16th July Indy cruise blog.

Long and not nearly finished but quite funny and written by me as me.

Best to be read in a Scots accent.

Foties will follow and this will be continued.

Good day everyone and welcome to the McElwee Family Holiday 2016.

Independence of the Seas cruise 16th July 2016 to the Italian Mediterranean

Let me introduce you to the family. There will be 3 of us travelling

Myself, Ernie. The handsome dashing impulsive eejit who opens his mouth then thinks Oh **** what have I just said.

Kay my lovely (sometimes) wife who qualifies as a fully fledged Hobbit based on her lack of inches. (I have that problem too but not in the height department. Im 5’ 10’’)

And then there is Stuart (12) who is just a typical boy in that he hates everything and nothing is cool enough. Would gladly live in T shirt and shorts and never leave his room.

I will try to do this blog as regularly as I can. No guarantees it will be done daily. This is already day 3 and I'm just starting it.

OK. Day 1 consisted of a 9-30 departure from our house in Greenock Scotland to Glasgow airport which is a 20 mins drive away. To pick up a hired car and drop it at Southampton where we will stay in The Premier Inn overnight. No bother you say. Easy leisurely day I hear you say.

Well you gan go and take a ………. You get my meaning.

Remember I said 9-30 departure. Well This is the McElwee’s i’m talking about. Despite being given approx 3 months notice that we are due to collect the car at 10 am on 15th July, Kay still manages to be 1hr 15 mins late. 10-45 we leave the house. Now 1045 from the house should still be ok to miss most of the traffic on the road and taking the Toll road round Birmingham should be decent too so we wont be too far behind schedule once I get my boot down and get the wee hire car shifting. Well that was a lot of ****e! Anything shifting on that road must have been a plane. Let me continue with the day 1 saga.

We get to the airport. Its torrential rain. No problem, pick up a trolley and get the bags inside.

Right where are all the trolleys, Where are all the trolleys. WHERE THE F ARE THE TROLLEYS!!

I reckon they were inside incase they rust. So we had around a 200 year walk in partial shelter to the main terminal while the heavens were throwing every bit of bathwater over Glasgow Airport.

We get inside kinda wet and find the car hire office. 5 mins there and we were on our way to the car. Now remember the bit about the torrential rain? You remember that right? Well it hadn't stopped (in fact it didn't stop but I will come to that) and our car was over behind car park 3 approx 400 yards away and with no shelter between us and the car. You still remember its pouring with rain right!! Nothing else for it. Jackets on, Kay has 1 brolly and flipflop sandals on. Its not even as if I can run to the car and bring it to them. Cars are not allowed anywhere near the terminal building.

We have to make our way to the car. Excuse my language here but fk me we were soaked to the skin by the time we got to the car. Now the cases and bags were also soaked. In fact you would think we just walked out the Clyde (thats our local river) we were so wet, Now I had to move the car out of its parking bay to get behind it and load the boot. I done so, Kay and Stuart piled into the car and then I took my wee jacket off and jumped in. Instantly the car steams up (obviously) and I/we cant see out the windows. So I move the car approx 30 yards and pull over so we can clear the windows and get ourselves organised and next thing the police have pulled along side me telling me to move. He takes one look at us in the car and to be fair he seen the state we were in. Told me to put my hazards on and just be as quick as I can. The Scottish police can be alright.

Oh! the days drama hasn't started yet.

Well lets continue shall we. We leave Glasgow Airport around 11-30 for what should be approx 90 min to a Service Station just outside Carlisle. Remember 1130 yeah! remember 90 mins yeah! No chance. Torrential rain, high winds and lorries in the outside lane overtaking at 40mph on motorways means its 2 hrs 35mins to get to Southwaite services. So a very quick pee stop and at 2.15 we are away again. Heading down to beyond Birmingham where we will hopefully stop for our meal in just over 3 hours. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. no chance.!!!!!!!

Well finally after 4hrs and 5 minutes of roadworks and some seriously ****e weather we arrived in Keele services at 6.20pm . Still a good 4 hours by my planned timing we should have been here around 3. Ready for a 10 min break then onto the M6 toll round Birmingham and on the M40 by 4 pm. We are now fully 3 hours behind schedule. so we stop for 10/ Quick pee stop and continue. We reach the M6 toll and its lovely quiet and I can get the wee BMW to shift like **** off a shovel. Manage to make up a bit of time and we eventually stop at a service station on the M40 around 8-15pm. We had a munch which took us 30 mins and then we were away again eventually reaching Southampton around 1015 pm. Horrendous. Absolutely horrendous.

Complaint time. To the road planners who decided to do these repairs on the M6 you are idiots. To their gaffers who signed the roadworks off, you are idiots. To the government officials who finally approved those roadworks you are the biggest idiots of them all.

If you can avoid the M6 then please do so.

Check in cuppa tea then crash out! Absolutely knackered!

End of day 1 Thank god!!!!

OK here we go, day 2 and its actually day 1 of our cruise. Everyone has woke up all excited but someone up above does not like me as I have woke up with a bloody crick in my neck and I am struggling to turn my head to the right! Awe FFS!!!! this is just what I need. I drop the lovely BMW flying machine back to Thrifty and get a taxi back to the hotel then head to the wee shop to buy batteries for Kay’s wee doodad (Her battery operated fan, I know what you thought there)

So after getting organised and Kay ironing our clothes (I have a green and white Miami Dolphins polo shirt on) We head to brekkie in the Premier Inn. Decent brekkie to be fair. Everything you could ask for an very tasty. So all happy except me with my sore neck we call the taxi I speak to an English guy who asks where we are going. I read from the script on the wall. City Terminal dock 10 enter by gates at dock 8. Taxi comes and we all pile in. Now remember I have just passed the entrance at gate 8 and the taxi guy drives right past it. So I politely say Do you know its the Indy we are going on mate so he replies with whats your name cause I have you going to Britannia. I tell him MCELWEE and he says oh you are in the wrong taxi. Well considering we were the only people standing there and he came out the car and says something that sounded like MCELWEE that was good enough for us. Anyway no hassle, he turns round and takes us to the Indy. £5 fare plus a quid tip no hassle. The name he actually said was MATLOCK. (close enough)

He showed me it on his data head in the taxi.

Driver paid, porter appeared to take our luggage. Gave him the other £4 change from the taxi and he directs us to the doors. Approx 15 mins later we were onboard. Completely hassle free and very easy. This is where the fun starts. And I mean fun. So far I am typing this on our 2nd sea day and doing it from a vodka blurred memory.

The plan was lets have a wander round the ship. Head up to deck 5, The Promenade, and then work our way up to the top and then see where we go.

NOT A CHANCE! We were on board around 1230. By the time the Muster Drill was to take place Kay and I were half scoofed! Along the Promenade there is a Champagne Bar we decided lets pop in grab a quick drink and continue on our merry way. Well in the Champagne bar the barman asks me if I am from Miami. I say no Greenock, The relevance of the shirt is the green and white hoops of my team Celtic. Next thing a Scots voice says something complimentary about my shirt and Celtic and we started speaking to them. They were Kenny and his wife Caroline and 2 kids. They were from Troon and Kenny and his boy Jack were Celtic fans. That was game over!

The baw was on the slates as they say. We sat and blethered and drank and blethered and drank some more etc etc etc next thing we know its Muster drill time 3-45 and between Beer and vodka Ernie was fu’ and Kay was gibbering like a budgie. Stuart had been and gone and explored many parts of the ship.

Muster Drill was quite long as something happened to a tannoy and it was nearly 4-30 before we were ‘freed’ to start our holiday proper.

So far its been great apart from the drive down and my sore/stiff neck.

Sailaway from Southampton.

The actual sailaway was a bit of a disappointment to be fair. There was no organised pool party or actual sailaway party. Dont get me wrong up the pool area it was not exactly tropical but it was pleasant enough, maybe a little breezy but I reckon there should still have been something organised. We were up the pool bar with our new friends from Troon and there we met lots of other folk from the Facebook page. It was really good finally meeting folk you felt you have known for a while. Evening meal for us is 6pm dining. A little early but it frees up Stuarts evenings to meet his new friends. Stuart disappeared right after dinner and we didn't see him again till midnight. Our table-mates are a lovely family from Poole in Dorset. mum dad, the 2 kids and a gran. All very nice.

After a cracking meal we headed out into the Promenade and had a couple more drinks in the Champagne Bar then we went to the Pyramid lounge.

On the sat night as quizlovers Kay and I went to the Rockwiz. It was a good quiz. All about rocknroll from the 50s to the 90s We tied for 1st place and eejit here had to go up on stage and play air guitar in front of approx 300 people. By this time I was not giving a ****. The Absolute Citreon vodka I had been drinking all day was in my system and it looks like its gonna be there for a fortnight.

I lost the air guitar play off. Lets move on.

As the night wore on we both found ourselves getting more and more tired and after another couple of drinks in the champagne bar we turned in to let a rather drunk and very tired Kay empty the cases and get clothes out to hang.

To summarise 2 days into the cruise its been a rather chaotic start, a rather drunken start and a helluva enjoyable start.

Oh and has anyone seen any complaints about the ship yet? No? Thats good. Just as a wee heads up, I'm writing this as we sail into Gibraltar on day 4 of the cruise and still no complaints about the ship or the staff.

Day 2 (of the cruise)

Now I'm trying to write this from 2 days memory. 1st thing that comes to mind was vodka citron

Here goes, I was up early and went for a wander round the ship. She really is lovely. The decor is reasonably tasteful and classy. Especially in comparison to the Carnival ships. Now Im not criticising Carnival ships im just saying they must have been designed by someone who has not came out of the 60s yet and has taken a lot of hallucagenic drugs.

Anyhow this is the Indy. During my wander I had a little fry up brekkie. Quality.

Kept wandering and eventually back to the room. As I have previously said Kay and I (and Stuart to be fair) like quizzes. So there is a quiz at 1030 every sea day through the cruise. So with Kay and Stuart still asleep I wandered into the quiz and met up with a nice fella called Andy and his wife and son. Now max 6 in a team that means that when the 2 sleeping ogres eventually wake up they will look at the list of whats on and know where I am. We will have 6. Well they didn't appear and after saying my cheerios and see ye tomorrow I eventually found them up in the Windjammer having brunch as by now its 12 noon.

Something happened today that does not usually happen. We went to a quiz in the Schooner bar around 1pm and we left there at 5 to 5 pretty much fu’ We met some people and started blethering and before we knew it the whole afternoon had passed. Seriously that was it, we sat in the Schooner and got pissed.

And you know what night it was? Formal night. Kay had gladrags to get into. I had a suit to put on and we had around an hour to sort it. No chance.

Eventually it was around 6-25 when we got to the King Lear restaurant for what can only be described as a beautiful meal. The setting is lovely. Our table is in a nice position and the company was nice. And sober. Not like the other lot we have befriended. No doubt more of them later in the blog. Well we left the King Lear Stuart said his goodbyes and disappeared into the sunset to find his new found mates, we walked back into the Promenade to have a wander with the intentions of going to a show at 9 and a quiz at half 10. That was our intentions. But…. we bumped into Phil and John and their rentariot wives Lorna and Carol. Hi Ernie Hi Kay blether blether laugh champagne Vodka laugh blether blether Oh theres Dave and Ruth Hi guys pull up chairs blether vodka champagne blether K Royal cocktail and vodka blether blether Ken and Caroline joined us blether blether laugh outrageous laugh loud boisterous laughs blether yak yak and finally joined by Lesley and Mark and their wee cheeky bugger lad Max (great wee guy) and before we knew it the Champagne Bar was closing. It was 1am. Where did the night go! Seriously where did the last 5 hours go?

What a cracking evening with lovely people. At the end Lesley, Mark, Kay and I wandered down thro the casino where the bar was still open. Had a quick nightcap and turned in. Brilliant stuff.

Monday Day 3 of Cruise and another sea day.

As I forgot to put forward our watches and clocks I woke up back of 7 and struggled to get back to sleep. Eventually got up around 8 and went walks around the ship finally sitting in The Schooner bar and done a bit of blogging. BING BONG - Good morning its Cruise Director Joff here and remember the clocks went forward 1 hour and its now 5 past 10. **** I thought it was only 5 past 9.

Well folks. Let me quickly throw in here that 2 days have passed since I started writing Mondays blog. Unbelievable how quick time has passed and how good this cruise is. This is now Thur night.

Ok back to Monday and after missing brekkie I jumped up to Windjammer to bring some rolls and butter and cereal back to the room. Quite simply we spent the day doing a few quizzes as its bedlam up top with a real lack of sun beds. Doing quizzes meant we met more people from our FB group and ended up rattling into the drink and the day flew by with more great and funny people. Outstanding day.

Monday night was Grease night, The RCI production of Grease is quite simply phenomenal.

If you are going on board and its there then get it watched. The cast were sensational, the musical production and sets were very well done.

Then back to the Champagne bar to meet up with the squad. Tonight we had Ken and Caroline, Ruth and Dave and Lesley and Mark along with ourselves. Midnight came and went and it was back to the cabin around 0030 shattered. Oh I have to add the bar staff in The Champagne bar and The Schooner bar are excellent.

TBC.

Hope you enjoy.

The Morgan on the Promenade before we hit the Champagne Bar.

Kay after Muster Drill getting blown to bits on deck 12.

Our window cabin. Was OK. I didn't like the oar they had in the cupboard and the 30 mins a day you had to spend rowing the boat in the lower decks.

Part 2.

Surely after nearly 240 views someone has an opinion on it.

Day 4 Gibralter.

Well what a day this turned out. Amazing.

We were only going to get a taxi to take us up the Rock and get a few photos but we met a family with similar plans and we hired a taxi between us. Its a bit chaotic at the terminal with different taxis and shuttles. Best thing is to ask a local who will be there sorting out shuttles to town and taxis and whatnot they will direct you. Its easy enough but can with so much going on and so many folk its kinda bedlam.

So back to our trip. We had a lady driver called Lily and quite simply I wouldn't take a broken pay poke home to her. But she was fantastic at her job. Good patter, quick retorts and insults to other road users and she was cheeky to the monkeys as they were to the humans. On the way back down she took us the James bond route and she played the James Bond theme and hit the bumps in the road quite hard and took some real hairpin bends with a little more speed than she probably should have but it was great fun and she obviously knows the road well. She had us in her care for around 1 hour 40 mins and dropped us off traumatised in the town centre, Magic and well worth the £22 per person fare.

We spent an hour or so in Gibraltar town doing a little shopping. Can not believe the price of alcohol. A litre of good quality vodka or whisky was around 11 euros or £9.50. But as we dont drink a lot we didn't buy any. Did you buy that last comment? No I didn't think so. It was a little white fib.

We bought 2l of Absolute flavoured Vodka for €22. Some price.

Back to the ship to wash and change for dinner in the King Lear with the nice family from Poole. then a few bevies to pass the time and onto the show. Zoe Tyler. Vocal coach and Loose Woman. Good singer but not my cup of tea. She did get a standing ovation from the music purists but as I said not really my thing.

Back to Champagne bar and the usual mess to end the night. Has anyone detected that we are having an absolute blast. Where is Stuart? I hear you ask. Hardly seen him. He's loving it too.

Day 5. Another sea day.

Ach will do this tomorrw as I am shattered tonight. Toodleoothenoo.

OK Im back now where was I last. Must have been Thurs last week, yeah? Well its now Sunday. Between Bedlam, party nights, days out eating drinking and trying to find the wee ****s that hide in yer clothes wardrobe at night and make yer clothes tighter I will need another cruise when I get back.

Right back to the blog.

Another sea day and after a quick light breakfast as it was a late start we tried to get sun beds around 11-30 and quite simply there was more chance of me winning the grand national next year. Absolute chaos around the pool decks and I heard later of arguments over deck chairs. We just went F- it no deck chairs so we went out onto the Helipad and sat there for an hour or so before heading to the Schooner bar for the quiz at 4-30. We like quizzes as you may have noticed. Meet up again with our friends and some drinking started again. at 5-45 it was back to room for the 2nd formal night (a bit early in the cruise for my liking but heyho)

Once again the meal in the MDR was lovely. Our wait staff are really good and very friendly. Nothing is a problem for them. Another major punch in the nose to the complainers.

TBC……..

Day 6 Villefranche (or Monte Carlo or Die.)

Of the list of places that have excited me as ports of call in this cruise this was number 2. No 1 will be advised in due course.

early brekkie then off the ship via tender. We waited around to get the tender Stuart (remember him) decided it would be nice to have an A La Carte breakfast so we headed to the King Lear and got a table for 3. Now this was special, sitting in the harbour in Villefrance with Nice to our left and Monaco to our right and some cracking yachts floating around outside. By cracking I mean Super Yachts. The like of which you would need to be bordering n Billionaire status to own. Any its stunning site and then the hobbit makes one of her best and most stupid statements by clearly proclaiming ‘Its raining’ Dont be stupid I says. I seen rain there, im telling ye its raining. she says again. Sure enough there was water hitting the window. It was the guys above cleaning the ship.

I mean FFS, mid july in South of France. Only kay could think she would need a brolly to go out.

Brekkie was great, just as we finished brekkie around 40 mins after getting our tender tickets we were called to the tender. Pretty quick if im being honest and we went down and within 10 mins or so we were on the tender heading to the shore. Train station is only a 5 min walk max from the tender then we join a big queue to buy or tickets. All in we probably waited around 40 mins from arriving at station to getting on the train. Train was chockablock. Standing room only and took around 20 mins or so. After getting an elevator and then an enormous escalator to get out the station we were finally in Monaco. The view when you walk out the station was amazing. There are a set of traffic lights right at the station and right there in front of me is an amazing Jet black shiny Ferrarri. What? I dont know what model? I know an Fords and Vauxhalls but not my Ferrari’s

Now jump back a bit and to the lift and escalator. Remember?? Why with all the money in In Monaco do they not just build a tunnel. There are already lots of tunnels for the F1 so why not have a tunnel for the passengers. Based on the elevator and the massive escalator would likely bring you out around the marina area.

Are you reading this Prince of Monaco!! No? Why not!!!!

Anyway we wander down the hill. narrow pavements and fast cars. Its a bloody steep hill and its killing my knees. Its also trying kill Kay cause she slipped on a wet patch (hahahahaha that will be right) and down she went. Hurt her knee and shin. As she was behind me I had no idea she slipped but still I get verbal for not rushing to her aid. Sorry love, the eyes in the back of the head are only available in the female species.

Anyway she’s fine. She always feels much better after giving me pelters about stuff. Not that I care!

Right we are in the Centre of Monte Carlo and its a bit hot and stupid arse here has not brought a bunnet. No time. Hop on hop off bus is coming. So we jump on there. She says lets go upstairs. My bonce is roasting but heyho she wants to punish me for not helping her skid down the pavement. (This is despite the fact I didn't see it happen)An hour or so later we are back at the same place. A wee wander around and into a cafe on the front in Monaco to ‘do lunch’

Quick wander here but have you ever heard such garbage in all yer life. Do lunch?? How do you ‘do lunch’ You eat lunch. You dont do it. Stupid statement!!!!

Anyway onto ‘doing lunch’ sorry eating lunch in a pavement Cafe sitting on Monaco Harbour. Lovely setting people watching was great. A real who’s who of nobody at all apart from poseurs and tourists. Some of the poseurs are unreal. Honest to god, Why would you wear trousers, long sleeve striped shirt and a jumper wrapped around your neck in 80 degree heat unless you are giving it big look at me look at me. Wallopers to a man!! Oh and I got the same specs in a sale in Next for £3 a pair. These spuds prob paid a months wages on a pair of shades. (My months wages not theirs) Jealous? maybe of their life style but certainly not of their dress sense.

Anyway beck to lunch in a harbourside cafe in Monaco. Apart from saying I have done it I would not rush back to the same cafe. A couple of sandwiches and a crepe for my yuppie son and a couple of diet cokes. (see still looking after my physique) it was kinda ****e. Even the crepe wasn't great. How can you balls up a Nutella crepe but some how they did. It was impossible to cut it or tear it. The sandwiches came as a big half baguette sliced up the middle with the filling put in. Now what can be wrong there? Only that I reckon the baguette was not todays and it was as dry as a bone. Overall the experience wasn't great. But the venue, the scenery and the women walking by!! My god the women were stunning (shhhhh Kay is coming. Say no more about the women)

We paid for the lunch. I went into a shop and bought a bunnet. Stuart wanted one too. So 2 bunnets cost me €70. Add in a few key rings and tacky Monte Carlo souvenirs and I rattled

100 yo-yos just like that!. Who cares its only money.

We met a nice family who we then shared a taxi back to Villefranche with and we passed the lovely village of Eze. The driver showed us the houses belong to the U2 band members Bono and The Edge. Nice places. Stopped at wee market place for a goose at whats on offer. Lots of nice scarves and wumminy stuff that Kay likes. I went to the ice cream parlour with Stuart.

So back to the ship and chill for a while and do a wee quiz.

Evening meal again was nice and then a bit of bedlam with the usual suspects to end the night.

You may have noticed I have not went into details on any of the shows we've seen in the theatre. I will do a review of them at the end of the mundane day to day stuff. But let me say this. Ben Mills the former X Factor contestant was my fav overall.

Love this!

Scotsmon...... My A..e

Scotsmon...... My A..e

Haha. Cant take us anywhere.

Loving this review so far! Totally nicking the phrase "half scoofed" for future use. :D We had a very similar experience on our very first cruise - on the Carnival Freedom. Sat at the bar drinking with a few people we'd met and didn't realise we had our muster drill to get to. Not to mention we had to practically run/stumble back to the cabin to pick up our life jackets for it. And we weren't just 'half' scoofed either! All good fun though!

You have me laughing so hard! [emoji23] My best friend is from Scotland and he's a huge Celtic fan! You write as he speaks....it's brilliant!!

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

Fab review looking forward to reading more ...

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

Looking forward to the next instalment-you're giving me alcohol poisoning just reading :D

We board Indy the 13th August

Part 3 will be up later tonight.

Part 3 will be up later tonight.

Looking forward to it.:)

Part 3

Sorry about the lack of pics but its a pain trying get them uploaded on a mac.

Day 8 Citivecchii (Rome)

In Rome we had an excursion booked with a Company called Rome in Limo. We booked with some others we spoke to through the Cruise Critic website. Noel and Simone and their daughter LIbby. There was to be another couple Caroline and her son Kieran but unfortunately Caroline took unwell early on in the cruise and had to pull out. We did find out she was feeling a bit better later on but her holiday had been completely spoiled.

So we met our driver Nic at the port and as we were taken to the car I remembered I had forgotten all the paperwork for our tickets to the Colosseum and the Vatican. ****!! I had to run back on board to get them. Anyway the vehicle was a lovely Mercedes executive van with leather seats and air con. Our journey into Rome took us around and hour. We hit a bit of traffic but not bad. Anyway without going into too much detail as I could right a book about it we went to The Pantheon, The Trevi Fountain, The Parliament building, The Colosseum (which we didn't get in to because of the queues) The Chariot Race place (which was the place where I found the biggest buzz so far. There was something particularly eerie about it. I stood on the edge opposite the ruins where its actually possible to feel the aura around the place. OK maybe thats just me but I found it a particularly stunning place)

Nic took us to an original Italian family run trattoria for a traditional Italian family dining experience.

We had a selection of starters, mains and deserts just put on the table and we helped ourselves. Not at the same time mind. Also with the meal was beer wine and soft drinks as we wanted.

I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Even if the food was not brilliant there was enough to eat and enough of a choice to leave the restaurant with a feeling that you had eaten. All in it was good. It was funny hearing the Italian guys shouting at each other from the kitchen. Was like they were gonna kill each other.

After our meal we went to the Vatican to be met by our guide, Patricia. We had booked the guide through Rome in Limo. Now I have never met anyone with such a passion for religious art and artefacts. She was incredible. Very knowledgeable indeed and an absolute joy to listen to.

She took us aside and advised of procedures and what were going to see and took us through side doors and places where the general public were not allowed into unless accompanied by a guide so we rattled thro some parts of it without being caught up in any queues.

It was a wonderful experience. The Sistine Chapel was wonderful and with Patricia having advised us of the meanings of the paintings on each side and the wonderful painting on the ceiling.

Absolutely immense. Then we left there and went down into the Tomb of the Popes.

This was seriously strange. All around were the slabs covering the tombs of many many popes as you walked through. We saw the tomb of JP1 who was pope for 33 days. I asked Patricia if in her opinion JP1 was the victim of foul play and her answer was an absolute yes! She said in her opinion he was murdered. Although there was no proof she is convinced it happened. So do I!

Anyway out of the tomb and into the wonder of St Peters Cathedral. Wow! The cathedral is stunning! As soon as you enter the main cathedral area you can just the fact that you are in the presence of something special.

I really enjoyed Rome. It was lovely to see and I can now tick if from my bucket list.

The journey back included a stop for souvenirs and some real italian Gelato. Wonderful.

We didn't make the MDR for our meal so went up to Windjammer and had some grub from the buffet. Was ok. Standard buffet fare. Champagne bar and some alcoholic drinks were consumed and evening entertainment will be discussed later.

Day (Next day canny mind the number and Im no scrolling aw the way back) Pisa

As usual I was up kinda early and wandered around before we got off. We had arranged to meet Noel and family again to share a taxi into Pisa. which we did. This time I thought I had forgotten my wallet but as I ran back to the ship I remembered it was in my back pocket of the shorts I was wearing. Plonker!!

So after a slight negotiating with a taxi rep at the port we were in another taxi heading into Pisa. Dropped off right round the corner from the tower. (Do you know there is a tower in Pisa and its a bit squinty) Well I thought it leaned a little. I didn't expect it to be almost ready to fall down. I have not seen any picture which shows the tilt as you can actually see it. It really really does lean to the side. Big time! Was a cracking sight and I am really please I got to see it.

Now the fun begins trying to get my very intellectual son to take a pic of me pushing the tower back up to a straight position. Stuart has zero common sense. Very clever but (ssshhhh a bit thick)

He took around 10 pics all I wanted was for him to have me leaning against the tower by wither him moving or I move. Simple!! No not at all. What a palaver, eventually we kinda got there but I was losing my rag with him. I said right you pose pushing the tower over and he went full on teenager made humphing and shoulders down all yon moody way and fully deserving a skelp round the lug but as where we were you cant do it. Kay giving it big ‘you 2 are a disgrace arguing' and he's like i’ts his fault he wants me to do things’ and ‘Im like im on my holidays I WANT TO TAKE PICTURES!!’ ‘Aye right dont shout’ says Kay ‘IM NOT SHOUTING and NO WONDER IF I AM” aye ye are and yer causing a scene blah blah blah ye get the drift. Typical family argument blowing up over kids being stupid and its all dads fault. So I took the blame (as usual) and we carried on sightseeing round the buildings which were all lovely.

Then this is where Kay thinks she can get one over me wait till ye read this.

‘Whats over there’ she says knowing full well as you can see thro the gates its like a wee market. I play along. ‘Dont know never been here before’ says me. ‘Lets have a look’. Aye ok. So as we wander over I hand her some money, in fact no I dont. I hand her my wallet. Whats that for she says. There might be shops or something and you might want to buy something. ‘Ye think so’ she says ‘No I fkn know so, its a market! ye think im daft or something’ to which Kay replies with this cracker and with this comment you have just got to know my wife ‘Well you have just given me yer wallet!! Boom! Headshot! As usual Kay wins.

Wander around the market, buy some keyring and tat and head back towards the car. There is a lovely wee shop, really nice, on the corner of the square that has some lovely jewellery and stuff and Kay had wander round there and bought some nice things for the xmas tree as she does, (To be 100% fair our christmas tree is always stunning and its all Kays doing.)

So she spends a little money, Stuart gets some Gelato, nice but not quite as good as the Rome one and we head back to Taxi to go back to ship.

As we were back on board early enough we took in a couple of quizzes that were on around the ship in-between chilling and having some of the demon drink.

Now normally I would drink a couple of beers before feeling kinda bloated and then head to the wee nips. My personal preference is Morgans spiced rum. But on this cruise I started on the Absolute Citron vodka with sprite. Oh my god its wonderful. Also rattled more than a few Absolute Mandarin with a touch of orange juice. Not forgetting the Grey Goose and Belvedere Vodkas both with a touch of lemonade (or sprite) Kay has been rattling a drink called a K Royalle. Its like a Prosecco with some red stuff that makes the drink a kind of pinky colour. She really enjoys that.

Just been informed its called Chambord and its a raspberry flavoured liqueur.

Anyway she fair knocks them back.

Where am I?? Ive lost my thread here. Oh aye, we spent the afternoon farting around the ship. Now Im writing this on the last day onboard which is Friday. Pisa was last Saturday. Thats 6 drink induced days ago. I canny mind what we done. Ach disny matter lets move on.

Evening meal with the nice family then showtime and as it was Sat a late one in the Champagne bar then to Schooner bar to listen to the Piano man for a late hour. Sean something. He’s really good and well worth listening to for a while.

Part 4.

I promise I will get some pics up very soon

Day 10 Toulon.

Never left the ship. Me, up early and pounding the boards and corridors then up for a brekkie.

I remember this one ok.

Back to room to get swim shorts on and up to the pool area which was lovely and quiet as most folk had buggered off and were away for the day. Brilliant. No hassle getting sun loungers, Windjammer was quiet and I just lay like a burst couch and waited on Kay coming up.

Eventually after an hour so Kay appeared and promptly said she was starving. She went to lunch and when she came back we just done a bit of sunbathing. 1st time after 9 days on the ship we finally done some sunbathing. We were the only 2 ghostly looking people on board.

After a hour or so Kay was bored and there was quiz somewhere on board so we hit that.

Oh you must be wondering after doing all these quizzes do we actually win some.

Of course we bloody do! Do you think we are daft??

The prizes range from Royal Caribbean Key rings to zip connectors, pens highlighters and even a North Star Royal Caribbean bag which rolls up into a wee ball the she of the North Star thing on the new ships. Prizes are pretty **** to be fair but its the taking part and laughs you get during them They really are great fun.

As I said quiet day. Usual late afternoon stuff and meal and evening spent doing something but cant remember. It will include the Champagne bar and alcohol.

Let me tell where I am now. Its Sunday 31st July at 0745 and I am back home in my chair in the living room trying to remember the past week which has just been a complete blur.It has flown by.

I will skip by day 11 and day 12 as we never left the ship in Malaga just sunbathed and quizzed and drank and farted around generally being on holiday. And on the sea day more of the same plus as we were at sea we went to the casino and lost a little bit of money. $20 to be precise but it took us around an hour to lose it. Let me at this point give you an idea of timelines of our day. Early mornings I was up wandering around the ship trying to put steps on my apple watch. Was always looking for around 15000 steps per day. Then there was usually a quiz around 1.30, 4.30 and 5.15.

On the sea days there was a couple of progressive quizzes one of which almost turned into a fight. The progressive battle of the sexes. The best laughs of the whole cruise were during that.

Oh here!! wait a min!!!! Shhhh this is our little secret. In Malaga while sunbathing and being in and out the pool for an while I was lying beside Kay and she kinda made a sound. Not that kinda im bored ****less sound. (although Kay hates sunbathing) A kinda sound I recognised and her hand touched my hand in a kinda ‘ye game’ type of way. The kind of sound you just know means ‘c’mon then’

The next hour I cant discuss. Lets leave it there for the day. ;)

Lisbon,

“In the heat of Lisbon, the fans came in the thousands, to see the boys become champions 67’”

This was my day. The day I have been waiting for since we booked the cruise. The day I have been waiting for for years. I finally get to visit the Estadio National in Lisbon. Where my team, Celtic became Champions of Europe.

A pilgrimage shall we say. If you're passionate about any sport at all you'll understand this.

Anyway Its Wed morning and Im up wandering about as usual as we dont dock in Lisbon till 12 noon. I thought today I would do a lot of walking so I added a few thousand paces early on by tramping the ship deck by deck then meeting Ken at the Champagne bar at 1215.

There was my Stuart, Kenny, Jack and Amy and myself left the ship and got a taxi outside the dock for €60 return incl a 40 min wait while we paid homage.

Anyway 10 mins in the taxi and we drove into a car park and a groundsman came storming out the office shouting at the taxi driver. Then he saw Kenny’s Celtic jersey and he just went ‘Ah Celtic OK park car there and wait’ Then he opened to taxi doors and in broken English he said ‘stay as long as you like enjoy enjoy’

Now I know there are Celtic fans here regularly but I did not expect that reaction.

He showed us the path to take thro the trees and as we wandered up we could see the stadium coming into view. When we got the Kenny and I just looked at each other with a stupid glaiket ‘wow’ kinda look. You know like a teenybopper meeting a pop star. This was just awesome.

Jaw dropping. Even Stuart who does not like football was impressed. The stadium is very old. It has an unusual style as one side has no stand or terracing, its completely open although you cant see it because of the trees. You need to actually be there. The other 3 sides have a continuous sweeping setting area right round. Its just incredible. We stood for a few mins gazing at it then wandered around I went to the goal where Tommy Gemmell and Stevie Chalmers scored the goals into and stood on approx the spots where they scored from. The feelings inside me where immense. The ball was cut back to Tommy Gemmell approx 20 yards from goal as I stood there I imagined him scoring form that same spot. The fans in the stands behind all going bananas. Wonderful, then I walked over to the spot around the six yard line where the winning goal was scored from. Stuart took a couple of pics as I recreated the goal in my head and I had just scored the goal that won the European Cup for Celtic. My emotions at this point were going haywire. Next was to get to the spot where Billy McNeill was presented with the cup. I wanted to see what he saw. I wanted to be Billy McNeill. I must have been pumped full of adrenalin as I climbed that stairs to the spot but ****!! There are glass doors stopping you from getting into the presentation area. But The kids got in by crawling under the doors at the steps. I wont fit under there but fk it!! Im climbing over the glass panels. Up onto the ledge I went shuffled along the outside of the platform and over the smallest glass panel. I was in (damned if I know how I was gonna get out but I was in)

Oh my god!!! What a view. What a fantastic sight. The tunnel where the player came out from at the start of the match was to my left behind the goal. There is a story goes with that tunnel in that as the players stood in the tunnel before the game the Italian players from Inter Milan were waiting when the Celtic players came out. There was a delay of a few mins. The Italians looked like gods, tall, athletic, tanned, all perfectly honed and looking every bit the part of sportsmen at the top of their game. Then the Celtic players joined them. Looking like Scotsmen, peel wally almost pale blue skin, a little bit sunburnt looking like a squad of guys from Glasgow. Anyway wee Bertie Auld the Celtic No 10, starts singing the Celtic song in the tunnel and the Italians didn't know what to do. They looked at the Scots as if they were mad. But with Bertie and the rest of the team all belting out the song the nerves were gone, the Italians knew they were in for a game and that the Celts were right up for it.

The goal where I had just scored twice into, was to my right, there were thousands of Celtic fans all around me as I lifted the European Cup over my head. My team Celtic were Champions of Europe!

Anyway enough of the dreamy sentimental ****e, lots of pic were taken and the problem of getting back down had still not been addressed. Turns out it was a dawdle. Same climb over the smallest glass panel and shuffle along the edge before the big step down onto terra firma. Sorted!!

Was almost time to head back to the taxi. A quick wander towards the tunnel area and before we knew it the 40 mins had passed. The pilgrimage was over. A few last glances and foties and back to the car. Wonderful experience and I recommend all Celtic fans try to get there.

Hope this gives you an insight into my passion for football (soccer) and Celtic in particular.

Ok back to reality and and the taxi back into town to Hennessy’s bar to watch (would you believe it)

Celtic playing FC Astana away from home in a European CL qualifier. Game finished 1-1.

While the game was on I had a few beers and ciders. Only to quench my thirst you understand. We also had food which being honest was rank rotten. The burger was around 6 inches tall and was impossible to cook thro correctly so when it came the inside was so pink it was almost still alive.

At some time during the game the wives joined us in the pub. Remember them. They were supposed to go shopping but ended up sitting having a liquid lunch in a wine bar somewhere.

Oh and all the while Kay was having a nightmare because she was on the verge of running out of hair gel/spray/laquer/whatever it she uses. So after the game we had to go wandering round shops looking for something for her hair.

Right folks had a wee break at that point and I am now back hoping to finish the blog today.

Its now Monday morning 1st August and yes, I made it to work although the thought of doing any work can go and play with the traffic. There will be virtually hee haw work done today.

Now back to the bane of my life. Kay’s hair! Think im kidding, wait till what happens tomorrow. I think she found something although im not sure what it was because when we left the shop she had a wee bag in her hand. No idea what was in it!

Wandered back to the ship via a wee ice cream shop cause it was scorchio. We were looking for a proper Sporting Lisbon top for my oldest son but all we could see was the fake ones in the street trinket shops. Back to the ship and change for dinner. No MDR tonight as it was back of 6 when we got to ship. Windjammer for meal, kinda rubbish tonight and then to the show. A Take That tribute band. Will be discussed later. Guess where we ended up? go on guess??? Champagne Bar. with our friends. Can you remember them all? Ken and Caroline, Ruth and Dave, Lesley and Mark, Phil and john and their still rentariot wives Carol and Lorna. Quiet night tonight, probably just as well as its been a long and fantastic day. Tomorrow is the final formal night and what a brilliant day it turned out to be. (well for some)

Part 5

Thursday. Day whatever 13 maybe? 14 incl the trip down……who cares.

Right now every morning I was up wandering around like a lost soul with my music while Kay and Stuart slept. Remember Stuart? Yes we had a child with us but we hardly ever saw him. He had made friends and just wanted to be with them all the time so no point in having his wee glaiket face tripping him while he was with us, so we gave him a yard and he really took a mile. He had a ball.

On the 6 sea days there was a Progressive team quiz at 10.30. I met a nice family Andy, Nicola and Luke who along with Kay (sometimes) and I made up a team. That ran for an hour or so and was great fun. Joff the cruise director was really good in presenting the quiz. Very slick and funny.

After that it was a bite to eat for Kay as I had already had a munch around 8am. Then a stroll and at 1.30 we had the Progressive Battle of the sexes. Dear me. What started off as friendly quiz on days 1 2 and 3 had got a little nippy by day 4 and almost nuclear by day 5. Day 6 was just chaos.

I blame the wummin myself. Anyway I am now on day 5 of the PBOTS quiz and tensions were running high. The girls were 2-1 up with 1 match tied. By now there was around 50 people playing and the concept was 2 team captains who must give the answer but anyone can offer the captain an answer. So we had folk running form the back of the bar to the captain. We had huddles all over the bar we had wrong answers being accepted as correct, we had half points given for incorrect pronunciation and we had everything but full scale riots. It seemed every question answered correctly was disputed as being wrong. It really was great fun.

Ahh a Wugs Rolls Cuppa and 2 buttered home made scones. Canny beat it. Right where was I?

Aye, the PBOTS quiz. A problems we had was that the questions were taken from a quiz book dated 2013 and times have moved on. Like the next female heir to the throne. Book says Beatrice and actual answer is Charlotte. Stadiums over 60k capacity in UK You can now almost add West Ham to the list but not quite. Sorry girls You aint getting that. And also spelling or pronunciation. Who said ‘Hello Boys’ in the TV advert? Eva Herzigova is the answer. We said Eva Lonigova. We knew who we meant The men described her and the advert almost perfectly. The fact the advert is for WonderBra is completely irrelevant. The men all knew the answer cause we love TV adverts. Just a simple mispronunciation. That got us a half point and the women almost lost the plot. It was mental, it was aggressive, it was passionate, it was chaotic. It was magic and it was great fun.

ill tell who wins when im doing Fridays nonsense. (theres a clue there)

Anyhow quiz over and Casino for another hour and another $20 down the swanned A fart around the ship and a few drinks and back to the same bar for The James Bond Quiz at 4.15 ( I am a Bond fan) and then a Queen (Also a Queen fan, although who isn't really) music quiz at 5.15. 20 questions on Bond I/we got 17 out of 20 right. I/we actually got 18 right to tell the truth but The Hobbit in her wisdom over ruled me on a question and got it wrong. she said Garbage sang the theme from Tomorrow Never Dies when in fact it was Sheryl Crow and as she was writing down the answers she put Garbage. Garbage sang The World is not enough theme.

The 2 I got wrong you will now remember for ever. Ian Flemings house in Jamaica was called Goldeneye and

Anyway onto the Queen quiz and this time Mark came into his own. We were also joined by Stuart for this and he would certainly have contributed but such was Marks superb knowledge it was not needed. He got all 15 correct and won the quiz for us. Our prizes? A North Star bag. Its a wee bag that rolls into a ball and you out in your handbag and you can use it when you are shopping. Whoopppy Doo. Well done Mark. Very good knowledge.

Well After letting the team down in the Bond quiz the Hobbit decided to leave to get ready for the third and final Formal night of the cruise. This was around 10 past 5. Now as this tale goes on remember the time 10 past 5. Now between the 2 quizzes I had nipped into the cabin/stateroom and had a shower and shave. Took me around 10 mins and I back in the bar and on the vodka again.

Kay left and we passed each other at the cabin door. 10 past 5. Remember.

Now the Queen quiz was so good and the answers were all singalong stuff By the time we had reached Bohemian Rhapsody, John the quiz master, decided to pass the Mic around the room and lots of people sang every word to the song between us all. It was brilliant stuff. Really good fun.

By now it was 6pm when I went back to put my suit and tie on hoping to be sat at the table for 6-15.

Remember 10 past 5.

No chance. Disaster upon disaster. Kay cant get her hair to sit nice. To me it looked perfectly fine but to her it probably looked liked Harpo Marx’s hair. It was fine!! Anyway between the imaginary bad hair that was perfectly fine and the cabin being roasting hot yet the air con was at the coldest setting she had still not got sorted by 6-30. Remember 10 past 5. By this time me and Stuart had had enough and decided to leave her to it and head to the dining room. See you there and remember the doors close at 6-45 for the 6pm sitting. 6-45 came and went and at 6-50 they closed the doors and no sign of Kay. Ah well she can get pizza later. By 8pm we left the dining room and I wandered out to the Champagne Bar where Kay was sitting with a face like thunder. All I done was smiled. Never said anything and neither did she. When you've been married nearly 30 years sometimes a look is enough. I got myself a drink. Asked her if she wanted one. Was told No! sharply and went ‘suit yersel’

Remember 10 past 5. And remember that by writing this im gonna get killed by a very angry Hobbit.

So the night went on and Kay decided not to have much to drink. I just had my usual few and any tensions that were in the air at 8 were gone by 8-10. Carol was in full flow and had us all in stitches with really funny comments and a few cracking one liners. The night passed so quick that we missed the late show and before we knew it was almost time to visit Sorrento’s for Kay’s pizza.

Im an awful man but she knows I love her.

There I've told yeez all!

Time for bed.

Really enjoyed your post, it was like we are related as your days seem to end the same way as most of ours, where has the day gone. I have been trying to read in my best Scottish accent and was left laughing myself silly. Being an Aussie I work with a Scotsman who I would love to get to read your post but unfortunately with him being a Rangers supporter will most probably stop when he gets to why you were wearing the Miami shirt. Thanks for making my day.[emoji1]

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Loving this blog, what a brilliant read! Thanks happychappy [emoji38]

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Thanks Tonibrad and Caroline.

Will try to get rest posted tomorrow.

Loving this it's like I'm there with you . Also have "lost" many hours in the Champagne Bar.

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Time for part 6. The saga ending.

Have to say over 1000 views and only around 10 people comment is disappointing. Comments can be complimentry or critical. I don't mind.

Last sea day and a very sad day indeed.

Today was the final rounds of both the Progressive quiz and the BOTS quiz.

I managed to get the Pizza munching Hobbit out of bed and up to the Windjammer for brekkie before we headed to The Pyramid Lounge for the quiz. We almost had a full house in our morning team with Andy, Nicola Luke, Kay and myself. For some reason it seemed to be harder this morning than any other. We didn't win the quiz or come close but we did enjoy them. Andy and co were great company throughout.

Now we had some time to kill before the biggie. We also had to get Sleepy Stinky out his scratcher which was proving more and more difficult as each day passed. He was having a brilliant time with all his new found cronies. He got up had a quick wash fixed his hair and disappeared and the next time we saw him was just before 6pm.

Now it was almost time for the BOTS. By the time Kenny had appeared it was blatantly obvious he had a hangover from last nights session. He looked rough and was on the Fanta. Now I have been very lucky in that I've not had a single morning after headache through the whole cruise.

News of the impending battle must have reached all corners of the ship as there must have been 80 folk squeezing into The Schooner Bar by 1.30. Team Captains were picked. Caroline for the girls and Joe from Sheffield for us guys. 20 questions each one numbers and the team captains had to pick a number.

Questions were asked 1 by 1. Alternated between the baddies who always got question 1 first and the good guys who were 2nd.

For the next half an hour Total Hell inside Stadium’ would be an appropriate headline and one by one questions were asked and answers questioned as to how it was came by. Was anyone googling in the corners? we will never know. All I can say is the guys would not do such a thing. But would the baddies?????? I will leave that open for your own interpretation. Im not casting any accusations anywhere at all.

Incredibly after our history yesterday to take the score to 2-2 todays was to decide who would be the Champions. 10 questions each. Score at 8-8 and incredibly a tie break was to decide the winner. Could not get any closer or could it. Quizmaster John asked the question. Both teams were to write down the answer. The girls answered correctly. What would the men do. Did they get it right?????? Yes they did. A draw after 1 tiebreak question. John decided such is the tension in the room and how late we were that no more questions would be asked. Final score 2-2 after 6 rounds.

Incredible. There was a load of medals for the winning team. They were distributed around room to be fair and there was some champagne provided by RCCI to all involved in making this the funniest and most competitive quiz I have ever been involved in. Folks of all ages and from all over the UK and US were involved over the 6 days. It really is great fun. If your going on any RCCI cruise and the PBOTS quiz is on get yourself along to it.

We all just chilled that afternoon and done a bit of packing for our impending departure tomorrow then met up for The Beatles quiz at 5-15 which again thanks to Mark for some obscure Beatles knowledge we got I think it was 14 correct and won the quiz. Maybe it was 13. It was 13. We didn't get Roll over Beethoven. we thought that was Rock n Roll Music and another one canny mind it. Remember i’m writing this 4 days after the event. Oh and I dont suit a man bag!

Anyway time for shower shave and get ready for our last meal and evening together. gonna be tears tonight. I can feel it.

After our final meal with John, Nicky Valerie, Ben and Ellie and a few photos with our fabulous waiters Ramir and Made (pronounced Maddie) What a great crew to share meal time with it was back to the Champagne Bar. The whole squad were there over the course of the night. It was a quiet and subdued night. As I was driving around 9am in the morning I was not drinking any alcohol that night. We all sat and reminisced over the last 14 days and how we did not know each other then but were all firm friends now and hopefully would stay that way. Near the end of the night wee Max made an appearance and Lesley took some pics of us. He is a cheeky wee monkey but a lovely wee lad. Kay and I disappeared to finish off our packing and I took him along and showed him a Scottish £20 note. He had never seen one before so he left £20 richer.

We finished packing, put the cases out and guess where we headed back to. Yip Your right

Last hour or so said our cheerios and left. Was sad. There was tears and very complimentary comments. Mark I will always remember what you said to me and thank you very much. Im sure if we lived closer together we would be really good mates. Lesley I am sure we will continue to chat away on the book of faces messenger page.

Dave and Ruth were such a lovely couple who made themselves very much at home and comfortable in our company and I believe they said this was the best cruise they have ever had. If I had a small part in that then im delighted to have helped you enjoy. Your company certainly helped Kay and I enjoy ours. Ken and Caroline as we live around 30 miles part I am sure we will meet up again and probably very soon. Phil and Carol and John and Lorna it was hilarious meeting you. Ladies I know I have given you a hard time on here but its because I know you will take it in good humour in the way was written. I hold you all in very high regards. A wonderful group of people. The others we met Maureen and Bob, Beverley and Mike. Emma and her family. I wont forget Emma’s tantrum when she found our her dad voted Yes in the Scottish referendum. As did I and would do so again. Caroline I really hope you feel better soon and Kay said I should apologise to you as she said I was quite rude and abrupt when we met that last night and I was in a hurry to get somewhere. If I was then I really do apologise. I certainly did not mean to be.

Sat morning and off the ship.

Very very easy departure. We walked off bang on time and within 5 mins we had out luggage and were outside the terminal building. Departure was so much wiser and better organised than Carnival in both New York an Miami. Picked up our car. A cracking BMW 330d GT. An absolute flying machine, Pity the M6 is a car park in many places and even on a sat its a shambles.

Oh and England You really need to have a cull on the amount of cars or drivers on your roads. Your roads are ridiculously busy. Even at 9.30 on a Sat morning the M3 and A34 were just crazy.

On a Sat morning I could drive from Greenock to Edinburgh without seeing a single break light and do the journey of 70 miles in around an hour easy. Between M3, A34 and M40 I hardly hit 60mph.

After eventually being able to shift when we hit the M40 we were cruising along and onto the M6 Toll road. Not long after we left the Toll Road we were parked up on the motorway. Sitting motionless for around 10 mins then moving again for around 10 mins then stop.

Are there people on the M6 closing the motorway for around 10 mins then letting traffic flow again.

I cant understand why the traffic flows the way it does.

Anyway 6.50 pm and we reversed the car into the driveway and got a welcome from Buzz the dug.

End of blog.

Now The shows on the ship.

Zoe Tyler from Loose Women and a voice coach on a talent show. was a very good singer but not my taste of music. Kay liked her but she was not for me.

The MacDonald Brothers from the X Factor I thought would be glorified Karaoke but I was very very wrong. They were quite superb. 2 very talented musicians and really good singers.Their show and choice of music throughout was really good.

Ben Mills also from the X Factor was my fav act of the whole cruise. He is a cracking singer and his set list was brilliant. Commitments, Rod Stewart, Springsteen, Joe Cocker and The Beatles among others was a tremendous 50 min set. He was brilliant.

Neal Austin Comedy and magic show. Quite funny and well delivered but certainly not magic. He had the audience in stitches when his tricks went wrong and as I said his delivery and timing was brilliant.

Violinist Analiza Ching again was really good but not my thing. She played the violin very well!

There was a ventriloquist called Gareth Oliver who we missed cause we got drawn into the company and by all accounts he was sensational. Everyone I spoke to said he was hilarious. Shame we missed him.

Rule The World were a Take That tribute band and im being honest here they were brilliant.

The Gary Barlow and Mark Owen guys really sounded very like them The other 2 guys were decent singers and as a tribute act they had the crowd rocking. Very very good indeed.

Grease one word - Sensational. 2nd word amazing. 3rd word awesome etc etc etc

If you are going on board and its on do not miss it!!

Quest - Joff Eaton is a really good cruise director and Quest is just brilliant. Its really well done and he is very clever with good use of the instant replays on the big screen and great audience and crew participation. Again if you are going on board. Dont miss Quest.

Thats almost it.

High points - Meeting the friends we did. Ramir and Made our waiters in the MDR. The bar staff in the Champagne bar. The quizzes around the ship. Sorrento’s pizza. The drinks package. The Schooner Bar. The cruise director and his staff. All the staff on board. Matthew our room attendant.

Low points - Very thin toilet paper. Air con could have been cooler. The MDR food could have maybe been warmer but im struggling to pick faults here.

As you can guess we had a ball. Sorry it had to end.

Cheers for reading.

Cheery bye.

Awesome thread, thanks for posting. Will be on Indy in December, can't wait.

Scotsmon, my goodness brilliant review,Jack and Victor on a ship.

Still Game,well done.

Gonna give this a wee bump.

Well worth a read.

You are too funny! Thanks for sharing your awesome cruise! Glad you had such a great time!

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Thanks for a very enjoyable read. I used to work with a woman from Dumfries and she's an entertaining story teller, too! :D:)

Heather