HELP! Addicted to Cruising, DW Not

[Dr_DNA]

I'm absolutely addicted to cruising but my lovely wife is not. We went on our first cruise at the end of September and I was ready to go on another the day we got back. My DW had a great time, but she's not as crazy about going on another anytime soon. I've found several cruises that are well within our price range and have great itineraries. Everytime I bring it up though, she just rolls her eyes at me. I know that I have a disease but I'd like to infect her with it too. Any advice?

[LAKaye]

I'm absolutely addicted to cruising but my lovely wife is not. We went on our first cruise at the end of September and I was ready to go on another the day we got back. My DW had a great time, but she's not as crazy about going on another anytime soon. I've found several cruises that are well within our price range and have great itineraries. Everytime I bring it up though, she just rolls her eyes at me. I know that I have a disease but I'd like to infect her with it too. Any advice?

 

Yes, unbelievably, there are a few folks out there that are not completely crazy (yet) about cruising. Just curious--what was your first cruise and on which ship?

 

In order to get your next cruise, you both may need to plan a standard land vacation "for her" that you both will go on together, and at the same time you could search for and book the next cruise for the two of you, which would be the "your vacation". This way things will be fair, and your wife won't feel waterlogged.

 

Good luck with the planning---it's a big part of the fun!

 

Leslie

[Scorpiorose]

compromise, compromise....it's what every good marriage is all about isn't it!!!

 

I agree with the above, go land next time then YOUR TURN - cruise after that! You could even book the cruise a year ahead and be thinking of that while you do "your time" on the land vacation!

 

I'm sad for you though.....altough my DH and I aren't that "together" on a lot of things, cruising is one thing we definately agree on.....it's the cruisin' life for us! It's hard if you don't agree on this one - how to relax!!! Stay married and get used to the idea that it wont be quite as often as you like.....perhaps, as time goes by she'll come to the "light" and see your (and everyone on these boards) point of view about cruising.

One thing is for sure however, she wont if it is forced upon her, let her come to the idea on her own, will take patience though.....good luck!:D

[TEXASMUNK]

1) Plead

 

2) Enroll in a 12 step program

 

3) Be the man of the house, demand she go with you on any and all cruises you deem necessary to re-charge your batteries in order to take on the world when not on a ship

[Scorpiorose]

.....oh....and one more point that may help things.....when you do cruise.....be sure to do the following with the money you save cruising instead of land vacations:

 

*send her to the spa - a number of times.....

*buy her "stuff" - as much as possible....

*do things her way - like don't say anything about how many "pictures" she wants to buy with the two of you dressed up....

*don't say anything when she wants to buy something-we've saved so much cruising and I'm in such a good mood when we cruise....why heck - get what you want

*be romantic.....saving money and relaxing cruise style just "brings it out in you" (tell her) :p

 

Show her with all of your actions that, ya know.......by gosh......there are advantages to cruising. Don't make it obvious, she'll put it together that it's a lot more advantageous and "fun" to cruise with you than do a land vacation. Accent the positive, she'll figure it all out, probably quicker than you may think.

[Scorpiorose]

...heck....if my husband did those things....I'd go to the moon with him....ya just gotta think like a woman to beat a woman!:p

[Silvery Seas Cruiser]

What a difficult situation! Luckily Hubby seems to like to cruise as much as I do, but we have different preferences on cruises. He loves shore excursions and I love to stay on the ship and read and relax. He loves the comedians and magicians at night and I love the big production shows. He loves to watch people dancing at Boleros and I am bored by that and hate the smoke.

 

He wants to spend hours in the gym or walking, but sleep in late and I love to get up early, see the sunrise, but go to bed early.

 

So maybe if you could find out what about cruising your wife does like and what she doesn't and then somehow work around her preferences and turnoffs. I wish you luck. I know what it is to get off a ship and want to turn right around and get back on.

[CarolinaGirl]

I have just the opposite problem -- I'm addicted to cruising but my DH doesn't like it. So I cruise every year with a friend and leave my DH home with the dog!

[petesweet]

Take her on an Alaskan cruise. That will do it!

[sandytoes03]

Let some time go by. As the weeks roll by and winter sets in maybe she'll start thinking back to the cruise and how much fun you had, and she'll want to do it again. If not, try bringing up cruises to Alaska, or Europe, or someplace that might pique her interest. Good luck!

[Mydnite]

Find a cruise that will do the things she wants, perhaps ther eis somewhere that she has always wanted to go, and as someone else said, think like a women to beat one, if my OH did all those things by Scoriprise I'd go anywhere for him as well.

 

In the mean time plan a vacatiosn on land where she wants to go, so she feels that her point of view is important, and them use the following one to convert her with all the things she would want to do that....... it's either that or divorce!

[Dr_DNA]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone; please keep them coming.

 

Leslie- Our first cruise was to Canada/New England aboard the Explorer of the Seas. We went there becasue that was a region that we were both very interested in going to, among other reason. We both had a great time and as a matter of fact, Bar Harbor (one of the ports) is where we're planning on going next fall to stay for at least a week. So, in a way, we already have our next land vacation planned. I thought a nice Caribbean cruise in 09 would go along with exactly what you're saying but haven't been able to genearate much interest.

 

Scorpiorose- I agree; pampering is key. Unfortunately, my wife is pretty pampered, as she should be. I think that she has a tough job; staying home with a 3 1/2 year old is more demanding than my job for sure. I sent her to the spa twice on our last cruise and I still am in shock over how much we spent on photos! And the watch that she oogled for days in the Jewlery store onboard is now on her wrist. I think that she definately was pampered more than when we typically take vacations.

 

Tesasmunk- Pleading can work but I'd rather she be happy about where we're going. I think that a 12 step program would be good; however, I haven't found any cruiseanonymous chapters in our area. As far as #3; I think that I like sleeping in my own bed rather than our guest bed; the perks are much better there too.

 

HeavySurf & Terri- The one thing that my wife didn't really like about the cruise isn't likely to change; she didn't like the fact that we were in port for such a short time. She would prefer to really "see" the town/area. That is one of the reasons we are going to Bar Harbor next year. Divorce- I love my wife too much- even if she isn't addicted.

 

Petesweet- Alaska sounds good to me!

 

Sandytoes3- My wife is Canadian; she loves the cold. I guess that opposites really do attract as I am a good old Texas boy that thinks the best thing to do with ice is put it into your drink.

 

Thanks again all!

[LAKaye]

Actually Doctor, it is possible that your wife may have suffered from some port-of-call brevity disappointment. It is something that isn't often discussed here on Cruise Critic. The unfortunate fact of cruising is that we are only afforded a brief taste of every port we visit. Some folks, and perhaps your wife too, are disappointed by how little time they actually get to spend in the area that they are cruising to. With the exception of the 7-night cruises to Bermuda (no longer RCI), where you get to stay there 3 days, and the Oceania trips that actually have 2 1/2 days in St. Petersburg, the whole trip can feel a bit unsettling for someone looking for a trip TO somewhere.

 

Enjoy your trip to Maine next year; but stay on top of your cruising needs. It is a good thing to book far in advance because you get your choice of staterooms and sailing dates. Also, dare I say?---book two or three different trips for 2009 in order to have possibilities lined up for the two of you. Then, as the final payment deadline draws nearer, you can decide whether to pay in full or to withdraw without penalty.

 

Smooth sailing~~

 

Leslie

[Dr_DNA]

Actually Doctor, it is possible that your wife may have suffered from some port-of-call brevity disappointment.

 

 

We're a pill happy society; is there a pill to treat this? :D

[sagiv666]

I'm absolutely addicted to cruising but my lovely wife is not. We went on our first cruise at the end of September and I was ready to go on another the day we got back. My DW had a great time, but she's not as crazy about going on another anytime soon. I've found several cruises that are well within our price range and have great itineraries. Everytime I bring it up though, she just rolls her eyes at me. I know that I have a disease but I'd like to infect her with it too. Any advice?

 

As in so many other aspects for your marriage, compromise seems to be the name of the game. The more you try to force her on a cruise, the more resistant she may become. Take her on a land vacation, which she obviously prefers, then on a cruise, which you prefer. Perhaps she will see how enjoyable a cruise can be, and that it gives you the opportunity to see many different destinations without changing hotels, extra flights -- in short, with all meals and entertainment, you get a lot for the price you initially pay.

We spent the month of September in Alaska. For the first two weeks, we took a land tour then spent time on our own in several cities; we finished our vacation with a 14-night cruise on the Radiance. On land we lived out of our luggage, as we changed hotels every few days; on the cruise, we had the chance to relax and unpack. The difference is like night and day, and if you can afford it, a cruisetour is not only a compromise, it is a good way to compare your different preferences for vacationing.

By the way, did she have a bad experience when you cruised? There are ways to combat seasickness, etc. if reasons such as this explain her lack of enthusiasm for cruising.

Best of luck

[TwoTravelin]

The one thing that my wife didn't really like about the cruise isn't likely to change; she didn't like the fact that we were in port for such a short time. She would prefer to really "see" the town/area.

 

Dr, Here is the key... take her on a cruise where the debarkation/embarkation is a destiny in itself. Many cruises leave in cities that are worth exploring, i.e. San Juan, Vancouver... Tack on a few days pre- or post cruise and she will love it!

[Mydnite]

If the issue is not being in port very long maybe you could look at flying (traveling) out to somewhere to get on the cruise, and staying there for few days first, and then trying to find an itinaray where you stay longer. There are a few cruuses to the Bahamas where you are there a couple of days with an overnight stay.

[watsor1]

If anybody else suggested this I must have missed it. My suggestion???

 

Leave her at home and go cruising.

 

Since you are ready to spend the money anyway, see if you can get a break on a single supplement.

 

Have fun!!!

[KeywestK]

Dr....You got some great responses to your dilemna. My take on it is very simple. Since you live in PA, where winters can be miserable and dreary, why not offer to treat DW with a cruise to some wonderful tropical climate to break up the winter doldrums? By February, those of us in the north are more than ready to "run away from home" for some warmth and sunshine. Good luck!

 

Karen

[bluecruisin]

If your wife likes the cold weather then I agree with the Alaska cruise suggestion. Or.. maybe you could combine a 3 or 4 night cruise with a few days before or after on land near your depature port. Good luck!

[sagiv666]

Take her on an Alaskan cruise. That will do it!

 

Great cruise! And if you are able, make it a cruise tour. A cruise tour combines a land tour with a cruise. If you do this, take the land portion first (this was recommended by the leader of the land tour we took in Alaska before we cruised to Alaska on the Radiance.; and your other half will see the difference between running around on land and resting on board ship -- relaxed and pampered even if you choose land excursions.:)

[Mike & Sue]

Get a new wife ;)