Parents of babies - how do you handle baby's night wakings?

[cruise kitty]

Honestly, at 14 months your child should be sleeping soundly thru the night. You're going to hate me for saying this but, the only reason your child is waking in the middle of the night is because you always come and get him.

 

It's reflexive... "i'm awake, if I cry mommy or daddy will come and put me back down"

 

Time for nerves of steel. You have one month. Let the kid cry it out.

 

Is this a joke, letting a 14 month old "cry it out" of course they count on mommy or daddy to comfort them, letting them cry simply teaches them their needs won't be met, yikes! & I speak from experience DD's are now 22 & 19, very independent & sucessful, & self confident. To the op: babies cannot manipulate you, do what you need to make your baby feel secure, you might lose some sleep now, but it will pay off when they are older.

[cruise kitty]

Is this a joke, letting a 14 month old "cry it out" of course they count on mommy or daddy to comfort them, letting them cry simply teaches them their needs won't be met, yikes! & I speak from experience DD's are now 22 & 19, very independent & sucessful, & self confident. To the op: babies cannot manipulate you, do what you need to make your baby feel secure, you might lose some sleep now, but it will pay off when they are older.

 

 

Sorry, reread this and realized I sound like a meddling old bitty. Please just ignore my previous post.

[ckekjhaze]

It's OK cruise kitty, I almost said the same thing- but realized there are many different parenting styles, and Mother's Day really reminded me how special we all are and how hard a job raising children truly can be.

 

I did a sort of modified attachment, intuitive parenting style- it seemed so natural and the right thing to do. No one in my imediate family or friends had done natural birth or parenting so I was sort of a science experiment that everyone eatched.

My kids were exclusively nursed and I never let them cry for a moment-actually they were latched on before the first sound came out. Luckily they all slept through the night very early, I feel because their needs were met, but maybe just their temperaments. Also they were in slings for most of the day for their first four months and nursed ad lib during the day in the sling. Never had baby cereal or a single jar of baby food-they got really fat on mama milk until they were able to pick up food and eat it themselves. I really miss their baby years- we did all-inclusives and travelled a lot with them. They are so easy and so much fun to be with- even now as teens.

The oldest never even complained when teeth came in- I would find new ones and wonder when they broke through.

One thing I did notice with my kids- they never went down at 7 or 8- they had a final long nursing around 9 or 10 and slept through til at least 6am and this was as young as 12 weeks. Each child is different though- but yeah just had to say that a child who is waking up crying or screaming must be trying to tell you something.

 

Hope the OP has a wonderful time on the cruise with their little guy- he will have a blast exploring the ship.

[tamsocal]

This is something I was wondering about since we will be sailing in a month and our little guy (who will be 14 months) is not yet sleeping through the night. He consistently wakes around 3-4am crying. Although we will be working on sleep training at home in hopes that he will sleep through until a more reasonable morning hour before we leave next month, I have no idea how successful we'll be, or if being in a different environment will throw him off. I don't want it to be disruptive to our cabin neighbors but I'm sure we all know there will be times when our little ones are just not happy and want the world to know it. In the last couple months, ours happened to pick 3am as his witching hour. Do you disregard all sleep training and selfsoothing tactics used at home in order to get them to quiet down quickly? (ie nevermind ferber, cry-it-out, etc and just give him the pacifier/bottle/whatever he wants) Should we talk to our neighbors when we board to apologize in advance?

 

we have 2 yr old twins & a 6r old- we have cruised many times with them and traveled alot as babies..... IMO you have to immediately do whatever possible to prevent your child from crying and cry it out method is left at home. I would be completely offended if you apologized in advance for being a disruptive neighbor. I personally wouldn't do anything differently pre cruise re sleep habits-- whatever you had planned or are working on continue on--

you have no way to predict how your little one will sleep on the cruise -- so I would not stress out about it-- hopefully sleep will come easily & if not do same as other posts-- go to public area & avoid disturbing the neighbors. we just offered feedings in the middle of the night & held-- which we hadnt been doing at home and all 3 transitioned easily back to routine within a week of being home

 

have a great cruise!

[NJfoodie]

Wow, this post is still alive.... :)

For the pp who said they would be offended if we told our neighbors we were planning to let our baby cry at night, that certainly was never my intention. It's more a letting them know we have a baby and we're going to do everything we can to quiet him and minimize any inconvenience to the neighbors. But I would apologize if DS just isn't cooperating no matter what we do, which could happen w/ any baby. I would leave the room and bring him up to an unoccupied deck but even doing that, they will likely hear him wail initially.

 

For what it's worth, we've taken a moderate approach to sleep training; not letting DS cry it out, just consistently following a regular bedtime routine, which we would continue on vacation, and trying to get him back to bed faster with less intervention when he wakes during the night with a similar routine and so far after 2-3 weeks, it's improving. It's not fuss-free but it's not letting him cry for any extended periods either. We've had a few nights during each week where he has slept through, a few nights where he's fussed but only for a minute or two and settles himself before we even get out of bed, and nights where we've still gotten up to give him a bottle and soothe him back to sleep but only once during the night. This past week, even the single waking has been occurring at more manageable hours like before 11pm or after 5am. Compared to where he was a month ago, i think it's been going well.

 

I know this is a sensitive topic but for the pp who noted that baby crying in the night needs something - no offense but there are times when he's not actually even awake but cries a little or just startled himself and then goes back to sleep on his own quickly. Every baby is different. I've spent 14 months checking on his cries nightly so please let me be the judge of my child's needs.

 

My concern is establishing habits during our vacation that will be difficult to break when we get home if it's a significant departure from the home routine. For example, when we've given him a bottle and soothed him back to sleep, he complains when we place him back in the crib. That is the only point in the night where we've considered letting him fuss because he doesn't do it for very long - maybe a couple minutes tops before he goes back to a deeper sleep. We've already gone to him and ensured he's fed, dry, cuddled, and reassured. I know he will stay quiet if I let him sleep with us at that point, but it's something we *never* do at home. I guess I'm afraid that we'll take too many steps back if he starts expecting when he wakes that mom will take him back to our bed after vacation is over. I am glad to hear from other parents that re-establishing routines once you get home hasn't been too bad. Hopefully that will be our case as well but we'll take it as we go.

[bplazo]

When my daughter was two I took her on a trip to my sister's wedding. At a motel where we were staying they wanted an extra $20.00 to put a crib in the room for her. So, I thought that she could just sleep in the bed with me.

 

However, when we got home she refused to stay in her crib and would scream and cry until I relented. She even managed to learn to climb out of her crib. I know it was wrong to give in but I let her sleep with me until she was seven.

 

So, give some thought to what might happen if you to change your routine when on the ship.

[NJfoodie]

When my daughter was two I took her on a trip to my sister's wedding. At a motel where we were staying they wanted an extra $20.00 to put a crib in the room for her. So, I thought that she could just sleep in the bed with me.

 

However, when we got home she refused to stay in her crib and would scream and cry until I relented. She even managed to learn to climb out of her crib. I know it was wrong to give in but I let her sleep with me until she was seven.

 

So, give some thought to what might happen if you to change your routine when on the ship.

 

I think you've pinpointed my fear to a T. :)

[Kerry's Girls]

Wow, this post is still alive.... :)

For the pp who said they would be offended if we told our neighbors we were planning to let our baby cry at night, that certainly was never my intention. It's more a letting them know we have a baby and we're going to do everything we can to quiet him and minimize any inconvenience to the neighbors. But I would apologize if DS just isn't cooperating no matter what we do, which could happen w/ any baby. I would leave the room and bring him up to an unoccupied deck but even doing that, they will likely hear him wail initially.

 

I have found people are very kind and appreciative when I address things in advance on a plane or ship and let them know that I am concerned about their comfort and experience. I think what makes people the most crazy about crying babies is when they feel the parents don't care about others or aren't trying. That said, my girls have always slept better on a cruise because of all the activity during the day and the motion of the ship. I also don't let them get over tired - we stick to a strict nap routine. I bet you'll be fine.

 

One of my girls had a horrible ear infection on a cruise and poor thing did a lot of crying at night until it cleared up (fantastic doctors on board took care of her as well as our own pediatrician would have). I left our neighbors notes apologizing and offering to buy them drinks. On both sides the couples swore they didn't hear anything - I don't know if it was true or not, but everyone was very kind.

 

Best,

Mia

[SusieV]

Honestly, at 14 months your child should be sleeping soundly thru the night. You're going to hate me for saying this but, the only reason your child is waking in the middle of the night is because you always come and get him.

 

It's reflexive... "i'm awake, if I cry mommy or daddy will come and put me back down"

 

Time for nerves of steel. You have one month. Let the kid cry it out.

 

Um, wow. Way to give bad parenting advice and not to answer the question.

 

You don't stop being a parent at night. I cannot imagine leaving my son to scream alone because he's not "supposed" to wake up at night. There have been studies that show permanent brain changes as a result of letting babies cry it out.

[tamsocal]

Wow, this post is still alive.... :)

 

 

My concern is establishing habits during our vacation that will be difficult to break when we get home if it's a significant departure from the home routine. For example, when we've given him a bottle and soothed him back to sleep, he complains when we place him back in the crib. That is the only point in the night where we've considered letting him fuss because he doesn't do it for very long - maybe a couple minutes tops before he goes back to a deeper sleep. We've already gone to him and ensured he's fed, dry, cuddled, and reassured. I know he will stay quiet if I let him sleep with us at that point, but it's something we *never* do at home. I guess I'm afraid that we'll take too many steps back if he starts expecting when he wakes that mom will take him back to our bed after vacation is over. I am glad to hear from other parents that re-establishing routines once you get home hasn't been too bad. Hopefully that will be our case as well but we'll take it as we go.

We didn't use CIO method for 1st born- but twins we did use CIO & a combination of sleep training which worked for us.

Will agree to your concern re worried about transitioning back to home routine once back form vacation. However, this is the same thing that will happen possibly if you are on vacation or if your kids get sick at home, etc. When my kids are sick- all sleep training principles go out the window for us. Once they are well it is a transition to get back in to previous routine & sometimes it happens easier than other times.. Just depends what developmental stage they are at- most recently (age 2.5) we just talked in the middle of the night when they asked to get up out of bed. " No more ouchies in your ear. XX all better. It's dark outside, time for sleeping. We have to stay in our crib til the sun comes out. etc". Same thing after getting back from vacation. it is typically one day to a week of transition to get back into routine. More so a week when they were younger infants & only a day or so at toddler age since they are used to swinging bedtime & naptime dependent on our home schedule- half the week they wake up on their own & the other half we wake up ~1hr earlier to get big bro off to school.

Would definitely agree that if you don't cobed before cruise-- be aware of possible longer transition if you do during the cruise. at ~1yr of age we let one child sleep w/ us when not feeling well & it was weeks of no me want my bed- me want mommys bed...... just a personal choice for us-- we avoid this when traveling.

We have noticed though the more we travel, the easier it is for them to transition-- I think they know just as much as we are feeling it-- that vacation is over & it's back to the old routine :)

Just have a great cruise & you will sort out getting back into home routine w/ the same instincts you are using now

[krijkee]

um, wow. Way to give bad parenting advice and not to answer the question.

 

You don't stop being a parent at night. I cannot imagine leaving my son to scream alone because he's not "supposed" to wake up at night. There have been studies that show permanent brain changes as a result of letting babies cry it out.

 

 

amen!