Newly 13 yr old girl on Freedom........do I give her Freedom?

[PrincessasMommy]

Hubby & I are wondering about the teen program on FOS??? It says the kids can come & go...............really? We have a daughter that will turn 13 on the ship. I want to be able to sign her in and know she is in an activity, is that possible?

 

Also, what's the age requirement for Portofino & Chops?

 

Thanks in advance for your help. :)

[crusinmama06]

She can go to Chops & Portofino now that she is 13.

 

And as far as the teen program, yes they can come and go as they please. So others have made arrangements with their kids NOT to do that. They drop the kids off at the teens center and make arrangements to meet them again at a certain time.

[travelloverontario]

Hi there...I, too, will have a 13 year old cruising. She will be part of the teen program....BUT...will NOT let her sign herself out. I don't know if I can tell them that she can't leave without me, but I will definitely tell her. If she left whenever she wanted, even though she is very responsible, I would be constantly worried about her.

Perhaps I'm a bit overprotective....or according to my daughter, very overprotective...., but I'd rather have peace of mind in knowing where she is.

[MrsPete]

BUT...will NOT let her sign herself out. I don't know if I can tell them that she can't leave without me, but I will definitely tell her.

I don't think this is an option with teens -- sign in/sign out doesn't really exist. On Mariner, the teen program was much "looser" than the younger kids' clubs. They didn't really register for the program; they just showed up for the activities that interested them.

 

I lean towards over-protective too, but I wouldn't worry about her during the day -- after dinner, of course, is another story. As long as she understands the #1 safety rule onboard (never go into someone else's cabin for any reason -- all the kids my girls met onboard must've had the same rule; they'd come to our cabin door, but none even put a toe inside), she'll be fine during the day.

[lagbunch8]

I will be sailing on the Indie with my 12 and 13 yr old DDs. The first time they leave the club without me going to pick them up will be the last time they go to the club. ;)

 

So 13 yr olds can eat at Chops? Could I try to "sneak" the 12 yr old in? or Do they check the ages? What age can they use the spa? I'm guessing they would rather get a pedi then a steak. :D

[SelectSys]

...So 13 yr olds can eat at Chops? Could I try to "sneak" the 12 yr old in? or Do they check the ages? What age can they use the spa? I'm guessing they would rather get a pedi then a steak. :D

 

Depends on the maturity of the kid. My daugher ate with us in Portofino's before she was of "legal age". Fitness center is age 16. I have seen them ask kids to leave the fitness center. I am not sure about guests purchasing spa treatments.

[CanadianTwosome]

Our daughter isn't old enough to leave the Kid's activities alone yet, so I don't have personal experience with that, but we have used walkie talkies on board when she's been in our cabin. We feel very comfortable allowing her to stay in the cabin alone in the evening, and she has contacted us on a few occasions to ask things. It's a simple matter to leave what we're doing and go to the cabin to wait for room service with her, or take her to an activity that she's changed her mind about. (we only attended one theatre performance on our last cruise, and she was along, so no chance of disruption for fellow passengers)

 

While she never contacted us from the Kid's Crew, I'm sure that it would have worked just as well if she'd wanted to leave early at any time. She carried a radio with her and was able to put it in a designated area where it was safe in the event that she had wanted to use it. I know the day is coming when we'll be cruising with her and she will have that come and go freedom, and while I can't say until it actually happens, I believe I'll be fine with it as long as she stays in contact with us and lets us know when and where she's going. :)

[NoelsCat]

We had my 13 yo SIL (yes, SIL) with us on our last cruise -- and let me start by saying that she is a VERY responsible and intelligent young adult -- but I personally would NOT feel comfortable with her being able to come and go around the ship alone. Perverts and sickos can buy cruise tickets just as easily as anyone else. Pedophiles aren't vampires, either. They can attack during the day hours just as easily as at night. As a survivor of a vicious rape as a teenager -- I can atest that any confined place full of thousands of strangers can be a dangerous situation for a lone 13 year old girl.

 

Thankfully, my wonderful MIL sees things the same way -- and there was very rarely a time that she wasn't in the company of SOMEONE in our party while navigating around the ship. On the rare occasions that she was alone, she was armed with a walkie-talkie and was taking a direct route to a location we all agreed upon. I would have been sick with worry during the cruise otherwise.

 

I know everyone has different comfort levels -- and I am certain that my experience has probably made me overprotective.

[wrp96]

They have some spa items that are geared specifically for teens, I believe it's called Y-Spa or something like that so you might want to check that out.

[luvtosing]

we just cruised for the first time on Freedom of the Seas and I also had an almost 13 year old! The other posts are correct--there really is no signing in; the kids just show up when they want and leave when they want, and there are separate rooms for 12-14 and 15-17. My daughter was not interested in the daytime activities but went to a bunch of evening programs, which were mostly dances in the teen disco Fuel and socials held in the teen room The Living Room. At the beginning of the cruise, I always brought her to the activity and collected her at the activity. There were some activities like a scavenger hunt and teen night at the Flow Rider where she was doing things in groups at different points of the ship. Towards the end of the cruise I had a greater comfort level and would allow her to come back to our cabin on her own after an activity, which was a deck or two below the teen rooms. It is all about your comfort level. In the beginning of the cruise I would not let her alone for a minute. Towards the end, I felt comfortable with her coming back to our cabin, but this was a process. Whatever you are comfortable with will absolutely work.

[PrincessasMommy]

Thank you all.

 

I am incredibly overprotective too so I will escort her to and from and leave it at that. We will bring walkie talkies too - thanks. And good to know about Portofino & Chops.

 

Kat - I am sorry about your experience. I had an experience too and now have 4 daughters and have been made fun of for being sooo overprotective of them so I wanted to see what the general consensus was here.

 

Thanks!! :)

[lagbunch8]

They have some spa items that are geared specifically for teens, I believe it's called Y-Spa or something like that so you might want to check that out.

 

Thank you. I will look into that.

[lucyddr]

There was a horrible situation on the Carnival boards several months ago regarding a teenage girl who disappeared while walking a new friend to her room. The child was found in a man's clothing, apparently drugged and/or drunk, and having been raped. This whole thing happened within a 90 minute period. So, while I don't have children (yet), I just wouldn't let my 13 yo wander on her own. As stated by others, you never know who's on that ship and what their motives may be!

[MrsPete]

We had my 13 yo SIL (yes, SIL) with us on our last cruise -- and let me start by saying that she is a VERY responsible and intelligent young adult -- but I personally would NOT feel comfortable with her being able to come and go around the ship alone. Perverts and sickos can buy cruise tickets just as easily as anyone else. Pedophiles aren't vampires, either. They can attack during the day hours just as easily as at night.

Of course you're right, but the real point is that during daylight hours other people are always around in the public areas, so a pervert-sicko is not nearly so likely to have the opportunity to strike.

 

By sticking to the pool area, the dining areas, the sports deck, the promenade, and other heavily-populated areas, encountering danger is all but impossible -- really, unless drugs were involved (and I assume we're all talking to our teens about the dangers of date-rape drugs and drinks), I don't see how anything could happen to a teen in those areas during daylight hours. Even spots like the helecoptor pad and the peek-a-boo deck are rarely uninhabited during the day. The only places I remember finding really empty during the day were the chapel and the medieval-themed nightclub; it would be wise to warn teens to avoid areas of that type.

 

Nothing is really risk-free in our world, but I guess it comes down to how much risk you're willing to accept. You can say, "None, absolutely none", but that's not realistic. There's a lot of space between "She has to be with me or escorted to the club 100% of the time" and "Oh, just do whatever you want". Finding your comfort level between those two extremes is the key.

[grandmaR]

I have been traveling with my grandchildren and my mom did the same with my children. We found the best time to travel with them was about age 12-14. So far I've only traveled with two grandsons who were 13 and turned 14 right after our trip. One of them we took an escorted bus tour, but the other one we were on NCL Jade.

 

On Jade, the teens could sign themselves in and out, but I had to register him, and give them his insurance information first. This particular teen had been on a previous cruise which required the kids to stay in center unless their parents came and got them, and both he and his parents hated that.

(His dad hated the whole cruise thing.) This is him on our excursion to Rome. He's quite big for his age - he's taller than me or his mom. He thought most of the other kids in the teen club (especially the boys) were nerds, so he was only up there to play video games. He had his own money to do this, but he had to get change in the casino, and I had to be with him or they wouldn't let him go in there. We normally ate dinner together (early) and he didn't go anywhere after that. We just came back to the stateroom. But I let him go up there by himself to shoot hoops or do the golf cage, and sometimes he ate lunch with the teen group at the hamburger bar.

 

 

I know girls are different, but when I did transatlantic crossings with my parents when I was 12 almost 13, my sister and I did not stay with our parents, nor do I remember any kind of kids clubs. (This was in 1950) I do not think my mother would have let me roam the ship as she did if she felt there was a problem because elsewhere she and my dad kept a strict watch on me because I was quite mature looking for my age. This is me with my mother and little sister in Antwerp in 1950.

 

 

 

My next trip will be next summer, and this time with a granddaughter - the sister of the first one I took. She will be 12 almost 13. My problem is that her parents both work, so I think she's pretty much allowed to do whatever. I was thinking of the ship as a good place for her to be with other teens. She's coming to stay with us for a couple of days at the end of this week, so I will see how it goes.

[PrincessasMommy]

Grandma R - Love your pics and your grandmotherly advice! :)

 

Thank you!

[todareistodo]

from my experience as long as your daughter stays with a group of other kids she wont have a problem. I've always roamed with big groups and NEVER have run into trouble, but a friend who was with one other person was put into a bad situation with a aggressive drunk man.

so my advice is give freedom, but make sure she stays with a group.

[Onessa]

Kids need opportunities to learn responsible behavior. A cruise is an opportunity to have your kid practice some of these important life lessons.

 

It is not an "all or nothing" experience -- its not like your choices are "never letting your child out of your sight" versus "teens run wild". While the teen clubs do not have any sort of sign-in/sign-out options - YOU can set up rules with your kid.

 

On our last cruise with our DD (then 12YO), we had rules for the family. We had specific checkin times/places/methods, we had processes by which we could all keep each other informed of where we were, DD went to no one elses' cabin and allowed no one else in our cabin without specific permission from Mom and/or Dad.

 

She met up with four other 12YO girls -- they were free to roam the public spaces of the ship (those open to kids) as long as they were together and behaved themselves -- there were a total of five sets of parents, 10 siblings, and 5 other extended relations among the five girls so there were "eyes" everywhere :); plus my daughter has very unique hair (waist-long, blond, with natural cork-screw curls) and she has learned that complete strangers will strike up conversations with to me to comment about her hair, and I have NO trepidation about enlisting these ladies into keeping her on the straight-and-narrow either!

 

If they wanted to go to a show, one of the parents had to chaperone (we'd sit a row back of course!), If they were going to attend a teen club event - they went together, stayed together, left together, they walked each other to their cabins and a parent from the second-to-the-last-cabin accompanied the last girl "home". No sodas or drinks unless they saw the bartender fill it -- no leaving drinks at a table unaccompanied and then coming back to finish them up -- all that stuff. No going ANYWHERE (bathroom or anywhere) without one or all of the others.

 

At some point in your DD's life, she'll need to be on her own away from her parents or other formal authority figures. Give her some responsibility for herself now, in a relatively controlled environment. Set up rules, outline the consequences of not following the rules, enforce the rules, and this can be a great experience for her. Have fun!

[SelectSys]

Kids need opportunities to learn responsible behavior. A cruise is an opportunity to have your kid practice some of these important life lessons.

 

Totally, agree with this! From dressing and behaving in a formal dining, to dinner, to meeting and making friends with people from different locations and backgrounds, as well as having a bit of freedom to explore on their own in a fairly controlled environment is just another advantage of cruising.

 

It is not an "all or nothing" experience -- ... - YOU can set up rules with your kid.

 

Again, exactly right. We have ground rules for our kids including what they can do, where they can go, rules for the cabins, mandatory check in times and activites, etc.

 

No sodas or drinks unless they saw the bartender fill it -- no leaving drinks at a table unaccompanied and then coming back to finish them up -- all that stuff.

 

Never thought about this, but this is good advice.

 

Give her some responsibility for herself now, in a relatively controlled environment. Set up rules, outline the consequences of not following the rules, enforce the rules, and this can be a great experience for her. Have fun!

 

Great post IMHO! Kids grow up fast and depending on the child they will react well to responsibility.

[solesman]

Onessa summed it up nicely for me.

 

Our approach to this with our 13yo was to set up rules and see how he does. If after the first day or two, they do well, loosen the leash a little.

 

He messed up one time. I caught him and a couple of his buddies being disrespectful around the elevators. Nothing lewd or anything, just being loud and not respecting proper elevator etiquette (letting people off before getting on). I told them it would suck if they had to take the stairs everywhere they went on the ship for the next 3 days.

[solesman]

Onessa summed it up nicely for me.

 

Our approach to this with our 13yo was to set up rules and see how he does. If after the first day or two, they do well, loosen the leash a little.

 

He messed up one time. I caught him and a couple of his buddies being disrespectful around the elevators. Nothing lewd or anything, just being loud and not respecting proper elevator etiquette (letting people off before getting on). I told them it would suck if they had to take the stairs everywhere they went on the ship for the next 3 days.

[thunderbird1]

we just cruised for the first time on Freedom of the Seas and I also had an almost 13 year old! The other posts are correct--there really is no signing in; the kids just show up when they want and leave when they want, and there are separate rooms for 12-14 and 15-17. My daughter was not interested in the daytime activities but went to a bunch of evening programs, which were mostly dances in the teen disco Fuel and socials held in the teen room The Living Room. At the beginning of the cruise, I always brought her to the activity and collected her at the activity. There were some activities like a scavenger hunt and teen night at the Flow Rider where she was doing things in groups at different points of the ship. Towards the end of the cruise I had a greater comfort level and would allow her to come back to our cabin on her own after an activity, which was a deck or two below the teen rooms. It is all about your comfort level. In the beginning of the cruise I would not let her alone for a minute. Towards the end, I felt comfortable with her coming back to our cabin, but this was a process. Whatever you are comfortable with will absolutely work.

 

These evening activities are what make me nervous, since they put the 12-14 year olds and the 15-17 year olds together. My dd will be 12, but already looks 13, so I can only imagine what she'll look like in a year and a half. :( Are the parties in the disco always well supervised? I probably shouldn't even worry, as my dad will be on the cruise with us, she's his first grandchild and only granddaughter, and he'll probably just stake out a spot outside the disco to be her official "escort." :p

 

Thanks everyone else for all the other good suggestions re: staying together in groups, unattended drinks, etc.