Happy ks Posted December 21, 2007 #26 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Geez, I got so tied up in my response to that post I forgot what I originally intended to state. My way of dealing with anyone on an airplane works great for me. I take my own headphones with my own DVD/Ipod and tune everyone out :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triciaminkc Posted December 21, 2007 #27 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I have a close friend that has a HORRIBLE son! I know that it is her fault. This kid is in kindergarten and he screams at her and other, kicks her, hits her and so on! Last summer he was in "time out" and she was holding him on her lap (we were at baseball practice for our older sons) and I walked up and sat down. I looked over at him and he had a baseball in his hand. I was maybe 2 feet away. It took him about 2 seconds to crank back and heave that baseball at my face. Lucky for me I have quick reflexes and I was able to deflect it. His mother hardly did anything! OMG what is wrong with people??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onessa Posted December 21, 2007 #28 Share Posted December 21, 2007 ... Very well said Happy! If there was more "acting and less "reacting" -- this world would be a much better place in which to live! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianTwosome Posted December 21, 2007 #29 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I recently had a 3.5 hour flight seated in the same row with a mother and pre-school girl. For most of the flight the child screamed 'shut up' at her mother. If anyone tried to talk to the mother the child told that person to 'shut up' as well. The child learned that somewhere! She didn't dream up doing it. The mother never tried to talk to her or correct her. I felt sorry for the child, but also sorry for all of us who had a less than enjoyable flight because of that child and mother. I agree. Kids are born as 'clean slates' and while some have 'easier' personalities than others, they have to hear a phrase like 'shut up' in order to repeat it. Based on your description, I have to wonder who else in the home might be saying 'shut up' to the mother... rather than being neglectful of her child, she may just have been conditioned to take abuse... :( With regard to the language, I am always astounded by parents who have no qualms about using 'colorful' language around their kids, and then get angry with them for even milder infractions (parent says 'f***' and yells at the child for saying 's**t' for instance). I don't feel it's any of my business to tell an adult how to speak, mind you, but of course in our home, we have rules and we expect people to follow them. What was funny was that after years of conditioning, all of our friends had learned not to swear in front of our daughter... but then we bought a parrot! The same people who had no problem at all keeping their language clean when my daughter was around would suddenly turn into sailors when she wasn't... and we had to explain to them that the rule stands all the time. Sitting down with my child and discussing foul language is one thing... but I don't ever want to have to try to 'untrain' my parrot if it starts swearing!! I'm very happy to say, also, that the most negative phrase he says is 'OW! George, NO!' ha ha ha :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruisin' Chick Posted December 22, 2007 #30 Share Posted December 22, 2007 A month ago I was at a kid's birthday party and witnessed one girl (just turned 11, I think) sass back at her father when he came to pick her up. I don't think it was a playful sass, but intentional. And I'm not surprised because in the couple of years since my girl and this one were in the same class, I've seen her in action, lying and tattletailing (on things that didn't concern her). Just about every time I was helping out in that class, she would be checking out what other kids (or even me) were doing, instead of concentrating on the teacher. My girl disliked her then (she would try to not let her be around her friends), but now just feels sorry for her. Sometimes parents aren't doing the best for their kids if they don't teach them values as well as ways to be a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianTwosome Posted December 22, 2007 #31 Share Posted December 22, 2007 I agree. Leniency on rude behaviour is no favour to a child. I can remember a few situations with our daughter that were actually quite cute at the time, but my husband and I would just give each other 'that' look and then say after, 'Man, that was cute. It sure wouldn't have been in a couple of years, though!' A child's behaviour can go very quickly - over just a few months sometimes - from 'cute' to 'precocious' to 'naughty' to 'downright rude'... or worse. I also have some feelings about the influence of television shows like 'The Simpsons' and 'South Park'... but that's an entirely different thread on an entirely different board!! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebeccalouise Posted December 22, 2007 #32 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Parenting is one of those "taboo" issues. Everyone probably thinks they are doing the right thing by their kids. Most kids I have encountered on cruises have been great. In fact, no one kid stands out in my head as misbehaving. The thing that I think is important and that most parents seem to understand is that little ones get over stimulated and it is a good idea to maintain the same routine on vacation as at home- set meal times, set nap times, etc. That way they are happy at dinner, etc. So far so good- cruise people traveling with children have been very polite and I have not had any bad experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sky Sweet Posted December 22, 2007 #33 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Parenting is one of those "taboo" issues. Everyone probably thinks they are doing the right thing by their kids. Most kids I have encountered on cruises have been great. In fact, no one kid stands out in my head as misbehaving. The thing that I think is important and that most parents seem to understand is that little ones get over stimulated and it is a good idea to maintain the same routine on vacation as at home- set meal times, set nap times, etc. That way they are happy at dinner, etc. So far so good- cruise people traveling with children have been very polite and I have not had any bad experiences. Hi RebeccaLouise :) I agree with you about routines. When I was raising my daughter I planned my activities around her nap schedule, and my daughter is now trying to do the same with her baby. For example, during our three generation family cruise, our grandchild took a nap in their cabin before getting off the ship in Saint Maartin, then they came back to the ship for her nap, and got off the ship again after the baby's nap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larronry Posted December 23, 2007 #34 Share Posted December 23, 2007 I just think parents get so used to how their kids sound, they actually cannot hear it when their kids are screaming or misbehaving. I think part of this is parent choice. It must be. My son tantrums all the time yet I am certainly aware of it and can hear it and don't choose to tune it out (No matter how much I want to). I spent a lot of the last week walking out of the dining room, buffet area, and shows because my son got loud or had a tantrum. Now the funny part is that it was my tablemates who told me to ignore and let him scream. :eek: Then again maybe they thought it would get us our food since we had the slowest waiter on the ship. Now I did use a DVD player and usually my son had his back to a wall, but it depended on whether the highchair was waiting for us (usually not) and where they placed it, but although he won't keep headphones on I know there was no way anyone heard his DVD except him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdmike Posted December 29, 2007 #35 Share Posted December 29, 2007 What really bothers me isn't the noise, crying, etc...it's people being inconsiderate. I'm sure I would be more angry at the mom not doing anything about the loud DVD player than I would the kids for being loud with it. Same applies for people that are inconsiderate while driving, talking on cell phones, smoking, etc. It's very easy for someone to talk on a cell phone without bothering others. I do it all the time. Same with smoking. While I'm anti-smoke, I believe people should be allowed to kill themselves in their own way :p as long as they are considerate about it. You get the idea. To me it's about being aware and considerate of others. If a parent is trying, I will give them all the benefit in the WORLD, and even pitch in to help when I can. I have 3 kids of my own, so I've been there! Problem is, way too many people either just don't care about others, or are oblivious to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianTwosome Posted December 29, 2007 #36 Share Posted December 29, 2007 What really bothers me isn't the noise, crying, etc...it's people being inconsiderate. I'm sure I would be more angry at the mom not doing anything about the loud DVD player than I would the kids for being loud with it. Same applies for people that are inconsiderate while driving, talking on cell phones, smoking, etc. It's very easy for someone to talk on a cell phone without bothering others. I do it all the time. Same with smoking. While I'm anti-smoke, I believe people should be allowed to kill themselves in their own way :p as long as they are considerate about it. You get the idea. To me it's about being aware and considerate of others. If a parent is trying, I will give them all the benefit in the WORLD, and even pitch in to help when I can. I have 3 kids of my own, so I've been there! Problem is, way too many people either just don't care about others, or are oblivious to them. I couldn't agree more!!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Host Jacquelyn Posted January 1, 2008 #37 Share Posted January 1, 2008 On our recent flight, we were sitting right across from a couple with a young child watching a DVD without headphones. I shot the husband a look, and the hedphones came out moments later. Reading your story, I am very grateful that was all that was required! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lagbunch8 Posted January 1, 2008 #38 Share Posted January 1, 2008 OH MY GAWD! Your husband is a saint. I think my first reaction would have been lethal--mental patient or not. That is terrible that no one even asked if you were OK. It might be a good idea to find out who that woman was and why she was left alone in public. Missing hair? yikes!! We joke about the Walmart clientèle...yet, I keep going back there for the low prices. lol! hate to break it to ya but, you are one of those "Walmart clientele" But, let me guess you are somehow better than the other shoppers right? lol. Something tells me that everyone is there for the low prices not for social hour. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubegoddess Posted January 1, 2008 #39 Share Posted January 1, 2008 OH MY GAWD! Your husband is a saint. I think my first reaction would have been lethal--mental patient or not. That is terrible that no one even asked if you were OK. It might be a good idea to find out who that woman was and why she was left alone in public. Missing hair? yikes!! We joke about the Walmart clientèle...yet, I keep going back there for the low prices. Whoa. I just have to say that clearly this woman was distressed- and not a mental patient, but a person with a psychiatric illness. And yes, god forbid, people with psychiatric illnesses are alowed out in public. Even alone. This was an unfortunate incident, but one that could be used as a teachable moment- a moment to teach children that people have different kinds of illnesses and to not be afraid of people like this, etc. etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubegoddess Posted January 1, 2008 #40 Share Posted January 1, 2008 double post. sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAO Posted January 1, 2008 #41 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I know a woman (with whom I am no longer friends) who never disciplines her daughter, 8, because she doesn't want her to have self-esteem issues. She wants her to have a happy, positive life. Now, this chid is an absolute spoiled brat and the most unpleasant child to be around. Example - 2 years ago she was at my daughter's birthday party. This girl sat there the entire time saying to anyone that would listen "this is stupid", "I don't want to do that". And the mother didn't utter a peep. Values are very much missing in that house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianTwosome Posted January 1, 2008 #42 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Whoa. I just have to say that clearly this woman was distressed- and not a mental patient, but a person with a psychiatric illness. And yes, god forbid, people with psychiatric illnesses are alowed out in public. Even alone. This was an unfortunate incident, but one that could be used as a teachable moment- a moment to teach children that people have different kinds of illnesses and to not be afraid of people like this, etc. etc. I understand your point, but the child in this particular incident was kicked in the head. I doubt she learned not to be afraid of people 'like this', and I think it would be a pretty difficult thing to convince her of if this was the experience I expected her to learn from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianTwosome Posted January 1, 2008 #43 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I know a woman (with whom I am no longer friends) who never disciplines her daughter, 8, because she doesn't want her to have self-esteem issues. She wants her to have a happy, positive life. Now, this chid is an absolute spoiled brat and the most unpleasant child to be around. Example - 2 years ago she was at my daughter's birthday party. This girl sat there the entire time saying to anyone that would listen "this is stupid", "I don't want to do that". And the mother didn't utter a peep. Values are very much missing in that house. I agree. My mother taught home ec, and for the last few years she taught (before they phased it out for the grade level), she was instructed to give the kids 'passing' grades. They thought it would be harmful to their self esteem if they didn't pass a class as 'easy' as home ec, apparently. Personally, I think being handed a pass when you know you don't deserve one has a lot more negative impact on someone's self esteem - knowing that someone has to give you a 'charity grade' because you're not otherwise good enough. (at least this is how I imagine some kids who already believe they aren't 'good enough' may see it) I don't think it does anyone any good to always get what they want and to get away with behaviour that is inappropriate. I've met too many kids who behave the way you describe, and too many parents who condone it. As long as a child's behaviour is addressed as inappropriate, and not the child, there is no reason their self esteem should be affected at all. It might improve if they feel good about learning a 'better' way to behave, mind you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruisin' Chick Posted January 2, 2008 #44 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I know a woman (with whom I am no longer friends) who never disciplines her daughter, 8, because she doesn't want her to have self-esteem issues. She wants her to have a happy, positive life. Now, this chid is an absolute spoiled brat and the most unpleasant child to be around. Example - 2 years ago she was at my daughter's birthday party. This girl sat there the entire time saying to anyone that would listen "this is stupid", "I don't want to do that". And the mother didn't utter a peep. Values are very much missing in that house. Very counterproductive, isn't it? She's going to have self-esteem issues when other kids don't want to be around her because of her attitude. I keep telling my girl that when some girls act bossy in high school (the ones who are acting this way in grade school and don't change), they're going to find that most girls won't hang with them, unless they have low esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knitdiva Posted January 4, 2008 #45 Share Posted January 4, 2008 My son was 2 years old when he went on his first cruise. Yes he had the DVD player, no you couldn't hear the sound unless you were 2 inches from the screen. On the cruise, we had a wonderful time and he "charmed" many passengers and staff. The problem was the evenings. I will not leave him with an unknown babysitter since he has severe allergies(meaning life-threatening; not sneezing-watery eyes kind)and asthma. So the only way for us to enjoy our evenings was to take him to the Promenade deck before and after dinner so he could run around then we would put him in the stroller to walk around the ship and see the shows. He was very quiet. The catch is that he looks older than his age (way taller and bigger) and he had his pacifier! For him, this was bedtime and he was still using the paci when we went on the cruise. You have no idea how many "looks" we got, sighs, etc! But the worst was that on 3 different occasions people we didn't know actually took the pacifier out of his mouth and told him he was too old for that. One even commented to us to ditch the stroller cause we were making him lazy!! (Try carrying a sleepy 40 pound toddler around. I did. For 30 minutes, walking in the streets of San Juan! We ended up buying a stroller in St-Thomas (but that's a different cruise)). I don't get it; he was having a good time, we were having a good time and he wasn't bothering anyone. Some people will tell us to leave him at home or better yet stay home with him (until what?when?). He has traveled with us numerous times and we would do it again. Actually we are doing it again tomorrow going to Disney with my in-laws. 13 people (including 5 preschoolers) in one huge house. Can't wait! My son is now almost 4 but looks more like a 6 year old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knitdiva Posted January 4, 2008 #46 Share Posted January 4, 2008 My brother went to a carribean island last fall with his wife and 2 kids. His 18 month old daugther was not feeling well the whole week, not sleeping at night and not wanting to have sunscreen put on her and didn't want to even touch sand. She was screaming her head off the whole 3 hour flight back home. My sister in-law took her to the bathroom to hide for a while. No pain medicine would help. Turned out she had chickenpox!!! Can you imagine being in the sand and being rubbed down with sunscreen numerous times a day when you hitch all over!!! She had a few skin lesions that they thought were regular mosquitoe bites. When they finally got home she was covered with them. I know what you're thinking, what about all the passengers in the plane? The airline was notified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheriNtexas Posted January 4, 2008 #47 Share Posted January 4, 2008 What an interesting topic! As I type this, my 17 year old daughter's friend, who has a son nearly 2 years old, has been staying with us for a few days. This child's behavior is AWFUL!! He hits, kicks, slaps, and she does nothing while he does this-or she will say, "don't do that" but does nothing to make him stop!! He came over to my daughter a few hours ago, who was sitting on the floor playing with my grandbaby, and he just slapped her!! This girl said nothing to the child to make him stop, and finally I got angry and told my daughter, "DON'T let him hit you like that"!! I feel very sorry for this child because his mother is SO young and seems to have NO desire, or knowledge, to discipline this child, and i fear that his behavior will only get worse as he gets older. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheriNtexas Posted January 4, 2008 #48 Share Posted January 4, 2008 But the worst was that on 3 different occasions people we didn't know actually took the pacifier out of his mouth and told him he was too old for that. How incredibly RUDE of people to actually take the paci out of his mouth!!:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAO Posted January 4, 2008 #49 Share Posted January 4, 2008 If anyone ever removed one of my child's possessions because they thought he or she was "too old" for it, or any other reason, that could easily be one of the last things they did. How unbelievably rude. Reminds me of the time we were in a store and I was talking to the salesperson. My daughter was twisting her hair around her finger. The salesperson actually SLAPPED my daughter's hand away from her hair, saying she would ruin her hair. I absolutely flipped. Oh yeah, I had a little talk with her manager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dforeigner Posted January 4, 2008 #50 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I know a woman (with whom I am no longer friends) who never disciplines her daughter, 8, because she doesn't want her to have self-esteem issues. She wants her to have a happy, positive life. Now, this chid is an absolute spoiled brat and the most unpleasant child to be around. Example - 2 years ago she was at my daughter's birthday party. This girl sat there the entire time saying to anyone that would listen "this is stupid", "I don't want to do that". And the mother didn't utter a peep. Values are very much missing in that house. And when she grows up will end up like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, you get the picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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