cruising with inlws!!

[m1ckey]

My inlaws heard how much fun we have been having on our cruises. They now want to join us.

Has anyone else done this?

they want to room next to us know our agenda.....blah blah...

We have booked , we got a great price on UIG.

But its our 3rd time on this cruise, we want to do differnt things, like a corona beach party, they are like all you think about is booze>>>?!!!

I told them its cheap and we get to hang on the beach and play!!

I think I am in for allot of trouble!!

any advise???

[LizaMM]

I once went on a cruise that I "shared" with my ex husband, his brother and my nephew (with my children - family gathering - oh the things we will do for our kids!!!!)......talk about strange!

 

How I personally survived and enjoyed myself as well as the time with my kids.....

 

1 - made sure my cabin was one deck above from ex/in law

2 - made sure reservations were not linked (used a different TA)

3 - checked as soon as possible upon embarkation that dining assignments were at a different table (this might not be something you would want to do ;) )

4 - booked excursions in advance that I wanted - for me I booked for myself and my children as well as my nephew and enjoyed my own special family time without the intrusion of others

5 - I got a balcony cabin so that I would have a private place to escape to if/when I needed

 

 

In the end, the ship is large and since you have cruised before you are well aware of how easy it is to find something else to do when you need to.

 

My experience - I was pleasantly surprised to rekindle a friendship with my ex BIL and nephew.....and when I bumped into my ex-HB at the disco I said hello, jumped out on the dancefloor or went to the Piano Bar for awhile :)

[bwjm]

Remind them this is YOUR vacation, and you have your own aganda. It might be nice to meet up at meals, to see what each other is doing, but for spending 24/7 together wouldn't make for a fun time for any.

I don't know your relationship with them, but you could let them know what you are doing. If they want to, also, fine, but give them a list of other things THEY could be doing to enjoy THEIR vacation, also.

Wish you luck, and hope all goes well. As long as rules are set-up BEFORE you go/book, and they're understood, it might turn into a fun trip for all! If you're under each others skin, and not getting along, it could turn into the worst vacation ever, also.

Ask them what their thinking is going to be involved with this trip, and tell them what YOU think of it. Then see if you still want to vacation together. Set-up some basic rules that you can all agree on, and you might find yourself having a nice time;).

[Lowie]

the first time my DH found out that my parents booked the cruise we were going on he was very mad! then he found out that they are really fun to travel with, plus they take the kids a lot.

 

we also cruised with his newly widowed mother and although she gets under my skin in so many ways it worked out very well and we had a nice time.

 

we are cruising with my parents again this week and my DH asked them if they want to go on the next one!

 

either way you have to set ground rules, let them know that you want to do your own thing and meet up for certain dinners/excursions. you should not have to spend every waking hour with them!

 

your husband HAS to talk to them, especially if they are already passing judgment on your consumption of alcohol. try to NOT have neighboring cabins, so they can't watch you come and go.

 

good luck!

[rebeccalouise]

I have traveled with my parents and it was fine. In fact, cruising is great because everyone can do their own thing and converge at dinner time. I think once your parents see how much there is to do on the ship- they aren't going to worry about your plans.

 

I do think it is convenient to have your parents close at hand where kids are involved. It may free you up a bit.

[serene56]

I have cruised with parents in the past- I also took them to Vegas for their 50th anniversary instead of having a party.

The way I look at it---my dad is 80-my mom is 77. I wont have them around forever and I can do alone time after they are gone.

 

I suggest letting them know what they can do in various ports. If they wanted to do what I wanted---great but they are aware of options.

 

We made dinner together the first cruise- the 2nd they did not want to do the formal dining room-- it was too much for them to get dressed 3 times a day so they ate in the buffet every day. Lst cruise they never even got off the ship in any port- They had a great time, we had a great time.

They are going without me next Sept. (although not alone)

[cb at sea]

Why did they have to dress 3 times a day for meals? Were they not "dressed" all day, anyway?

Breakfast and lunch in the dining room is pretty much casualwear--it's only dinnertime that they expect something other than shorts.....

[CanadianTwosome]

Everyone's inlaw relationships are different, but I agree with bwjm about it being YOUR vacation. When I was planning my wedding, my mother in law gave me a few 'suggestions', and I can't remember incorporating even one of them. I simply thanked her for the input and said, 'But... it's my wedding, so I'm just going to stick to my original plan.' This is YOUR vacation. If they wish to join, then that's their decision, but they need to understand that they are taking THEIR vacation, and just because you're on the same ship does not mean that you will be with them 24/7. We're about to travel with my mom, my aunt, and four other couples, and I've made it as clear as possible to each of them that we don't expect to see them all the time. We've even got one of the couples splitting up in port because they have different interests. It's actually working out really well that we have so many travelling together because we CAN split up so that everyone can enjoy what they want.

 

As for the 'all you think about is booze' thing, if you want to discuss it with them (you don't have to), simply explain to them that when you're at home, the opportunities to relax and have a few drinks without having to drive, or work - or even get up in the morning if you don't want to - are nonexistent, so part of cruising is the freedom to indulge a little. :)

[Kerry's Girls]

My twins and I cruised with my late husband's parents in October and it went well. I explained to them beforehand that part of being on vacation that's very important to me is alone time with my daughters, and also that, except for dinner, I wouldn't want to try to coordinate meals together. When the girls are hungry, I want to be able to take them to eat - not try to adjust to a set time. We all did some activities together, but always had dinner together and went dancing.

 

We brought along a magnetic dry erase board so we could always leave a note on our door saying with our destination and the time - so if my in-laws wanted to find us, they'd have an idea where we were (dining room, pool, etc.). One thing that turned out wonderful was that they'd take one of my girls for an outing each day (for an ice cream, for a swim, even just for a walk). It was nice bonding for them, and nice for me to get to spend alone time with one child - which is rare.

 

My husband and I cruised many times with my parents - some of my fondest memories. We would always agree on one port where we'd spend the day together, and the rest we were on our own.

 

Have a great trip.

 

Best,

Mia

[serene56]

Why did they have to dress 3 times a day for meals? Were they not "dressed" all day, anyway?

Breakfast and lunch in the dining room is pretty much casualwear--it's only dinnertime that they expect something other than shorts.....

 

No, they didnt dress three times for meals-- they have to get up and get dressed and just wanted to stay that way.

They didnt want to get up --get dressed-- go into ports come back get dressed-- eat dinner then change-- then when it was time for bed get changed yet again. Thats a lot of undressing for my parents.

[crusinmama06]

Serene - I understand what you are saying, I change 3 times/day too. Breakfast/Port, then pool, then dinner. ;)

 

M1ckey - I have cruised with both sets of parents. The less stressful one for ME is my parents. But I am doing it again with his parents. The last time I cruised with HIS mother, I had a whole thread going called something like "Can I feed my MIL to the sharks at Atlantis" - it was determined that my MIL would only give the poor sharks heartburn. :p

 

Good luck!

[CC Help Michell]

This is a way... WAY.... ***WAY***... individual question. Everyone's relatives/inlaws are different, as is everyone who might be posting here. To the OP, I personally wouldn't do this without a payment equal to a year of college tuition for my eldest niece -- at least then my suffering would have a greater purpose! :D

 

I love my SO's mom, and we've taken great trips before now with her and will again -- without HER SO. The ones we've taken with him... um.... thanks, I'll have a root canal instead.

 

Otherwise I agree with Mia's post -- a lot of very candid discussion in advance about expectations is required. Set the expectations and be sure everyone understands them. Otherwise, remember "this too shall pass!"

[m1ckey]

Thanks for all the great advise!!

I agree on having a family talk . I know we do have plans for dinner. We can catch up on our day then.

I have done the ruins plus beach party last time we went to Progresso. The kids loved the beach party part the best...pool, beach, virgin strawberry daquris, volley ball....

So we thought lets just do the party this time.

I guess "corona" ment booze fest for FIL.

still rubbed me the wrong way.

 

thanks again for all the great ideas, I will let you know how it goes.

[Conrycol]

Wow, we've cruised with our extended family (brothers, sisters, mother,father, sister-in-laws, nieces,nephews) last February and this coming February, and have done many land vacations. Seventeen going on the cruise in February (maybe more) and we all sit together at dinner time (change seats at the two tables each night) and see each other most of the day. Glad we all get along so well with each other. Oh and the adults each have a martini each night, guess that helps too:D.

[rebeccalouise]

Now that I have a 21 year old son with a very serious girlfriend- I can understand that one day in the near future I will be a "mother-in-law". You reap what you sow. Remember that parents are usually well-intended and just want their kids and grandkids to be happy. If you set out with a good attitude- a fun time will be had by all.

Cruises make great extended family vacations. Relax and have fun.

[2Cruise4Ever]

As others have said, every relationship with in-laws is different and unique. My in-laws cruised with us about 2 years ago. But, we were clear ahead of time with them: we do what we want to do, you do what you want to do. If they both happened to be the same thing at the same time, great! If not, have fun, and we'll catch up later. MIL seemed a bit put off by setting "ground rules" ahead of time, but it worked out well in the end.

 

I agree with others: communication ahead of time is key. And, attitude is everything. No matter what, make sure you have a good time. It may not be 100% perfect, but it'll be fun.

 

Let us know how it works out!

[bigpuma]

As others have said, every relationship with in-laws is different and unique. My in-laws cruised with us about 2 years ago. But, we were clear ahead of time with them: we do what we want to do, you do what you want to do. If they both happened to be the same thing at the same time, great! If not, have fun, and we'll catch up later. MIL seemed a bit put off by setting "ground rules" ahead of time, but it worked out well in the end.

 

I agree with others: communication ahead of time is key. And, attitude is everything. No matter what, make sure you have a good time. It may not be 100% perfect, but it'll be fun.

 

Let us know how it works out!

 

This is the great thing about cruising, you don't have to do the same things everyday. It is very easy to do your own thing or hang out together. I have cruised with the In Laws and we just let them know what escursions we were doing and they joined us if they wanted or they did their own thing. Very flexible.

[ladymonty]

We just did this. We had a group of 22 on the cruise for Christmas. It was great! Most of us had cabins close to each other, but others had cabins on other decks. We talked about and booked excursions before the trip. Those who wanted to do dolphins, did dolphins, those who wanted to go to the beach, did that. Everything was very laid back. We all had dinner together a couple of times (like on Christmas Day), but the rest of the time we wound up eating at different times and different places with smaller groups 6-10. (We were on NCL so we were doing Freestyle). It was a wonderful vacation to do with an extended family group! We hope to do it again SOON :)

[3GR8Sons]

My inlaws heard how much fun we have been having on our cruises. They now want to join us.

Has anyone else done this?

they want to room next to us know our agenda.....blah blah...

We have booked , we got a great price on UIG.

But its our 3rd time on this cruise, we want to do differnt things, like a corona beach party, they are like all you think about is booze>>>?!!!

I told them its cheap and we get to hang on the beach and play!!

I think I am in for allot of trouble!!

any advise???

 

We travel with MIL, SIL, BIL and all our kids. The number one thing you have to understand is that you do not all have to do the same thing at the same time. If you want to do the beach party and they don't they shouldn't have any problem finding something to do.

 

I wouldn't ask their permission to book stuff but I would let them know and invite them to join you in some things.

 

I have found that I really like travelling with extended family. Cruises are great because when we travel with 10 people we don't have to arrange things that 10 people agree on. We can all do our thing and meet for drinks/dinner.