Parents, please keep track of your kids

[NewCruiseFan]

Recently off the Crown SA (Valpo to BA) cruise. Loved the trip, loved the ports, loved the crew and met loads of great new friends.

 

The downside, a few families were under the mistaken belief that going on holiday meant they could leave their nannies home, dump the kids at the stateroom door and party for 14 days straight. The kids did exactly as could be expected, they got together and tortured the rest of us.

 

These brats threw deck furniture overboard, blocked access to railings on stairwells, dumped their trash on stairs, in halls and everywhere, crashed into other cruisers in their hurry to get somewhere, and, most disgusting of all, defacated in the hall. The Captain and his crew tried to get the parents to do something but were informed "We're on holiday."

 

If this were solely my complaint I would assume I'm simply Scrooge but everyone, including parents, singles and childless couples of the same nationality, was ready to throttle the parents and toss the kids overboard.

 

Towards the end of the cruise one small one clambered on top of the area where tea and coffee are served, held out a packet of cocoa and tried to get any passing adult to get him a cup and hot water - it speaks volumes of the complete lack of patience of the other passengers that no one, in 20 minutes, gave the kid a hand. So, he simply ripped open the cocoa packet and poured it into his mouth, and all over the place. He's 5, where were his parents?

 

Another little boy decided to take one of the few rolling stools from the Casino and roll it down the main, circular stairwell, without regard to anyone who might be coming up. He also rolled himself down and then went to the photo department computer to pound on it. Passengers tried to get kids names, make them stop, anything but never was there a parent. Each time an English speaking passenger tried to step in the kids would claim not to speak English - but, we all knew better as we'd seen them do so on numerous occasions.

 

There were a lot of elderly folks on board, they didn't need the added problem of trying to negotiate their way around unbelievably rude children.

[estherhead]

That sounds awful! I'm sorry for all of you. Any obnoxious people (big or small) in a tight space can really ruin a good time. I have two small tykes of my own and know that we always vacation when kids are in school. I realize that isn't an option for some, but if you don't have children yourselves and don't have to travel at peak times (ie, around the holidays) I highly recommend it. You can't change people. You can wish, but it doesn't get your vacation back.

 

We always cruise the first week of December or the second week of January.

 

As far as hoping this post will change things in the future, the people who post on these boards are people who are in control of their lives enough to want information on how to make their vacations great and probably wouldn't be the ones with wild kids to begin with. I know my kids never leave my sight, unless they are in Camp Carnival and I've heard many parent on here say the same.

 

Sorry we can't help by changing the world.

 

Esther

[ChristinaN]

I'm sorry you ended up with such a bad cruise b/c of some unruly children & lazy parents. I really would think that cruiseline would step in & solve the problem for you since it was so blatant & obvious.

 

Although, I think it is slightly condescending to come into the family cruising section & make a post like this. As a parent cruising with her one year old son, I have seen enough people on Cruise Critic who would rather have me leave my son at home so I try to stick to this section where Family Cruising is accepted. I would hope that most people cruising with their children are doing so to have quality family time & not an opportunity to shirk their responsibilities as parents.

 

Again, I'm really sorry you did have a bad cruise.

[ChristinaN]

 

As far as hoping this post will change things in the future, the people who post on these boards are people who are in control of their lives enough to want information on how to make their vacations great and probably wouldn't be the ones with wild kids to begin with. I know my kids never leave my sight, unless they are in Camp Carnival and I've heard many parent on here say the same.

 

Sorry we can't help by changing the world.

 

Esther

 

Esther, You said much more eloquently than I did. Thx.

[bmgaritty]

Newcruisefan,

Thank you very much for your informative post.

 

Too bad some people took your post as criticism....it actually is a wakeup call to those who are new to cruising with their children.

 

BTW- since it involves families cruising, surprise ...it belongs on a family cruise board!

[serene56]

I do read a few boards--jsut to see what else is out there. There was some wild cruises in the past few weeks. There is a few postings on the NCL board about the kids who were allowed to run rampant all over the ship since the crew could do nothing to stop them.

How sad taht they cant hold the kids untilt heparent could be found-- either they stop their kids from treatingother passengers badly or they get put off. I dont think its fair to other paying passengers who paid to have a holiday also to put up with unruly behavior from any--even adults.

[ckrobyn]

I am about to cruise with my 8 year old daughter, it will be the first cruise for all of us. When I was single and had no children, I really did not want a vacation with screaming unruly children all around me....but you know what? Even the best parents in the world sometimes can't control their kids because kids will just be kids and that's all there is to it. Bottom line is: There are plenty of adult only destinations, so if you don't want to chance being disturbed by a kid who is just being who they are supposed to be......call your TA and book adults only.

 

I don't agree with kids "trashing" the ship or running around unsupervised, but I am a little tired of hearing people complain about kids in general on ships.

[Zeno]

The downside, a few families were under the mistaken belief that going on holiday meant they could leave their nannies home, dump the kids at the stateroom door and party for 14 days straight. The kids did exactly as could be expected, they got together and tortured the rest of us.

 

.

 

It seems to me that NewCruiseFan described a VERY SPECIFIC group of poorly parented children on a specific cruise - YET some people on this board immediately got defensive and decided her/his post was an attack on all children who cruise. Personally this makes me wonder about the extent to which some other children are supervised. I have been pretty lucky in my encounters with cruising children. Most kids are reasonably behaved and most parents take parenting seriously. Of course there are always a few children behaving inappropriately. This tends to happen when parents are not around or in vacation mode to the point where they just can't be bothered. I think other cruisers have a perfect right to expect cruisers who are parents to supervise their children and when this does not happen, they have a perfect right to complain about it. This includes reminding parents just how out of control things can get when parents ignore their responsibilities in favoring of partying. Supervising your children IS a part of family cruising.

[ineedacruise]

If I was in the OP place I would complain too. It is families like the one mentioned that bring their kids on board, head to the bars and casinos and leave them unattended that give the rest of us bad names.

 

I am proud to cruise with my children but I know where they are every minute and if I saw the same inappropriate behavior going on, I would complain too.

[estherhead]

That sounds awful! I'm sorry for all of you. Any obnoxious people (big or small) in a tight space can really ruin a good time. I have two small tykes of my own and know that we always vacation when kids are in school. I realize that isn't an option for some, but if you don't have children yourselves and don't have to travel at peak times (ie, around the holidays) I highly recommend it. You can't change people. You can wish, but it doesn't get your vacation back.

 

We always cruise the first week of December or the second week of January.

 

 

As I posted above, there is no way to control the world. There are simply plenty of people who don't care or don't know how to be good parents. But there is nothing to be done about that except cruise at times when there will be fewer children on board. That greatly reduces the chances of "brats" running rampant.

 

I use this same philosophy on all my vacation choices. I don't like to be around drunks, so I choose not to go to Mardi Gras parties. That is still my recommendation. Avoid school vacation times if you wish to avoid school children.

 

I'm sorry if you feel that is a criticism of this post. I thought it was as valid a point as the original poster's.

 

You can't control other's actions. You only can control yourself. Thinking otherwise is bound to lead to disappointment.

 

Esther

[nybumpkin]

It's not just cruising families, of course - over Thanksgiving we went to Colonial Williamsburg and spotted a couple of kids that had made off with one of the bellman carts, madly carting about the hotel parking lot. Aside from the fact that they had taken off with the hotel cart, they were careening around a rather busy parking lot with very little control over their chosen mode of transportation, and absolutely no parental supervision. (The thought occurred to me that perhaps I was witnessing the Darwinian theory of "survival of the fittest" in action....:D ) No matter where we travel, we need to be good examples to our kids and give them guidance as to their limits.

[bmgaritty]

Estherhead,

I wasn't replying to your post in particular regarding criticism - I was replying to thosed who thought the OP was condescending.

[dolphins76]

Well if people are taking request....Then my request is that all you women or men keep track of your drunk hubby or wife. I have 3 kids ages 10, 7, 6 and I know there are families out there that feel like welll heck we are on a ship where can they go...let them run freely...Im not on of those parents....but Im also tired of hearing all the crap about kids this and kids that....On my cruise the only problem I have ever had was with drunk men acting stupid , using profanity very loudly around small kids, tripping over things , knocking things over....but I don't come back on these boards and tell everyone they need to babysit their hubby or wife ...and how they ruined my cruise.....Just my thoughts.

[BaliChic]

Gosh! As a teen, im very sorry to hear about your unfortunate encounter with children the likes of these. I am no stranger to these misbehaviours and mishaps that can be the effect. The cause is complicated however... alot of them i meet are simply given too much freedom, more than their maturity level can handle. They think just because they are on a ship without their parents most of the time, they can do whatever they like, but theyre wrong. Ive met strict parents and carefree parents both. It doesnt help to restrict your child to almost everything but it doesnt help to let them set their own rules.

 

Theres really only so much you can do, you're the only one that knows your children and this is what you base your decision on. In your case on your cruise, it is very sad indeed to hear something like that was handled in that way. If i were there and knew that i did not buy their "did not speak english" trick, i would hang on to them until someone came to claim their responsibility. Sadly that never is possible and everyone is too busy claiming their rights to ever solve the case. Here, it sounds like the parents are the problem, i've heard alot of posts here with alot of different parents and if they were your kids, they definitely would not be this inappropriate, your kids must be really sweet.

 

I know my parents are always eager, as i am to set rules that we both agree on. On my next cruise in 3 days i hope not to see this kind of behavior, even as a teen, i believe that already, most of us should know better.

 

I sincerely hope your next cruise will prove to be more enjoyable.

 

Diahndra

[AmyinVail]

I, too, am tired of people complaining about kids in general on cruise ships. It irks me to no end to hear almost all reviews mention "60 kids on board", "tried to cruise when there were no kids", "not too many kids around". What would happen if the rest of us started complaining about the slow, old people - or, those damn wheelchairs nipping at my heels!! "Cruise was nice, not too many blue haired, retirees to slow down the action". We were all kids once and I, for one, think it's great that kids can travel the world. My kids are better behaved then most adults who've had a few drinks! Yes, I am defensive, but my fellow passenger has made me this way. Last year, while at the Ritz Carlton Key Biscayne, our 9 month old was cooing and giggling and an old bat had the nerve to come over and ask us to keep it down.....our baby was laughing! Some people are just ogres.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Lotsa criticism of wild kids on the Princess boards. Apparently there are some parents who are letting their kids run wild (early early AM too). Our little 7 yr old girl has been on 5 cruises since she was born, and when she's not with us, she's signed into the kids' program (which she loves, btw). Unfortunately the problem parents (who are the ones ultimately responsible for their kids -- and given the warning that they will be kicked off if there's too many complaints about disruptive kids) are probably not members of CC boards. We parents who do keep our kids under control get lumped in with these irresponsible people.

[rayswoman]

I'm sorry you ended up with such a bad cruise b/c of some unruly children & lazy parents. I really would think that cruiseline would step in & solve the problem for you since it was so blatant & obvious.

 

Although, I think it is slightly condescending to come into the family cruising section & make a post like this. As a parent cruising with her one year old son, I have seen enough people on Cruise Critic who would rather have me leave my son at home so I try to stick to this section where Family Cruising is accepted. I would hope that most people cruising with their children are doing so to have quality family time & not an opportunity to shirk their responsibilities as parents.

 

Again, I'm really sorry you did have a bad cruise.

 

Christina, I certainly understand your feelings, but as the mother of a very active 4 year old boy (who cruises with us), I wasn't offended at all. On our last cruise, when Joshua was 3, we were complimented all over the place about his behavior. He only left our sight for 2 hours the whole cruise, when he went to Camp Carnival.

 

I know it goes on all the time, but I just don't get people who have kids and then don't raise them or discipline them. I don't stop being a mother just because I'm on vacation. My son WILL behave because he has been taught to do so and because I take my job as his mother seriously.

 

The kids on the OP's cruise were obnoxious and sound like the type who end up in juvenile hall or worse eventually. They sound like spoiled rotten little brats whose parents sound just as spoiled and even MORE rotten.

 

I'm sorry to hear when idiots like that have children and then turn them loose to ruin things for the rest of us- It gives us RESPONSIBLE parents with well behaved kids a bad name. I'll never forget Joshua's first flight, 3 months ago. I swear to you half the plane grimaced/ cringed when they saw him. As most got off, we got smiles and even a few compliments. People traveling with kids around have become almost afraid of them as a result of obnoxious people like those in the OP's post.

 

Rebecca

[rayswoman]

I, too, am tired of people complaining about kids in general on cruise ships. It irks me to no end to hear almost all reviews mention "60 kids on board", "tried to cruise when there were no kids", "not too many kids around". What would happen if the rest of us started complaining about the slow, old people - or, those damn wheelchairs nipping at my heels!! "Cruise was nice, not too many blue haired, retirees to slow down the action". We were all kids once and I, for one, think it's great that kids can travel the world. My kids are better behaved then most adults who've had a few drinks! Yes, I am defensive, but my fellow passenger has made me this way. Last year, while at the Ritz Carlton Key Biscayne, our 9 month old was cooing and giggling and an old bat had the nerve to come over and ask us to keep it down.....our baby was laughing! Some people are just ogres.

 

LOL- WE try to cruise when there are as few kids as possible on board- and we cruise WITH our 4 year old! I have no problem with kids, but since there are SO MANY irresponsible parents out there who let their kids run wild, I'm wary. Our last cruise, on the Conquest 10-26-03, there were few kids, but the ones who were there were well behaved and a pleasure to have around. Thank goodness.

 

I'm a bit long winded, but I think the main point is that it's not ALL kids who are problematic, it's just the ones with jerk parents who think that since they're on vacation that everyone else should have to deal with their kids.

[ciship]

It's the parents fault......period!! Plain and simple!

 

If my kids acted up on a cruise, they would regret it for the rest of the cruise and thereafter! They know this, so they don't challenge it. Again.....plain and simple!

 

Saying all that, I feel if parents have been warned about their BRAT children more than twice, they should be left off at the next port with bags in hand! There is just no excuse to ruin cruises for others who have spent a lot of hard earned money and waited a long time for the vacation.

[estherhead]

Carnival/RCCL are corporations that we all want to stay in business. What would happen if Wal-Mart threw out all the kids that were screaming? Not great for customer satisfaction. Plus, in today's hands off society, they'd get sued. Over and over again. Unless, of course, they threw the smokers and the drunks off too. I think that is unneccessary. Smokers already get enough abuse and glares. Can't everyone just let everyone else live?

 

What do we all do to avoid this situation? Shop at times when it is less busy.

 

I'm sorry I keep posting on here but I continue to feel as if the baby-bashers are not getting my point. Complaining on the family board does no good. It stresses people like me out. When I took my girls on their first cruise they were 9 months and 2 and I was totally freaked out from Cruisecritic boards that we would get all kinds of nasty comments and glares. I got none. But I wasn't much fun the first few days, shushing the children when they were making happy noises.

 

Motherhood is the most idealized and criticized of all jobs. We are told instantly when we are doing a bad job, we aren't allowed to complain when things go bad as then people say, "Well you had them!", and it is 24 hours a day.

 

Do you think we moms like cleaning puke or changing dirty diapers? Are we thrilled to deal with a tantrum? Believe me, the mom is way more stressed by the screaming child and the knowledge that everyone hates her than are the people listening. Why not offer to help? Oh, you're on vacation and have left your helpful attitude at home. You've only brought your critical one with you.

 

I appreciate that there are bad experiences with parents and horrible little children. I'm very sorry when any of us have to deal with it. But as a people pleaser myself, reading these posts is in no way beneficial. So why are you posting? Wasn't it to be informative? If that is the case, you are preaching to the choir. A group of people who can do nothing about it but feel demoralized. If it's not to be informative you are simply complaining. And as a mother, critics abound. I don't need any more from strangers.

 

If you vacation at Christmas, there will be brats. Posting a complaint on this board wil not help.

 

Esther

[ciship]

Esther,

 

I don't think any of us are complaining about the average parent "shushing the children when they were making happy noises". I'm sure we all wish it were just that simple. I'm only assuming we were all talking about the "out of control" children who had parents who obviously don't care about them at all.....nor do they care about being considerate to the other passengers on board.

[ChristinaN]

I'm generally one who just ignores posts like this & stays away from any conflict whatsoever but I guess I'm just overwhelmed by the number of posts against children on cruises lately. Like I said in my original post, I'm really sorry that the cruiser had such a bad cruise and obviously b/c of some misbehaved children & neglectful parents. From his examples, it was clear that it was a case of both but to come on the board and preach to us about watching our children is a little over the top and a very personal attack b/c parenting is such a personal issue.

 

I agree with what many have stated that it is most likely not the parents & children of CC members frequently this part of the board that cruisers have to worry about. I have no plans to even leave my one year old with the babysitters b/c I am a very hands on parent and feel he is entirely my responsibility. I hope to have one of the children that people look at think "Gee I wish my child was that well-behaved." And I definitely don't plan on letting him ruin anyone else's vacation although at a year old I doubt he'd be up to trying any of the antics mentioned by the OP. ;)

 

I'm sorry that my post was taken as bashing the OP. Although I definitely think that a lot of parents could use some lessons on parenting, I don't think this is the place to do it.

[4 cruisers]

I think it was the way the title was stated that got some of our danders up! When you direct a statement to "parents" in general, and then give a command..."Please keep track of your kids," we parents who DO keep track of our kids took offense.

 

We keep track of ours (now 24 and 13) and ALWAYS cruise with them.

 

Aside from that...we were on the Crown (then Odyssey) twice in the Med. with our sons. There wasn't anywhere for the teens to go and back then so they allowed them in the disco. We found that this was wonderful and we have never danced more than when the teens were up there keeping things lively. I feel that keeping the teens out of the disco as they are doing on many ships now (HAL and Celebrity) is a huge mistake on the cruiselines' part. There ARE some really fun young people out there and face it, years ago when kids cruised with their parents, they did what their parents did together! :eek: We certainly did and now enjoy people of all ages! Seems to be a gift we have given our sons because they still chose to vacation with us and can converse with all kinds of people and enjoy it.

[Onessa]

Problem is with inconsiderate people in general. "Arm" them with kids and the problem is multiplied.

 

Most pax are good people. Most of the kids on any given cruise are good. But there will always be a drunken lout, or an idiot who feels that he can hold an elevator or block the hallway as he blathers on with a friend. These are the same folks who bring up kids who are equally inconsiderate - couple inconsiderate kids with uncaring parents, and everyone gets upset.

 

I would never consider travelling without my daughter (now 9). Sharing a trip with her, spending time with her is my major reason for living right now. She is a good traveller and I am willing to bet that not only has she not ruined any other pax's vacation on any trip we've taken, but in many cases has managed to make their vacations a bit more pleasant. She and our tablemates (two retired third grade teachers) on our last cruise had many spirited conversations about memorizing math facts (I got a little bored but the two ladies were really into it!). On our last AK cruise, we were seated by a large window and she pointed out to our tablemates several porpoises one evening and a whale another - they were happy she was along! On shore excursions she is often the one to point out wildlife or other interesting sights.

 

Let's keep this conversation where it needs to be kept - be considerate of those around you. If you do have children or teens with you, remember they are your responsibility. If you are travelling with the very elderly or infirmed, remember that they too are your responsibility. Don't expect others to keep your kids safe, to tolerate inconsiderate behavior, or to have their shore excursion curtailed because someone in your party cannot manage the physical demands of the activity.

[NewCruiseFan]

As one of the other posters mentioned this was a small and very specific group of folks who caused problems, not the majority of children on the ship by any extreme.

 

There were, per reception, 110 children on board. Of that number approximately 12 were giving sufficient grief to the rest of us that we would gladly have tossed them, and their parents, overboard. By no means were all the children causing trouble. I was given to understand that those parents who seemed to think the crew or the other passengers were responsible for their children normally have nannies to handle the kids - the nannies were left behind much to the sadness of the other passengers.

 

I met, and hung out with, 3 families who were awesome and whose kids were awesome. A young Brazilian boy who tried to teach me a few Portugese words and was in heaven when talking about computers. A young girl from the D.C. area who, although she was bouncing off the walls with energy, was a terrific kid, well educated, and interesting to talk to. And, a young man who travels a lot with his Father and sat down to show and discuss the nearly 300 photos from his Antarctic flightseeing excursion.

 

Most of the kids were fantastic, they were involved in the onboard kid programs, they did not hang out in the bars and they were terrific to chat with when the opportunity presented itself. It was a dozen or so kids who were less than desireable. Most interestingly, everyone agreed from the start that the kids were doing what any kid would do under the circumstances.

 

Let loose 12 kids without parental guidance or supervision and they will gravitate towards high energy, obnoxious behavior - it is simply children being children. It only takes one creative trendsetter to get other, normally sweet, kids amped up and roaring around. The real problem was in those parents who were nowhere to be found when there was an issue and when the issue was pointed out to them had no interest in acknowledging or resolving it.

 

When, as a last resort, passengers would stop and talk to the kids explaining "you've left garbage behind on the stairs - you need to clean it up now" or "I'm sorry, you are not allowed to run into people, please apologize and walk carefully" or "when you roll things down the stairs you could hurt someone" the kids would grumble but would clean up their garbage or slow down. Kids need guidance to learn how to enter the world of adulthood.

 

I really feel sorry for these kids as they grow up. I spent a fair amount of time thinking about what they'll be like as adults, spoiled, selfish, inconsiderate and without an understanding of it means to "play well with others". It gave me a greater understanding of some of the adults I know and how they got where they are. My vacation was educational in ways I could not have imagined!