Roll call etiquette...or...a sticky situation

[Sea Hag]

I guess we've been lucky, since we've never seen any squabbling on a roll call.

 

There was one that I joined late and found that nearly everybody there cruised together all the time. Didn't get any welcome at all, but I hung in there anyway and ended up having a nice time with them on the ship. So, it all worked out fine. Maybe it will for you too, in spite of the bickering.

[RetireeWannabee]

Do remember to use the Alert icon if any comments are violations of community guidelines. Hosts only know of such issues if alerted. They are not routinely assigned to Roll Calls - too many threads, no enough Hosts. But action will be taken if alerts are sent. In the meantime, many of you have provided appropriate strategies...and they are helpful across the board. Enjoy your cruises!

I've never seen alert icons on this board, tho I have seen them on other vBulletin sites. Where is this icon?

[Traveler353]

I've never seen alert icons on this board, tho I have seen them on other vBulletin sites. Where is this icon?

 

Upper right hand corner next to the post number.

[SheilaNC]

It's the little red triangle in the right upper corner of the post.

[RetireeWannabee]

DOH. thanks.

 

I expected it to be in the lower left since that's where it lives on the other boards.

 

never claimed to be the most observant :o

[weltek]

Wow, I had no idea Roll Calls could get so controversial! Like another poster said above, all I want from a RC is to chat with people for about 30 minutes and if I see them around, maybe share a chat at a bar or poolside, and if someone is booking an excursion that we are interested in and could benefit from by hooking up, great. If we happen to meet someone we really click with, we might suggest dining together for a night. That's it.

 

I think etiquette should be that an initial RC gathering should be very basic. Anything beyond drinks or an official Meet & Greet with visiting officers should be kept for a separate, optional time to make everyone comfortable opting in or out (e.g., gift exchange, cabin crawl, excursion). People need to feel free to join or not, and be respected no matter what their decision.

 

And please, if you say you will attend an official M&G, attend (of course, unless there is an actual emergency). I've been embarassed for our group when only six people show up to meet the officers and then don't eat any of the food or drink that's been generously set up for us.

[CoolChile]

. . . And please, if you say you will attend an official M&G, attend (of course, unless there is an actual emergency). I've been embarassed for our group when only six people show up to meet the officers and then don't eat any of the food or drink that's been generously set up for us.

 

I so agree with you about attending the M&G if you say you're going to, weltek. It's one of the reasons I have folks on the roll call commit to attending the M&Gs I arrange by emailing me and providing their info. I think it helps both them and me (and HAL, the only line I sail on). ;) :D

[Cruisin' Chick]

Reminds me of one place I worked at. One department I had contact with was divided into two camps that didn't like each other. I decided I wasn't going to take sides and during lunch or other outside occasions, I would be friendly to people on both sides.

 

When I first joined CC, I started a roll call for my cruise. We didn't end up with huge numbers...maybe 20 or so people. We did manage to have a few meetings set up (including the ones that the CD was going to set up for us, even though he did flake out on one of them, so there was just one of those). Not everyone showed up. With the CD's one, I wrote notes for each person that I had the cabin number for (you can ask people to email them to you so that the cabins aren't posted on this site) with the location and time...and put a note in each in-box. That was just in case they didn't spot the mention in the Patters.

 

After the cruise, I was surprised to see one member talk on his other roll call about how disorganized ours was. I don't know what he expected, and he certainly didn't make any suggestions for how we should handle things. So you just have to disregard people like that. They are quick to make judgements but not in any hurry to help.

 

On the other hand, two of the people on the cruise were trying to get me to join them on another cruise (I couldn't, and it ended up that they had to change their plans too). And we're Facebook friends.:)

 

I have seen some people comment about their roll calls being inclusive or nasty. Just about anytime I've checked this out, I've seen valid concerns. A few times, someone would complain about a roll call, but then it seems they're like the new kid in school and not seeing that people are trying to drawn them in (that is if they meet someone like my daughter who's know to befriend new students). Some people are shy about joining in. But I have seen the reverse happen too.

 

As far as other activities, you shouldn't have to feel like you have to do what everyone else is doing. Maybe your idea of a vacation is way different. And if people don't understand that or get offended that you don't want to be joined at the hip with them, they're the ones with the problem.

[montana200024]

Like others, I looked at your profile and read some of your roll call. It seems petty to me-one person wants a cabin crawl and a slot pull for the group and another wants to keep it simple with only a gift exchange-and the one who wants to control everything does not want a gift exchange, but all the other activities.

 

It seems he also wants a group to do excursions together too? I scanned it-so I may be wrong on this.

 

Personally, me, I would not participate in the cabin crawl and slot pull- I am not interested in those type things. A gift exchange I will do if most want to-but I do not mind if others are not interested.

 

Actually all I want out of a roll call in 30 minutes or an hour visiting with fellow CCers and meeting some of the guys/gals I have posted to over the years. I do not want to spend my cruise doing activites with a bunch of other people. I am happy spending time with my husband for the most part. I don't need to do excursions with fellow CCers. Now my hubby, if others are diving,he may want to share a taxi,if he books a private dive company-but that is it. If I run into folks on the roll call -around ship or in port-I will say hello and chat for 5 minutes. To me that is all most are interested in doing.

 

I agree with others. Just drop the rollcall. Enjoy your cruise and forget about this-nothing to stress about.

 

BTW-I never give my cabin number on a roll call-I just say I do not want to say. Most people are decent, but it only takes one crazy that you would not want to have that information. Sensible people understand that-only a crazy would be offended by your not wanting to share that information.

 

i dont give out cabin room either ..maybe what floor , but not cabin#...i love meeting people who I have chatted with for months...it is so nice to put a face to a name...

[Cruisin' Chick]

I did check out some of that roll call and it seemed there were a few issues going on. And perhaps some people were demonize, who to me didn't seem to be criticized. But that's my opinion. It should be interesting if Rob meets some of the people in question and report back after the cruise whether he still feels the same way.

[CanWeGoYet?]

 

 

 

After the cruise' date=' I was surprised to see one member talk on his other roll call about how disorganized ours was. I don't know what he expected, and he certainly didn't make any suggestions for how we should handle things. So you just have to disregard people like that. They are quick to make judgements but not in any hurry to help.

 

On the other hand, two of the people on the cruise were trying to get me to join them on another cruise (I couldn't, and it ended up that they had to change their plans too). And we're Facebook friends.:)

 

[/quote']

 

:confused: It sounds like you did a lot over & above the call of duty, sending out notes to cabins to keep the cabin numbers off the board. I think for some, that is their comfort zone. Sitting back, having others do the work and then critiqueing how it wasn't just so.

[buckanear]

Spongerob (if you're still checking out this post)

 

I saw your post for the m&m. I hope that it doesn't put a damper on your cruise. I hope you come by and say hello to me in the terminal when you cruise.

[Bakincakes]

I think the OP did the right thing by dropping out.

 

I read that thread and have never seen anyone so desperate for a gift exchange.:eek:

[buckanear]

I've never seen someone so angry about a gift exchange! I don't know if it was an issue of control, or if its about not being able to read personal inflection and so people misread it.

 

I agree, it was probably a good idea to bow out (the OP). This is supposed to be a fun experience and I'm truly sorry to the OP that this hasn't turned out that way.

[momofmeg]

I've never seen someone so angry about a gift exchange! I don't know if it was an issue of control, or if its about not being able to read personal inflection and so people misread it.

 

I agree, it was probably a good idea to bow out (the OP). This is supposed to be a fun experience and I'm truly sorry to the OP that this hasn't turned out that way.

 

Well I will defend that person a bit. The other had organized a slot pull and a cabin crawl-but told this person NO to the gift exchange. I thought BOTH were too controlling.

[Bakincakes]

I thought I had read that the members of that roll call had nixed the idea of a gift exchange when they established the roll call.:confused:

[momofmeg]

I thought I had read that the members of that roll call had nixed the idea of a gift exchange when they established the roll call.:confused:

 

Yes, but many more had joined the rollcall. I understood this was why this person asked again-to see if the majority still did not want it. I guess he was hoping some more would go with him.

 

Either way, both were trying to control things and were having a control battle between each other. Personally, I am not interested in anything but a meet and greet-but if I went along with anything, it would be an optional gift exchange. actually, if the other things were optional also, I owuld not mind them either-why not let eveyrone be allowed what they want. If this lone guy is the only one that participates-well, he can take his own gift home. It was nothing to make a big fuss about.

 

None of this was worth the fuss, and I believe the OP was smart to leave this roll call.

[SuzyQCruise]

I am also on this cruise...have only posted briefly right after I booked in July...but am always peeking....I had not been on for a few weeks and logged it to catch up. I was just about to make a comment to Spongerob when the whole board exploded...

 

OH MY...was my reaction....I had read the entire thread before beginning to post, which is what the gift person should have done...(if you read enough of her posts you would have seen that she didn't even know which thread she was posting on (I suppose she is taking multiple cruises) talking about Miami and stuff...more than once....

 

I understand the reacting comment was a little harsh, but they apologized. ....the debate continues

[blindrid]

Stupid Question of the Day:

 

How does a roll call have issues?

 

The few I've participated in have been very cordial and we were always worried about where to meet for a drink than anything ;).

[momofmeg]

Stupid Question of the Day:

 

How does a roll call have issues?

 

The few I've participated in have been very cordial and we were always worried about where to meet for a drink than anything ;).

 

Go to Spongerob's post and click on "see all posts by" under his name-you will find his roll call and you will understand. He did right to drop that rollcall.

[momofmeg]

I am also on this cruise...have only posted briefly right after I booked in July...but am always peeking....I had not been on for a few weeks and logged it to catch up. I was just about to make a comment to Spongerob when the whole board exploded...

 

OH MY...was my reaction....I had read the entire thread before beginning to post, which is what the gift person should have done...(if you read enough of her posts you would have seen that she didn't even know which thread she was posting on (I suppose she is taking multiple cruises) talking about Miami and stuff...more than once....

 

I understand the reacting comment was a little harsh, but they apologized. ....the debate continues

 

Yes, she did seem confused, but she was still pushy. So was the OP. He was adamant that he did not want a gift exchange, as others would feel "obligated" to bring a gift. A couple agreed with him, and one other said that he/she did not want a gift exchange, if most did not. Then a few agreed with her, and one of these was attacked and called a troll, because they had only made a few posts on CC, even though it showed they had joined in 2006- so they were not new-they just did not post often.

 

 

I say let the handful bring their gifts- the others need not obligated to participate if the gift exchange falls flat on the few-oh well.

 

As far as feeling obligated, if I can find something I think is cute, that says Georgia on it, I will participate, but if I don't find something that I really like, I just do not participate, and no one has given me looks for not doing so. A gift exchange is no big deal. There are always some who don't particulate-at least this has been true on my roll calls.

[Cruisin' Chick]

I had to go back and read the last few pages. It seems that no one responded when Spongerob asked to be removed from their list.

[blindrid]

Go to Spongerob's post and click on "see all posts by" under his name-you will find his roll call and you will understand. He did right to drop that rollcall.

 

I will. The curiousity is killing me on how someone could screw up a roll call.

[spongerob]

Thanks for the comments, everyone.

[CanWeGoYet?]

Thanks for the comments, everyone.

 

Bless your heart. I know nothing of your roll call, and little desire / no time to go enlighten myself. But for being the topic of conversation on an extended thread, you are showing commendable restraint. I think most of us would come out swinging.