Got blasted on the X board...should've known better

[quincytoo]

Welcome to Cruise Critic where you learned lesson number one...nothing stirs the board like babies, smoking, jeans in the dining room and chair hogging. ;)

 

I just got off of RCCL Independence. The kids from the pirate parade were getting into the elevator with the counselors (one elevator for all of the kids). Some grumpy ole bitty got off of the other elevator and commented to her companion "That's the reason I came ON this cruise, to get away from THAT"

 

So, as usual I don't miss a trick, I turn to her and said "You picked the wrong cruise line...maybe I can suggest another" ;)

 

Then I turned to my hubby and said "I came on this cruise to get away from grumpy people, guess it didn't work" :D

 

 

Good for you I would have done the same thing :D

 

We have taught our boys to hold the door for a woman as she passes through, last year our then 15 year old did such a thing for this GOF and she huffed her way without even a look or thank you so *I* said, "Good for you son, you showed good manners and that woman should have said thank you, she was being rude" in a high enough voice she shot us a dirty look. Another couple came up and said, good for you, nice to see young people being polite :)

[mzche1999]

Thanks for your insight. I used the term sir to direct it at the person who posted the review. I didn't understand why anyone would comment that someone brought an infant to the MDR. This person also did not mention the child was rowdy or disruptive, it was just a statement that someone had brought a baby that I felt was unfair. They are paying customers too, and if the baby was not disruptive, then why should it be a problem?

 

I didn't intend to provoke any controversy over it. You are right, I did get some very supportive people, but the teacher comment I felt was insensitive, how could one be in the field of childcare and psychology and yet not show even more compassion than most cruisers who would just see it as a nuisance? How could you say you love your job which involves children, yet be weary of being near one that "might" misbehave. I do think a career change might be in order. I totally agree I tried to take back a very charged response too late, and I regretted stooping to that level. I am not claiming my baby is an angel but I'm also not disillusioned when I think he is very well behaved. To suggest everyone thinks their baby is an angel comment from this person was unfair and I shot back or people who just automatically assumed some parents tune out their babies crying...One of the responses from that thread was of a young mother who had an infant with an ear infection that was upset and in the end disrupting another couple's dinner who moved their table...I guess what some of the people who responded also need to know that sometimes parents are irresponsible yes, but also, those who have crying infants do not intend to ruin anyone else's time either. I would think I am more cognizant of the people around me to respond if my baby acts out, but a little sensitivity from the folks out there would be greatly appreciated too.

 

 

Lastly, I'm sorry if I offended you. I really just intended to say that someone who has a background that should understand not just from an educational perspective, but a practical one (we can't always control any kid 100% of the time) shouldn't be weary when a child is seated close without giving the child the benefit of the doubt. I think there is definite space to offer more understanding or compassion to parents, its not always easy!

 

I think you have your nerve!! Suggesting that this woman change her profession is ridiculous. I am an educator AND a parent. I have dedicated my career to loving and caring for children. I am sometimes in a position where I do for them what a parent won't. You can't fault her or anyone else for not wanting to be bothered with a crying baby.

 

As a parent, you should know your child's temperament, whether they are 10 months or 10 years old. Certain situations do not lend themselves to being child-friendly or even child appropriate. These situations should not have to be spelled out for a parent. Sometimes, we, as parents might have to miss out on something that WE desire to do because it is not a good fit for our kids. That is the cost of being a parent.

 

I have a 5 year old who is very high maintenance. There are places that we DON'T take him because we know that he would have a hard time handling it. Not to mention, it is unfair to other patrons who are trying to enjoy their evening as well. The solution? We either make alternate arrangements for our kids or we don't go.

 

Hugs,

Chelle

[cruisead]

I guess what I'm having a problem understanding is why ONE comment from only one poster (the original comment that got you so angry) has you so riled up? So what if one person didn't care for a screaming baby? It's just one person, and I would bet that there are dozens, if not more, reviews and comments telling people how great it is to see the little ones on a cruise. You can't let one comment bug you so completely.

 

But I will say, there was one comment you made on the X board that bothered me, other than the slam to the teacher. Here's your quote

 

"My kid is a paying customer, and while you're eating in the buffet line because you simply can't wait until you get back to your seat, he's also paid so you can have an extra portion of lobster in the MDR at night. Maybe its an expensive vacation for you, but its not for us."

 

That's a pretty nasty comment to make to anyone who might have to save for at least a year to go on any kind of vacation. You're lucky that a cruise is cheap for you, but please don't belittle others who don't make the kind of money you and your husband do. It's very demeaning to anyone who has to scrimp and save for a vacation. No one likes to have their nose rubbed for any reason.

[asshergirl]

Hi Tracie

 

I responded to this thread (#10) earlier elaborating on my thoughts and how I felt attacked and I've apologized both on the X board and this one for my less than classy comments as I felt under fire.

 

Everyone has really given me great perspective on this issue and so have you. Thanks~ of course I shouldn't let one person or a few people anger me to that point. I was so mad my face really looked like this icon :mad:

 

As for the money comment which was inclusive in my apology of ugly comments, designed to make the person feel as bad as I did for bringing a child. It was specifically in response to a reference about how this person didn't appreciate being around children and how it was affecting her expensive vacation...My child is entitled to a jerk free vacation too, and some of these people would not make that the case, which is why I pointed out he is also a paying customer. He is just as entitled as they are, the respect should work both ways...I would of course remove him if he had an ugly moment, but give my child a chance! He's great and loves people! Seeing a child does not automatically mean bad behavior and I felt no one even wanted to give kids a chance on that board. As you can see, I got a lot of the "all parents think their children are angels" or "parents tune out their children's crying" That is my definition of nasty, pre-judging and discriminating comments, we are all entitled to a relaxing and enjoyable vacation. I don't take it well when I'm automatically lumped into that category.

 

One thing I've noticed now is this board specifically 'family cruising' works a lot like the other forums I belong to. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. I've learned a lot in the last week. I've learned that even though I've been on 5 cruises on RCCL I've never encountered one bad child, BUT many have which is why they are weary. OK, but I've encountered many bad adult behavior, should I be weary of the people? I've met some of the nicest people onboard and that would truly be a shame.

 

While I got great supportive feedback from some, I also got sarcasm, negativity, and flak about kids not meeting their preferences for a 'quiet' vacation. Well, actually we were looking for the SAME thing. From some of the comments, I'm not looking forward to this cruise as much as I was, and weary of the potential people onboard, if only I didn't know what I know now about how some people feel.

 

I'm going to remain hopeful that everyone who had something positive and supportive to say is right, and once we get there everything will be good and wonderful.

[mactrio]

I'm also a 33 year old "dude" with a 24 year old DW and a 5-day old DD. Let me tell you, the past handful of days have been very educational. :p

 

Congratulations on your newborn daughter. So, when is she going on her first cruise? :)

[mkad1109]

Hi Tracie

 

I responded to this thread (#10) earlier elaborating on my thoughts and how I felt attacked and I've apologized both on the X board and this one for my less than classy comments as I felt under fire.

 

Everyone has really given me great perspective on this issue and so have you. Thanks~ of course I shouldn't let one person or a few people anger me to that point. I was so mad my face really looked like this icon :mad:

 

As for the money comment which was inclusive in my apology of ugly comments, designed to make the person feel as bad as I did for bringing a child. It was specifically in response to a reference about how this person didn't appreciate being around children and how it was affecting her expensive vacation...My child is entitled to a jerk free vacation too, and some of these people would not make that the case, which is why I pointed out he is also a paying customer. He is just as entitled as they are, the respect should work both ways...I would of course remove him if he had an ugly moment, but give my child a chance! He's great and loves people! Seeing a child does not automatically mean bad behavior and I felt no one even wanted to give kids a chance on that board. As you can see, I got a lot of the "all parents think their children are angels" or "parents tune out their children's crying" That is my definition of nasty, pre-judging and discriminating comments, we are all entitled to a relaxing and enjoyable vacation. I don't take it well when I'm automatically lumped into that category.

 

One thing I've noticed now is this board specifically 'family cruising' works a lot like the other forums I belong to. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. I've learned a lot in the last week. I've learned that even though I've been on 5 cruises on RCCL I've never encountered one bad child, BUT many have which is why they are weary. OK, but I've encountered many bad adult behavior, should I be weary of the people? I've met some of the nicest people onboard and that would truly be a shame.

 

While I got great supportive feedback from some, I also got sarcasm, negativity, and flak about kids not meeting their preferences for a 'quiet' vacation. Well, actually we were looking for the SAME thing. From some of the comments, I'm not looking forward to this cruise as much as I was, and weary of the potential people onboard, if only I didn't know what I know now about how some people feel.

 

I'm going to remain hopeful that everyone who had something positive and supportive to say is right, and once we get there everything will be good and wonderful.

I have been following both threads since the beginning. I am well past your stage (my children are ages 11 through 16, 4 of them in five years which was quite hectic--I envy you where you are-enjoy every precious second of his childhood!).

 

I am getting a bit leary as well going on our first Celebrity Cruise. You are braver than I. I went on NCL for the first few since I would never go anywhere without the kids and I did not know what to expect. I feel now they are ready. But with all the nonsense about dress, and children I am getting apprehensive. The only thing I will say to you is stay strong. I have encountered my share of GOF's (I LOVE that acronym) and have always looked at it as an opportunity to prove them wrong. I have been blessed with relatively well behaved children and almost always I was able to leave with my head held high. I will do the same on this cruise and encourage you to do the same. Keep him smiling, keep him happy and if his laughter annoys others than have pity on those others. I hope I never get tired of children's laughter......

[mobster75]

Congratulations on your newborn daughter. So, when is she going on her first cruise? :)

 

Her first cruise will be on the Summit in January 2010 for a S. Caribbean itinerary. We booked it 2 weeks before she was born :)

[fleeflicker]

I understand that you have to becareful due to getting slammed. It does happen sometimes on the family board but not as often. Here is my take on the subject. When I go on vacation I call it a family vacation. It means exactly that my family which includes kids. There are certain activities that I don't partcipate in because I am offended and in my opinion if someone is offended by kids they should look into an all adult time cruise.

[WineDown17]

Yes.. there are plenty of adult only options.. my husband and I go on them all the time.. except when we are on a FAMILY vacation. :) Isnt choice wonderful!!??!! :)

 

One of the most offending posters seems pretty miserable.. from the sound of her other posts she has written, she may need to cancel a planned cruise and is lashing out at others who still have the good fortune to cruise.

 

I feel sorry for her- that doesnt excuse her attitude, but it sure explains it.

[Julienatul]

I think there is enough room on a cruise ship for us to all be happy! There are going to be those of us who cruise with young children and there are going to be those who go on a cruise to enjoy quiet relaxation. I think we can co-exist. Most parents here on cruisecritic would not impose on other passengers just as most people who flame those who bring children on a cruise on this board would never day to say something in person. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We have never encountered anyone who was not friendly to us on the 6 cruises my 3 year-old has been on. We are very careful to remove her if she acts up or disturbs anyone and thankfully it hasnt happened very often. Babies are going to cry sometimes, older children are going to run through the decks, there will always be drunk people at the bar and those using offending language or not obeying the dress code or butting in line where they arent supposed to. Those things may never change so lets not let it ruin a good vacation.

[junglejane]

I think it would be helpful if we all remembered one of the Guidelines that says: "If you disagree with someone, respond to the subject, not the person." http://www.cruisecritic.com/community/guide.cfm#6

 

If someone's posts really annoy you, put them on your Ignore list instead of trying to battle it out on the boards.

 

I agree with Julienatul, there's enough room on a cruise ship for us all to be happy. :) And to Mkad1109: we have been on two Celebrity cruises with our kids and have been treated wonderfully. I would not hesitate to take them on Celebrity again.

 

--Junglejane

[mkad1109]

I think it would be helpful if we all remembered one of the Guidelines that says: "If you disagree with someone, respond to the subject, not the person." http://www.cruisecritic.com/community/guide.cfm#6

 

If someone's posts really annoy you, put them on your Ignore list instead of trying to battle it out on the boards.

 

I agree with Julienatul, there's enough room on a cruise ship for us all to be happy. :) And to Mkad1109: we have been on two Celebrity cruises with our kids and have been treated wonderfully. I would not hesitate to take them on Celebrity again.

 

--Junglejane

You know why is everyone not as smart as we are/??!! lol! Seriously though, thanks for your comments, I pray they will be treated well so that mother lion does not rear her rather ugly head! My take is the same as yours. I REALIZE some dont like/enjoy/get kids so I am patient and try to make sure mine are presented in the best light possible. I GET that some young adults are out to GET DRUNK and have the time of their lives, so we will deal and avoid. I GET that some folks are older and crankier than they might have been 10 years ago.... ( there but for the grace of God go I). I just wish everyone would look out and realize that their perspective is unique... have patience, have tolerance and it will all be good.

[CanadianTwosome]

Good for you I would have done the same thing :D

 

We have taught our boys to hold the door for a woman as she passes through, last year our then 15 year old did such a thing for this GOF and she huffed her way without even a look or thank you so *I* said, "Good for you son, you showed good manners and that woman should have said thank you, she was being rude" in a high enough voice she shot us a dirty look. Another couple came up and said, good for you, nice to see young people being polite :)

 

This is exactly how I like to do it with my daughter. It reinforces that she's done a good thing and that manners are important - even when others don't appear to have them - and of course it has the added benefit of annoying the person. I'd love to think that they learn from it and the next time someone does something nice for them, they'll acknowledge it with a 'thank-you', but I'm not that naive. :p

[WineDown17]

You know why is everyone not as smart as we are/??!! lol! Seriously though, thanks for your comments, I pray they will be treated well so that mother lion does not rear her rather ugly head! My take is the same as yours. I REALIZE some dont like/enjoy/get kids so I am patient and try to make sure mine are presented in the best light possible. I GET that some young adults are out to GET DRUNK and have the time of their lives, so we will deal and avoid. I GET that some folks are older and crankier than they might have been 10 years ago.... ( there but for the grace of God go I). I just wish everyone would look out and realize that their perspective is unique... have patience, have tolerance and it will all be good.

MKAD-

You are right on.

 

I have been tring to preach that on the X board. Most agree.. which is heartening and means we need to remember the loudest (or most negative) voice is not always the majority

[quincytoo]

This is exactly how I like to do it with my daughter. It reinforces that she's done a good thing and that manners are important - even when others don't appear to have them - and of course it has the added benefit of annoying the person. I'd love to think that they learn from it and the next time someone does something nice for them, they'll acknowledge it with a 'thank-you', but I'm not that naive. :p

Ohhh I think you would be surprised at how often your DD says thank you when a good will gesture is done for her :)

 

People were/are always telling us how polite our kids were and I truly think that if good manners and lots of please, thank you, and heaps of praise are bestowed on children then it becomes automatic for them to do the same :)

 

Don't get me wrong I hear the youngest arguing with my DH right now ......clearly they both are wrong heheheheh

[DiBob]

WHile new here..I am still testing the waters..lol..I feel like I will be leaving the security blanket of Disney..lol (AM always on disboards)

Anyway, could not believe so many posts abt, Alaska cruises are better earlier in the season due to the low number of kids!!!!

Well, My kids will be 3, 13 and 16...and we are going last week in May! so ha!