Helllllllllllp....Safety Concerns

[Soonerbaby]

We are having to work with a mediator to help determine whether my husbands ex-wife will allow thier son to go on our cruise with us. She claims she is concerned for his safety; more specifically, pirates and kidnapping. I have done all of the research, and know that the pirates aren't in the Caribbean, and know the heights of the railings and most importantly, we always make sure our kids are safe. Duh! Anyway, has anyone had experience with this, and what might the clencher be to put her in a position where she has no argument about the safety factor. Any specific articles I can find would be so great.

 

We are sailing on the Conquest in October! Yay!

 

Thanks in advance!

[MrCo9]

Sounds more like a control issue than a safety issue.

 

 

 

 

No pirates in the Carribean?? I've seen all 3 movies and been on the ride many time and you are WRONG Missy.

 

 

As long as the cruise is not going near Somalia or certain parts of the China Sea, you should be safe from pirates.

[billnye97]

We are having to work with a mediator to help determine whether my husbands ex-wife will allow thier son to go on our cruise with us. She claims she is concerned for his safety; more specifically, pirates and kidnapping. I have done all of the research, and know that the pirates aren't in the Caribbean, and know the heights of the railings and most importantly, we always make sure our kids are safe. Duh! Anyway, has anyone had experience with this, and what might the clencher be to put her in a position where she has no argument about the safety factor. Any specific articles I can find would be so great.

 

We are sailing on the Conquest in October! Yay!

 

Thanks in advance!

 

It sounds like she is being more spiteful then anything. How old is the child? The only Pirates in the Caribbean that I know of are the Johnny Depp ones. :).

[Cruise, J.D.]

We are having to work with a mediator to help determine whether my husbands ex-wife will allow thier son to go on our cruise with us. She claims she is concerned for his safety; more specifically, pirates and kidnapping. I have done all of the research, and know that the pirates aren't in the Caribbean, and know the heights of the railings and most importantly, we always make sure our kids are safe. Duh! Anyway, has anyone had experience with this, and what might the clencher be to put her in a position where she has no argument about the safety factor. Any specific articles I can find would be so great.

 

We are sailing on the Conquest in October! Yay!

 

Thanks in advance!

 

Sounds like a lovely situation. If she has pushed ya'll into court-ordered mediation on this issue, then I hate to say it, but all the facts in the world are not going to make a difference. That's just my opinion. : )

[billnye97]

Sounds more like a control issue than a safety issue.

 

 

 

 

No pirates in the Carribean?? I've seen all 3 movies and been on the ride many time and you are WRONG Missy.

 

 

As long as the cruise is not going near Somalia or certain parts of the China Sea, you should be safe from pirates.

 

 

Apparently we were thinking the same thing but you hit the reply button quicker. :D

[w8ing2cruz]

Maybe throw some statistics her way regarding the number of children that sail each year. Also may want to elaborate on the kids camp activities.

[Froufie]

May I ask the age of the child? And 'personality'? I am just wondering if we are talking about a curious toddler or an older more logical child?

 

As for pirates and kidnapping? Is that for real? I have never heard of that happeneing in the caribbean (unless you go one of those 'make believe' pirate ship excursions?:D)...

 

You can obviously keep the child with you at all times and/or use Camp Carnival at your discretion....is she worried about a balcony cabin? or ??? Maybe she knows someone that has been on a cruise and they can answer some questions and aleviate some of these fears? It would be so sad if the child missed such a great experience because of the fear of his mother!

 

I am also wondering if she is just being spiteful? For example if you said you wanted to take the child on a land holiday in Jamaica or Mexico or ?? would she find some objections to that as well?

[arush5268d]

Sounds more like a control issue than a safety issue.

 

 

 

 

No pirates in the Carribean?? I've seen all 3 movies and been on the ride many time and you are WRONG Missy.

 

 

As long as the cruise is not going near Somalia or certain parts of the China Sea, you should be safe from pirates.

 

I agree on all acounts!!!

 

 

She is not being sensible, and she knows it. Cruise ships are very safe. If kids were injured or falling overboard - it would be all over the news.

 

I hope you find a positive resolution to this. Here's a couple of links.

 

http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=241

 

http://www.cruisereport.com/NewsReader.aspx?news=453

 

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/03/05/cruise.ship.safety/index.html

[PegNRay]

Have her take a look at the U.S. State Dept travel advisory page. There is nothing listed for the Caribbean. Somalia is a different story!

[Soonerbaby]

We absolutely feel like she is just being spiteful. She likes having control and putting my husband in positions where it seems he "needs" or "wants" something from her. Anyway, the child will be 12 when we sail. It's an Ocean View room. She hasn't even contacted us to discuss it...when my husband spoke to her, (she is pregnant) she said her doctor said she couldn't have any stress, so she couldn't discuss it.

 

The theory behind the mediation is that both parties come to an agreement, and both parties live up to the agreement. We added it into our joint custody modification because she is very controlling. There is no sole custody, no primary custodial parent, we had that removed as well.

 

We did mention in our last email to her that when we tried to google information regarding pirates kidnapping kids in the Caribbean, all results returned included Johnny Depp! :D She may not have appreciated that.

 

I know we have to have her permission to take him out of the country and to get his passport.

[Soonerbaby]

Have her take a look at the U.S. State Dept travel advisory page. There is nothing listed for the Caribbean. Somalia is a different story!

 

Thanks...good idea.

[jordanaire]

Crusing is very safe! The reports of people falling off ships is untrue! People DON'T fall off ships! Those that have ended up in the water either jumped or fell off the railing that they were climbing on!

 

There are NO pirates in the Caribbean! Or icebergs either!

 

We have taken all of our grandchildren on cruises with us and they loved it! Their ages ranged from 2-14 years of age. We wouldn't hesitate taking any of them again!

 

Our son had no problems getting permission from his ex-wife, allowing him to take his son with us last October on the Fascination.

 

:cool:Bill

[1gr8cruise]

Just another ex trying to get back at someone........typical.....

 

IMO, the mediator will see through the BS.....they deal with it all the time....I hope it works out for you.......I would however try to get the mediator to hear the case ASAP.......its only fair to you 2......

[Max Circus]

Oh my!! Is your husband's ex-wife for real? I would have to think that once the mediator hears her claim, that it would be discredited by the facts. There aren't rampant pirates cruising around the Caribbean with their eyes set on little children. You have to go to Disney's Peter Pan ride for that. ;) Her child would be more likely to get injured by riding a bike than going on a cruise.

[Froufie]

I can't imagine a cruise ship being unsafe for a 12 yr old in an oceanview cabin! Really now! I agree - maybe the mediator (and the facts) will straighten this woman out!!

 

And I think we all now realize this is not about 'safety' or 'approving the trip' ....it is simply another way of controlling the ex-husband and causing difficulties - very selfish (and not uncommon in a divorce situation!)

[Crusin6]

May I ask the age of the child? And 'personality'? I am just wondering if we are talking about a curious toddler or an older more logical child?

 

As for pirates and kidnapping? Is that for real? I have never heard of that happeneing in the caribbean (unless you go one of those 'make believe' pirate ship excursions?:D)...

 

You can obviously keep the child with you at all times and/or use Camp Carnival at your discretion....is she worried about a balcony cabin? or ??? Maybe she knows someone that has been on a cruise and they can answer some questions and aleviate some of these fears? It would be so sad if the child missed such a great experience because of the fear of his mother!

 

I am also wondering if she is just being spiteful? For example if you said you wanted to take the child on a land holiday in Jamaica or Mexico or ?? would she find some objections to that as well?

 

Even though I am not in this type of situation, as a mom of 4, I too was quite concerned when we first cruised with a 3 yo. We had connecting balconys and my heart was in my throat many times as the little one was a climber. My eye was on her and the older 3 every second of the cruise....for safety reasons....as we all know kids can and do get hurt on cruises...not kidnapped but hurt through falls, slips and accidents. BTW, I had no problem being with them 24/7..nor they with us...because we had a blast on DCL. Even got caught up in a hurricaine which added 4 days to the cruise!

 

While I do not know the age of the child...nor am I familiar with custody situations...nor do I care about spitfulness or nastiness on the part of either party.......I just have one question for the OP...Wouldn't it just be easier to take your stepchild on a vacation that the mom approves of without any concerns? You and DH and your other kids can do what you want when you want and with what ever kids you want at another time...and your stepchild can still have a vacation with you that the mom approves of.

 

Sometimes...less is more

 

Of course I don't have the whole story but I am just sayin':)

[5waldos]

Remind her that the last pirates in the Caribbean were what- 150 years ago? Until then it was a valid concern. I agree that this has nothing to do with safety but rather is control. You could all agree to take fencing lessons prior to departure so that should the pirates return unexpectedly, you would be prepared to fight them off.

 

You might also point out to her that the drive to take her son over to visit her is far more dangerous because of the possibility of a road accident, and thus in an attempt to keep him safe, he will be staying with his father henceforth.

[jenndun]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I will be in the same spot this year with my x. I am going to have to take him to court to get him to let the kids go on our 2011 criuise. Can you just ask to have it heard before the judge and let them decide. If she is refusing to talk about it and come to an agreement. I will have mine heard in front of the judge instead of a moderator because he is so spitefull and refuses to cooperate. I hope it works out for you fast.

[Crusin6]

We absolutely feel like she is just being spiteful. She likes having control and putting my husband in positions where it seems he "needs" or "wants" something from her. Anyway, the child will be 12 when we sail. It's an Ocean View room. She hasn't even contacted us to discuss it...when my husband spoke to her, (she is pregnant) she said her doctor said she couldn't have any stress, so she couldn't discuss it.

 

The theory behind the mediation is that both parties come to an agreement, and both parties live up to the agreement. We added it into our joint custody modification because she is very controlling. There is no sole custody, no primary custodial parent, we had that removed as well.

 

We did mention in our last email to her that when we tried to google information regarding pirates kidnapping kids in the Caribbean, all results returned included Johnny Depp! :D She may not have appreciated that.

 

I know we have to have her permission to take him out of the country and to get his passport.

I didn't see this post before I posted. As the child is 12 maybe waiting a few years is really the answer. You don't need this stress either, do you? It won't be long before getting her permission is a moot point anyway.

 

Again, I am just going with the less is more theory. Also, by going to mediation and her having to agree or you cannot take him...gives her more power than it is worth. If it were me, I would wait until she has no control...if only to not have to ask her permission. That would go the other way as well...if the father was the one to grant permission...because we all know there is always 2 or 3 sides to every story.

[robcool]

Just another ex trying to get back at someone........typical.....

 

IMO, the mediator will see through the BS.....they deal with it all the time....I hope it works out for you.......I would however try to get the mediator to hear the case ASAP.......its only fair to you 2......

 

Yeah, I agree. Let it go to remediation (unless it costs too much or will not get done in time). The mediator will laugh this silly objection out of the office.

[crusinpsychRN]

We were attacked by pirates on our 2/22 cruise in Cayman!

[katiel53]

I would think that your stepson would love going on this cruise. Does he know about it yet? If so, I would guess he would try to persuade his mother to let him go.

 

I hope the mediator does see through her pettiness and admonishes her. She is causing herself the stress by being so mean. Good luck.

[PROCRUISE]

Thanks...good idea.

 

Also look up how many American children were unfortunately kidnapped in 2009, and how many of these kidnappings happened on a cruise ship. Most likely, her child is safer on a ship than in her backyard.

[CruiserinCarlsbad]

I have been in exactly the same situation as the one you describe, and the only thing that made a difference to my ex was saying that if he could not give me a better reason than that he is "concerned" about whether they will be supervised, that I would object to them visiting with his family during the holidays for the same reason. At that point his objections went away.

[SheriNtexas]

Ugh.....i feel SO bad for you! I took my then 4 year old grandson on a cruise with me 2 years ago, and WE had a balcony!! :rolleyes: He was perfectly safe at all times! I never let him out of my site! I agree with what the others have said on this thread, this ex wife is controlling and if she doesn't know that there are no pirates in the Caribbean, then she has more troubles then what we can deal with here!:rolleyes: Geez....good luck on all this, and i hope it works out so that your stepson can go with y'all!!!:)