Probably a stupid question, but...

[gkrnjlr]

Why is it that so many people despise taking cruises with children onboard?

 

I do realize that there are some slack parents in the world that don't pay attention and care what their kids do and therefore can be bothersome to others, BUT, for those of us that DO care about what our child(ren) do....we still have to put up with the attitude and lack of friendliness ???? for a lack of better terms.

 

We have a roll call for our cruise that we're going on and I've found that I'm the only one posting that we're bringing a child. I'm not getting any warm fuzzies from majority of them......

 

Just because we're not the "party crowd" (which we never were before kids, either!) we're not feeling as welcomed.

 

Just what is SO wrong with kids cruising?

[CeleBrat]

Some people just don't like kids. Plain and simple. I guess they have long-since forgotten that they were once kids too...

 

CeleBrat

[CanadianTwosome]

I think maybe you're talking about two different things. The others on your roll call may not be child haters so much as they're just focused on what they're looking forward to - socializing. If they're not travelling with kids, they may just think they have nothing to talk to you about since they expect to be doing different things... and based on your comments about not being into the partying, they may well be right. If they're all planning how best to spend their evenings and what drinks they'll be mixing in their cabins, then you may be taking it personally when really all it is is a lacking of things in common. I'm sure you'll still be welcome at the meet and greet.

 

I had a friend once who used to tell me how her husband thought my husband was a snob. They hadn't really had that many opportunities to spend much time together, so when I found out that we would both be attending a social event where there would be lots of social time, I told her that I was sure her husband would find that mine really is a nice guy. I told her that as long as they could talk about computers or motorcycles they were sure to find lots to talk about and she said, 'Oh, well my husband isn't interested in those things.' ha ha ha ha ha After a few more tries, I said, 'Oh... so it's not so much that my husband is a snob, but the two of them just have absolutely nothing in common...' It happens. They finally realized that if they talked about how great their wives were they got along great!! ha ha ha

 

Anyway, there definitely ARE kid haters around, but don't jump to conclusions about your fellow roll callers. If one of them posts that they're sorry to hear you're bringing a 'brat' along, then you've probably found one, but until then, you've just probably wound up in a group that you don't have a lot in common with... other than the joy of cruising!

[Toni12345]

Why is it that so many people despise taking cruises with children onboard?

 

I do realize that there are some slack parents in the world that don't pay attention and care what their kids do and therefore can be bothersome to others, BUT, for those of us that DO care about what our child(ren) do....we still have to put up with the attitude and lack of friendliness ???? for a lack of better terms.

 

We have a roll call for our cruise that we're going on and I've found that I'm the only one posting that we're bringing a child. I'm not getting any warm fuzzies from majority of them......

 

Just because we're not the "party crowd" (which we never were before kids, either!) we're not feeling as welcomed.

 

Just what is SO wrong with kids cruising?

 

I too got the same feeling, we are going on our 1st cruise ever with our 4 kids, 12, will be 9 on cruise, 7 and 18 months. I can't believe how many comments I have rec'd from people on this cc as well as people I speak to here in NC. I actually posted something the other day in response to this. My response went like this, I am 32 been married for almost 14 years. When we got pregnant the first-4th time it was by OUR choice. We don't leave our kids with anyone ever. We are a family and go on family vacations. If there are people who don't agree with me thats their choice and I feel they should cruise on cruises that accomodate their wants/needs, if they are against kids on ships I am sure they have cruises that don't have kids. I know Carnival is a family ship, they have the camp for kids and waterslides etc for kids. So I am cruising with my family! Don't let some ruin how you feel. You go and enjoy yourself.

[jkrislc]

My impression (at least from the boards) isn't that there are that many child haters out there; rather, they get annoyed with unruly children.

 

Here's my take. Many parents throw common sense to the wind and figure, "We're on vacation." As a result, they loosen the rules and allow their kids to run wild; something they would likely not do at home. And I don't think they realize that when their children aren't being supervised or monitored, they may be affecting someone else's vacation.

 

What always amazes me is the lack of supervision for some children. Given the number of people onboard, as many as 3,000 or more if you include the crew, there's got to be a good statistical chance that there's someone onboard with a questionable background (e.g., criminal) and I couldn't imagine allowing my kids, no matter what there age, go off unsupervised.

 

Just my take and the take I've always had even before children.

[KC_fn]

jkrislc is correct. People don't really hate the kids; it's the irresponsible parents of those kids. And people don't tend to notice kids who aren't causing problems; that may be the source of the frostiness from your fellow roll-callers -- they probably think that ALL kids are little hellions because that's what they notice. But you can prove them wrong once you're onboard. If your children are well-behaved and well-supervised, they will be a welcome addition to the group.

 

Or (I just thought of this) they may be thinking they'll have to "edit" if there are kids in the group; that they won't feel free to drink/smoke/tell dirty jokes if little eyes are watching. I don't know, just a thought.

[kat89447]

I can understand the frustration of some cruisers about children, I just got off a cruise with two of those type of kids. (they were my brother's). He had the attitude that he was on vacation and his wife should just watch them. The rest of the family re-educated him. lol. I on the other hand could never go on a cruise without my dd who is now 10. Where else can you go on vacation and spend real family time and see other countries or other places and not have the distractions of daily life. I love that I can tell people "sorry my cell doesn't work at sea, or that internet was really slow" and spend my days hanging on a beach or touring forts.

I do look forward to cruising with my DH someday without my DD, but that is a ways off. There are cruise lines that have itineraries and schedules that are not geared towards families with children, just as there are lines that have itineraries looking to fill their ships with those same families. For now I will stick to the ones aimed at the families, and laugh my butt off at those people that take Disney Cruises and get off complaining about those kids being everywhere.:p

[Nekochan]

I really can't understand these child bashers. They take a cruise that has high chairs, kid menus, kid programs, kid play areas on ships that advertise 'family cruising' and then complain about how kids don't belong on cruise ships.

 

It's ridiculous.

[rebeccalouise]

Many of the cruise critic members are retired and have way too much time on their hands. Your upcoming cruise, September 9th will not have many kids onboard, since school is just starting. Many people will be childless on this cruise and that is prehaps why you are getting less than a warm and fuzzy vibe.

 

Don't worry about it. You are going to have a great time. There will certainly be some kids onboard and the roll call is not reflective of this. Most busy parents don't have time to do the roll call and others, like me, don't attend the meet and greets- since they are usually scheduled at inopportune times.

[wanderingfool]

I also agree that it's the bad attitude of: "I paid for this trip and I'm not leaving when my kid starts wailing" that make responsible parents, who are respectful of others, look poor. It doesn't stop me from traveling though, both because I have a really easy going kid, and also because if he does start to be disruptive to others, I'm going to remove us from that situation and not be "that" parent.

 

What I don't get is if someone really hates kids, why don't they book on those few cruise lines who don't allow under 18s? (I actually already know why - $$$! It's far easier to book a cheap trip and complain about it later than to actually do something about it by paying the premium for peace and quiet.)

[Guest carlogesualdo]

One possible reason is that they're looking for a relaxing vacation and even the most well-behaved children like to run around and yell and do unsettling things. That's just what children do. And there are some adults who don't much care for that.

 

What I don't get is if someone really hates kids, why don't they book on those few cruise lines who don't allow under 18s? (I actually already know why - $$$! It's far easier to book a cheap trip and complain about it later than to actually do something about it by paying the premium for peace and quiet.)

 

One reason I've never been tempted to book an adults-only vacation is I have this idea that those are merely a cover for nudity and public sex and drunkenness. Frankly, I'd rather have screaming children. Maybe I belong in a group with a bunch of retirees, instead. But I haven't seen that cruise, yet. The closest I've seen is something I can't afford to pay for anyway.

[CowPrincess]

I don't hate kids. I have very little tolerance for self-absorbed, "adjourned" parents who indulge little Sally or Timmy and never demand appropriate public behaviour. This is a post I made on the Family Forum several months ago, requesting suggestions from parents on what to say/do if something similar occurred in the future. I got tons of help, and great suggestions. (thanks, everyone!!!)

 

On one cruise, my friend and I had nightmare neighbours, an extended family on each side of us, across the hall, and up and down the hall. They had about 6 cabins surrounding us. It was bad enough that they partied and yelled and screamed to each other from cabin to cabin, but the worst was the pair across the hall from us, travelling with a baby and a 2 (??) year old. It seemed pretty obvious that the whole group was pretty self-absorbed, and didn't seem to think of the effect their actions might have on others.

 

The baby was a screamer. Sigh. She started screaming before she got on board, and didn't quit. Her parents would leave the door of their cabin open, so everyone along the hall got the full delight of her screams. They would walk up and down the hallway with her, sharing the screaming with everyone. So this isn't a "can't/won't control" the kid issue. It was a "common courtesy" issue. Even my dear friend, who loves all children unconditionally, was at the end of her rope. We were woken EVERY night by this child's screaming. We complained to the Purser's desk, actually asking to be moved (and paying WHATEVER if necessary) and the Purser DID go talk to them, but that only seemed to help somewhat. We couldn't get moved -- the ship was full.

 

The other issue was with the 2 year old, who'd learned how to throw a tantrum. Because their cabin door was usually always open, the tantrum would carry on out into the hall, kicking and punching OUR door and walls, and disrupting any "quiet" time we were trying to have. The tantrums would even continue out onto a little deck that our area could access. The parents didn't do a thing, just let the kid scream, cry, kick, punch, yell and whatever. The child DID NOT make physical contact with either of us.

 

 

This one experience has made me wary of all children onboard. It doesn't mean I hate kids. I've been "burned" and now when I see children I am concerned that their parents will not be parenting, y'know? I am overjoyed when the children are well behaved :)

 

DH refuses to cruise Princess (the line this happened on) even though he wasn't with me -- it was a dear friend with whom I cruised. DH has zero tolerance for boors and people who think they are the "center of the universe", and will NOT take a chance on a Princess cruise, as the staff were not able to effectively resolve the problem.

 

My dear friend will not cruise Princess again, either. She is joining us on our next cruise, but would not commit to going until she knew for certain that it would not be a Princess ship. I'd give Princess another chance, but would have GREAT difficulty convincing my travelling companions!

[bluefintuna]

On our last cruise (Carnival) there were 2 children 2 and 4 next to us. We only heard them once saying bye bye to St. Thomas out on the balcony. We think some teenagers and twenty somethings are more of a problem than children. Guess we have been lucky on most of the many cruises taken. I don't think I would like a cruise that wasn't for all ages.

[Guest carlogesualdo]

One way to cut down on the number of children is to take cruises when they're in school. Avoid summers and spring break for sure, and probably Christmas as well. I think the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are probably very good for this as parents are avoiding taking the children out of school during this time period. Also, the weeks immediately following Christmas may be a good time as well, for the same reason. Also consider the weeks just before the end of the school year and just after the beginning of the school year, but do consider college students since their academic calendar is a bit different from those who attend k-12.

 

The ship won't be completely devoid of children during this time because there are parents who are perfectly willing to pull their kids out of school at any time of the year (I fail to understand this mentality), and there is a growing contingent of children who are home schooled and can travel any time. Plus a few who go to school year-round and don't have the regular schedule. But when there are fewer of them on the ship, there is far fewer chance of running into unruly children, well-behaved or otherwise.

[crusinmama06]

I remember Cow Princess' experience and I think I would be anti-child if I had the same one...lol. ;)

 

Leaving the door open during a child tantrum is completly selfish on the part of those parents.

 

But gkrnjlr - honestly, you won't have a problem with attitudes once you get onboard. Everyone has always been overwhelmingly friendly to my kids. We have been on NCL, Disney, RCCL and Carnival. Never have we had any really rude experiences.

 

So as long as you don't leave your door open while the child screams, you'll be fine. :p ;)

 

And frankly, if someone wants a kid FREE vacation, stay away from Carnival.

[gkrnjlr]

Thanks everyone for the input, etc. I do think I could easily be "burnt" by THOSE type of kids being around me. UGH! :eek:

 

I don't mind children. I do agree that it's the parents who feel that they're entitled to their vacation because they paid for it, blah blah blah.....but I guess I am on the total opposite end of the spectrum where we already have plans before we leave of "okay, IF we have the start of a meltdown coming.....I'll take them back to the cabin." Or something along those lines. Fortunately we didn't have ANY issues with that last time.

 

This time around we're sailing with our 9 month old daughter who is EXTREMELY happy go lucky and even when she's tired, hungry or teething - she doesn't get "ugly" or "nasty." Her brothers decided that they didn't want to cruise and will be with Grandma and Grandpa. (I am still trying to convince them otherwise!)

 

Anywho.....I'll ignore the frostiness of the other roll call members. We may or may not go to the meet and greet anyway!

 

Thanks for the input!

[PattyW]

If you are not around children on a day to day basis, even normal kids can seem crazy.

 

My parents always comment on how quiet and boring it is after the grandkids leave. If you have and enjoy the peace and quiet of a child-free life, then the chaos of having children around can come as a shock.

 

IMO, that's why people don't like kids on cruises and why they think basically all children are undisciplined hellions. They aren't - they are just being kids.

 

I honestly think there are many people on this board who think that well behaved in public means nothing less than lying on a lounge chair all day while reading and snoozing - that's not normal kid behavior.

[wrp96]

As a person without children let me say that I enjoy sailing with most children (same as I enjoy sailing with most adults). A well-behaved child is a delight to sail with and children's excitement at new experiences can be contagious.

 

The issues with children usually come because there are a few parents that do not teach their children how to behave and ruin it for the rest of the parents who have taught their children how to act in public (same as there are adults out there who forgot the manners their parents taught them). Unfortunately it is that one bad apple that people tend to remember instead of the many other wonderful kids they meet.

[JackieH]

I have learned, many people still consider a cruise like a romantic vacation more then a family vacation. We have 3 kids(14,9,4). We are going on on our 3rd cruise in Aug, and kids will be with us. We dont travel without them. For us , we are a one income family and only travel once a yr, always as a family.

People always ask "Are you taking your kids on the cruise?"

When we tell people we are going to Disney, nobody asks us that;) .

 

I know many couples who go on cruises for a romantic getaway, and feel they cant do it with their kids. I dont think there is a right or wrong answer. Its just sad at times, that some people are so against kids on a cruise. We ALWAYS cruise in AUG, we know their will be plenty of kids there;) .

 

2 yrs ago we cruised on the Carnival Valor. We were on an exursion on the bus. My youngest was just newly 2, and the lady behind was talking to her and me. She was telling me her kids were at home with the grandparents and that she had a 2 yr old as well..and talking to my youngest made her really miss her kids:( ..She even got tears in her eyes when talking to my kids, and talking about her own at home....

[twoboysforme]

:) I honestly wouldn't worry too much. The cruises my DH and I have been on...we honestly had no issues with unruly children.

This August we will be taking our 2 DS's (7 and 9) on their first cruise. I, as you worried that all would go well and that people would not look at them unfairly. Then I realized that there is no need to worry. I will expect them to behave as they do any other time in public. So there shouldn't be any issues. And if there are we will deal with them and move on :-)

[lovesublime]

I'm one of those who has previously posted here how I feel. I like kids and have no problem with children on a cruise-they don't bother me at all. Even the children who aren't behaving-they're fine by me. I AM one of those who has a problem with taking kids out of school for a cruise. Don't understand it, and think it's wrong, since 95% of the time it's just to save money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[LoveThisCruisingThing]

I don't mind children on cruises as long as their parents keep them under control and supervise them. Otherwise, it is fine. But the last thing I want on my vacation of any sort is a bunch of wild hooligans creating havoc while the parents are no where in sight.

[CanadianTwosome]

Okay, I'm one of the first to chime in on 'kid hater' threads, but I also believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, and nobody seemed willing to do that for the OP's fellow roll callers. So, I went and had a look, and from what I can tell, NOBODY is being nasty or unfriendly to the OP. At one point on the second last page, the OP states that they are feeling like the 'black sheep' on the roll call because they are travelling with a baby and not doing much of what the others are planning, and the response is 'You're not a black sheep, you're just travelling with a little lamb'. I admit that I didn't read every single page of posts (I think there are 17 so far), but there did not appear to be any 'kid hating' going on.

 

Certainly there ARE kid haters cruising - people who have it in their heads that kids = disruption, and they see it in every child. No doubt they really do feel disrupted, too, since as soon as they see a kid they get on edge and can't enjoy what they're doing because they have to 'watch the brat(s)'. I just don't think the people on this roll call fall into this category. I just think the OP was feeling like an outsider because they feel they don't have common interests with the others on their roll call.

[sailinglisa]

I am single and childless by choice. I don't hate children, in fact I really like kids! There are two kids in my life that I would take on a cruise any day - if their parents pay the way! :D

 

But I think all of us need to step back and realize that cruises are marketed to ALL segments of the population. Singles, couples, seniors, families. As a single cruiser, I have NEVER received a promo from Carnival or RCCL or NCL or Princess that shows any kids. I am being sold a certain type of cruise. Now, I know for a fact that my friends who do have kids are sent promos that have pics or lots of families and kids having fun. Guess what? Same cruise lines! If you watch the Carnival commercials, some are geared to couples and some are geared to families. As long as cruise lines market to all segments of the population, then we all are expecting what was sold to us.

 

The problems come when parents allow their kids to play Marco Polo in the hot tubs. When adults complain about kids normal playing as being disruptive. When parents put diaper clad, non-potty trained kids in the pools and hot tubs. When adults complain about well behaved kids in the dining rooms. When kids are allowed to intrude on the adult only areas. When anyone (adult or kid) disrupts people while they are trying to sleep or relax.

 

We all have to get along on a ship and that means that everyone practices good manners and respects everyone else. Kids included. Adults included. I am as appalled by a drunk adult puking in the hall as I am about kids screaming at the top of their lungs.........and my pet peeve, cannon-balling into a crowded poo - and their parents not expecting people to be upset about that.

[sailinglisa]

Dang it all......in my previous post it should be kids cannon-balling into a "pool" not "poo"! ;)