Help for Alzheimers patients.

Does NCL have a program to help with Alzheimers patient- ie bracelets or necklaces with GPS onboard?

Does NCL have a program to help with Alzheimers patient- ie bracelets or necklaces with GPS onboard?

To my knowledge none of them do. When I sailed with my mother about a year before her death, when she was severely demented, I was advised that the cruise lines' liability insurance allowed them to have no interaction or responsibility for the pax at any time. It was my DS, BIL and my responsibility to ensure that she was observed 24/7 (and that meant that someone had to be awake at all times to monitor her). They would not assist with getting her wheelchair onto or off of the ship, or anything else.

I'm not sure I'd take someone who is severly in the "throes" of dementia on a cruise...my grandmother suffered with this and she'd get VERY upset when she wasn't aware of what was going on--some paranoia and being "cantankerous" is part of this horrible disease.

Mother is not that bad yet. I was just wondering. You can never take too many precautions. Most day she's o.k. just a few bad days every ow and then.

Good post as the only issue I would have is the times they get a little grouchy, angry or throw a fit. Unfortunately, a cruise is not meant have qualified care for all as that's not the purposes of a cruise.

Hope your's goes well...

Crusie lines cannot accomodate every medical condition. People will need to bring their own ID braceletes or tracking devices. Anyone who really needs to be supervised, should be supervised by the people traveling with them.

Mother is not that bad yet. I was just wondering. You can never take too many precautions. Most day she's o.k. just a few bad days every ow and then.

My father had this. For several years he was like a 5 year old. My sister took him to visit his mother. My father was only 60 at this time-he was diagnoised at age 56.

He became very confused, not being in his normal suroundings and his dementa increased DRASTICIALLY. We had to have him flown home heavily sedated in a small chartered plane and my cousin's wife who was a RN flew with him and my sister. Now this was back in 1980 but I remember that cost my mother around $2000. I would hate to think what it would cost today. He was flown from Mississippi to Georgia, so it was not that far.

We had to put him in a nursing home. Before this we cared for him at home. He never spoke again or even acted as though he knew who we were. He also had to be diapered like an infant and bathed etc. after this. Tha tis how bad he worsened mentally and this was like in a few days time. He died a couple of years later.

After this happened the doctor told us we should have NEVER taken him out of familiar suroundings. My mom felt so bad, she did not realize this as the doctor had not told her beforehand. I don't blame the doctor, he probally thought we would not try to take Dad anywhere since Dad needed so much care as it was.

My mom thought she and my sister were doing a good thing taking Dad to visit his 80 year old mother and his brothers and sisters who lived near his mother. Poor Mom thought it would be good for him and maybe even help his mental state-NOT make it worse.

so I advise you to talk to her doctor before you do this.

I'm an RN and my sister is an attorney, and my mother would have had a fit if we had left her at home, because she was a dyed in the wool cruiser for nearly 30 years by that time. The three of us arranged our sleep and shore time so that one or more of us were always with her (and, yes, we took her ashore except for the tender day in Sitka, because her chair could not go).

She never tried to wander. In fact, our biggest problem was the day (when we were out in the middle of the Gulf of Alaska), that she told us we needed to take her downstairs to the front desk so that she could get a taxi to go home, and couldn't understand why this was impossible, even though she was able to tell us that she was on a cruise ship.

And she did not have Alzheimers, she had multi infarct dementia, which can be either better or worse than AD, depending on the extent of the damage. But it is important to check with your loved one's health care provider to see how they feel travel will affect them.

As with any medical condition each person is different and at different stages. My Grandma has Alzheimer's and I would not take her on any trip (road, air, cruise etc.). But that's just our situation. My heart goes out to you, caring for a loved one with this disease is heartbreaking.

Mother is not that bad yet. I was just wondering. You can never take too many precautions. Most day she's o.k. just a few bad days every ow and then.

I am sure that you want to make some happy memories with your mother before she does get too confused to travel. There are some things you should consider:

• Does she sleep through the night, or is she inclined to get up and wander? It would probably be safer to have someone sharing a room with her.
  
• Is she likely to get upset if she loses sight of you, or if she is in a crowd of unfamiliar faces?
  
• How is she when away from her usual places and routine?
  
• Does she get agitated towards the end of the day and start checking her possessions and packing and re-packing them? This is called "sundowning".

I don't want to put a downer on your plans, but here is what we experienced when my cousin came to visit us. We had no idea whatsoever that she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Her son did tell us that she was "a bit loopy at times", but that was all the warning we had.

This is a long story, so sit back and laugh with us, because if we couldn't laugh about it, we would cry.

Cousin B flew from the UK, via the US, to New Zealand - she made her own bookings. She got "lost" en route, missing her connection at Los Angeles. Her son (who lives in New York) had to send someone to find her, put her in a hotel overnight, and see her onto the plane (re-booked flight) the following day.

When Cousin B arrived in Auckland, a day late, she had 2 huge suitcases (both half-full) and 2 carry-on bags. At our hotel, she declared that she had left her duty-free purchases on the plane. So, back to the airport we went and were fortunate to find that the cleaning staff on the plane had found her duty-free and handed it in. Now we know where to find both the police station and the lost property office at the airport.

Back at the hotel, Cousin B announced that she had lost one carry-on bag, containing a nightdress and an address book. It had been "stolen" somewhere en route. With 4 pieces of luggage, we doubted that she had started out with any more, but we took her to buy new nightwear. We found an address book in one of her other bags.

At the hotel in Auckland, we had interconnecting rooms, with DH and me in one and Cousin B in the other. We left the interconnecting door open. During the night, Cousin B apparently woke and went wandering (in her new nightwear). We discovered this from the hotel staff, who asked how she was and told us that she had appeared at the front desk, unsure of her room number and locked out anyway.

It was Easter Saturday, and we took Cousin B to various places all over Auckland. That night, she discovered that she had lost her purse containing all her credit cards.

The next day (Easter Sunday) we re-traced our route all over Auckland and did not find her credit cards. We spent the afternoon on the phone, trying to notify her credit card companies to cancel the cards and order new ones. This was very difficult, as she had no record of the card numbers. The nice little Indian-sounding guy based who-knows-where almost choked when cousin B did not know if her card was Visa or MasterCard, but piped up that it was issued by "the Forest and Bird Protection Society"!

I found one receipt (with her duty-free purchases) that gave the number of one card. We had to phone her daughter in England, who broke into Cousin B's apartment and found the number of the other card. We had to report the loss of the credit cards to the police. We now know the location of the very few police stations in central Auckland that are open on Easter Sunday!

On Easter Monday, we resumed our planned itinerary. We had planned to give Cousin B a tour of the North Island. It mostly went well, except that she thought that she was in Switzerland when she saw the mountains in the central North Island , and thought that the staff in the garage were very clever to speak English to her. With the 20/20 vision of hindsight, we now know that travelling around was the worst thing we could have done to her.

In Rotorua, Cousin B "stole" DH's reading glasses and slipped them into her handbag, where they joined 6 other pairs of uncertain origin. We only discovered DH's pair when we went to buy new glasses for DH and Cousin B told him not to bother , but to borrow one of her pairs. She then handed him back his own glasses. :D

6 days later, we arrived in Wellington. My mobile phone rang that evening and it was a call from the baggage handlers at Auckland airport. They had found Cousin B's missing bag (which had no ID on it, apart from the flight tag) had opened it and rung every number in the address book they found inside. Her son in New York had then supplied my phone number. As we were going to be back at home the following day, the bag was air freighted to our home town and then delivered by courier to our home, at no charge to Cousin B or us. Full marks to the baggage service in Auckland!

The lost bag proved to contain precisely what Cousin B had said - one nightdress and one address book - nothing more, just a whole lot of empty space.

We had a week at our house, with Cousin B packing and re-packing her stuff every afternoon, and getting lost around the neighbourhood - she blamed the dog for that!

Cousin B had a wonderful visit with my mother, who was in a rest home and had a senile dementia. She visited Mum every day, and neither one of them saw anything wrong with the other. It was a happy time for both of them and, for that alone, we thought it was all worth while.

We put Cousin B onto a plane for her return flight, which happily went well, as we had altered some of her connections and asked for an escort, to stop her from getting lost again.

Would we do it all again? Yes, but we would hope to be better prepared another time. At the time, we found it quite stressful. Cousin B was a lovely person, and it was the last time we saw her in a condition where she was able to travel and hold conversations. She's terminal now.

To the OP: Go. Take your mother, but be prepared to supervise her more than you need to do at home. Make those happy memories!

This is a long story, so sit back and laugh with us, because if we couldn't laugh about it, we would cry.

 

Thanks for sharing your story. I have to say the part about sitting back and laughing instead of crying is as true of a statement about caring for loved ones with Alzheimers as you can find. In our daily situations we find ourselves in with my Grandma all we can do when it's over is laugh a little or else we would just fall apart. Things are "stolen" all the time. One time we had to close our business to run home after she called the police to report that she had been robbed. Yeah, she hadn't it just took all of us a while to find her jewelry. Sorry to go off topic here telling my little story. To the OP I hope you find the answers you are looking for in this thread from everyone that is offering some wonderful advice.

Tanner2, here's a site you might wish to check out. They have links to local chapters of the organization and they would probably be a good resource regarding environmental changes and their effects upon those with the disease. If it were me, I'd contact a local representative, explain what we are considering, and ask their best judgment as to its advisability. In any event, my heart goes out to you and your family as you continue to care for your loved one.

http://alz.org/index.asp

 

LOL, I agree -- Celle, that was a great story to share on this thread! In addition to "the long goodbye" Alzheimer's should be called "laughter and tears." In the middle stages for my grandmother my younger brother's family and I went to visit her -- I walked in carrying my 8 month old niece, who'd fallen asleep in the car. Note -- I was 42 years old at the time -- this becomes important in a minute. My grandmother darted a couple of glances at the pair of us (by this time I'd sat down in a chair and had my niece on my lap) and finally asked... "And what's your dolly's name?" :D (I almost fell off the chair laughing, and I did wake up my niece!) Now, the photo of my grandmother holding her great-grandaughter taken that day is precious beyond words, and bittersweet -- laughter through tears). Celle, your post added a lot to the thread to help the OP realize what he/she might be facing. Thanks for sharing.

 

I am glad to share, and I hope that my story helped. I feel it is incredibly important to make as many happy memories as you can, for they carry you through the bad times. It is heartbreaking to see the progressive deterioration of a loved one and you need some happy thoughts to get through it.

 

Like another poster to this thread, my mother had multi-infact dementia. She was 89 when she died, and had been slowly deteriorating since she was 80.

 

At the time of my cousin's visit, Mum was still able to recognise family members, although she was almost permanently living in the past. By the time she died, she was still a sweet little old lady (she never lost her lovely manners and was unfailingly polite), but she did not recognise me as her daughter - she thought of her daughter as being still a child.

 

What my mother had was, in many ways, very similar to Alzheimer's. She would "pack" every afternoon, in preparation for going overseas to meet my father - he had been dead for 10 years. The nurses knew that, as soon as they saw her big coat appear on the bed, she was about to wander.

 

When my cousin visited, she had not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Her family thought she was still "knocked sideways" by the fairly recent death of her husband. Now we know that her husband's presence had concealed Cousin B's increasing illness. It was our experience with Cousin B's behaviour that helped her immediate family to seek further investigation and reach an eventual diagnosis.

 

My heart goes out to people who are still dealing with loved ones who have Alzheimer's and similar illnesses.

 

I agree with the posters who have said that the OP should seek medical advice before taking his/her mother on a cruise but, subject to that advice, I urge the OP to take mother if possible. You need to make some happy time together.

 

By the way, I have seen (maybe on the Family part of these boards?) that you can buy a portable door alarm, which goes off if the door is opened. Someone suggested it for a wandering toddler, but it might work for a wandering mother too.

I have to agree with checking with the healthcare provider and even the Alzheimers Association, I did last year before taking my mother in law with me on a cruise. She is in early stages of Alzheimers and at times you would not even know when you meet her.

She is not a wanderer, but does get confused and lost easily. I kept her at my side all the time. We were in a room together so that I could keep up with her.

I did learn alot about how far into her Alzheimers she is by being with her 24/7. I will say that it was very stressful and not as relaxing a cruise as other cruises I have taken. But, there were some extremely memorable times and even funny ones that I can laugh at.

The one thing I would I did find out was our waitor and his assistant picked up on her and they were wonderful. They called her "mama" and treated her like she was a queen. I did not give her much time to be alone, or get a thought in her head to go somewhere. She could have never found our stateroom, she could not tell me what the room number was.

I learned that if she was following behind me at the buffet she would lose me, if I went to the right she went to the left. She always goes the opposite direction and that is why she gets lost! If I point it out she laughs and says "I do that?" She does not see her problem at all.

In the last year we have had to take away her car, see that she does eat because if left alone she will tell us that she has, but in reality not. Now, my brother in law and his wife are living with her to watch out for her and see that she does eat. She lost almost 10lbs in a six month time, and absolutely did not need to, she weighed 98lbs and was down to 89lbs. She is 4ft. 11in and has always been very tiny but that was starvation small.

She is now getting back her nourshiment and is weighing a whooping 93lbs.

Another lesson learned was if she tells us that she put her lipstick in her purse and it is not there, you must agree with her. Even if you know it is on the dresser, don't try to tell her, what I have to do is go pick it up and hand it to her. She will look in amazement at me like I am a magician, and somehow it materialized there for me to hand to her.

Aside I had to laugh about the nightgown lost, because my mother inlaw lost her nightgown the second night of our travels. She had to spend the cruise sleeping in one of my beachcoverups!

Whatever you do make sure you plan, and are prepared to be a good partner. Hopefully, there are others in your group to help out. That will give you some rest time.

Cindy

Just a thought that I had while reading this thread. My children get an armband that has their muster station listed on it. They have to keep this on for the duration of the cruise. I wonder if the cruise line would give one of those out to people with memory problems? You could even take a permanent marker and write the cabin number on it in case the person gets lost. You could even write the persons name or the caregivers name on it. It would work like the wristbands that Alzheimer's patients have but would be specific for the ship.

Have you traveled with your mother before? Lately? Take her to a nearby city, but one she doesn't know, and stay in a large hotel with her and take jaunts about town. It'll give you some idea how she will travel. You can always head home if you see it's not working. However , you will have no option "out" if things go awry while at sea. A mildly demented senior has trouble, even after just a 2 or 3 day stay in a hospital, getting back to their home normally. They are often sent to a nursing/rehab center to get reaclimated and strenghthend. Change is very difficult and confusing for them.

Personally I wouldn't do it without a couple trips away from home and definitely a long talk with her doctor.

By the way....most insurance companies won't cover this case, as this is an existing condition that can change daily. Read the policies' fine print. Thus, if there is any problem and you have to get home, you will have to pay out of your pocket.

Just a thought that I had while reading this thread. My children get an armband that has their muster station listed on it. They have to keep this on for the duration of the cruise. I wonder if the cruise line would give one of those out to people with memory problems? You could even take a permanent marker and write the cabin number on it in case the person gets lost. You could even write the persons name or the caregivers name on it. It would work like the wristbands that Alzheimer's patients have but would be specific for the ship.

If there's even the slightest possibility that a senior will wander and get lost, why would you leave them alone?

I hope the armband you put on your children is in a "code" that they only understand. Maybe I'm not as trusting, but I wouldn't want anyone else to know their room number. If they forgot it, they would need to go to the front desk to have me paged. Would seem a whole lot safer.

I too have enjoyed this thread and it is heartening to know that I am 'not the only one'. My wonderful Dad has just been diagnosed with dementia and we have all had a fraught few months. He has started 'attacking' my mother who calls for help and on the last occasion he was taken into a psychiatric assessment unit where he spent three weeks. Of course, my mother was extremely upset and desperate to get him home again. He is nearly 90 and she is 87 and was his sole carer up to a few weeks ago. It is an awful disease and it is so upsetting seeing my father getting worse and worse. He too imagines things have been stolen and has accused my mother of installing a new toilet and buying all sorts of things in the house, which have been there for many years. He often sits and cries because he thinks they are penniless (in fact they have a considerable sum of money in savings) and says he doesn't know what to do about it. He is now home with my mother again (who really cannot cope emotionally with the situation) but he now has carers coming into the home twice a day to offer support and help. We live at the other end of the country to my parents and can only visit them once a month although I do have brothers who take a more active role in helping them out.

I also have a niece who has learning difficulties. She is now 19 years of age but with a mental capacity of a toddler still. My brother and his wife have dreadful problems with her but will not consider having her put in residential care. They are at a stage in their lives where they should be able to enjoy themselves (as me and my husband do on our cruises) but all they have to look forward to are the worries of caring for their daughter albeit that it is a labour of love for them.

I can only admire those of you who take your mentally disturbed relations on cruises etc.

This is a long story, so sit back and laugh with us, because if we couldn't laugh about it, we would cry.

 

Thanks for sharing your story. I have to say the part about sitting back and laughing instead of crying is as true of a statement about caring for loved ones with Alzheimers as you can find. In our daily situations we find ourselves in with my Grandma all we can do when it's over is laugh a little or else we would just fall apart. Things are "stolen" all the time. One time we had to close our business to run home after she called the police to report that she had been robbed. Yeah, she hadn't it just took all of us a while to find her jewelry. Sorry to go off topic here telling my little story. To the OP I hope you find the answers you are looking for in this thread from everyone that is offering some wonderful advice.

 

 

Reading all of these stories has taken me back 12 years and our share of laughter and tears. My grandmother lived with Alzheimers for years, with my Mom being her primary caregiver, before passing away in her sleep at 87 years of age. I admired my mother before I witnessed and helped her care for her Mom but had a whole new appreciation for her afterwards.

 

The mention of things being "stolen" brang back some funny memories for me: Nana was a cat lover her entire life and they seemed to be one of the only things that calmed her down. On more than one occasion, she claimed that someone had kidnapped or stolen her cat, so we would turn the house upside down. We would eventually find the poor thing in the bathroom vanity, locked in a closet or, the best place ever, one of Nana's dresser drawers. While funny for us, the cat never seemed to enjoy it that much.

 

I too hope the suggestions of others on this thread help the OP to make the decision that's best for her/him and their Mother.

Is I will be like my father. My father was only a little older then I am now when he was diagnoised. He was only 63 when he died. He was not 80 like most, he was young to have this horrible disease.

I have already told my husband he was to have NO GUILT about putting me in assisted care when and if that time comes.

Personally I would not travel with a person in the advanced stages of Alzheimers. My grandparents went to Hawaii for their 50th anniversary and my grandfather got "lost" for almost a whole day. A policewoman found him in the end and somehow he was reconnected with my grandmother, but I shudder to think that he could've been taken advantage of, robbed..... or much worse.

It's a cruel world out there. :(

That said, if you are going to bring a person on board who has limited and/or skewed mental capacity, I would not expect the cruise line to be a resource for making the voyage any easier.

Personally I would not travel with a person in the advanced stages of Alzheimers. My grandparents went to Hawaii for their 50th anniversary and my grandfather got "lost" for almost a whole day. A policewoman found him in the end and somehow he was reconnected with my grandmother, but I shudder to think that he could've been taken advantage of, robbed..... or much worse.

 

It's a cruel world out there. :(

 

That said, if you are going to bring a person on board who has limited and/or skewed mental capacity, I would not expect the cruise line to be a resource for making the voyage any easier.

I think that the OP said his/her mother was still in the early stages, so travel could still be possible.

The suggestion made by another poster, to take "mother" away for a few days on a land journey and see how she copes, is a good one.