ships. I find that if you are friendly to people on the cruise and say hello, most of the time they are very friendly back. One good example is a RCCL crew member 27 years old and he looked like Clark Kent (young Superman). He didn't seem that friendly until I said hello and started a conversation with him. After that, when he saw us, he would always go out of his way to come over and say hello and talk very friendly with us. We look forward to seeing him again on our next cruise.

 

Even in the private Diamond Concierge lounge (you have to have at least 10 cruises for this), we have met and had conversations with all kinds of people. We have never met anyone on a cruise were they appeared to have a hang up about us being gay, and they would always look forward to us coming to the lounge and sitting by them to talk or the dinner table.

[Schplinky]

 

Schplinky - We also sailed on Freedom last September 2006, what was your sail date? We sailed on September 17, 2006. Wasn't the Flow Rider great! We also did the Ice Skating.

 

We always select the 6PM seating, sometimes that's early, but we like to do the late night pizza/beer snack or midnight buffet and we find eating at 8:30PM, your just not that hungry after that. It's funny because I always bring my workout gear for the gym to burn off the extra calories, but never seem to find the time until after I get back home!

 

 

 

We were on the day you got off! We had the corner aft on deck 7 and it was incredible! There was another gay couple I met online who had the rooms a few over from us right after us and we tried to remember to leave them our coupons but we didn't manage it.

 

We always take 6 p.m. dinner, as well. Don't like to go to bed full and I'm sure if we waited until 8:30, I would eat my arm off or get drunk on an empty stomach.

[jmraggs]

We were on deck 9 port side. We did't want to get off of the ship, 7 nights is not long enough. I hope I left enough soft serve ice cream on the pool deck for you!

[Schplinky]

I don't really have ice cream cravings so I was fine.

 

We loved Freedom and got to go on the Liberty pre-inaugural. it was a total blast and made me want to sail that one next. The sailing was mostly travel agents. It's incredible how many of them are gay! :)

[jmraggs]

I love ice cream, don't get me wrong, in am in shape and that's why I have to work out! We are going on Liberty next month, so I'll let you know how much fun we have.

[Rick-cruiser]

I've personally observed mainstream cruise prassengers treating and talking with gay passengers with just as much respect and friendliness, sometimes even in a MORE ENGAGING way, than with some of the other passengers. I think this has to do with the following:

 

Those from metropolitan cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, etc see and interact with gay people all the time... it's no big deal. So to encounter a gay person or couple on cruise ship simply allows them to the ability meet a potentially interesting and fun-inducing person who will enhance their vacation experience - regardless of their sexual orientation. They're sophisticated and open-minded enough to accept everyone for who they are, not make any pre-conceived judgments, and realize that they may actually develop a strong bond and long-term friendship with that person.

 

Those from the smaller towns and more conservative areas of the country go on a cruise for a vacation experience. They realize and expect that they may observe and partake in things they would never do at home. If they encounter a gay individual or couple on the ship, my feeling is that these people are, if anything, even MORE INTRIGUED with them than the other passengers. They say, "oh, that couple must be gay", then they see for themselves the genuine warmth, character and personalities of the individuals, rather than focusing on their orientation. This quickly dispels any preconceived negative ideas they may have had, probably surprises them, and may actually even gravitate closer towards these individuals as they partake in activities together and share common interests.

 

I know these are just generalizations, but it makes sense to me why so many gay individuals have such a great time on a mainstream cruise - meeting and interacting with many people who treat them in such a wonderful non-judgmental way.

[txflyer]

I've personally observed mainstream cruise prassengers treating and talking with gay passengers with just as much respect and friendliness, sometimes even in a MORE ENGAGING way, than with some of the other passengers. I think this has to do with the following:

 

Those from metropolitan cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, etc see and interact with gay people all the time... it's no big deal. So to encounter a gay person or couple on cruise ship simply allows them to the ability meet a potentially interesting and fun-inducing person who will enhance their vacation experience - regardless of their sexual orientation. They're sophisticated and open-minded enough to accept everyone for who they are, not make any pre-conceived judgments, and realize that they may actually develop a strong bond and long-term friendship with that person.

 

Those from the smaller towns and more conservative areas of the country go on a cruise for a vacation experience. They realize and expect that they may observe and partake in things they would never do at home. If they encounter a gay individual or couple on the ship, my feeling is that these people are, if anything, even MORE INTRIGUED with them than the other passengers. They say, "oh, that couple must be gay", then they see for themselves the genuine warmth, character and personalities of the individuals, rather than focusing on their orientation. This quickly dispels any preconceived negative ideas they may have had, probably surprises them, and may actually even gravitate closer towards these individuals as they partake in activities together and share common interests.

 

I know these are just generalizations, but it makes sense to me why so many gay individuals have such a great time on a mainstream cruise - meeting and interacting with many people who treat them in such a wonderful non-judgmental way.

 

Thanks for sharing some really insightful thoughts...I think there is a lot of validity to them.

[MattInFLL]

You know you can run into jerks anywhere, even on a cruise ship. But generally we have had nothing but great experiences on straight cruises. There are the odd moments - a DJ on QE2 was upset that only FOD wanted to dance and stay up late; a photographer on QM2 who needed to be stared down a bit about taking a formal portrait; those table mates who randomly find new seat the next night - but they are thankfully few and far between. And generally you meet so many straight couples who are going out of their way to be friendly because they think it's the hip and progressive thing to do, that it can provide humorous results. And generally the younger generation could not care less. It's like when I brought my partner home for the first time. My teenage twin neices invited all their friends over, because it was considered so cool to have a gay uncle.

 

My most memorable cruising experiences have been on straight cruises.

 

Go and have fun!

 

And remember: you can ask the maitre d' for a new table if *you* don't like *your* tablemates, too! :) Believe me 10 bucks will probably get you the most fun table in the restaurant.

[queenofhearts]

Dwight and Jason~

My partner and I have done two recent cruises and had no issues at all.

The first was a NCL Hawaiian cruise, where we knew no one is advance and we met some really great people on the ship.

At one dinner we were asked if we minded sharing a table - a bit concerned when they paired the two of us with a straight, African American couple cruising with a church group we could not have been more wrong!

On the second cruise - we met a HUGE group here on CC Roll Call board from our ship - we all hung out, we had dinner with several straight couples from all over the country...

Honestly, we had a warmer reception from these couples than some of the obviously gay couples who we saw on the ship or who we met at the FOD reception.

Have a great time.

Mark

[SunnyinMA]

My partner and I have been on several cruises and have never, ever experienced any issue's. The most I can say is this last cruise in July I caught the room steward the first afternoon and asked him to push the bed's together and he said together? I said yes together and he said the 2 of you, together and I said yes, together. He said ok after a small double take to process :-) My only small compaint is that I wish there was a check box somewhere on the form when you sign up so the Maitre 'D could get the dinner assignments better. We always end up with a large table of Mother/Adult Daughter's or single ladies cruising & looking for single guys. I'd rather be at a nice table with other married couples, straight or gay, as it's usually a bit awkward to have very little in common though in the end it usually works out. I do say if thats the only thing to complain about, life is good! So enjoy your cruise and enjoy the savings! We'd love to cruise on Olivia but it's nearly 3 times as much so we vacation several times a year on the mainstream cruises going when it's good for us, not when it's planned for everyone else.

[megr1125]

Although I've been on 3 cruises so far, only one was "straight". And that was the only one with my partner of 14 years. That cruise was a Dsney Cruise. And we had the best time. We were treated so well by the staff. Other folks came up to us to compliment us on our formal outfits: tails with top hats with Mickey ears! :D (Yes, we are over 15. :o )

 

We're looking forward to a Trans-Atlantic cruise with Princess. No worries about the gay factor.

 

Tails and mouse ears! VERY stylish!!!

[megr1125]

Hi...I think everyone should get to go on vacation and have fun and not be subjected to all the c@#%!

 

We're all part of the human race, can't we all just get along-and my mom and I wouldn't change tables or give anyone funny looks!

 

 

(trying to show support, so I hope it sounded ok!!) :D

[Eddie4Paws]

As a single, straight woman, I adore all my friends- gay or straight. One of my most memorable cruises was back a few years on Costa Cruiselines. My friend and I were seated at a table for 8 in the dining room. There were 2 elderly couples, and 2 extremely handsome guys from Holland. The older couples seemed somewhat aloof during their meal, and must have had their table assignment changed as we never saw them again. We had the best time with our new friends and we met them several times for just hanging out, drinks and dancing. When I was dancing with them, I experienced "the look" from other passengers who recognized Hanz & Franz (not their real names...lol ! ) as being gay. I guess they thought gay men don't dance with women. "Hanz and Franz" were planning on getting married while on the cruise. That night my friend and I had flowers sent to their cabin, and bought a bottle of champagne to toast them during dinner. We also had a cake sent to the table. It was a wonderful time and I was happy to have been able to celebrate their joy.

 

Two years ago I was aboard the Star Princess, that had a Bear group onboard. I befriended many of them, and learned much about the Bear lifestyle, and learned that there are different types of gay lifestyles. Again, I experienced "the looks" as I, as the only woman, got into a pool full of handsome men. (In any other situation that would have been my dream swim,a pool full of men... but not so this time...lol ! ) Other passengers were either intimidated or afraid to go into the pool. I stayed there so long, talking and laughing, that I though my skin would wrinkle up and fall off! I was invited to many "Bears Only" events on-board, and had a FABULOUS time.

 

Why is that people just can't accept a different lifestyle (any lifestyle, not only gay) and judge? Why can't they just look as a person as an individual and not place them into some category and label them? I do not understand this, and it saddens me that some people are so narrow minded. It is a blessing that each of you have found someone to share your life with and give love and support to each other.

 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :)

[aaerobear]

Four stars for you Eddie4paws. Make that 2 snaps and a circle.

 

Ed