What's the Deal w/ Formal Night?

[Former Goalie]

My .02 is that you have performed due diligence on your cruise line of choice, and I think you've made a well reasoned decision. Not every child/family needs 24/7 stimulus and a Carnival/RCL megaship experience.

I totally agree...you're going on an Alaskan cruise, not some cruise to the Caribbean at Spring Break.

Let the majesty you'll witness speak for itself, the scenery will be the biggest amenity of the voyage.

[CowPrincess]

mll1013 I hope you didn't interpret my "glacier" comments as any attempt to discourage you from HAL -- IMHO forewarned is forearmed, and I just wanted you to have the information.

 

If you contact HAL's "special needs" department they will do everything they can to accommodate you and your son's specific needs. If it were me taking an autistic child on a cruise, I'd probably choose the Lido for dinners -- much quicker, usually lots of tables available, so you can pick one out of the line of much stimulation. If your son has issues with food, you definitely need to talk to "special needs" -- they may suggest a 4 top in fixed dining. And I think "special needs" is the area you'd need to discuss any special food requirements.

 

I think you've made a reasonable, reasoned choice. Some will agree and some will disagree.

 

Also, if you have not yet checked out the Family Cruising forum here on cc, DO :) There are many helpful posters there.

[mll1013]

If you are going to be viewing glaciers, be aware that when they calf can be LOUD!!!! Prepare your son, there will be a sound very like a shotgun blast, and that is perfectly normal. Then a hunk of glacier splashes into the water, and waves are created. If you are close enough, the ship may rock.

 

And the kittiwakes (sp?????) in Glacier Bay can make a lot of high-pitched noise, too, depending on how close they are to the ship.

 

I'd check youtube and see if you can find videos with sound of glaciers calving. And the kittiwakes squawking :)

 

Excellent point! We will need to prepare him.

 

I am sorry about your son. I do have empathy. I have family with Aspergers, myself. However, I still find it hard to believe, you did the research, if you had, you would have known about formal night.

 

Ah... there you caught me. We did indeed know about formal nights, and I remember my parents telling me about formal nights when they went on cruises, but our naivete led us to assume (yep... that always gets me into trouble!) that this was only in the MDR. A closer read of the HAL brochure tipped us that this applied to "all public areas", but we were confused by that as well... I mean, isn't the lido also a public area, and didn't the brochure tell us you could be more casual there??? That was when I started the thread. The brochure seemed unclear, so I wanted to go straight to the experts. :D

 

I don't understand why you feel your son would be better off on HAL.

 

I guess our thoughts here were that younger crowds with excited children would invoke a more rowdy experience in the public areas... you know how loud and rough kids are when they get excited.

 

You do realize HAL, chances are, will seat you with others at dinner. Will your son be comfortable with that? The Pearl had plenty of smaller tables and they only seat you with your family group, unless you request differently. Of course you could eat in the lido, and if you eat there, you need not worry aobut formal night. it does not apply there.

 

Thanks for the tip here too... we will prepare him for this as well... likely, he'll just stay kind of quiet while the adults talk amongst themselves.

 

The previous poster is right about the glaciers calving. Fortunately, HAL has the Crow's Nest Lounge which is high up and will give you good views, and the Pearl has a similar lounge high up with lots of glass also which is great for views. If your son is afraid of loud noises, I recommend you take him there and then perhaps you and your husband can take turns, going out to listen to the calving, while one stays with him.

 

Excellent idea! We'll have to see how he does. He may find it so enthralling that he doesn't even notice the noise... or he may plug his ears (his typical coping mechanism) but if he does seem stressed, the crow's nest should be an excellent buffer for him.

[CowPrincess]

mll1013, please see my post #52 regarding the Family Cruising board and the Special Needs department of HAL. I think I was posting at the same time you were, so you may have missed it.

 

BTW, the calving is not predictable, so I don't think you can reasonably anticipate when it will occur, despite momofmeg's suggestion that you "take turns going out to listen to the calving".

[momofmeg]

Excellent point! We will need to prepare him.

 

 

 

Ah... there you caught me. We did indeed know about formal nights, and I remember my parents telling me about formal nights when they went on cruises, but our naivete led us to assume (yep... that always gets me into trouble!) that this was only in the MDR. A closer read of the HAL brochure tipped us that this applied to "all public areas", but we were confused by that as well... I mean, isn't the lido also a public area, and didn't the brochure tell us you could be more casual there??? That was when I started the thread. The brochure seemed unclear, so I wanted to go straight to the experts. :D

 

 

 

I guess our thoughts here were that younger crowds with excited children would invoke a more rowdy experience in the public areas... you know how loud and rough kids are when they get excited.

 

 

 

Thanks for the tip here too... we will prepare him for this as well... likely, he'll just stay kind of quiet while the adults talk amongst themselves.

 

 

 

Excellent idea! We'll have to see how he does. He may find it so enthralling that he doesn't even notice the noise... or he may plug his ears (his typical coping mechanism) but if he does seem stressed, the crow's nest should be an excellent buffer for him.

 

That is the way My friend's son is. He gets very quiet around strangers, but he does not act out unless they try to force him into a conversation, even then he grabs his mom and tries to hide behind her. (he is 13)There is this elderly lady that just doesn't get it, about him-she always wants to hug and kiss him, and he hates it. She seems to feel he should "know" her by now, but, he will hug his mom, but he does not want anyone else to touch him, even his father. His mom has tried to explain to this elderly lady over and over.

 

I have known them over a year now, and it is only recently that he has become comfortable enough with me, to look in my face when I speak to him.

[Copper10-8]

Mll1013; enjoy your cruise with your family! There are pretty good options on board for casual dining, even on formal night!:)

[suse]

If you are going to be viewing glaciers, be aware that when they calf can be LOUD!!!! Prepare your son, there will be a sound very like a shotgun blast, and that is perfectly normal. Then a hunk of glacier splashes into the water, and waves are created. If you are close enough, the ship may rock.

 

And the kittiwakes (sp?????) in Glacier Bay can make a lot of high-pitched noise, too, depending on how close they are to the ship.

 

I'd check youtube and see if you can find videos with sound of glaciers calving. And the kittiwakes squawking :)

a very negative post. :eek:

[CowPrincess]

a very negative post. :eek:

 

How is providing important information "negative"? If you've never experienced the sound of glaciers calving you have no idea about the sound. So how can my telling the OP about it in order for her to prepare her son, AND giving her suggestions about preparing her son, be "negative"?

[sail7seas]

mll1013:

 

I hope you and your family have a wonderful cruise. Enjoy every minute aboard that pretty ship and have a great time! Look forward eagerly to it. :)

 

[AirGorilla]

a very negative post. :eek:

 

Merely reality!!

 

AG

[momofmeg]

How is providing important information "negative"? If you've never experienced the sound of glaciers calving you have no idea about the sound. So how can my telling the OP about it in order for her to prepare her son, AND giving her suggestions about preparing her son, be "negative"?

 

I did not find it negative. In my mind, it showed that you have some personal experience with this. If anything was negative, it was the OP's original post, dissing HAL for having formal nights, saying they were 30 years behind the times.

 

However, now that she has expalined her situation, I now realize this was said simply in frustration.

[CowPrincess]

momofmeg, I hope the OP comes back to this thread -- the "Special Needs" dept (as I mentioned a ways back) can offer assistance with her cruise, and she should be aware of them, at least.

[suse]

momofmeg, I hope the OP comes back to this thread -- the "Special Needs" dept (as I mentioned a ways back) can offer assistance with her cruise, and she should be aware of them, at least.

I misunderstood. I thought you were trying to disuade them from HAL.

[momofmeg]

I misunderstood. I thought you were trying to disuade them from HAL.

 

I don't know about Cow Princess, but I wasn't trying to dissuade her myself, I was thinking of what would be best for her. If anyone looks at my profile,they will see I am not a cruise line loyalist, and although I prefer HAL or Celebrity, it is because these lines fit my needs best.

 

My needs are not the OP's, I am a 50 plus woman with one grown daughter. Back when my daughter was younger, we usually cruised Carnival or RCI, as those lines were better for her as a teen.

 

Last year we tried NCL for the first time. We needed to go Thanksgiving week in order for our daughter,who works in the school system to go with us, and the Pearl had a suberb price for that week.

 

We did enjoy their freestyle, but I do prefer having some of the little extras, that the premium mainstream lines give. (and if we had waited 2 more weeks to book, we could have cruised the Eurodam for almost the same price-oh well) Still though, I thought the Pearl a very nice ship (although I preferred my cruise on the Westerdam 7 months before) and I can honestly say I preferred the Pearl to RCI Mariner of the Seas, and Carnival Miracle. I found the Pearl to be about equal to Caribbean Princess.

[SwissMyst]

momofmeg, going a little off topic here but I noticed you sailed the "Love Boat" Pacific Princess a few times.

 

Her sister ship is now the MV Discovery which we will be sailing soon for 42 days from Hong Kong to Capetown winding through the Indian Ocean ports and islands.

 

Got any tips or memories about your "Love Boat" sails to pass on. I don't know how many changes have been made to these ships from your days til now, but since it is a smaller ship with no balconies there is no too much to change.

 

The biggest concern is the 130 sq ft rooms, after getting spoiled with HAL's much larger ones with all the good storage space. 42 days in a 130 sq ft room on a smaller ship is my biggest curiosity. How did this work for you?

 

Thanks.

[mll1013]

momofmeg, I hope the OP comes back to this thread -- the "Special Needs" dept (as I mentioned a ways back) can offer assistance with her cruise, and she should be aware of them, at least.

 

Actually, I have been monitoring the thread, but I missed your post on special needs... I'm glad you brought it back up here, so I could go hunt it down. In that post, you said...

 

mll1013 I hope you didn't interpret my "glacier" comments as any attempt to discourage you from HAL -- IMHO forewarned is forearmed, and I just wanted you to have the information.

 

If you contact HAL's "special needs" department they will do everything they can to accommodate you and your son's specific needs. If it were me taking an autistic child on a cruise, I'd probably choose the Lido for dinners -- much quicker, usually lots of tables available, so you can pick one out of the line of much stimulation. If your son has issues with food, you definitely need to talk to "special needs" -- they may suggest a 4 top in fixed dining. And I think "special needs" is the area you'd need to discuss any special food requirements.

 

I think you've made a reasonable, reasoned choice. Some will agree and some will disagree.

 

Also, if you have not yet checked out the Family Cruising forum here on cc, DO :) There are many helpful posters there.

 

So many great ideas here, I don't know where to begin... It's great to know there is a "special needs" dept at HAL. We'll have to keep that in mind. I don't anticipate having too many issues, as my son is high-functioning, but there easily could be some surprises too.

 

BTW, what is "a 4 top in fixed dining"?

 

I did not find it negative. In my mind, it showed that you have some personal experience with this. If anything was negative, it was the OP's original post, dissing HAL for having formal nights, saying they were 30 years behind the times.

 

However, now that she has expalined her situation, I now realize this was said simply in frustration.

 

Sorry about that... I pretty much realized by your response, that I must have offended you when you lashed out at me. I apologize if my post was harsh... I think it was because I was still a bit in shock to discover that in an era where cruising has become such a young activity that we still hold on to such outdated (or at least so it seems to me) traditions. But, what I've learned by the responses is that everybody fits a different mold, and that just because I find formal wear so uncomfortably miserable, I shouldn't project that on others.

[Mary Ellen]

BTW, what is "a 4 top in fixed dining"?

4 top is a table for 4. Fixed dining means that you sit at the same table each night in the MDR (unless you order room service go to the Lido, or a specialty restaurant) at a set time. With fixed seating you'll also have the same wait staff each night and they'll learn your family's needs. Open seating is the other option to fixed.

[Roz]

Mll1013,

 

When you go on your family cruise to Alaska, you'll find it's not a young person's sport. Alaska definitely skews older, and cruising in general attracts a lot of older passengers. And if wearing formalwear is so "last generation" and "uncomfortably miserable", then why do some many people in their late teens, 20s, and 30s choose to wear bridal gowns and tuxes to get married in?

 

Formal dining is a cruise line tradition, just like the senior prom. What's wrong with that?

 

Roz

[SwissMyst]

Mll1013,

 

Formal dining is a cruise line tradition, just like the senior prom. What's wrong with that?

 

Roz

 

Todays fabrics and more casual cuts make formal clothes just as comfortable are regular clothes. And just as carefree and easy to pack. What is out of date is the perception one has to be miserable when they dress up. Not the case at all today.

 

At one time dressing up for women meant boning, corsets, girdles and cinched bustiers. I would complain too. For men it meant startched, scratchy collars and out of date cumberbunds that no longer fit middle age waists. For women, it is now lightweight, stretchy, easy care fabrics with easy to wear pants and no painfully restrictive under-foundations needed.

 

Men have many formal choices in light weigh silk twills that breathe and feel effortless when wearing. Today's formal clothes are, fun and if one has not investigated them lately, or since their own wedding decades ago, it is worth a little shopping trip and a few extra inches in their suitcases.

[CowPrincess]

So many great ideas here, I don't know where to begin... It's great to know there is a "special needs" dept at HAL. We'll have to keep that in mind. I don't anticipate having too many issues, as my son is high-functioning, but there easily could be some surprises too.

 

Personally, I'd start with the special needs dept and find out exactly what services they offer. Then as your cruise date approaches, you can decide which (if any) of the services you'll need. They do need advance notice, so the sooner you contact them, the better it will be.

 

For dining, you have several choices. In the main dining room (MDR) you can choose "anytime" dining where you walk up and get a table at whatever time you decide during dinner time. Depending on the night, there may or may not be any wait. Or "fixed" dining (usually around 5:30 pm is "early" and 7:45 or 8 pm is "late") where you sit at the same table, same wait staff, same time, every night. If you decide that "fixed" dining in the MDR is the route you want to go, definitely talk to the Special Needs dept -- you MAY need their intervention to get the dinner time you want.

 

There is also the Lido for dinner which is sort-of buffet. You pick up your appetizer/salad/soup and then order your entree which is delivered to your table. You choose your own table and go to it :) So you can choose a table that is out of the way of too much stimulation, if needed.

 

Or you can order room service if you've had a long excursion and everyone is exhausted.

 

I'd definitely recommend the Alaska board and the Family Cruising board to read, read, read :)

 

I apologize for referencing you as "she", BTW :D Went back in the thread again, and noticed your reference to 1 suit.

 

Oh, one other thing! I may be TOTALLY incorrect on this but I think kids all get wristbands that they have to wear that shows their lifeboat station. Might want to start practising that too.

 

Alaska is FABULOUS, I hope you all have a wonderful time. I'd strongly recommend binoculars for both kids, so they can scan the horizon for whales. That is something that will keep them entertained for hours at a time (especially after their first success) :)

[momofmeg]

momofmeg, going a little off topic here but I noticed you sailed the "Love Boat" Pacific Princess a few times.

 

Her sister ship is now the MV Discovery which we will be sailing soon for 42 days from Hong Kong to Capetown winding through the Indian Ocean ports and islands.

 

Got any tips or memories about your "Love Boat" sails to pass on. I don't know how many changes have been made to these ships from your days til now, but since it is a smaller ship with no balconies there is no too much to change.

 

The biggest concern is the 130 sq ft rooms, after getting spoiled with HAL's much larger ones with all the good storage space. 42 days in a 130 sq ft room on a smaller ship is my biggest curiosity. How did this work for you?

 

Thanks.

 

I only sailed her, the ORIGINAL Pacific Princess, once to Bermuda from NY in 2002.

 

My family and I liked that the pool area looked like the TV show.(the TV show is what made me want to cruise in the first place!) The purser's desk was different- there was no entrance to board the ship there. We liked going around and comparing things. It was so fun! I would have loved to been on the cruise, a few weeks afterward, when Gavin McLeod boarded and said a farewell speech before she left NY, this was her last cruise as the Pacific Princess.

 

No double bed on this ship, except in the two most expensive suites, and no way to put the beds together. The beds were catty cornered and made into the walls, they could not be moved.

That was the smallest ship we have been on-600 PAX-THAT was the best part-embarkation and debarkation was quick! I would love to do another ship this size. I know Princess has a few newer ships, but the prices are steep for these cruises.

[momofmeg]

 

 

 

Sorry about that... I pretty much realized by your response, that I must have offended you when you lashed out at me. I apologize if my post was harsh... I think it was because I was still a bit in shock to discover that in an era where cruising has become such a young activity that we still hold on to such outdated (or at least so it seems to me) traditions. But, what I've learned by the responses is that everybody fits a different mold, and that just because I find formal wear so uncomfortably miserable, I shouldn't project that on others.

 

You did not offend me, not exactly. You did word your first post in an ugly offensive way though.I just hope you realize many of us (older over 45, and the majority of HAL cruisers are over 45) like formal nights and do not want them done away with.

 

As I pointed out, there are lines that have other options for those who don't want it, and when I cruise such a line, as I did last year, I realize I can't expect the line to change to my preference, as that is not that line's specialty for the clientele they have set out to attract. I just simply expect the same of you. You decided this was best line for your family, because of your son, so you need to except this also and stop saying this is outmoded by 30 years. This offends us who enjoy this practice.

[momofmeg]

Mll1013,

 

When you go on your family cruise to Alaska, you'll find it's not a young person's sport. Alaska definitely skews older, and cruising in general attracts a lot of older passengers. And if wearing formalwear is so "last generation" and "uncomfortably miserable", then why do some many people in their late teens, 20s, and 30s choose to wear bridal gowns and tuxes to get married in?

 

Formal dining is a cruise line tradition, just like the senior prom. What's wrong with that?

 

Roz

 

Good point, and I know of a young woman who was married recently. She had a fairly extravagant evening wedding. She was a little offended when some of her guests came dressed casually. I know this because she is a close friend of my daughter, and she told her so.

[mll1013]

Mll1013,

 

When you go on your family cruise to Alaska, you'll find it's not a young person's sport. Alaska definitely skews older, and cruising in general attracts a lot of older passengers. And if wearing formalwear is so "last generation" and "uncomfortably miserable", then why do some many people in their late teens, 20s, and 30s choose to wear bridal gowns and tuxes to get married in?

 

Formal dining is a cruise line tradition, just like the senior prom. What's wrong with that?

 

Roz

 

Good points... traditions are what they are, whether it's on a cruise ship, prom, or wedding. Point taken.

 

BTW, I don't mean to project my own tastes onto others... I have learned since beginning this post (overwhelmingly!) that many people actually do prefer to dress up. Its' just that I didn't expect this, since my two or three times in a tux have been anything but comfortable.

 

That said, I know I will simply wear a suit and tie during formal nights on the cruise ship, which isn't terribly uncomfortable, but it still won't solve the hassle of bringing an extra garment bag, packing extra shoes, ironing, changing clothes multiple times per day. I am obviously in a small minority of people who feels this just distracts from the real reason I'm going on a cruise to AK, which is the destination itself, not the mode of transportation. For others, I am learning that the cruise ship IS the destination.

 

As a funny side-note, I heard my wife laughing at the computer one day recently. When I asked her what she was laughing about, she pointed to a "cruise to nowhere" itinerary she found on expedia. Obviously, cruising for cruising sake is a past time. Perhaps, we'll discover that to be the case on our first cruise next year as well. :)

[mll1013]

You did not offend me, not exactly. You did word your first post in an ugly offensive way though.I just hope you realize many of us (older over 45, and the majority of HAL cruisers are over 45) like formal nights and do not want them done away with.

 

As I pointed out, there are lines that have other options for those who don't want it, and when I cruise such a line, as I did last year, I realize I can't expect the line to change to my preference, as that is not that line's specialty for the clientele they have set out to attract. I just simply expect the same of you. You decided this was best line for your family, because of your son, so you need to except this also and stop saying this is outmoded by 30 years. This offends us who enjoy this practice.

 

Sorry about that. :( I really didn't mean to be offensive, otherwise, I could've come up a work more harsh than "outdated". :p

 

BTW, I hope you saw my earlier comments that we have no intention of disrupting anyone else's cruise experience. "When in Rome," I think were my words.

 

If I were to sum up the thread in two lines, it would be:

 

Q: Is the dress code really necessary?

A: Yes, you jerk! Deal with it. ;)