"The Suite Life of the Dawn Queen on The Dawn Fool's Cruise 3-28-09"

[fltchr36]

JW... I am sorry to hear that you are not doing well. Please take care of yourself. I am waiting to hear about this infamous cocktail party I missed!!;)

[bickee]

Adding myself to the list of people that are LOVING this review!

[CamelliaCity]

:confused:Hello:eek:Anyone out there?

 

Darn, it's like reading a good book and getting toward the end only to find all the pages have been torn out:(

[*Luv2Cruz*]

Not sure what happened but we're taking 14ersco with us TODAY to Bermuda!:D

[pcreek]

I stumbled across this thread yesterday - and have gotten all caught up - literally!

I LOVE your review..feel like I'm right there while reading along..

As you can see, Dawn is my favorite ship. This review has been my virtual cruise this year (saving up for the big 10th anniversary cruise next year - in a spa suite, w/ butler<--first time for that! prolly last, too@! lol Love everything you've written so far!

Is there more??? Please???!??!

[NYHartChapp]

What happened to the rest of the story?

[sircharles]

Pamela: March 26, 2010!

 

JW, Jerome, and several of the other people who were on this cruise are planning to do it all over again! Debbie and I already have plans to be on Freedom of the Seas Feb 7. I'm not sure HOW we will manage but if these guys are going to be on boat, we'll find a way!

[NYHartChapp]

That's terrific, Sir Charles, but what about the cocktail party and the rest of the cruise of last March? Jay Double Yew?

[sraysadler]

Casino Addendum Two:

 

Okay the fun did not stop in the Spinnaker at Howl at the Moon. After everyone went up to bed, well, I went to the Casino.

 

I promised to tell you about my experience with one gal….we named her “Pee Pee Pants”.

Every night, every hour, every minute in the Casino, she would be playing this one single machine…..which also is one of my favorite machines in Las Vegas.

 

She just would not get up from it, not even to go to the bathroom….I know I must have used the "B" word several times.....(What? B word is Betty!...followed by that "B" word)

 

Well, after the Howl show, I went back to the Casino, saying hello to my Mrs. Martini and moving from machine to machine. This gal was not going to budge off that darn slot machine.

 

Well, I looked up, it was 2:30am and wait, what do I see? That gal is getting up from her seat and, though she is walking a bit funny, kind of weird like, she made a mad dash for the exit…..OH JOY!!!!

 

My favorite Machine is finally open!!!!!

 

I am biting my lips, excitement fills the air as I make my way over to the machine.

 

I am pulling my money out of my pocket, I insert my Players Club Card into the machine, I call out to the Waiter to “bring me a Martini!”….

 

then I insert my money, push the button (Max Bet) and……..

 

 

Then………

 

I rapidly sit down……

 

right

 

into

 

a fabric topped stool....

 

filled with a warm liquid that came shooting out from everywhere!!!!!

 

…..eeeeewwww,

 

what the frig is that????

 

I soon realized what it probably was, I knew why the gal never got up to use the bathroom………….

 

I also figured out that she probably was wearing one of those diapers that leaked…..that is why she was walking so funny.

 

Oh well, call me crazy, call me Martini’d out, I was finally on my machine....

 

so, as embarrassed as I was, I just literally SAT there until I lost my twenty bucks….wallowing in her pee pee.

 

I had had enough, and then I walked backwards out of the casino, sopping wet,

 

yuck,

 

that is what happens when you have too much to drink, (see I told you I would tell my "Drink too Much Story"!)

 

I got onto the elevator….thank Gawd no one was with me. To the room!!!

 

I wonder if I could have called my Genie Anchumann?.....Nah.

 

"On Teenie!, On Weenie!, On Itsy! and Bitzy!" "I've Got Pee Pee In My Panties" Now Dash Away Dash Away Dash Away ALL!!!!"

 

And to all a Good Night....Till Samana.

 

Happy Easter everyone! Till Tomorrow!

 

JW and Jerome.

 

 

OMG! I am crying I am laughing so hard. Dh and I are cruising the Dawn next week for the first time, so I found your review and can't stop reading it. I'm just wishing now that we were cruising with you guys!! Hope we find some fellow CC members as fun as you!! Thanks for your amazing review!

[cruiseguys2009]

Okay, I am back, getting my notes together and will begin to finish tomorrow...Promise. In the mean time, we are going to do it all over again with Smooky, Boobalicious, Sam the Weatherman, Osmand Teeth Girl and many others.

 

The Dawn is fantastic and I have heard that Shona will once again reprive her roll as Cruise Director for that week....jsut for us!! Thanks NCL.

 

The delay in finishing the story was because I received a call about having this formerly published and I had to wait for the publisher's first right of refusal.

 

The Cocktail Party and all of the antics will continue, then be prepared for the second novella that begins with our March 26, 2010 adventure.

 

Thank you Cruise Critic!

 

JW aka THE DAWN QUEEN!

[Nickymjw1]

Okay, I am back, getting my notes together and will begin to finish tomorrow...Promise. In the mean time, we are going to do it all over again with Smooky, Boobalicious, Sam the Weatherman, Osmand Teeth Girl and many others.

 

The Dawn is fantastic and I have heard that Shona will once again reprive her roll as Cruise Director for that week....jsut for us!! Thanks NCL.

 

The delay in finishing the story was because I received a call about having this formerly published and I had to wait for the publisher's first right of refusal.

 

The Cocktail Party and all of the antics will continue, then be prepared for the second novella that begins with our March 26, 2010 adventure.

 

Thank you Cruise Critic!

 

JW aka THE DAWN QUEEN!

 

Here's a Martini...now get to writing. YOur fans are waiting!!!! :-)

[cruiseguys2009]

BING BONG BONG BING....The Door Bell again....

 

 

I have a friggin headache, a Perpetual Hangover and I am Over It! What Now???

 

Its Anoop, the Butler, ever so wonderful. He says "Mr. JW, the crew is talking about your cocktail party, the entire staff is coming, may I please bring some food, hor'd'ourves, anything up?"

 

(Had I known it was on the House, well heck, bring a friggin buffet if you like, but well, I was poopy stupie)

 

NO! I exclaimed. "I want everyone to have a drink and GO!" "If we have food, then they will hang around and we will be here all night!" (Selfish me, bitchy me, hell I had a friggin headache from hitting my head....or from a heavenly hangover, who cares, it hurt damnit....I wanted them in and out!) Of the party, dirty minded fool!

 

Where the frigg is Debulicious, she promised me that she would be here by now...its 5:45 and the sail away is at 6:30 and the cocktail party starts at 6 and I am in my friggin UNDER "Wear" (Very sexy too by the way, blue silk with little ships on them, a present from Jerome....only my "Dinghe" keeps popping out of the dock as I am talking to Anoop, having to keep adjusting....so to speak....I hate Boxers.)

 

I call Debulicious.....ring ring (from my handy dandy suite cell phone...such a princess I am), ring rin...".h...e....l...l...o", sleepily she says?

 

"WHERE ARE YOU" (now mind you we just met three days ago)???????

"You were supposed to be here half an hour ago to help me....

 

"Oh shyte (SIC), I fell asleep, we are on our (BING BONG DING DING), way"

 

Oh my Gosh.....JEROME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE C O M P A N EEEEEEEEEE!

 

"JW answer the door, he says naked at the tripple mirror, dick hanging over on the sink, and me in boxer shorts on the bed and Anoop bewildered......(Can ya'all say visual here?)

 

Bing Dang Dong Ding.....Anoop goes for the door.....("Oh Shyte....stop, I have no Party "Wear" on yet.......

 

"HYYYYEEEEEE! How the hell are ya?" "You are so kind" "Whats your name?"

 

Crap, First to arrive, It is Nikki and Doug with their son "Bubba-Licious"

 

Bubba-Licious is a "Special Needs" kinda child, he has a wonderful round body and one Love Handle. He has a breathing tube out of the top, and a wonderful sealed tight head with a hole in it. Did I mention that his bodily fluids are pure Vodka and can hold an entire bottle of Vodka?

 

You see, Bubba-Licious is one of those 7-11 all you can drink for the rest of your life KEGS and Dougie was never seen without it......and funny....it was always FULL with BOOZE.....thats why I call it their CHILD.....he cradled that thing like a baby with Mother's Milk.....well hey....to me Kettle One is Mothers Milk too.

 

 

 

Oh my gawd, people are here....I don't have the martini's made, I am in my under "Wear" (really cute silky things thou, but still).

 

Bing Bong Ding Dang Ding...More people....shyte!..... Anoop opens the door...(What would we do without a Butler?)

 

Jerome from the bathroom...."Now who's Here?????" What a bitch! Hello we are having a Sailaway cocktail party....I hit my head not you!!!!!!!!!!!!You need some clothes on pretty boy!!!!!

 

"I know JW, but I have not dressed yet!" Well excuse me Cindy Lauper for delaying your entrance....do ya want me to have everyone line up down the long hallway till you have your pants on??? Oh Pahlezze!

 

I am the one greeting the guests in my skivies with "Captain Morgan" hanging out......and I am not singing "Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weenier..."

 

Can I PUT SOME PANTS ON PLEEEEEZE?????

 

Bing Bang Dong Ding Dong...... Anoop opens the door.....

 

Oh thank gawd, it's Debulicious.....where have you been girl??????

 

The look on Sir Charles face was absolutely priceless, for once he was not silent (He had nothing to drink yet)

[cruiseguys2009]

Well, I finally get Captain Morgan in his proper place and get some clothes on and well, it seems that everyone shows up at the same time...

 

I guess there was that line outside after all.....

 

Next came Silc (remember her pouring out of the St Thomas Taxi....and Mr Silc and Musicman and Ms Muzak, then came the Gorgeous Mike Lawyer/Accountant (I was GaGa.....not as in Lady GaGa, but heck he was gorgeous so just sit there and be pretty and straight!) and his equally stunning wife (oh she is soooo pretty) and their wonderful child....

 

then came the Hotel Director Hugo....and Shona!!!!! The Cruise Director and Ray Ray the Assstant Cruise Director

 

Well by this time I had a fabuluos Cocktail Party "Wear " on and was mixing and pouring and mixing and pouring...

 

 

Bing Bang Dong Ding.....we have a door bell! It's Oh Canada!!!! and her entourage.....

 

She comes up to me as I thought she said "I have brought some food"

 

??????????I said, put it away, the Hotel Director is here, I can't serve it....."

She looks at me puzzled....and says "JW I brought the Booze"....

 

You see, Oh Canada makes Maple Syrup Licquor, and I did not hear her over the music and the conversational voices unitl Miss Nikki says....."JW break out the Maple Shots from Canada!"

 

OOOOOH they waz gooooood.

 

Bing Bong Dong Ding.

 

 

A Parade of stars entered in. Dave and Family, the Pool People we met Samana Day and Gorgeous daughter, and then....

 

HOWL AT THE MOON PERFORMERS.....Jennifer, Ben and Jim....oh my gosh,,,how friggin cool....

 

Pepsodent Osmonds came next, and just as I was pouring a Wisteria Lane Martini for them.....

 

WHOOSH, The dawn for the first time swayed and rocked.....up and down and side to side and yep, I dropped the entire pitcher of martinis on the carpet....and it backsplashed all over my WHITE Cruise Wear....an explosion of Blue! on White, can you say I was Mortified?????

[coka]

OMG Cruiseguys2009, I found and read this entire review last summer. After an abrupt ending I was so so sad! I am now very happy you are finishing it! I have never laughed so hard and you are cracking me up now. Thanks so much for taking the time to finish it! Carry on and I anxiously await the next postings!

 

coka