Looking for a post

[rool]

Hi, I'm relatively new on here and on my first evening of surfing I read an amusing and informative post about all the things you can and can't do on a cruise. It was quite long and said things like 'no you can't steal the bathrobes, yes you can have nookie on the balcony but you might be seen' etc.

 

I wanted to show my wife but can't find it bow so wondered if anyone might have a link or know where it might be hiding.

 

many thanks

[cherylandtk]

My guess is this one:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=575361

[rool]

hi, thanks for that, I thought it was that one too earlier but it's not the one I'm sorry to say. The post I am looking for is from just one person and probably had about 40 to 50 one liners, maybe more, of information.

 

I'm hoping it's even on this board although I can't remember what others I may have visited :)

[cherylandtk]

Well, can you narrow down which forum you saw it in? Number of responses? Name of person who posted it? As a last straw, if you remember any really unusual phrasing used in the post....might be able to get a hit on the search function.

[rool]

Well, can you narrow down which forum you saw it in? Number of responses? Name of person who posted it? As a last straw, if you remember any really unusual phrasing used in the post....might be able to get a hit on the search function.

 

No, sorry, I didn't note anything useful like that. I am a man afterall :D .

 

I think it's a case of keep digging and hoping

[cherylandtk]

I just tried searching on the word 'bathrobe' in all three super-forum headings and did not find anything recent or that seemed to match.

 

I suspect you might have been looking in the New Cruisers forum, since that is where you posted this, but can only suggest you go back in this forum a couple of days worth to whichever page has the last posts dated the same as the evening you were first looking....might be there. Good luck.

[rool]

I think I dreamed it up, especially the nookie bit, due to all the excitement of booking the cruise.

 

Thanks for your help

[maureencruiser]

Hello, I'm sorry, I don't know how to link to a thread like that other poster did, but, I searched for "nookie" in the Royal Caribbean forum and one of the posts was from Cincy-David in 2006 that was a big list of first-timer things. It did say you can have nookie on your balcony, but others may see you. Sorry I can't make it easier, maybe someone else knows how...Maureen

[rool]

Hello, I'm sorry, I don't know how to link to a thread like that other poster did, but, I searched for "nookie" in the Royal Caribbean forum and one of the posts was from Cincy-David in 2006 that was a big list of first-timer things. It did say you can have nookie on your balcony, but others may see you. Sorry I can't make it easier, maybe someone else knows how...Maureen

 

Wahey, thanks Maureen, that's definitely the one.

 

And for every other newbies benefit (thinly veiled excuse for me to be able to find again) here it is:-

 

Yes, you can wear jeans (or shorts) in the dining room, but preferably not on formal nights.

Yes, you can smuggle alcohol on board.

No, it is not necessary to pre-tip the cabin attendant.

The aft balcony will fit lounge chairs. Regular balconies will not.

Yes, aft cabins are great. Yes it’s a long walk. No, you can’t hear noise from the club/Windjammer below/above. (ok maybe a little) It is not necessarily better or worse for movement. It’s all about the view.

Yes, hump cabins are great. No, you don’t hear noise from the elevators. Yes, some balconies are (slightly) bigger.

If you reserve pool lounge chairs, people will be upset with you and might move your stuff.

Yes, the ship may rock. The ocean is not under RCI’s control. Some people get seasick…most don’t.

Fly in a day early just in case. Don’t book a return flight too soon after disembarkation.

Yes, you can board earlier than the “scheduled” time.

Sometimes you can get a bathrobe if you ask.

The weather in the Caribbean in winter is good (despite forecasts of rain). That’s why we go there.

Choose the early seating if you have children. Stay home if they are under 2.

Read the Ports of Call board if you have excursion questions.

Yes, you can book excursions outside RCI. Most people do, for less money.

Yes, most ships have smoking areas. No, it won’t bother you unless you sit there.

No, you cannot remove balcony dividers.

No, you can’t skip the muster.

Yes, all the rooms have ice buckets, hair dryers, soap, coat hangers and safes.

Yes, Royal Caribbean customer service is a nightmare.

Bring duct tape, bungee cords, Ziploc bags, magnets, less clothes, more money.

Buy the drink of the day to save money.

There is a (slim) chance of being upgraded at the pier.

Yes, Chops and Portofino’s are worth the extra $20.

Buy lanyards and disposable cameras at Walmart/Target/Kmart, not onboard or in port.

Yes, people disappear from cruise ships, some on purpose I suspect.

You can’t take a cruise and not have a good time.

NOT ALL CABINS have a safe.

And I think that you forgot that Johnny Rocket's charges $3.95 per head, but C&A members get a coupon for one free visit, and the soda card doesn't work in there.

OH, you forgot the long, boring, detailed description of soda cards/stickers/cups AND the fact that it's stealing to share.

THERE ARE NO IRONS ON ANY RCCL SHIP

Bring a pen and some Post-It notes (for leaving notes)

RCI does not owe you a refund of your cruise fare if a port is missed for reasons beyond their control....

The cabins have shampoo.

Your baby/toddler/elderly parent cannot go in the pool even with swimmy diapers.

The Solariums are not for children except during certain hours during inclement weather.

RCI does not have a topless/nude sunbathing deck.

You can have "nookie" on your balcony, but sometimes other people can see you.

Sodas/bottled water/alcoholic beverages are not included in the cruise fare.

RCI does not have self-serve laundry or ironing facilities.

You can smuggle an iron onboard in you really want one.

The hair driers do not have much power.

Children under 3, even if potty-trained, are not allowed in Adventure Ocean.

RCI coffee does not taste like Starbuck's (or anything else drinkable!).

RCI does not serve lobster during formal night on 3 or 4 night cruises.

Quest is fun, but it's a secret why.

You can order more than one entree, dessert, soup, etc. during dinner.

You can get a price reduction on your cruise if the price drops and isn't a happy hour special.

Book your own air if you are concerned about stops, flying day of departure, certain airlines, etc.

The ship does not wait for you if you are late boarding unless you are on an RC excursion.

You can get cash from the casino using your Sea Pass.

The internet is not free onboard.

Passports are the recommended form of ID.

If you are a woman using your married name, sometimes they ask for your marriage certificate with your birth certificate, sometimes they don't. No one knows why. See above.

Sometimes the itineraries change without notice. Again, no one knows why.

Travel during hurricane season at your own risk. RC cannot control forces of nature (yet).

Buy insurance.

Not all ships have safes, and on some ships you have to have a card that has a magnetic strip. Bring an expired gift card that can be left in the room.

No candles

Yes, you can hear noise from your neighbors.

no, four adults cannot fit comfortably in an inside cabin

no, elevators do not get you from aft to forward

yes, RCI excursion have first tender priority

yes, carlos n charlies has reopened in Cozumel

cozumel, costa maya and grand cayman ports of call are often cancelled due to rough tendering conditions

tip your servers even if you eat in the Windjammer every day

keep your butt in your poolside lounger or let someone else use it

if you think no one's watching...there's probably a camera

yes, take your mints out of the bed before going to sleep

yes, check your account daily (especially if you have teens or a gambling spouse!)

no, sea lice, bed bugs, jellyfish, botfly, mosquitoes & sand fleas are probably not going to affect you

yes, tip your friendly bartender a little extra

no, the production shows are not Broadway quality

no, the food is not worthy of any Michelin stars, but you're not gonna starve

no, you're not going to find an authentic Picasso for $10 at the art auction

people can be rude...ignore them and focus on your own fun

if you sign up for your M&M, go to it!

no, you cannot fish from or barbeque on your balcony

if you get too drunk or spend too much money it is not the cruise line's fault

last but not least, remember the golden rule.

Only a Wonka-vator (Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory) can get you between fore & aft or between port & starboard. I don't think this cruise line has installed them yet on their ships

No jr. suites do not get perks....just two cruise credits

No you cannot bring friends or relatives into the concierge lounge if they haven't booked a suite.

The concierge may or may not email or call you prior to the cruise to set up spa appointments etc - and no one knows why some get a call and some don't.

The pina coladas they "serve" in the windjammer on sail-a-way day are not free.

You can request a small table for your family or party....but there is no guarantee.

No the elevators DO NOT go from bow to stern (front and back) of the ship

Yes there is dry cleaning services

Yes there are ATM's BUT a very high sur-charge applies

Think twice about blowing into that Whistle on your Life Preserver

Yes they do connect beds to make a queen size bed

No you will not FALL through the cracks in between the 2 beds

Yes you can fall overboard (voluntarily or if you p...off someone maybe pushed)

Yes if you are Scottish or want to be it's ok to wear Kilts to the dining room (going commando is your choice)

And last but not least HAVE FUN!!!

Yes there is a Doctor and a Nurse on board

Yes you can order room service (Full Menu)

Depending where the ship is and who your carrier is, you might be able to use your cell phone.

You can use your laptop in your cabin, but it costs extra.

No you can't "Drive" the ship

Yes the ship has Auto-Pilot

Those funny things that help keep the boat stable, well they are called Stabilizers

Yes there are lots of Photographers on the Ship

Left Side of Ship is called PORT

Right Side of Ship is called STARBOARD

Rear of Ship is called AFT

Front of Ship is called BOW

 

...and this list is ever growing. :D

[rool]

I'd just like to add that anyone going on an Egypt & Eastern Med Cruise is unlikely to witness any nookie on my balcony (sadly :( )

[maureencruiser]

Rool, You and your wife are going on your first cruise! Once you get out in the sea air and get the wind in your hair and a few cocktails in you, you two just might surprise yourselves (and anyone else looking into your balcony)! Have a great time...Maureen