Lesbian wear on Ventura formal nights.

[moopy]

Please tell me what you all wear on formal nights. I have booked Ventura for October with my 26 year old daughter and she is gay. There are 4 formal nights. I have the glitz and frocks but hell will freeze before I see her in a dress again. Is a well made ladies suit acceptable, she is adorable but not feminine and I don't want her to feel an outcast when she walks into the restaurant.

I have read the posts on P&O about what the regular cruisers expect and they seem very rigid and unfriendly about sticking to the dress code. (There are some nice one's.)

I know we can eat elsewhere on the formal nights but wouldn't that be a shame to miss these occasions.

In case you are wondering why I booked with P&O, my daughter doesn't fly, she wanted to see some of Europe and this ship has a great itinerary and sails from Southampton, it was the right date we wanted to go.

Then I read all the dress code grumbles.

Please let me know what you all wear, we are so looking forward to this trip.

Many thanks.:)

[YellowTJ]

I would rather see hell come to earth than get in a dress. So ... he's my thoughts... ask her... I mean really she might have no reason to not wear soemthing "nice" she may know just what she'd like to wear.;)

 

I avoid formal night. I hate dress up, but for me it's more than a dress to me its some crazy thing made by a straight man to make women stay in their place. Yes yes I'm sure some will say "oh my" to that but lets just take it as an example from above, your kido might think anything of wearing nice or female clothes. I on the other hand would rather not eat with what I seem to think are a bunch of "I have nice clothes so apparently now I can feel good about myself, have money, am smart" or what other silly thing I don't feel when dressed up.

 

I will say formal night is very gendered rolled, males in tuxes and females in dresses. I have been on trips with my lesbian buddies who have worn a tux, and some who wore dresses. Sadly I feel that unless she wants to wear something somewhat female she's going to feel out of place no matter, and that's for her to decide if she'd rather be out of place in a tux and say screw people who can't take it or feel uncomfortable in a dress and submit to society. Or just say I'm on vacation darn it I'm just not going to that mess.

 

There may not be a great solution here, I know what you mean by the "formal police" this board is full of people who think formal night is a night that tuxes and gowns should be worn to which is very gender specific, then you toss someone who's more gender nutural into than and there just isn't any easy anwsers.

[leoandhugh]

I do not understand why you are worried about what others may think. Your daughter is a grown woman and can make up her own mind as to what to wear that she would be comfortable with. I am sure she comes to grips with situations similar to this in her everyday life and she will encounter many more. So long as she is comfortable with who she is and what she wears, that is all that really matters. The fact that you, her mother, is raising the question and not her leads me to believe that you are the one who is concerned - love her for who she is and not what she wears. From one who is gay, this is the best advice I can give you.:)

[moopy]

Thank you for your replies and help. We will be going to the ball, well at least one of them. If the Formal Police are really snooty then its their loss not ours. We would both rather be in the company of people that did not put so much emphasis on what you are wearing rather than your company. My daughter also told me not to power out about it as it wasn't the most important thing about the trip, and she's right. We will just be looking forward to a brilliant time. Its just I have never encountered a holiday where your clothing is so dictated and I have been all round the world. Thank goodness we have sites like this one where so many people can put your mind at rest and bring you back down to earth. Thanks everyone.

[wisebear]

Moopy, to answer your specific question: yes, a suit would be perfectly acceptable. Relax and have a wonderful cruise with your daughter!

[jadesmom78]

I avoid formal night. I hate dress up, but for me it's more than a dress to me its some crazy thing made by a straight man to make women stay in their place. Yes yes I'm sure some will say "oh my" to that but lets just take it as an example from above, your kido might think anything of wearing nice or female clothes.

 

 

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that feels this way...this is how I've felt for many years and I wouldn't be caught dead (ok maybe dead bc then I wouldn't have any control over it) in a dress again! I was worried about this as partner and I are taking our first cruise in October and while I don't know if we will do the formal nights, our regular attire is more on the masculine side than feminine and reading this thread puts my mind at ease that we won't be having to eat room service for every meal because of being banned from the MDR...

[soldham]

Do you know how entirely uncomfortable tux's are? Or ties in general? You want to talk about domination? How about something tightly tied around your neck?

 

For the record I think women in pant suits look smashing!

[angelsbaby1]

I just wanted to give a different perspective about female couples and dressing for formal nights.

Anita (DP) & I love to dress up for formal nights! It's something we don't normally do but we feel it's nice to dress up a couple a times a year (if we're lucky :p)!

I am considered to be the "femme" one, ;) so I wear nice dresses (for formal nights) or skirts or nice pants for dinner on non-formal nights. Anita likes to where a tux for formal nights (and she looks GREAT in them)! The only problem is that we would usually rent her tux and the cost each time would be between $150 and $200 dollars! If we go on two cruises that year, it would be close to $400 :eek:. I decided to purchase her a tux for Valentine's Day and it was just under $300! I'm sure she will get lots of use out of it so hopefully it will be worth the price.

We take formal pictures on each of our cruises and have created a photo album which includes ONLY formal pics! We want to see if we can fill a complete album of formal pictures on different cruises/cruise ships!

Happy sailing everyone!

Angel :)

[TravelingProf]

Moopy,

 

My partner (who does not wear dresses) has worn tailored pant suits on formal nights on some of our previous cruises. We are not big fans of formal night and prefer cruise lines with more casual dress codes. But sometimes we go on ships that do have them. She has never felt out of place. Go and enjoy your cruise and don't sweat the small stuff!

[rangerrobin]

I decided to purchase her a tux for Valentine's Day and it was just under $300! I'm sure she will get lots of use out of it so hopefully it will be worth the price. Happy sailing everyone! Angel :)

 

Right on! Luckily, I own a tux. :cool:

[goodclicks]

I think a smart trouser suit, or a tailored tux (I've seen this on Celebrity), will look lovely, and i don't think your daughter will feel out of place in it. Maybe she could pack something with a bit of sparkle to add to the outfit if she felt she was missing a bit of glitz once she sees what other people are wearing.

 

 

For the record we both wore kilt outfits for formal night, and besides a photographer who was reluctant to take our picture together we felt comfortable.

 

My boyfriend got very drunk and wore a caribbean dress to a sailaway in the caribbean... I'd also had rather a lot of rums that day, but i wasn't so drunk that i'd not have registered disapproving or shocked looks - and i can't recall any. I think that is remarkable considering that P&O is advertised so much in the Daily Mail!

[geoherb]

I've never noticed any women in tuxedos. The lesbians we've met have opted for traditional dresses or dark-colored pants suits. Plenty of other women wear the same. Here's one at Macy's.

[Jools616]

Moopy, I for one would like to thank you for obviously caring and supporting your daughter so much. I think I would get more negativity over my clothing choice from my mom than I would get, or care about, from fellow cruisers. So hats off to you! (Care to adopt?) :)

 

My partner and I have not done formal night before, actually because we generally cruise with two gay guys and they are really against it. But this next time we are planning on it. I think we are both kind of in the middle of the road for lesbians, my wife will wear dresses/skirts but I won't. I can wear some nice black slacks, some low heels and a pretty shirt, or that tailored suit thingy with a glitzy shirt might do too. The rest of the nights I take one pair of khaki/tan pants and one pair of black slacks and just wear a few nicer shirts and that is plenty fine for the casual nights. That is my usual work attire anyway, so it's not a departure for me. Some people even wear jeans/tennis shoes but that is at the bottom of the food chain.

[moopy]

A long time ago now but just came across this link and thought you would like to see my daughter on formal night. After all the thoughts on what she would be comfortable in, she surprised us both and chose a cocktail dress and looked lovely.

 

We had the most wonderful two weeks on Ventura with no complaints at all. We even had hurricane force winds from Le Mistral coming past the South of France. Thank you for all your help way back in 2009.

[buhjoe]

Great thread!

 

My wife and I are going on our first cruise this October and are also worried about formal night. We do not wear dresses or skirts

 

Lots of suggestions regarding pant suits, but we don't own any, and do not want to purchase for one dinner out on the ship.

 

Are nice khakis and a nice shirt acceptable on Carnival Splendor formal nights?

[COMBOY]

Yes, a very nice pant suit would be absolutely fine. Not every women wears dresses or evening gowns to formal night. Even nice slacks and a top would be fine. There is no fashion police at the door nor rigid rules. I'm not sure where you hearing that nonsense. As long as ones is nicely dressed then there is no problem. Take her shopping and have her try on a few things. See what she likes and looks good on her. Keep it simple and nice. Absolutely don't make her ware something she is uncomfortable in. Remember this is a vacation not the senior school dance.

[Marian Paroo]

Do you know how entirely uncomfortable tux's are? Or ties in general? You want to talk about domination? How about something tightly tied around your neck?

 

For the record I think women in pant suits look smashing!

 

I love the look of a tie, both on a man and on a woman.

 

And untying them is like untying the bow on a gift box...:D

[tony11727]

I just returned from 9 nights on the Explorer of the Seas with parents, brother and sister and their families. Brought the Tux for two formal nights and a suit for the semi formal. Turns out I was way over dressed and over packed. So much for dress codes - there were plenty of men in the dining room wearing shorts and sport shirts even on formal nights. Your daughter should where what she feels comfortable in. A good guide would be something she would wear to a wedding or even a business meeting. Skirt, pants, its up to her. Either would be appropriate.

[Marian Paroo]

I just returned from 9 nights on the Explorer of the Seas with parents, brother and sister and their families. Brought the Tux for two formal nights and a suit for the semi formal. Turns out I was way over dressed and over packed. So much for dress codes - there were plenty of men in the dining room wearing shorts and sport shirts even on formal nights. Your daughter should where what she feels comfortable in. A good guide would be something she would wear to a wedding or even a business meeting. Skirt, pants, its up to her. Either would be appropriate.

 

 

 

Terrific reply IMHO.

 

What company is Exlorer with?

 

Want to know in order to avoid it.

 

I like formal nights.