What should I be thinking of.....

[annf]

I took my mom on her 1st cruise for her 70th birthday in 2008 and she loved it. Not long after we got back she went through what seemed like millions of tests to see where her odd medical symptoms were coming from and in the end was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma. Mom has now had the affected kidney removed, been through radiation and is undergoing pseudo-chemo - actually a drug that is genetic therapy for renal cell cancers - since chemo doesn't touch renal cell cancers. Needless to say, she's been pretty down with all of this. The Drs have said that without treatment she would be gone in 3-6 months. With treatment they are estimating 18-24 months.

 

So, in an effort to give her something to aim for and to keep her spirits up - I've booked a 4 night cruise in Oct to the Bahamas. The timing of the cruise is 5 weeks after she finishes the drug regime. The meds aren't making her ill - just tired. She's still working part time and functioning well on her own. Of course the radiation made her hair fall out, and she is not thrilled with the prospect of having to wear her wig on a cruise. Maybe it will grow by then, since hair loss is not a side effect of the other drug they have her on.

 

For anyone who has been through this sort of treatment - what should I be planning now? I was thinking of renting a wheelchair for ports - just in cases she is tired or not able to do the walking she would want to do in port. What else should I be thinking about ahead of time? Do I need to tell the cruise line that she is post-chemo or anything at all about her illness?

[uppitycats]

I took my mom on her 1st cruise for her 70th birthday in 2008 and she loved it. Not long after we got back she went through what seemed like millions of tests to see where her odd medical symptoms were coming from and in the end was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma. Mom has now had the affected kidney removed, been through radiation and is undergoing pseudo-chemo - actually a drug that is genetic therapy for renal cell cancers - since chemo doesn't touch renal cell cancers. Needless to say, she's been pretty down with all of this. The Drs have said that without treatment she would be gone in 3-6 months. With treatment they are estimating 18-24 months.

 

So, in an effort to give her something to aim for and to keep her spirits up - I've booked a 4 night cruise in Oct to the Bahamas. The timing of the cruise is 5 weeks after she finishes the drug regime. The meds aren't making her ill - just tired. She's still working part time and functioning well on her own. Of course the radiation made her hair fall out, and she is not thrilled with the prospect of having to wear her wig on a cruise. Maybe it will grow by then, since hair loss is not a side effect of the other drug they have her on.

 

For anyone who has been through this sort of treatment - what should I be planning now? I was thinking of renting a wheelchair for ports - just in cases she is tired or not able to do the walking she would want to do in port. What else should I be thinking about ahead of time? Do I need to tell the cruise line that she is post-chemo or anything at all about her illness?

 

I'm very sorry to learn of your mother's illness..

 

As for what to tell the cruiseline -- nothing, unless you expect/need something special from the infirmary.

 

Are you renting a handicap-accessible cabin? Would she need that? If so, then you need to book early to assure that you would get one.

 

As for a wheelchair -- I'm assuming you're talking about a manual wheelchair that you would push, and which would fold up? You might want to look in your local newspaper or shopper's guide. You may well find one for much cheaper than you can rent one. I've seen them for around $50, and then you could use it to help her get through the airport, and even on the ship if she finds walking long distances a challenge.

 

I hope your cruise goes well.

[xxoocruiser]

My prayers go out to your Mom .

 

Been through radiation for Breast Cancer. The fatique was the worst part of it. Think it's wonderful that you have planned something for her to look foward to. But you need to fully understand that the fatigue just doesn't go away when the treatment is over. So you need to be very fleixible with your plans each day while on the ship.

 

Yes a wheel chair should be seriously considered. You have to consider what type ? Are you planning to push her at all times ? If so than it would be cheaper to purchase a transport chair than rent one. If your mother has the ability to wheel herself than you might consider renting or purchasing a used manual wheel chair. This way if she wants to do something else you don't always have to be present. If you want to give both you and your mother the greatest level of flexibility you might consider renting a scooter. Just some food for thought.

 

A wig can be hot to wear especially in the warm climate that you are going. During the day and while in port I would suggest a nice soft lightweight summer hat made of a breathable material. That would be more comfortable than a wig. For dinner and evenings pretty scrafs work very nicely and probably would be more comfortable. The important thing to remember is that your mother is a beautiful woman with or without her hair. It's all about making her feel comfortable with herself.

 

You might also consider requesting a shower stool. Since fatique is an issue being seated while taking a shower would offer her more stablity on the ship. This can be requested through at no charge through Special Needs Department in advance. And it can also be requested through the cabin steward once on board. I always request in advance to make certain.

 

Wish you both well.

[annf]

My prayers go out to your Mom .

 

Been through radiation for Breast Cancer. The fatique was the worst part of it. Think it's wonderful that you have planned something for her to look foward to. But you need to fully understand that the fatigue just doesn't go away when the treatment is over. So you need to be very fleixible with your plans each day while on the ship.

 

Yes a wheel chair should be seriously considered. You have to consider what type ? Are you planning to push her at all times ? If so than it would be cheaper to purchase a transport chair than rent one. If your mother has the ability to wheel herself than you might consider renting or purchasing a used manual wheel chair. This way if she wants to do something else you don't always have to be present. If you want to give both you and your mother the greatest level of flexibility you might consider renting a scooter. Just some food for thought.

 

A wig can be hot to wear especially in the warm climate that you are going. During the day and while in port I would suggest a nice soft lightweight summer hat made of a breathable material. That would be more comfortable than a wig. For dinner and evenings pretty scrafs work very nicely and probably would be more comfortable. The important thing to remember is that your mother is a beautiful woman with or without her hair. It's all about making her feel comfortable with herself.

 

You might also consider requesting a shower stool. Since fatique is an issue being seated while taking a shower would offer her more stablity on the ship. This can be requested through at no charge through Special Needs Department in advance. And it can also be requested through the cabin steward once on board. I always request in advance to make certain.

 

Wish you both well.

 

Thank you for the suggestions. I wish my mom would go anywhere without the wig. I've bought her several adorable turbans and scarves that she is wearing around the house but she won't even go to the dumpster without a wig on. Honestly - the turban looks better than the wig and certainly more comfortable.

 

I don't expect her to have recovered from treatment and have made it clear that she shouldn't be planning on doing everything and going constantly. We'll do what she is up for doing - and if that means sitting on a deck chair in the shade with a book for 5 days, so be it. This is her trip.

 

This cruise is the one thing that got her to stop saying things like 'don't buy me anything for Mother's day, I won't be here to use it'. Negative thoughts and energy like that will do more damage than the cancer and treatment (not to mention it makes me crazy). Since I booked the cruise, all she talks about is whether she can pack yet and what kind of towel animals they'll have. I have no expectations for this cruise other than my mom doing what she is able to do and enjoying herself.

 

Thanks again for your responses and support.

[MFH]

I'm sure you already know, but there are online sites that carry hats made specially for your mom's situation. They cover more of the head, so there's not that space showing where the hairline should be. I had a few of those when I was on chemo, although mine were winter hats. I was much more comfortable in turbans or scarves, and wore them almost everywhere. I wore my wig for "special" occasions.

My mother is more like your mother, she prefers to wear her wig. She finally has some hair growing back, and a few of her friends convinced her she looks adorable with it. I'm hoping she will leave the wig home for our cruise.

If you want, I can look through my stuff and find some of the sites I bought from.

Mona

[annf]

If you want, I can look through my stuff and find some of the sites I bought from.

 

That would be wonderful. I'd love to find something that would make her feel like it's ok to be seen without that blasted wig.

[uppitycats]

Somebody suggested a "transport chair". PLEASE don't consider buying/renting a transport chair!! They really are good ONLY in situations where you're moving a patient around on a flat surface (like tile) floor -- NOT where it's carpeted, and certainly not outdoors on any surface but perhaps level sidewalk. And even then it gets hung up on sidewalk cracks.

 

Do consider buying a manual wheelchair. They're much easier to push if you're doing the main pushing, and indeed she can get around at least a little if she's left alone in the chair (say, while you go off to the bathroom or something! :) )

 

Overcoming a negative attitude is a real challenge..sounds like this cruise might have done it, at least for now! Have a good time, both of you!

[MFH]

That would be wonderful. I'd love to find something that would make her feel like it's ok to be seen without that blasted wig.

 

I think it's great that you're taking your mom on this cruise. There's something about being on the sea that made me feel so at peace after chemo.

Anyway, here are two sites that I've used. They both have hats that would be good for the sun, and protect her tender head!

http://www.headcovers.com/headwear/hats-turbans/

http://www.tlcdirect.org/subcategory/AmericanCancerSocietyYearRoundHats.html?&gclid=COT8-qaQ2JoCFRSfnAod4mjm2w

If they don't work, or if I can't post those here, please feel free to email me.

Mona

[kitty9]

My mom fell on a cruise ship and broke her hip. We didn't think we'd get her on another cruise after that. But after a year and a hip replacement, we went on a cruise to Europe, mom's first trip to Europe. We had a wheelchair, just in case she got tired or needed it for every day use, and booked private tours so we wouldn't have to hassle with buses and crowds. She did great. Unfortunately, two weeks after we returned home, mom had a stroke. We had planned a cruise for the following March, a two week Panama Canal cruise, and although we thought about canceling, mom said no, so we kept the reservation. She did great with her rehab after the stroke and was coming along great, although she would need to use a wheelchair or walker on the cruise. This wasn't going to stop her. But unfortunately, despite coming back to 95% of normal, mom fell and broke her neck and passed away last November. Now all we have are our wonderful memories of all the cruises we took with mom over the years and those memories keep us going.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't put off doing things. You don't know what life will bring. Memories last forever and they are precious.

[Splinter]

I would second the comment about the transport chair...get a real wheelchair. She will be unable to even turn herself around in the transport chair, and they are hell on cobblestones and very hard to push on carpet. No way to really safety get up a curb or one step into a shop with one either, unlike a standard lightweight manual wheelchair (get quick release wheels if possible).

 

I would also recommend trying to get an accessible cabin. You don't want to risk a bathroom fall, and that 6" step into the bathroom can seem like a mountain if you are really fatigued or weak.

 

I would also strongly recommend that you purchase trip insurance the day you book your trip. If you wait, pre-existing conditions are NOT covered, and you might not be able to cancel if her condition worsens, or get her transported back to the USA if she gets sick on the cruise.

[Queenie2]

This is my friend Christy's blog. Hair isn't really important. Ditch the wig and get a lot of scarves. http://panuelogirl.blogspot.com/2009/05/scarf-of-day.html

 

Candy

[unklez]

..... I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't put off doing things. You don't know what life will bring. Memories last forever and they are precious.

 

Kitty hit it on the head. Do enjoy the cruise and have her enjoy the cruise. It might be one of the last things she does with you. She sounds like a good sport. I wish her all the best!

 

Telling the cruise-line can not hurt although how it will help either I do not know. Just be sure to take everything she needs every day to be comfortable, e.g, wheel chair, meds, vitamins, scarves, etc.

[annf]

Thanks for all the great replies and support. It's hard to play the cheerleader all the time with no outlet.

 

Great news from her Dr today - the rash from the Torisel treatments that has been driving her up the wall with itchiness......means it's working. And he promised it would clear up before we leave on the cruise :)

[Starr Mtn]

Although we have "only met on Cruise Critic Message Boards",

please accept my sincere condolences on your Mother's passing.

I read many of your postings and found your comments especially

thoughtful. I appreciate your sharing your cruising

experiences.

[kitty9]

Although we have "only met on Cruise Critic Message Boards",

please accept my sincere condolences on your Mother's passing.

I read many of your postings and found your comments especially

thoughtful. I appreciate your sharing your cruising

experiences.

 

Thank you so very much. Mom was addicted to cruising, and it's going to be very difficult to cruise again without her. Her passing was totally unexpected, which made it all the more difficult.

 

Again, thank you for your kind words.