Why do we eat with strangers on cruises but nowhere else?

[I&J Cruisers]

Why is that? Why is cruising so different from traditional restaurants or land-based resorts? I don't know the history of it, so I'm very curious about this. Do folks eat at large group tables when at home? What's the appeal?

 

 

I think it goes back to the begining of resort cruising. When ships were smaller ( 1000 passengers was considered a large ship) there was a very strong sense of community throughout the ship. If 1000 passengers are divided into 2 seatings and most activities were offered to both early and late seating, you saw the same 500 people over and over again. That coupled with everyone starting their vacation at the same time and the small cruise staff being involved in every activity, made it feel very homey. As ships keep getting larger the only thing that still makes you feel like part of something was sharing your day with your tablemates.

Cruising has changed big time and I guess some of us are still trying to recapture the past.

[sverigecruiser]

What's your opinion about people not speaking english during dinner? If I ever have to share a table on a cruise with strangers, do I need to speak english all the time if I don't want to be considered rude? I mean, can I have a private conversation in swedish with those I travel with or is that rude if some people around the table can't understand?

 

How do you do if most of the people around the table prefer a different language, for example german? If you as an american couple share a large table with eight germans, do you expect them to speak english?

[imsulin]

What's your opinion about people not speaking english during dinner? If I ever have to share a table on a cruise with strangers, do I need to speak english all the time if I don't want to be considered rude? I mean, can I have a private conversation in swedish with those I travel with or is that rude if some people around the table can't understand?

 

How do you do if most of the people around the table prefer a different language, for example german? If you as an american couple share a large table with eight germans, do you expect them to speak english?

 

I agree with you! I think that most Americans are monolingual, and some of them EXPECT fellow passengers to speak English. I've encountered this situation a number of times, and just tried to expand my own experience by acceding to their country and language, and enjoying being taught words and phrases in interactive table discussions. Now, I'm an American, and love my country, but there seems to be a certain arrogance among some Americans that English should be the only language spoken anywhere! Because it's the only language they understand, and everyone else during their travels outside our country should cater to their language. I know, I know. Don't want to start anything, but I've been to a lot of places in the world over many years, and have seen the "Ugly American" on occasion. I wish I were lucky enough to be bilingual/trilingual, etc! Thanks for your very good post!

 

Ha en trevlig dag!

[Into the Sun]

Having had several situations where the fellow tablemates don't speak English as their home language my husband and I have asked to be re-assigned. It was not because we didn't want to sit with Non English speaking passengers, it was just to difficult to enjoy as we felt excluded from the coversations. This in addition that my DH doesn't have an "ear" for accents/foreign languages even in English. He always just nods his head as if he understands and later asks me "what were they talking about"? He has this problem everywhere, and hates to admit it. So we have just learned to request another table.

[imsulin]

Having had several situations where the fellow tablemates don't speak English as their home language my husband and I have asked to be re-assigned. It was not because we didn't want to sit with Non English speaking passengers, it was just to difficult to enjoy as we felt excluded from the coversations. This in addition that my DH doesn't have an "ear" for accents/foreign languages even in English. He always just nods his head as if he understands and later asks me "what were they talking about"? He has this problem everywhere, and hates to admit it. So we have just learned to request another table.

 

How sad! Really.

[swanlady2000]

I'm in the table for two camp. First cruise last year and we gave it a try at a large table, but it seemed everyone was just trying to score points over everyone else. My car is better than your car type of thing. All it was people bragging how big their houses were, how they cruised sixteen times a year etc. Definate one upmanship. That was enough for me to request a private table every night even if it meant getting a pager and waiting for a while.

 

Besides, we both have to make polite conversation with strangers in our jobs everyday, so it was no loss. I loved talking to my hubby privately about the days events, sharing a bottle of wine with him, talking about the food we were eating and what we were going do and see after the meal, as well as general stuff. I feel that it really makes the cruise special to us.

[Coralc]

How sad! Really.

 

Not really, if part of your cruise enjoyment is talking with your tablemates about cruising. If there is a language barrier on either side, that element is lost.

 

On one of our cruises. We were seated at a table for 4 (our family). Next to us was a table for 6, mom and her 21 son from Vancouver BC, a couple from Germany, and a couple from Mexico City. The Canadians mostly chatted over with us, they stuck it out for the whole 7 nights. No one at the table could really converse with anyone else, and their dining was a silent affair...except among the individual couples.

 

No thanks. If our enjoyment is chatting during the 2 hour nightly meal, we will find some way to accomplish that. :)

[kooljamming]

Having had several situations where the fellow tablemates don't speak English as their home language my husband and I have asked to be re-assigned. It was not because we didn't want to sit with Non English speaking passengers, it was just to difficult to enjoy as we felt excluded from the coversations. This in addition that my DH doesn't have an "ear" for accents/foreign languages even in English. He always just nods his head as if he understands and later asks me "what were they talking about"? He has this problem everywhere, and hates to admit it. So we have just learned to request another table.

 

That's my DH around my family when were are speaking "patois' the local dialect or the other way around, his American accent. I call it the look of confusion, the nod of politeness, and the grin of dumbness. It's not only the dialect but the accent as well. I always remind him to slow down when he speaks and don't be embarrass to ask others to do the same. Now that I don't understand the 'new' dialect since it spoken and keeps changing. I am the one with the look, grin and smile.

 

weh - where

wha mek - why

kin teet - grin (not smile)

[VillaHappy]

Please don't flame me for not wanting to meet people, etc., because that's not the case with us. I'm just genuinely curious as to why it's so unique to cruising.

 

It's unique to traveling, not to just cruising. On our honeymoon in the Poconos, Caesars Resorts had mostly tables for 4 and 5 couples. You really had no choice but to eat in silence, or talk and meet other couples.

 

Bed and breakfasts are another example. You can order room service, but many couples go to a bed and breakfast because of the large gathering of strangers in the dining room in the morning, all sharing breakfast. :D

[turtle51]

I usually travel in a group. When I first started cruising I did not mind sitting with other people. Now I prefer to just sit with those people that I am curising with. This next cruise will be my honeymoon so I definatly want a table for 2.

[cruzincurt]

Breakfast and lunch are fine with us. Its a short time to make conversation and meet people. Spending 2 hours a night trying to make small talk at dinner with strangers for seven days is just not for us.

[bobsfamily]

I realized something...

 

That when EVERYONE dressed up every night and really dressed up for FORMAL night we all were on our "best" behavior and conversation was nice. I'm talking about 10 plus years ago. We found that being seated with others was a treat (or we moved) and actually laughed and enjoyed the time. We even went out with several couples - we rented a limo in Nassau and went the casino/bars (20 years ago before Atlantis).

 

Now with relaxed dress a large table seems to really be a bunch of small tables shoved together. Everyone is not worried about hurting someones feelings and just converses with their own crowd... and can be downright rude.

 

I find that nowadays a table for 2 is just right...

[imsulin]

Not really, if part of your cruise enjoyment is talking with your tablemates about cruising. If there is a language barrier on either side, that element is lost.

 

On one of our cruises. We were seated at a table for 4 (our family). Next to us was a table for 6, mom and her 21 son from Vancouver BC, a couple from Germany, and a couple from Mexico City. The Canadians mostly chatted over with us, they stuck it out for the whole 7 nights. No one at the table could really converse with anyone else, and their dining was a silent affair...except among the individual couples.

 

No thanks. If our enjoyment is chatting during the 2 hour nightly meal, we will find some way to accomplish that. :)

 

Sounds like no one even bothered to try! How sad. Really.

[hazeleyez3]

Sounds like no one even bothered to try! How sad. Really.

 

 

The key part is no one did...not just the Americans.

[imsulin]

The key part is no one did...not just the Americans.

 

Agreed. Still sad. Really.

[sandytoes03]

When my bf and I cruise, it's our alone time, so we request a table for two. We just like it better; we're on vacation and we want to spend our time together, just the two of us. I know that we are in the minority, as most people enjoy cruising because you get to eat at large tables with new people. That seems to be one of the biggest reasons people like cruising over land-based vacations.

 

Why is that? Why is cruising so different from traditional restaurants or land-based resorts? I don't know the history of it, so I'm very curious about this. Do folks eat at large group tables when at home? What's the appeal?

 

Please don't flame me for not wanting to meet people, etc., because that's not the case with us. I'm just genuinely curious as to why it's so unique to cruising.

 

We agree! After our first two cruise we always get a table just to ourselves. It's our time together and I don't want to spend a single second making small talk with a stranger. I want my DH ALL to myself!;):p

[sr5242]

I have always disliked sitting with strangers, one time we were on a cruise with a family with young children, and they would race us every day to sit by the window. Not once in a 7 nite cruise did they ever let us sit by the window for a meal- great values to teach your child!

[DLKC]

We've never done a table for 2, yet I signed up for that on our upcoming cruise. I realize there's no guarantee of that, but chances are we'll change to a larger table before cruise time anyway. We want to stick with traditional dining, keeping the Windjammer option if some day we just don't want to clean up!

 

We've only gone on a cruise as a couple once; we were at at table of 8. The first dinner we were with a group of 6 traveling together who hardly acknowledged we were there...:( so after that we requested a change. From then on we were at a table for 10; and a table with lots of variety. We found it enjoyable but didn't connect up with anyone beyond sharing dinner with them.

 

The other cruises we've done have been with friends; a group of 6. On one, we were given a table for 8. The other couple at the table were much younger than us. However, remembering our first cruise experience, our group engaged the young couple and we had a delightful time. They didn't request a change, but seemed to also enjoy the dinners with us... ready to share their day's adventures with us.

[Coralc]

Sounds like no one even bothered to try! How sad. Really.

 

And I'm not really sure why you would jump to that conclusion? :rolleyes: All three couples were very nice. With Spanish, German and English speakers, they really couldn't communicate with each other beyond Hi and some basic words and smiling and pantomime. In spite of this, they continued sharing the same table for 7 nights. Apparently, it was acceptable to all parties. :p

 

My point is that my husband I would have changed tables! I don't know about others, but I don't wish to sit near silently at a large table for evening dining on a cruise. I also don't want just a table for 2. We have that at home every evening. I LIKE chatting with others. :D

[Overtyme]

Because after the cruise, you never have to see them again! :-)

[RetireeWannabee]

I agree with you! I think that most Americans are monolingual, and some of them EXPECT fellow passengers to speak English.

 

I do not expect that at all.

 

Please do keep in mind that we are far from anyone speaking another language, so do not need a second language as part of growing up or normal course of adulthood, and schools do not teach us other languages young. There may be some minimum requirements to graduate, but that is hardly enuf for fluency. For me, it was certainly use it or lose it, and I couldn't use it, so I lost it. what little I had to start.

 

europe has so many countries so close together that they almost have to be multi-lingual. India has a ton of dialects from one mother tongue and teach their young English.

 

I do try before visiting a foreign country to learn enuf to get around but please don't paint us all as UA's just because some of us are too old to learn new tricks.

[LeesSummitCruiser1]

I really doubt eating dinner with strangers is at the top of anyone's list for why they chose a cruise over a land based vacation. It's also not unique to cruising, I've seen similar arrangements at all-inclusive resorts.

 

 

Eating with a large group of new people is one of the top three reasons we love to cruise. Especially in the med you meet people from other countries and on a long cruise you really get to know them and their country. The discussion at the table usually gives us insights into what is really going on in the world versus what we see on the news. Granted people you meet on a cruise is a bias sample of citizens of countries but the people on crusies at large tables are usually "nerds" and like the politics and history of their region and want to talk about it. We would not trade this part of the cruise experience for anything and will limit ourselves to cruise lines that offer traditional dinning.

[seashiner]

I have always disliked sitting with strangers, one time we were on a cruise with a family with young children, and they would race us every day to sit by the window. Not once in a 7 nite cruise did they ever let us sit by the window for a meal- great values to teach your child!

 

Thats not a very fair statement. You go to any open sitting forum, if you want the best spot you get there first. (IJS)

 

My family of 7 (4 teens) have cruised twice and both times we sat with another couple. The couple started the week with an attitude of wanting to switch tables... by mid-week they were very chatty and enjoyed our company. We sat with this one couple that were so reserved and older.. the man seemed kind of grumpy.. by the end of the week him and my son were yackin and joking like crazy..

 

Its great to meet people from different areas of the country or nation. I haven't had the experience of sitting with people who didn't speak english.. If I did I guess it would depend on the circumstance.. if they were enjoying our company I would stay... if they always sat and yacked among each other in their native tongue I may ask for a seat change...

[hazeleyez3]

As far as some of the posts about Americans only knowing English.

 

People should remember that, just as there are parts of Canada that use French, there are many areas in the US which use Spanish. NM, TX, NV, and FL are the main ones that come to mind...and actually there are parts of FL where Spanish is the preferred language.

 

Yes, there are many Americans that only speak English...and only want to speak English. What we also need to realize is that in today's society, many Americans have become more familiar with Spanish...maybe not fluent, but enough to "get by" (for lack of a better phrase) in their everyday lives.

[DLKC]

Just a language comment -- English is the language used in international business. Sitting around a business meeting with folks from multiple nations, English is spoken as it is the common language even if it isn't everyone's "first" language. I'm impressed by how many can speak fluently in a second, and third language.

 

It makes sense on a cruise, with folks from many cultures, that English be the majority language... particularly with a group of folks around a dining table. Everyone can have fun learning bits of language/culture from the others!