Dad needs help

[CaribbeanCrush]

My daughter and her husband got married a little over a year ago in a small, quick wedding because he had just found out that he was being deployed to Iraq.

They decided that we would have a bigger, nicer wedding/vow renewal when he returned. He will be back in May, but we planned the cruise wedding for this coming December.

Today she said [my paraphrase] that she is having trouble getting excited about it, because so much of the energy right now is going into the planning on what is (and I have to agree with her) just cruise stuff, and not wedding stuff. She says [her words] that if feels more like just a family vacation than a wedding.

Is there anything that I can do or say to make her feel differently. I did try to explain to her that the real wedding "planning" type stuff was coming. We have done the invites and all that. Of course because it is on a ship we don't have to pick a venue and the reception will all be handled by the ship.

 

So, I would appreciate any help.

 

Thanks:)

[rosebud6362]

Some wedding stuff she can still do (even though it's on a cruise):

1. Wedding programs

2. Wedding Favors

3. Pick out music for reception/traditional dances

4. Gift bags

5. Pick out cake pics she might want her cake to look like

6. Decide on hair/make-up

7. Maybe she can get some spa stuff done like facials

8. Buy dress, shoes, purse, veil, jewelry, undergarments, etc for wedding day

 

 

I know what she feels like though. I kinda felt like that too. I had friends who were planning their weddings at the time time as me and they were going to tastings and meetings with musicians, photographers and various food vendors. I didnt get to do that because it's all provided by the cruise.

[Elationismyship]

Throw her a shower, a quick little surprise shower even with just a few people. That should get her in the mood.

[CaribbeanCrush]

Thanks for the suggestions and help. :)

[msuash]

I know how she feels as well! I have felt that way too. My brother is getting married three months prior to me and is having a big church wedding. And I was starting to feel like I didnt get to do any of the planning myself.

 

But a couple things that got me feeling better were..

 

-going with my bridesmaids to pick out bm dresses.

-creating the bridesmaids bouquets ourselfs. Getting to go out and be crafty with silk flowers and ribbons was a lot of fun.

-deciding which songs to be the first dance and father daughter dance at the little reception on the boat.

-wedding favors

-gifts for the wedding party.

-invitations...

 

theres a lot of little things (like some of the other girls suggestions too) that will make her feel more involved!

 

:)

[6rugrats]

It's also over a year away, so that may be part of the problem. Not having her husband there would be hard, too.

 

Best wishes to them; my son is scheduled to deploy in a couple of months. Thanks your SIL for me!

[cigal]

letssoar,

 

Watch the paper for a Bridal Fair or some similar type of extravaganza for brides-to-be. Typically they are held in the spring in major cities, usually at a convention center or large hotel such as the Hilton or Hyatt. They are offered as a way to bring brides to one location where they can meet a wide variety of vendors. Many of the wedding cake vendors, for example, offer small tastes of cake. Caterers will have food samples, and there will be florists with sample boquets. This will give her the opportunity to sample food and cake and might help alleviate any feelings of being left out of what her friends are doing. She could even take friends with her, and make kind of a party out of it! If she gets really lucky, her husband might be back in time to go to one with her.:)

She may get ideas about flowers, hair, makeup, etc., and they will make her feel special as a bride-to-be! If nothing else, it might help her feel more excited about an event that is still a ways away. The cost is nominal - $5.00 - $10.00 per person.

 

Also - This "Honeymoon and Wedding" Forum is the perfect place for her. The ladies here are really sweet and tons of fun! They will help her pass the time with stories of their weddings/honeymoons/vow renewals, as well as reviews of the ship on which she is going. There are probably several that will be counting down to December with her.

 

Those are my thoughts. I hope they help. I feel for her - my hubby and I went through 3 six-month deployments while we were dating and engaged. I am thankful he was never in Iraq; that must be especially difficult! It takes a special person to be in the military, but it also takes special people to deal with the military lifestyle, so I applaud them both.

Thank your SIL for his service to our country and thank your daughter for supporting him - they have my utmost gratitude!!:)

And what an awesome dad you are for caring so much for them to come on here and try to help them. Kudo's to you also.:)

 

Best wishes to you all for a wonderful future,

Alice

[sondrad]

I just have to say that you are a great dad!

[Prinycesa07]

The thing that got me excited and in the wedding mood right away was trying on dresses!

[NurseBeth]

I must admit at first I felt the same way...kind of like I was missing out....but once I became active on this forum (as well as realistically looked at how much money would be SAVED by having a cruise wedding) it was a lot easier to get into the spirit of things!

 

So many of the girls on here have such amazing ideas, and just extra tip, tricks, and insight! And I must agree with the others....what a great father you are for showing your concern and wanting her to feel excited about the wedding!

[CaribbeanCrush]

I will pass on ALL these ideas. I really appreciate your help.