FYI-Badly behaved children in dining rooms

[Fogfog]

As a fellow parent--food for thought here on how NOT to behave and NOT to let your children behave in the dining room

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=630298

 

Gotta agree with everything said--

 

We families need to remember that many PAX are not traveling with our children.

 

Hugs all around...

Have a safe and happy and considerate cruise.

[CC Help Michell]

A point well made, but for the most part here you are preaching to the choir. :) The parents who visit this board to post, ask, and learn are also the type who spend a lot of time figuring out how best to help their little ones have a good dining room experience that the rest of the passengers will also enjoy. Lots of threads here about using DVD players, quiet toys, coloring books, which dinner seating to choose, etc.

 

Without even reading the thread you linked (other than the original post) I can already predict that 1/3 of the replies will be "hear, hears," 1/3 will be some version of "it's my kid's vacation too, and you people are just kid haters," and 1/3 will argue that in a case like the OP stated it is the PARENTS who are somehow "deficient" either in social skills, parenting skills, or intelligence. Now I'll go see if I was right! :)

 

A little later -- okay I was PARTIALLY right -- nobody bothered defending the parents here -- and I forgot to allow for the posts saying the OP should have changed their table, or the cruiseline should have done something. ;) In my favor, though, someone actually said "preaching to the choir" in that thread!

[Fogfog]

I realize badly behaved kids come in all sizes and ages.

 

On our last cruise--some young teens wanted to hang in the adult pool. My kids didn't hang in the adult pool--because they aren;t adults...and becasue I told them -sorry-adults only ...out of respect for fellow passngers

 

I had to compain to the staff to remove the teens when after I told the teens they had to go--they told "mommy" and ignored me.

 

yes rudeness comes in all sizes and ages

 

I just don;t want my kids or us to be part of that trend..

[crusinmama06]

HAHAHAHAHA I am laughing that you posted it over here.

 

Yes I was very vocal on the original thread. And Michell IS right, you are preaching to the choir. The families on the family cruise board have the MOST WELL BEHAVED kids on the seas. :D :p

[mcfam5]

This has nothing to do with the post (although I too chimed in on the original post on the Carnival board) but I noticed your Beth Moore quote in your signature line. I love her!

 

I have done several of her studies and am currently working through her Daniel study. God has blessed her with the gift of evangelism!

 

Another (more serious) quote from Beth that I love is "As brothers and sisters in Christ it is time for us to realize there are people in the world dying for the faith and we are busy worrying about whether the restaurant we are having lunch in is too public of a place to bow our heads and ask God to bless the food."

 

God bless!

[Fogfog]

This has nothing to do with the post (although I too chimed in on the original post on the Carnival board) but I noticed your Beth Moore quote in your signature line. I love her!

 

I have done several of her studies and am currently working through her Daniel study. God has blessed her with the gift of evangelism!

 

Another (more serious) quote from Beth that I love is "As brothers and sisters in Christ it is time for us to realize there are people in the world dying for the faith and we are busy worrying about whether the restaurant we are having lunch in is too public of a place to bow our heads and ask God to bless the food."

 

God bless!

 

 

MCFAM5

B Moore is wonderful isn't she. What an annointing for teaching..with such passion.

I love that quote you posted--so true.

I will tell you we are not ashamed of our faith-and do pray before meals whereever we are...not for show-but because of thankful hearts. kwim

hugs

fogfog+

[BethCarp]

This is exactly why we chose the late dinner seating and will put our kids in the kids club during dinner. My kids are fairly well behaved but I can't expect them to sit perfectly behaved all through a fancy dinner. Especially since my 3yos new favorite thing to do at the table is fake burp. :eek:

[sandy toes]

This is exactly why we chose the late dinner seating and will put our kids in the kids club during dinner. My kids are fairly well behaved but I can't expect them to sit perfectly behaved all through a fancy dinner. Especially since my 3yos new favorite thing to do at the table is fake burp. :eek:

The last time on the Spirit, the table next to us, an adult male, maybe Dad, don't know, had a burpping contest, with 2 young boys about 6 & 8 Yrs old nightly while waiting for their food. It was really one of the most odd things we have seen/heard in the formal dining room on ANY of our cruises.

[abitaturbodog]

I wish the OP would change the title of this thread to "Badly Parented Kids Behave As Their Parents Permit Them To In Dining Room"

 

Please remember that the children behave badly because the parents allow them to!!!! It's the parent's fault, not the kids.

[CanadianTwosome]

Ha ha ha Bethcarp, and Sandy Toes... ewwwwww!!! ha ha ha

 

I agree on the title change. Children should be taught to take responsibility for their actions - but that in turn is the responsibility of their parents. We started coaching our daughter on formal dining room etiquette six months before our last cruise - and it wasn't much of a stretch from what we expect at home. I think most of it concerned additional silverware and how to tell a dessert fork from a seafood fork! ha ha ha As far as I know, there is no steak (her favorite meal) on the kid's buffet... so if she wants to eat in the dining rooms, she needs to behave accordingly - and does!

 

Sadly, I have to say that it's not always kids that are most disruptive in dining rooms, however. Poor Sandy Toes!! Imagine a grown man not only encouraging his children to burp, but joining them!! Some of the things I've seen in dining rooms, on and off ships, simply astound me. I once saw a man eating his peas from his knife!! There's always people who seem to think the world wants to see the food in their mouths as they chew, also... *shudder* I'd also like to know when people stopped learning that hats are not appropriate at the table... Of course, those are all 'silent' annoyances. Once we start getting into the noisy ones, it only gets worse! Thankfully, I've never had the misfortune of having to endure noisy children, but there have been a few loud obnoxious adults I would have liked to have escorted out!

 

I think Fogfog said it best in the closing of the first post... have a safe and happy and CONSIDERATE cruise!

[Eclipsepearl]

My girls were with us for a few of the dinners on our last cruise. The table next to us objected if our children made any noise at all.

 

First of all, they did NOT spend the whole evening with us. They ARE well behaved as any 5 & 3 year olds can be but they are not silent. Celebrity was really bad about bringing their meals out early. When I asked, the waiter would get all stroppy with me.

 

As soon as they ate, I took them to the kid's club. They didn't stay for dessert and had it there.

 

I really didn't appreciate the constant comments from the rude people at the next table. No, parents with children should not really obligated to eat at the first seating!! I think I would have considered it but we had a port-intensive cruise and the early seating would have been impossible to manage. I wasn't going to return to ship early just to eat. Also, we were with friends who refused to eat at the first seating. They actually had it changed.

 

My kids were not banging the plates or anything extreme like that BUT this was a Med cruise in August. If those people objected to children, they shouldn't have booked smack in the middle of school vacation!

 

Children laughing, or occasionally making some noise, should be tolerated!

[Cruisin' Chick]

I agree that the parents discussed in that thread were totally inconsiderate. I wouldn't even approve of teaching kids to behave that way at home during meals. We often take along paper and markers, colored pens, or just pencils (she's outgrown crayons) when we go to a restaurant to give our girl (now 10) something to do. (Tonight she wasn't interested in drawing and just conversed with us while waiting for our meals to be served. But I had the supplies ready in my purse just in case). On cruises or at restaurants, when she was little, if acted out, one of us would take her outside so she won't bother the diners. I'm sure that most of us who post here have done the same.

 

It's unfortunate that some people are this inconsiderate as then the behaving children are often looked upon with these "why are they here" looks.

[Luxuriate]

My girls were with us for a few of the dinners on our last cruise. The table next to us objected if our children made any noise at all.

 

First of all, they did NOT spend the whole evening with us. They ARE well behaved as any 5 & 3 year olds can be but they are not silent. Celebrity was really bad about bringing their meals out early. When I asked, the waiter would get all stroppy with me.

 

As soon as they ate, I took them to the kid's club. They didn't stay for dessert and had it there.

 

I really didn't appreciate the constant comments from the rude people at the next table. No, parents with children should not really obligated to eat at the first seating!! I think I would have considered it but we had a port-intensive cruise and the early seating would have been impossible to manage. I wasn't going to return to ship early just to eat. Also, we were with friends who refused to eat at the first seating. They actually had it changed.

 

My kids were not banging the plates or anything extreme like that BUT this was a Med cruise in August. If those people objected to children, they shouldn't have booked smack in the middle of school vacation!

 

Children laughing, or occasionally making some noise, should be tolerated!

 

I totally agree with this post. Children are children. If they are rude then they should be taken away from the scene (as has happened many times at restaurants for us). But just talking, laughing, joking, in kid pitch is no reason to leave. How is a child ever going to learn how to behave in certain situations if they are constantly coddled into "child-friendly" environments?

 

Maybe I have more tolerance now that I have a toddler. I do have to say that I don't ever remember (pre-kid) being offended or disrupted by kids in a restaurant before. Hubby, on the other hand, says he fully remembers not liking being sat next to kids.

 

Cheryl

[Fogfog]

My girls were with us for a few of the dinners on our last cruise. The table next to us objected if our children made any noise at all.

 

First of all, they did NOT spend the whole evening with us. They ARE well behaved as any 5 & 3 year olds can be but they are not silent. Celebrity was really bad about bringing their meals out early. When I asked, the waiter would get all stroppy with me.

 

As soon as they ate, I took them to the kid's club. They didn't stay for dessert and had it there.

 

I really didn't appreciate the constant comments from the rude people at the next table. No, parents with children should not really obligated to eat at the first seating!! I think I would have considered it but we had a port-intensive cruise and the early seating would have been impossible to manage. I wasn't going to return to ship early just to eat. Also, we were with friends who refused to eat at the first seating. They actually had it changed.

 

My kids were not banging the plates or anything extreme like that BUT this was a Med cruise in August. If those people objected to children, they shouldn't have booked smack in the middle of school vacation!

 

Children laughing, or occasionally making some noise, should be tolerated!

 

 

Well put E.Pearl..

 

Ever notice really LOUD adults who are drunk and obnoxious--now thats BAD too!

 

I don't subscribe to the seen and not heard philosophy--but do think a certain level of self control and consideration for other peeps is imporatant..on or off a ship.

 

here to hoping that our our Christmas vacation there are no Scrooges' nor kids who deserve coal !

 

LOL

[Fogfog]

My girls were with us for a few of the dinners on our last cruise. The table next to us objected if our children made any noise at all.

 

First of all, they did NOT spend the whole evening with us. They ARE well behaved as any 5 & 3 year olds can be but they are not silent. Celebrity was really bad about bringing their meals out early. When I asked, the waiter would get all stroppy with me.

 

As soon as they ate, I took them to the kid's club. They didn't stay for dessert and had it there.

 

I really didn't appreciate the constant comments from the rude people at the next table. No, parents with children should not really obligated to eat at the first seating!! I think I would have considered it but we had a port-intensive cruise and the early seating would have been impossible to manage. I wasn't going to return to ship early just to eat. Also, we were with friends who refused to eat at the first seating. They actually had it changed.

 

My kids were not banging the plates or anything extreme like that BUT this was a Med cruise in August. If those people objected to children, they shouldn't have booked smack in the middle of school vacation!

 

Children laughing, or occasionally making some noise, should be tolerated!

.... will this change the title?

I agree but don't know how-if possible-to make that happen

;o0

[abitaturbodog]

Thankfully, I've never had the misfortune of having to endure noisy children, but there have been a few loud obnoxious adults I would have liked to have escorted out!

 

My thoughts exactly. I've seen many, many more adults behaving badly on my cruises than children---and they're usually the oldest passengers! It's been my experience that the older the passenger the more loud-mouthed and cranky they are.

[Onessa]

My thoughts exactly. I've seen many, many more adults behaving badly on my cruises than children---and they're usually the oldest passengers! It's been my experience that the older the passenger the more loud-mouthed and cranky they are.

 

. . . and in many cases it is the loud-mouthed, cranky adults who are making the fuss about the children - -

 

The only real issue we ever encountered with our DD was years ago -- she was 6 or 7 and had finished her meal. After the wait staff had cleared her plate, she took out a book and started to read. Mrs LOUD who had been entertaining her tablemates at an ajoining table with her life's story (at maximum volume, punctuated by very loud laughing - HER's at her own jokes) -- mustters to her tablemates about "kids these days!" and "in my day" and finally turns around in her seat an informs my daughter that "reading at the table is RUDE!".

 

DD started to quietly cry -- I, my husband and our tablemates were stunned, but fortunately a woman at a third table addressed Mrs. Loud to tell her that "Ms Manners has stated that correcting someone else's manners is the most rude thing anyone could do" and then addressed my daughter to assure her that she was just fine with her reading at the table -- everyone else around burst into applause. Our waiter brought my daughter a dish of ice cream with extra sprinkles and stooped down to talk with her for quite some time. Mrs. Loud did not return to the dining room for the remainder of the cruise.

 

DD just turned 12YO and no longer reads at the table - but instead joins into conversation. She will not join us every night for dinner in the dining room but will for a few nights and will enjoy herself and behave quite nicely. We just need to give our kids some time to develop and work with them each step of the way. Give them opportunities to succeed -- if that means a DVD or gameboy or book at the table for a prescribed period of time, go for it. If they can make it through 1/3 of dinner without it, celebrate that 1/3 and give them an "out" for the remaining time -- as long as they do not disturb others (with the exclusion of maybe Mrs. Loud) and learn that Mom and Dad have needs too, and that dinner doesn't need to be painful -- then it is a lesson that will serve them well.