What's a 12 y.o. to do after 11pm?

[sjbdtz]

 

Dear Mods: PLEASE close this thread ;).

 

 

And what gives any poster the right to start censoring other people's ability to respond?

 

We all give that ability to the moderators, as part of our terms of use, but we don't give it to each other, unless things have gotten out-of-hand.

[sjbdtz]

Nothing good happens after midnight when you're not in your own bed, no matter how old you are . . . :D

 

 

Oh....I don't know.... I've been in some very good beds after midnight....that were not my own! :rolleyes:

 

 

(I'm talking about hotel rooms....I travel for a living, remember? ) ;)

[sjbdtz]

5. Parents - not Governments:mad:, Popular Opinion, Lady at the end of the Street, Uncle Bob - decide what to do with their kids. God forbid the day that is not true. If you agree visit parentalrights - org.

 

 

Given the state of some parents, this is the single greatest tragedy in our society.

 

The only license needed to procreate is the ability.... and that does not qualify one better than "governments, popular opinion, lady at the end of the street, nor uncle bob", to make critical parenting decisions.

[fin]

CruisnGram, it is because some people don't pay attention unfortunately. You are right, the original post can't be misinterpreted. The sad [art for me was "anything for us to do with our 12 year old", like he's a burden. Poor kid.

 

You and I usually agree. Not so much this time. The statement to me is ambiguous. You interpret it to mean:

 

In what activities can we engage in company with said offspring

 

where it could, imo, just as easily mean

 

In what manner can we effectively dispose of our offspring for awhile. As one might say "what can I do with this soiled towel?"

[mkad1109]

Yes, NCL is family friendly; it is also adult friendly. Sometimes I think some parents with minor children tend to forget that not all places onboard and not all activities are appropriate for children because the cruise line is marketing to and trying to please a broad demographic. That's why they have areas for kids, for adults, and for everyone. There are so many parents who claim that "I paid full fare for my child, therefore my child should be able to go everywhere, do everything, and have access to 100% of the ship." Which is, of course, the same as my claiming that "I paid full fare so I should be allowed to go everywhere, even the kids club." It's that attitude that bothers many adults (both parents and non-parents).

 

You've mentioned "drunk adults" several times as though all adults who travel without children are drunk. You know that's not true. It's a common thing though to take "kids behaving badly" (not yours; just the ones who do) and say, "Well, adults behave badly too..." as if that excuses the kids (or that is, the parents who are not controlling their kids). (And yes, I am a parent and grandparent.)

 

What you describe doing with your kids in the late evening sounds great and appropriate. As long as the places you go haven't been designated as for adults only, such as some of the hot tubs and certain pools.

 

 

beachchick

Uh, No! I am not implying that because adults behave badly too that it excuses bad behavior on the part of children. I AM saying that my children, pre teens and teens do have 100% right to be where they want, when they want with the exception of the places I feel, as a parent, are off limits. I would not allow them in a bar, I would not allow them (in fact have taken them out) of comedy shows that are off color, and that is my attitude. I did pay full fare for them and I will not allow kid haters to tell m that I am ruining my vacation. I will continue to take them to places that I feel are appropriate and ensure that they in turn behave appropriately. Sorry you don't see it like that.

 

I do liken drunk adults to misbehaving children because in my experience it's about on the same percentage! Of course not all adults that travel without children are drunks......And you know not all children behave badly.... Trust me as annoying as children may be to some(not saying you, but as you have chosen to speak in generalities and so will I), drunk adults are just as annoying to me as children are to some of the OP's.

[mkad1109]

Thank you for putting me out of my misery! LOL Seriously, I could not for the life of me understand why people were coming down so hard on the OP. It was driving me nuts.

 

I read and reread and read again her original posting and it always looked the same way to me: What activities can we attend with our 11 year old child after 11 pm. I just could NOT see it any other way.

 

I never even considered that the OP was saying: We want to do some adult things after 11 pm so where can we dump our kid.

 

I still maintain (and the OP has confirmed) that my original thought was correct...they were looking for things they could do in the company of their child after 11 pm. But at least now I understand why so many people were upset by the posting.

 

CG

CG I love your posts and am usually in agreement with you, but this time I think you missed the sarcasm in her post!

[CruisnGram]

CG I love your posts and am usually in agreement with you, but this time I think you missed the sarcasm in her post!

 

Nah, I didn't miss the sarcasm, I ignored it cause she enabled me to finally see what was totally eluding me...the reason for all of the negative posts and that fact that people were reading way too much into the posting and assuming the worst of people. :)

 

There was no need to be snarky back...I love MsBelp. And I think she got my point of view also.

 

CG

[theshortchef]

What is the definition of "kid hater"?

[coka]

I'm reading that around 11 things tend to get a little "adult" & the teen club can hang until later than the tween club...will there be anything for us to do with our 12 y.o. until our teen (16) is done his "partying".?????

 

There will not be anything "scheduled" on board for you to do as you are correct in the difference of teen and tween offerings. Most ships have the shuffleboard and the giant chess but I think they put the pieces away after dark.

 

Check out the library and the game/lifestyle rooms (depending on what ship you are on). Most have a small room where you can play board games, cards, cribbage, etc. They keep the games in the closets of the room.

 

The pool area usually has soft music over the intercom at evening, if no special events are going on. The side areas provide out of wind tables and loungers.

 

Another option is to find the highest open area of the ship, gaze up at the stars with your son and ask his hopes, dreams and aspirations!

 

Whatever you find to do, enjoy those precious moments with him.

 

Have a great cruise!

 

coka

[mkad1109]

Nah, I didn't miss the sarcasm, I ignored it cause she enabled me to finally see what was totally eluding me...the reason for all of the negative posts and that fact that people were reading way too much into the posting and assuming the worst of people. :)

 

There was no need to be snarky back...I love MsBelp. And I think she got my point of view also.

 

CG

Oh, Sorry about that!

[CruisnGram]

Oh, Sorry about that!

 

No problem. ;)

 

CG

[mcase131]

My husband and I have never taken our children on a cruise but we have travelled with friends that brought their kids.( 12 and 14 year of girls)They spent their whole evenings searching the ship to make sure that they were okay. The kids did not want to stay in the cabin by themselves and the oldest always found some excuse to be wandering the ship. Thats no vacation for me. Our friends evenings were always cut short. I am sure they would have loved for the cruise line to provide some kind of evening activity at night but I don't think the girls would have participated. If you bring your childen, expect to have early evenings. Thats just the way it is.

 

On that note - We cruised with Carnival, Valour two years ago and we had four children staying in the room next to us. The parents were across from them. All four children were left in the room by themselves every night, all night. How do I know this, because they jump, scream and have the tv on very, very, loud until the wee hours of the night. Well, since the cruise staff could not controll it. I decided to ring their parents room every five minutes until the noise stopped. If I was up, so were their parents. It took two nights, but after that we had a peacefull sleep for the rest of the cruise.

 

So, if you choose to bring your children, please supervise and remember other people are on vacation to.

:)

[iheartbda]

Would you allow your 12 year old to wander around your downtown by herself at night?

A ship is a small city with crew who have been away from home for months and other passengers who may be predators.

The Op has made it clesr that she has nointention of letting the 12 year old wander alone.:)

 

She should just hang out with you or go to the cabin and watch tv or read a book. IMHO

That's exactly what the OP was asking about...what can they all do together?;)

[fin]

Just now, I rang a friend who works with youths and teens and read the thread, INCLUDING THE TITLE to this person to see what interpretation they put on the question. Instant reaction: They belong in BED!

 

Developmentally, emotionally, socially, mentally and physically, a twelve year old is NOT a "young adult". A pre-teen is a CHILD. Attempting to ignore or disguise this reality has created myriad problems for some societies, including teen pregnancies and std's.

 

This thread is pretty mild and restrained compared to those on other sites where there is little moderating AND where it is possible to change user name at will and be truly anonymous. But it seems pretty obvious that there is a fair amount of animosity about the behavior of some children on cruises. It has been mentioned before, and would make another interesting "poll".

[nyflush]

Just now, I rang a friend who works with youths and teens and read the thread, INCLUDING THE TITLE to this person to see what interpretation they put on the question. Instant reaction: They belong in BED!

 

Fin the OP asked what they can do as a family not what her child could do alone. She could have her child stay in the kids Crew until 1:30 but she wants to be with her child.

Developmentally, emotionally, socially, mentally and physically, a twelve year old is NOT a "young adult". A pre-teen is a CHILD. Attempting to ignore or disguise this reality has created myriad problems for some societies, including teen pregnancies and std's.

 

This has nothing to do with the OP

 

This thread is pretty mild and restrained compared to those on other sites where there is little moderating AND where it is possible to change user name at will and be truly anonymous. But it seems pretty obvious that there is a fair amount of animosity about the behavior of some children on cruises. It has been mentioned before, and would make another interesting "poll".

 

Again this has nothing to do with the OP

[brovol]

It's late and I'm tired too. Mostly of this thread, so this is the last for me for tonight. Here's the part of the OP's post in question:

 

will there be anything for us to do with our 12 y.o. until our teen (16) is done his "partying".?????

 

How could anyone misinterpet that? It point blank says "for us to do with our 12 y.o.". Us, meaning "we, the parents, the adults. The OP didn't change her statement one bit between the original post and when she came back later..not one bit.

 

CG

 

I agree it is clear. The OP does not know what to do with the 12 y.o. from 11 untill 12. The post makes it equally clear that the 12 y.o. is in the kids program untill 11; so, the OP is obviously out doing things with her husband, away from both children. (Are we in agreement so far?).

 

She is, thus, looking for some way to fill the gap from 11 and 12, when the 16 y.o. can attend to the younger sibling. If she were looking for a family activity for her, her husband, and the 12 y.o. to do together, she would have said so, and would not have written the post (and the post title) the way she did.

 

And lastly, why do you, and a few of your cronies, anoint yourselves the "post police"; feeling comfortable criticizing anyone for commenting, or even adding some humor, to an original post? Its the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. Perhaps its time to do some self examination.

[velvetred]

 

 

Finally, I have to call my local Child Protective Services office to report myself for allowing my 12 y/o to escort her sibs 7/9 to get a cookie before bedtime at about 10:30. What a terrible parent I am. They go to the cookie place and come back. Sometimes, I will secretly follow them to ensure all is safe (and to get my own cookie), but there are sometimes that I know my responsible kids will be back in 5 minutes.

 

 

bfree32 - IMHO what you are describing is not safe for three children 12, 9, and 7 to walk the streets at 10:30 pm at night. This is not about your children being responsible, rather it is about the potential for circumstances and happenings outside their control. One only has watch the news to hear heart wrenching stories of the abduction and murder of small children - some from their own beds at home. You know letting them walk the neighborhood at 10:30 is not safe or you would not be following them secretly. I hope nothing happens to your children and yes IMHO, I think it is a matter for child protective services when a parent allows unsupervised 12, 9, and 7 year old children out in the neighborhood at 10:30 at night.

[fin]

Again this has nothing to do with the OP

 

That is your opinion. The OP opened a topic which has generated some interest. It is the opinion of many that the question, including the title, was unambiguous.

 

It is the opinion of others, including one whose opinion I greatly respect, that it most certainly WAS subject to misinterpretation.

 

The degree to which it does relate to the OP is known only by the OP, their children, relatives and close friends. If you read my comments as carefully as I attempt to write them, you will not find anything that I have said or implied that is critical of the OP other than that the post is (and in fact surely WAS) subject to misinterpretation. Had it not been, there would have been no need to make the corrections subsequently.

[fin]

"How could anyone misinterpet that?"

 

How about a CAREFUL re-reading of the thread, including posts which address exactly that issue?

[Mooder]

What continues to amaze me in child-related threads is the confusion between kid-bashing and parent-bashing. Why do people blame the kids for their behavior? And why do parents defend their well-behaved children when bad behavior is being described? If kids are behaving is such a way as to bother other passengers' enjoyment of the cruise, it is the parents of that child who are to blame, NOT the poor neglected (probably bored) children. And if as a parent, your child is not misbehaving, then I am NOT talking about you.

 

THEN we can debate what should and should not be allowed, but lets put the responsibility where it belongs. And YES I think rude, obnoxious adults are just as bad, if not worse, but unfortunately it is far from exclusive to the drunks. Bad behavior is bad behavior.

 

Finally, for the most part I think people of all ages are very well behaved on cruises (compared to at my local mall) and I always assume it is because we are all so happy! :)

[veggie59]

This thread is quite entertaining. Wish I was reading 'live' last night.

 

Couple of add ons....Re: backtracking from original statements: Veggie is the one backtracking. His original statement basically lumps ALMOST ALL parents into the same group = carefree, unsupervised, lack of discipline. I suspect that a small MINORITY of parents do not appropriately supervise their kids.

 

I would add to the list of adult offenses: Inappropriate language that I have to somehow filter from my children.

 

Finally, I have to call my local Child Protective Services office to report myself for allowing my 12 y/o to escort her sibs 7/9 to get a cookie before bedtime at about 10:30. What a terrible parent I am. They go to the cookie place and come back. Sometimes, I will secretly follow them to ensure all is safe (and to get my own cookie), but there are sometimes that I know my responsible kids will be back in 5 minutes.

 

The point is I know my kids will act appropriately. Don't tell us how to raise our kids or when we should go to bed. In exchange, I am pretty sure that my kids won't splash you in a whirlpool. I know they won't be running down the halls at midnight and I know they won't be dancing/gambling with you at Midnight

 

Veggie isnt backtracking....SHE is stating HER opinion....just like you stated yours.

[nyflush]

"How could anyone misinterpet that?"

 

How about a CAREFUL re-reading of the thread, including posts which address exactly that issue?

 

Sorry if some posters here misinterpreted the OP question. She is asking what to do with her 12 year at 11pm. I for one do not see how this opens the door for posters to use this board as one's personal fiefdom to pass Biased opinions on parenting.

 

If anyone misunderstood her question I think she makes it very clear in post #44:

 

OK....Seriously, I wasn't expecting such horrid responses! We LOVE having our kids with us on vacation...soon enough....way too soon..they'll be on vacations of their own...I was really just wondering if we could all see any shows at that hour, or bands on board, or lounges that would be OK...I'm sure by midnight all four of us(including the 16y.o) will be headed to our cabin (an inside I'm not really looking forward to spending much time in!

To all those with "real" suggestions...thanks..the pool...the decks...even maybe a game of scrabble..thanks again. To those who think a 12 y.o. should be in bed by 11 in the middle of July...on vacation...wow! Just wow!

Again...I didn't mean what could he do ALONE...I was trying to say...what fun things can we do TOGETHER.??????

 

Maybe someone should start a new thread:)

[luddite]

OP asked what to do with 12 yr old after 11 PM.

I thought 'tuck 'em into bed' was the best and also most popular answer. I mean, sure there was a lot of side-tracked nonsense in a lot of replies, but all-in-all she got good advice.

[LBS1]

I'm all for letting both your 12 and 16 year old stay out unsupervised as long as they want. After all your all on vacation.

 

Just think how much more fun it will be next year, with your new grandchild.

 

NOT!!!

[iheartbda]

OP asked what to do with 12 yr old after 11 PM.

I thought 'tuck 'em into bed' was the best and also most popular answer. I mean, sure there was a lot of side-tracked nonsense in a lot of replies, but all-in-all she got good advice.

Tuck 'em into bed"? If the OP wants to stay up later and do something together with the child, that's their perogative.:)