Why do we eat with strangers on cruises but nowhere else?

[kooljamming]

Asian. The Chinese use this convention, I believe.

 

Correct!

[doublenickelgal]

On our first cruise we were first placed at a table with a family, but made a change before the first meal. Meeting other young couples was one of the best experiences we had. We kept in touch with one couple for several years afterwards. I've always wondered what happened to Sharon and Marty Sell.

Are you still cruising?

[kooljamming]

.

 

Parents are RESPONSIBLE for what their kids do... and manners/respect has been in decline for many years now.

 

Yes, I agree. However from reading some of the posts and threads it appears a lot of parents have failed with teaching manners/respect in ALL generations. I would not want my kids (ages 11 and 14) to read what some posters have to say when discussing dress code, tipping or even Carnival. I can only assume the respect that was once taught is forgotten with the amenity of the internet. With some posters having more cruises than I have trips to Walmart, I assume they are older but yet their posts can be the harshest. I think our words are a reflection of our upbringing, not our clothes. This is an observation and not to knock anyone's upbringing or point the finger because mine was far from perfect......JMOP!

 

People go through life taking the same chair in their homes, jobs, schools and would never think it was appropriate to do otherwise unless asked by someone in charge.

Yet, the finger is easily point at a parent or child because they are easy target.

[bobsfamily]

Yes, I agree. However from reading some of the posts and threads it appears a lot of parents have failed with teaching manners/respect in ALL generations. I would not want my kids (ages 11 and 14) to read what some posters have to say when discussing dress code, tipping or even Carnival. I can only assume the respect that was once taught is forgotten with the amenity of the internet.

 

What is said on the "internet" is almost like talking to the TV when no one is around... I count it as a 1 on a scale of 1-10 Including ME.

 

In real life I work very hard to make sure my children have values, respect for others, manners. They are respectful to elders that treat them with respect... others they are polite to and remove themselves as soon as possible.

[mjldvlks]

Typically, we have been with large enough groups we have not been seated with folks outside the group [although the group has usually included people we hadn't met before]. Meeting people is one of the things I enjoy about traveling, so if our traveling group was smaller, I would still prefer a larger table. But to each his own. And that's the great thing about cruising -- you can generally get something in the neighborhood of what you want.

[kooljamming]

What is said on the "internet" is almost like talking to the TV when no one is around... I count it as a 1 on a scale of 1-10 Including ME.

 

In real life I work very hard to make sure my children have values, respect for others, manners. They are respectful to elders that treat them with respect... others they are polite to and remove themselves as soon as possible.

 

I try to say nice things to the TV. The most important person to hear ME is ME. I am willing to own (no amenity -pic &name) what I say and take back what I have said at times, because words whether in a crowd, on the internet, or alone MATTERS. This is the lesson I was taught and hopefully the one my kids remember. Try as we might, sometimes they will and sometimes they won't.

[FireIce0010]

Asian. The Chinese use this convention. Big continent I've not visited yet, so could be many countries.

 

Correct that they do this in China.

[bobsfamily]

Asian. The Chinese use this convention. Big continent I've not visited yet, so could be many countries.

Some parts of Asia there is no "surname"... one name only... you might have a name and "belong" to a group/tribe/etc that would become your last name if needed in another part of the world... same with parts of India... Some that work here in the US have taken their "tribes" name as their last name.

[hazeleyez3]

or any other language, but, English is the official language of International Business.

 

not true. some cultures have surname first, given name last.

 

And to me that is basically the same...and not something that would confuse me a great deal.

 

I have the same thoughts about names of places...if we had just left Paris and people at the dinner table were talking about Tour Eiffel, Eiffla, or Torre Eiffel my thought would be they were talking about the Eiffel Tower.

[cranejwr]

I have only been on 1 cruise (2nd cruise coming up in March) and we were seated with a man and his 2 children. My friend & I enjoyed their company very much. The children (girl 11 & boy 16) were so plesant to be around. Rebecca bought us a very very nice necklace and gave it to us on Thursday night. Our last night of dining was Friday and I found someone to teach me how to say thank you in their laungage. It was wonderful and we looked forward to our dinner every night so we could talk about our day in port or what we did on the boat if we were at sea. I am hoping to be as lucky on my next cruise. Sorry to jump in on the board but wanted to share my story.

Happy cruising

Jeanne

[seashiner]

"Thats not a very fair statement. You go to any open sitting forum, if you want the best spot you get there first."

 

I can see the manners you teach your kids. Congrats on raising the next generation of "me first" people!

 

People go through life taking the same chair in their homes, jobs, schools and would never think it was appropriate to do otherwise unless asked by someone in charge.

Yet, the finger is easily point at a parent or child because they are easy target.

 

I have raised my children to be considerate of others in every aspect of life. I also have raised my children to go for what they want. That is very different from raising them to not be responsible or rude with a "me first" attitude. Kooljamming hit it dead on.

 

By the way you will not catch my children running around acting like uncontrollable animals. I am proud to say they are very respectful to everyone. They have volunteered in their community as well as in other states. They will be the first one to hold the door open, help someone with their bags, and say please and thank you.

 

To judge children as disrespectful because naturally they want to sit by the window is unfair no matter what era you were brought up in.

 

Let me ask you this, if you were in the grocery line first would you let the person 10th in line to cut in front of you just because, although they never asked too?

 

It drives me nuts to see children get such a bad rap just because they want things out of life just like Adults do.

[Mark_K]

I have raised my children to be considerate of others in every aspect of life. I also have raised my children to go for what they want. That is very different from raising them to not be responsible or rude with a "me first" attitude. Kooljamming hit it dead on.

 

By the way you will not catch my children running around acting like uncontrollable animals. I am proud to say they are very respectful to everyone. They have volunteered in their community as well as in other states. They will be the first one to hold the door open, help someone with their bags, and say please and thank you.

 

To judge children as disrespectful because naturally they want to sit by the window is unfair no matter what era you were brought up in.

 

Let me ask you this, if you were in the grocery line first would you let the person 10th in line to cut in front of you just because, although they never asked too?

 

It drives me nuts to see children get such a bad rap just because they want things out of life just like Adults do.

This thread had died a good, honorable, and well deserved death, and then you had to go resurrect it. :)

[seashiner]

sorry.... I was distracted with the roll call for my upcoming trip :o However, I had to respond when I showed up and seen the response to what I thought was an innocent comment:rolleyes:.

[griffy]

This train has jumped the track...eating with strangers to the generation who raised ill-mannered children?????? We go on family vacations..we like to say, "we travel in packs" and we have elderly and small children. We request a large table, and in fact, it has often taken 2-3 of the large tables to hold all of us. Our children have been taken to restaurants and know very well that they will not be getting down in the floor to play, nor will they be running around in the dining room. We are very proud of the manners they have. We love hearing what everyone has done during the day and their adventures they share with each other during dinner is a high point of the cruise. We eat breakfast in the MDR, and we have no problem with being at the table with others during breakfast but wouldn't want to spend the week..every night with strangers. It's different folks with different strokes or something like that...

[Rafa]

This thread had died a good, honorable, and well deserved death, and then you had to go resurrect it. :)

 

lol... well said.

Old and dead sudject, til' now.

[cb at sea]

Actually, you do eat with strangers at times other than cruising! When you go to a wedding reception w/dinner...you are usually seated with folks you don't know! Japanese steakhouses seat "strangers" together....

[andrzej5914]

I'm just genuinely curious as to why it's so unique to cruising.

 

It is not unique to cruises.

 

Teppan Cooking tables in Japanese restaurants usually seat 8-12 people and most of the time it's strangers.

 

German beer halls have picnic style tables where anybody can join you.

 

There are many European style restaurants that do the same.

 

but to answer your question, I believe the ships have limited space so they need to do communal seating just so they can fit everybody.

[215girl]

This is me and my bff first cruise and she is very social. Me, not so much in the beginning I have to warm up to you first. I requested the 8-12 table so I can socialize and meet new people. Me personally would not want a table for 2 on a cruise unless it was a special occasion, anniversary or birthday but thats just me.

[talosian]

We prefer a table for two for several reasons. I am hard-of-hearing (even w/hearing aids that I don't always wear), we're not really people persons and often we have found many people (sorry), not that interesting to talk with.

 

On our last cruise, we were lucky since we didn't get the T42, we sat with another couple close to our age and they were very interesting, plus the fact with a T42, I could hear everyone.

 

One time - - terrible --- we were seated at a T/4/10 and the people were either as old as I am (70) or foreign speakers, and my hearing issues are compounded when there is an accent thrown into the mix.

 

Everyone to their own though; no "right" or "wrong," just individual preferences.

[MrPete]

We do at Benihana's and other formal event, like wedding and company affairs.

 

Regardless, we love it. We have hit it off with our tablemates on every cruise, so much that we look forward to our meals, and are saddened when the cruise is over.

[alphakitty]

Originally Posted by Celandine

I'm one of those people that strangers just seem to talk to randomly, I guess I'm approachable or something, so I kind of enjoy eating with other people.

 

Me, too. Often complete strangers will tell me extremely personal info. I guess they just need someone to listen.

 

Same for me, always makes my husband shake his head LOL....I think it's because I (and probably you too), look people in the eye and smile or say hello. It opens the door, says to someone, I'm open to you talking to me. :)

 

I too, enjoy sitting at a large table. I will say, we've never sat for dinner with anyone who was a bad table mate. I have had a few doosies at breakfast and/or lunch though. :eek: I am a talker, but do try to chill and listen when in the company of others. LOL

[srlafleur]

I prefer dinner being just the two of us. We share a table quite happily at breakfast and lunch - we're not antisocial, after all. In addition to breakfast & lunch, we usually do excursions, which also involve hanging out with bunches of people we've never met. By dinner, it's time for some "us" time.

If "forced" to share a table, the larger the better. While we've been lucky with our tablemates at 4-tops, it could get awkward if you don't hit it off.

The custom of sharing tables on cruise ships is, or was, the custom at high-end all-inclusive resorts as well, such as the Mt. Washington Hotel in NH back in her hayday. (I use that one as an example because I worked there the summer of '72 - even then it was a throwback to some "golden age".)

[SEASONEDCRUZER]

Which cultures?

 

Chinese, for one!

[bluegirlum]

This thread had died a good, honorable, and well deserved death, and then you had to go resurrect it. :)

 

I started the thread and was surprised to see it up here again. I didn't mean to wreak such havoc! :eek:

[Ken Greco]

I respect your choice to eat with your friend at a table for two. Others like myself and DW enjoy a large table; tables for 12-16 would even be better. Cruise ships have always looked at the cruise experince as something different than a one night out to dinner. It is a chance to meet others from all parts of the US and the world. We have had poor or boring tablemates and fanatistic one. We remember them all. One gentleman with his 17 year old daughter turned out to be gay and he loved Broadway and us being very liberal turned out the be the best group of 10 tablemates we ever had a our 10 cruises.