New cruise line now forming!!!

[C 2 C]

No guns required..re-introduce keelhauling and walking the plank... but if marketed right... people will know they have to stay away from us ... mayI say it ...Celebrity snobs....

 

 

I don't think there should be a princess tho... they have a line of their own...

[kokonut]

No guns required..re-introduce keelhauling and walking the plank... but if marketed right... people will know they have to stay away from us ... mayI say it ...Celebrity snobs....

 

 

I don't think there should be a princess tho... they have a line of their own...

 

Gives a standing round of applause to C2C.

[DUCK33]

NO GUNS!!!!! what kind of cruiseline is this anyway?????

[L11]

You know, with properly targeted marketing, we could probably sell keelhauling and plank walking as shore excursions to those who disturb the ambience of the cruise (the chronic complainers, people who cut in lines, wear denim in the dining room, etc.). That would both enhance revenue AND enhance the cruise for the rest of us.

 

Think of it--Duck collects the names of the transgressors and reports them to the Shore Excursion desk (I forget who is in charge just now). That night, the offenders receive a brochure touting a "2 for 1" special on the Ultimate Marine Adventure Package. Something like:

 

"Join us for a fun-filled day that you will never forget! See the ship from a whole new perspective! Come fly off the Party Plank!"

 

Linda

[emptynest1]

Duck, you can keep your guns.

I want to be medical officer. Please oh please can I play with the medical equipement? I would have lots of Zofran for bad sea days and lots of IV fluids to rehydrate all the pax that drink too much.

And I promise to never wear jeans or use walkie talkies.

[dkjretired]

NO GUNS!!!!! what kind of cruiseline is this anyway?????

 

Duck:

 

We have smoking threads, dressing threads, no kids on cruises threads and now you have to start one on Gun Control on Cruise ships.

 

Don

[newtocc]

Danno, I accept the job as Bar Boss, todays special is Heinekens, they're good for you, they improve your eye sight!

[kokonut]

votes that, since Duck has a gun, he can have whatever thread he wants to have.

 

LOL

[C 2 C]

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.”

David Auerbach

 

"Before Noah, men having only water to drink, could not find the truth. Accordingly...they became abominably wicked, and they were justly exterminated by the water they loved to drink. This good man, Noah, having seen that all his contemporaries had perished by this unpleasant drink, took a dislike to it; and God, to relieve his dryness, created the vine and revealed to him the art of making le vin. By the aid of this liquid he unveiled more and more truth."

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

 

"Wine is sunlight, held together by water."

Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)

[Two@Sea]

Since I am a smoker who respects the rights of others NOT to be subjected to my secondhand carcinogens (I always ask, even if I am in a designated smoking area, just in case), AND I have a small pearl handled, gold fitted little 22, can I be Duck's counterpart in dealing with smokers who have no respect for the rest of our valued passenger's comfort and enjoyment?

 

In other words, can I shoot the idiots who give me a bad reputation by smoking wherever they darned well feel like it? Please! Let me shoot um...

 

Marsha

[brigittetom]

Ohhhhhh, Please could I be in charge of Guest Relations and handle the complainers??????

[Danno]

Ladyputt...you're hired!! Oh, and keep the small gun (I think DUCK may suffer from barrel envy ;) )

 

 

Brigette...I don't think we'll have many complainers, but just in case...there's an office waiting with your name on it.

 

Newt...welcome aboard...did I meantion we only offer Canadian beer??

[dublin]

Ok Dublin you're in....sorry I should have responded earlier...I like your attitude and I'm Irish!!

 

 

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

 

Get in line - first excursion is to Maui. We will do nothing but watch the sea roll in and out and sip fancy drinks with little umbrellas and have some fresh pineapple.

 

Hula lessons are an option.

[reggierail]

I'd like to apply for the past guest appreciation VP position. I will reinstate the $35 fee and send a bottle of champagne to each member on the first formal dinner night.

 

Reggie:D

[Danno]

You're on Reggie!! I don't think we even allow people to join the club until they have have 3 cruises on our fine line...then we offer them membership and thank them for being loyal.

 

We should offer perks that make a cruise even better, rather than discounts...perhaps a nice bottle of wine with dinner one night, complimentary fruit in cabin, perhaps a small amount of laundry done gratis, news letters that inform rather than try to sell us cruises with more COUPONS ...the big things should be done for all our guests...the little touches are just an extra "thank you".

 

Just waiting for your signature on these Reg....any other perks we should offer??

[reggierail]

You're on Reggie!! I don't think we even allow people to join the club until they have have 3 cruises on our fine line...then we offer them membership and thank them for being loyal.

You pay your dues and you get your bennies. After my first cruise on Celebrity, I was more than willing to pay the $35 to join the CC. After all, nothing worthwhile in life is free, well, almost nothing. A smile and a pleasant greeting costs little and gives so much.

Three cruises to become a member it is. Another idea is to give credit for the number of days sailed. For instance, one cruise credit for every 7 days sailed. I feel it's not fair to give 3 credits for 3 three days cruises and 1 credit for an 11 day cruise.:eek:

I have a suggestion about bringing wine or liquor on board the ship. We should price the beverages fairly and if available on the ship, you could not bring your own. If not available on the ship, there should be a fee to bring your own.

 

Reggie:D

[Danno]

Reg...I would prefer a fee of $50 (or more) and we donate it too the charity that our member specifies on his/her enrolment card. Or perhaps we donate it to the local schools on some of the islands we visit...be nice to do something more than leave our money at Columbian Emeralds and our garbage on their beaches.

 

 

Wine with a fair corkage fee...say $20...a request that 3 per cabin would be fair to our guests and our staff.

 

 

It really doesn't matter...the people we cater to won't be really interested in schlepping on large amounts of alcohol to save a buck anyway. We shouldn't have to make or enforce too many rules...common sense and good manners will prevail to make this a non issue.

[reggierail]

...common sense and good manners....

This would solve many problems and should be required of all guests.;)

 

Reggie:D

[TahoeBob]

I would like to get a job working with the kids, I have many years of treating they good, my thinking is that if any of them say anything out of line or acts like a snot off they go, over the edge and into the shark infested water.

 

Bob

[C 2 C]

Corkage fee???

 

Depending on your vintage.... my $3.. bottle of two buck chuck does not require that degree of care...why should there be a 400% markup on wine.. vin ordinaire selling for $6.00 retail.... California or Chilean Cabernet... should not cost $30.00 at the table...

 

Some lines used to allow you to buy the hard stuff on board for a 15 to 20% markup for cabin consumption... fair deal.. $6 BUCKS A SHOT/GLASS is not a fair markup...

[Michuck]

I apply for the job as taste tester - everything out of the kitchen gets tasted by me to be sure it's of excellent taste.

 

I also apply for the job of sun tester - I'd lie out on deck everyday all day and report to passengers sun strength, etc., so no one would get too burned on their vacation. This would, of course, include walk-arounds telling folks when it's time to turn over. This would include keeping my eye out for chair hogs. Any one leaving their chairs with things in it for a period of unacceptable time, will (1) first have their items thrown overboard, (2) be thrown overboard themselves when returning. In the event of inclement weather, I won't even request the day off - I'll just stay in the solarium and make sure the temperature is always at a perfect level, and the bird chirping doesn't get too loud.

 

Since both of the above jobs can be accomplished during daytime hours, I request the job of casino checker. I will be given $500 per nite to randomly check the slots machines to see if they are in working order, and to sit at the blackjack tables to make sure the dealers are being friendly with the passengers. I can lose the $500 without penalty, however, whatever I should win by night's end, is mine to keep.

 

So, do I get the job(s)?? I work with attorneys, and they can have an employment contract drafted immediately.

 

Michele

[Danno]

Michele...you don't really think we are going to pay you to do this job...do you??

[Michuck]

You don't have to pay me! Now am I hired?

 

Oh, one more thing, I will, of course, require exclusive use of a lounge chair in the best location. My assistant (did I tell you I needed an assistant?) will sit in my chair while I'm performing my duties.

 

Michele

[Danno]

Ok you're hired...if hired is the right term when you're not being paid.

 

 

Newt....the beer order is here!!! Where am I supposed to put all this stuff!! Who ordered the BILLY beer??? I told you Canadian beer only!!

 

Ok...so now we have about 40 VP'S, a president for life, a queen and a princess...if we could find a village idiot we may well become Air Canada!!!

 

I've just about closed the deal on Horizon...that Jack is a schrewd man..got him to throw in the trailer and I'll park her in the back yard here at work until we're ready...I could use a bit a help winterizing this thing if some of you VP's are available...to you think 3 jugs of anti-freeze will be enough??

[gkm]

Danno,

 

I was starting to get confused so have compiled a list of the filled positions so far for the new ship. They are listed below:

 

Danno - President for life

DJK aka a DON - V.P. for a while

Duck - V.P. just because has a gun and scares me

Lois - Boss of Social events

Newt - Bar Boss

Ninna (she seems to know everything) - Lecture co-ordinator...

Bruin Steve (he's from the west. He must know good food - Restaurant head

honcho

Longsboyfan -Assistant Cruise Director

judysffw – Queen

Duck – Dress Code Enforcer (with gun)

kokonut – Assistant Dress Code Enforcer

alphl1993 – first aid – medical facility

Basketlady – Princess

kjunea – runs children’s program

Garry – VP in charge of customer happiness (and Lois’ assistant)

Dublin – in charge of shore excursions

kitty9 – Bridge officer

sunphyche – contraband controller

marco – advertising and PR

Ma Bell - VP of descreet and non-intrusive internal ships communications

emptynest1 – Medical officer

Ladyputt – Smoker Enforcer

brigittetom – Guest Relations

reggierail - past guest appreciation VP

Michuck – taste tester (volunteer)

 

Garry:D