Help!!!!

[megr1125]

I want to thank everyone for their responses :) I know I seem nuts!!! But when you have been through such loss, it truly changes every aspect of your personality and your life. I thank the people who have shown me such compassion and understanding. I know this is probably a panic attack. I just wouldn't want something to happen to my child, I know no one does. But she didn't ask to go on a cruise, this is something we decided. I was fine with it, I truly thought I was o.k. Then last night I started thinking. Then you see things on the net like storms, people getting sick, appendicitus, and rogue waves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I will wait a couple of days and see how I feel.............................

 

the odds of something bad happening on the ship are pretty slim! i am sory for your loss, but this is a great opportunity. how about seeing if you can find a counselor to discuss your fears with?? or your family doctor?? just a thought...it might help!

 

in the end you will have to make your own decision, but someone who is professionally trained can probably help you sort out your fears! if you decide to go, have a great trip!

[MDSue]

Faith, I hope you will reconsider and go. I also hope that beforehand that you will try and talk with your family doctor about your fears. I think it will be very helpful for you and your doctor. I did not fly for many years because I developed a fear of flying. It came out of nowhere. The first time I flew with my daughter, I was the one panicking, not her. I had to appear brave not to frighten her, but I'm sure she could tell how scared I was. She had a wonderful time and over the years my family has taken many great, memory making vacations. But we had to fly and take chances along the way.

Accidents and bad things can happen anywhere and that's just part of life. My daughter was almost killed in a store when a display came crashing down on her and at home when a heavy mirror fell off the wall and landed exactly where she had been crawling minutes before. I was right there with her both times, but if it wasn't for luck or divine intervention she wouldn't be here now.

Your daughter will be a stronger, more confident child if you give her the chance to experience different things and take chances. Like others said, cruising is very safe and she will have a wonderful time.

I still do take a small amount of medication prior to flying to ease my anxiety, but have flown over a dozen times since my phobia began. I think you can get past these fears if you will seek professional help and I think you deserve some good advice after the trauma of losing a child.

Best wishes to you and your family:)

[Ratdoggie]

Faith,

 

I'm not an expert, but I don't think your fear is of the cruise itself. You might be feeling the same anxiety if you were planning a trip to Disneyland or Yellowstone National park.

If you have the means to seek the help of a counselor I think this might benefit you. Even if you cancel this cruise, there will always be other situations and you might just need a little extra help in learning how to deal with them.

I wish the best for you and your daughter!

[faith1]

leejnd4, thank you very much for your kind words. Don't worry I don't worry about the people who aren't so kind with their words. It just means they don't understand what I am feeling, that they haven't gone through the loss of a child. And I wouldn't want them too. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.................. Just know that I was once fearless...........and now I second guess everything. I think I am starting to feel better thanks to this thread, and great advice. But I was wondering if anyone knows if there is a helipad on the dawn? Also do they actually land the helicopter on the ship?????:confused:

[Sea Hag]

I can't begin to understand exactly how you feel on this. I have three children, and I've never known how I could handle losing one of them. You certainly have all my sympathy for your loss, and you have my admiration as well since you're moving along with your life. Not sure I could.

 

I honestly believe that a person's safer on a cruiseship than they are at home in their day to day life, but that doesn't help you. If I were in your shoes, I might feel exactly the same way. If you can't get around your fears about this cruise, then I think you're better off canceling it even if you lose all the money. I don't see how it could be a good experience for you or your daughter if you're under that amount of stress.

[Peg_S]

Faith,

 

Have you signed up on the roll call for your cruise? Maybe you'll feel better talking with and getting to know some others who will be sailing with you.

 

God Bless,

Peg

[uppitycats]

leejnd4, thank you very much for your kind words. Don't worry I don't worry about the people who aren't so kind with their words. It just means they don't understand what I am feeling, that they haven't gone through the loss of a child. And I wouldn't want them too. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.................. Just know that I was once fearless...........and now I second guess everything. I think I am starting to feel better thanks to this thread, and great advice. But I was wondering if anyone knows if there is a helipad on the dawn? Also do they actually land the helicopter on the ship?????:confused:

 

There is a helipad.. way up on top, out of the way, but accessible for those that need it. I wouldn't think you or your child would ever need to go there.

 

No, those of us without children, or who haven't lost a child, don't specifically know what it's like to lose a child, but we might indeed understand panic attacks, and also how important it is for and your living child to get the emotional help you need to get over the panic attacks and allow your living child to live her life, and not "live the life of the child you lost".

 

take care.

[cruisinbuddy]

That's too bad that you feel you have to cancel. I guess you'll stop driving her in a car or walking down the street where cars drive, or never take her to a cottage or camp ground. I'm sorry that this was rough and or mean, but you have to get past your terrible loss. I haven't lost a child, but I did lose a neice. Do you think that your lost daughter would want you to stop living, no. Harsh again, yes, but it's just tough love. No I don't know you, but Cruise Critic is a big family. You owe it to yorself to go on this cruise with your daughter and have a good time. So go, please.

[faith1]

Thanks again to everyone for your opinions, your help, and your advice. Oh and your tough love.

[Cuizer2]

There are no stories. If you don't have insurance and you cancel for any reason' date=' you lose money. How much depends upon how close to the cruise you are.

 

End of story.[/quote']

 

Have you ever heard that there is a right way and a wrong way to do something.

[CC Help Michell]

I think i have made a big mistake booking this cruise, we are booked on the ncl dawn for March. This would be our first cruise with our daughter. I don't want to go now. How do I go about cancelling this!!! I want to be sick right now, anyone have any advice, we didn't buy any cancellation insurance, oh my god I am going to cry!!

 

Okay, I've read the thread, and you need to go find a qualified medical professional (if this is for real, you have my sympathies, as I've been there, too). Otherwise, this isn't the place (an anonymous board on the web) to seek advice on these issues. :(

[Ivystone]

Faith, please see your doctor. I have a young daughter and it freaks me out, too, with all the terrible things that could happen. I started having anxiety attacks and my doctor prescribed Xanax. I don't take them all the time, but when I start to feel anxious, I'll take one and it helps. I took my daughter on her first cruise last year when she was four and was so worried about all the things that could happen (especially falling overboard). It turned out fine, though & she had the time of her life. We're going on another cruise in March and of course, I'm freaking out again, but she is so excited. I know that deep down nothing bad will happen but feel anxious nonetheless. It's such a terrible feeling.

 

Whatever your decision is will be the right one for you.

[meme2manthajoe]

Hi Faith, I have not lost a child but we did lose a very special neice. We struggled with that loss and held our sons back from a lot of things when they were teens because we were afraid. My SIL and her husband became overprotective of their surviving child, but they learned to let go and let her live and help her to enjoy her life to the fullest. It was hard for all of us, I truly do get your fears, but try to find the strength within yourself to move forward and help your little girl to have the time of her life. Take care;)

[mamasue]

Faith....

Nobody can persuade or convince you to take your daughter... but....

How about covering every possible eventuality in your mind (Doctors on board, Helipads, etc)

also.... take a good travel insurance policy (Peace of mind in itself!!)

Although the kids clubs on cruises are very well-staffed by qualified people, but if you feel happier to keep your daughter by your side, that's ok too.

The ships are very safe and stable, the food is excellent quality, and, if a medical emergency arises, there are medical staff available 24/7.

If you're concerned about ports of call, there's nothing to say you even have to get off the ship!!

If you can bring yourself to go, I'm sure you and your little girl will have a whale of a time!!

[megr1125]

it may vary ship to ship, but when they did an evacuation off our Explorer cruise in November, the helicopter hovers over the ship.....it's very cool to watch...

 

(and i don't mean to add to your anxiety!!!):p

 

best of luck with your decision!

[comesatime]

I have not lost a child so I cannot speak from a position of knowledge, but as my children reached their teens, I took worrying to a new level. I was able to let them go out in the world, but I made myself sick with worry while I waited for them to get home. My imagination got the best of me. My mom had always told me to prepare for the worst, and I did that every time that my kids walked out the door. It was making me crazy. I wound up talking up to another mom who changed my life. She taught me to prepare for the most likely outcome. It has helped me immensely. So I would say that based upon some of the helpful information posted here, the odds are very much in your favor that your cruise will be uneventful, and will be a true bonding experience between you and your daughter. Btw, my middle daughter just returned home from a NOLS mountaineering trip to Patagonia. It was a true test of my ability to cope with my fears.

 

And some of you have not been very nice! I am a firm believer in tough love, but done in a loving manner.

[Cruisin' Chick]

I have just one child, and due to marrying late, and having miscarriages, she will be it. Also she is the only grandchild on both sides of our families. We took her on her first cruise at age 23 months, and she loved it. She went on her sixth cruise at age 8. Other things have prevented us from going on a real vacation in the last three years, but as soon as we can, our next major vacation will be another cruise. And get this, I have a fear of water...I can't stand being under water. I also have a fear of flying. But I'm not going to limit my family because of my fears.

 

But when I started dating my future husband, who had already been on his first cruise, I decided to try my first cruise (aside from shorter cruises, like going from Long Beach to Catalina -- about 21 miles; and a three hour cruise around Marina Del Rey on a large yacht with workmates). Fortunately, there was one day cruises that went round trip from San Diego to Ensenada back then. I did fine on that, so the next step was a 7-day cruise. Two weeks before that cruise, we had a major, major earthquake here that killed many people. I almost got knocked on the head by a heavy dresser (my father actually got conked on the head by a bookshelf at his house and needed stitches). I enjoyed the cruise and we started planning our next one, which involved flying to Miami. It involved a stop in Nashville, with a rosary-bead type of landing during a thunderstorm. And a tropical storm chasing us from Jamaica on.

 

Still wanted to go on more cruises. Even went on one while pregnant. Very relaxing to sit by the pool, be pampered by the waitstaff.

 

Even my mother who gets motion sickness at the purr of a bus motor, got herself a patch and went on a four-day cruise. She admitted to enjoying herself immensely, especially the entertainment and meeting wonderful tablemates for dinner.

 

My MIL gave birth to five sons, and only two survived past 21. She now has stage four cancer and told me, after hearing her diagnosis, that she has had a long and fulfilling life. She let her sons grow up the best way they can and live their lifes the best way they can. She knows that you can shut your kids in a little room and expect them to be normal. Letting your child experience life is the best thing you can do for your child. Set down some ground rules for her (no roaming around the ship on her own, etc.), and everything should be fine.

[Wants2cruise]

Faith,

 

I have also lost a child. It was a very sad part of my life. I have two sons, one which was born after we lost our daughter. I have very been protective mother especially with my youngest, but I have been able to grant him the freedom to explore and experience life.

 

Since you mention that you won't fly, and now you are stating your fear about taking a cruise, it is obvious that you feel out of control when you aren't "driving". Well just to put things in perspective, statistically, the most dangerous part about cruising or flying is the drive to the airport or to the cruise port.

 

I work in the medical field, and I can't imagine a single thing that can cause harm to your daughter from this trip unless she has severe existing medical condition. Do you live across the street from the hospital? If not, then you will have faster access to a higher level of medical care on the ship than you will at home.

 

 

So please reconsider your decision to cancel your cruise. Take your camera to get lots of pictures to record the smiles, looks of wonder and the awe of experiencing the adventures you given her.

[tiyana4]

There is no place for a helicopter to land on the ship. Should anything happen, more than likely the person will be airlifted from the ship or taken via the Coast Guard until they can be transported elsewhere. Very few people need such a service, however if you need the service and don't have insurance this can easily top $20,000 (just for the airlift).

 

I agree with another poster that some professional counseling seems to be in order. Perhaps a grief counselor or other professionals can help you deal with your loss and overwhelming sense of anxiety. It may help to make contact with others who are on your roll call for your cruise to help ease your last minute jitters.

 

Keep in mind that millions of people cruise every year without incident. You have no reason to believe that yours will be any different.

[Dorset Cruiser]

Faith

 

Although I have never lost a child - I sympathise with you.

 

Every time we board plane with our children and grandchildren, I panic to start with. However, once we are airborne, I am okay. I just remind myself that someone once told me that you are more likely to die by being kicked to death by a donkey than by dying in a plane crash and how many donkeys do you ever come into contact with;)

 

We took our two small grandchldren to Florida and the Ruby Princess last month. They are aged 5 and 3 and they had the best time ever. They loved going on the plane and can't wait to get on the big ship again. They could not believe they were on a ship and thought we were still in the hotel:p The children's clubs are amazing with fantastic facilities and staff. We did have occasion to visit the medical centre during the cruise as my grandson accidentally hit his sister a glancing blow with his golf club while we were on the putting green. They treated her amazingly well and she hardly has a mark left now. They were really great professional medical staff.

 

Go on the cruise and I promise you will all have a fantastic time.

[raggedyann6]

I want to thank everyone for their responses :) I know I seem nuts!!! But when you have been through such loss, it truly changes every aspect of your personality and your life. I thank the people who have shown me such compassion and understanding. I know this is probably a panic attack. I just wouldn't want something to happen to my child, I know no one does. But she didn't ask to go on a cruise, this is something we decided. I was fine with it, I truly thought I was o.k. Then last night I started thinking. Then you see things on the net like storms, people getting sick, appendicitus, and rogue waves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I will wait a couple of days and see how I feel.............................

 

Faith,

If you did Not panic about this cruise after losing a child I think you would be strange, of course you are feeling panicky. As everybody already pointed out just leaving your house could be fatal, but the odds are nothing will happen. You can not get your money back if you cancel your cruise and insurance would not have helped you because being scared is not covered. I have only been on 2 cruises and both were with my daughters, my husband could not go. I got trip insurance that had good medical coverage, my kids were 9 and 11. They were nervous about falling overboard, but once onboard realized unless they grew 10 inches in a day they could not even come close to falling! I packed a little kit with medical supplies, some antibiotics, ace bandage, neosporan you get the idea. I have a close friend who is an ER doctor and he said he wished his hospital had the surgery suite that was on a cruise he was on. He was amazed how well equipped the ship was medically speaking. My daughter this year had a panic attack about school, she is now on Zoloft (which I did not want to do) but she it Totally fine now. MY kids LOVE cruising now,they are counting down the days until our March 20th Princess cruise. My kids met some great kids on our cruises that they still email.

I will be honest with you although I know we all love cruising I still get a bit worried. When you are on your way home after this cruise and nothing has happened, (which it will not) I bet you will be proud of yourself for going and showing your daughter a fantastic time. I wish you luck no matter what you decide to do just know it is perfectly normal to be afraid. At the end of our life we do not regret what we did do most likely it will be what we did not do.

[tanyanubin]

Try to think of your daughter's eyes as she catches site of a dolphin jumping out of the waves, or of some flying fish, or an incredible sunset. Think of how much fun she'll have with the other kids on board. Ice cream all day! Places she's never been. Colorful birds and plants, and all with mom! Breathe easy and relax. You owe this one to yourself.

[Arwenmark]

Faith I am sorry for your loss but you are only thinking of yourself here and not of your daughter at all. Unless you plan to lock her in a fireproof room in your basement for her lifetime, then you cannot keep her safe. It is not your job to keep her safe it is your job to teach her to live life and be as safe as possible while do it.

 

She will not thank you for such concern as yours, again this is about you not her, and in fact if you persist like this throughout her life with you, you WILL lose her.

 

I won't say there is nothing to fear, since to live life at all is a dangerous undertaking there are always dangers in anything and everything you do. But cruising is not inherintly dangerous, There are many thousands of people sailing every week and very few problems or disasters. Common sense, and common precautions are all that are necessary.

 

She will learn and enjoy on this cruise and Hopefully you will learn some things too. I wholeheartedly agree with those that ask you to seek councelling whether you ultimately take the cruise or cancel.

[faith1]

Hey everyone, I would like you all too know that we have decided to go!!:) Again, I would like to thank everyone who responded with such kind, compassionate and understanding, that I appreciate every word. Those who were not so nice we will just leave out!!!!! My husband and I and our daughter will have a great time! I just needed to go through my anxiety and work through it. I am not saying I will not be nervous, but I will try to enjoy myself. But all your advice has helped me do that!!!!!

 

Take care

[Kristi Williamson]

I didn't post before, Faith1, because I believe that you just needed to think it through yourself and you'd make the decision that's right for you.

 

But, I have to say that I'm SO glad that you decided to go. I have four kids and they absolutely love to cruise. We had been on 4 cruises before I worked up the nerve to take them. I am forever grateful that we did. It's really added to their knowledge that the world is a big, beautiful place and it's also taught them how to be aware of their surroundings. It's been wonderful experiences for our whole family!

 

I know that you'll have a great time and that your daughter will learn as much from this as you will. Congrats on your cruise and I hope that you have the time of your life with your daughter!!

 

Blessings, Kristi