Roaming children... Arrh!

[GaNavy]

It has been my experience that kids these days are actually very mature, aware of their surroundings and intelligent. . . Individually. But the more of them you put together the lower the level of maturity, awareness and intelligence becomes. :eek:

 

It's not scientific by any means, but as a general rule of thumb, use this handy formula:

 

Subtract one year from your kid's age for every other kid your kid will be "hanging out" with and you'll get a better sense of what to expect.

 

For example a 12 year old going to the lido for ice cream is a 12 year old going to the lido for ice cream. But three 12 year olds going to the lido for ice cream is like 3 9 year olds going to the lido for ice cream.

 

Keep this in mind when a 16 year old wants to hang out in public alone with four or five friends. :eek:

 

On the contrary, I think this is very scientific - and lots of states agree with me when it comes to things like restricted licenses for young drivers, which commonly limit the number of people under a certain age who can be in a car with a teenage driver. But it always depends on the individual kid - some are extremely good at saying 'no.'

 

OK you only made me more nervous. MY son is a seasoned cruiser. Its not him I'm worried about. It's the possible wierdos lurking. He does stay home alone for an hour or two,. He'll be 13 and 1/2 at time of sailing. He's been on several criuises. But he is innocent. I know.... Make him a man etc. Cut the cord.....but,I'd rather be an annoying mother than have another ARUBA situation. What are the odds??????????Am I the minority??:o

 

Aruba? Really?? You'd compare a cruise ship where you're along and keeping tabs on your son (and where, let's face it, it would be pretty hard to kidnap someone) to a situation where mom was a zillion miles away and her daughter was drinking with other underage kids? I don't mean to pick on you, but that seems to me to be a really biiiiiiiiig stretch.

 

My siblings and I were staying home alone while parents went out at night when my DSis was 14 (I was 12, DBro was 11). We all grew up fine, always got great grades, all got post-graduate degrees, never had trouble with the law, have always had great jobs, and never had to move back home.

 

The world isn't nearly as scary or dangerous in real life as it is on CNN/FOX/MSNBC/CNN/<your favorite news outlet here>. I think a cruise ship would be a great environment for your son to have a little taste of greater independence - and the better he is at following the rules you set, the more comfortable you may feel at giving it to him.

 

I hope you all have a great cruise! :D

[ContingentSea]

I think my DW is waaay over protective. My 21 and 19 year old DD's are allowed to roam freely, but DW won't let me go anywhere alone, especially the casino. :rolleyes::D

[GaNavy]

What's wrong with that? Better to save money to buy their own home than throw it away on rent.

 

Playing the hijack card on this one.....

[chipmaster]

Difficult question as all our kids are different as is our impression of how big and bad the world around us is. My concerns have much less to do with whether my kids would do something stupid versus the people around them.

 

On the ship I was very comfortable with them roaming the public areas once 10 or older alone, and so far they pretty much do and its been fine on 2 cruises. If they were in a group like when my youngest one would go with her brother or brothers they were 5 and 9 and 11 but always togather or at least a pair I was comfortable. Again more so not because of their poor jugement but other people and the enviroment.

 

 

 

What age do you thik its acceptable to allow the children be by themselves onboard for short periods of time? I'm not talking about signing out of the kids club and hanging out with derelicts. I'm talking about something like runningto the cabin to get a towel,l or going to the Lido to get their own ice cream. Rumor has it that I'm over protective. :eek:

[Supermomma4]

My "baby" is 34 and I still get a little antsy when he's on his own on the ship...LOL!

 

Our oldest son was a cop for four years. When he went out the door to go to work I would always tell him to drive safely :D

 

He would just laugh and say "Bye Mom"

[toby #1]

Our dgs was all most 13 on our last cruise. He tried the kids club and found it to boring. He's an only child and said he didn't go on a cruise to play video games, said every time he went there that's all they did.

 

Anyway---he was with us most of the time, playing trivia games etc. and only went by himself to get ice cream, pizza or a snack. When he did go he told us where he was going and always came right back. If he didn't I would have been frantic. Now if he had a friend with him we'd have let him go more often. He's a good kid and he only hangs around kids like himself, so I wouldn't have worried.

[ehfl]

OK you only made me more nervous. MY son is a seasoned cruiser. Its not him I'm worried about. It's the possible wierdos lurking. He does stay home alone for an hour or two,. He'll be 13 and 1/2 at time of sailing. He's been on several criuises. But he is innocent. I know.... Make him a man etc. Cut the cord.....but,I'd rather be an annoying mother than have another ARUBA situation. What are the odds??????????Am I the minority??:o

 

As long as he's not prone to mischief, 13 is plenty old enough to be able to go back to the cabin to grab a towel. If he's the type to go banging on doors as he goes down the hallway, then obviously he needs to be attended. But if he's respectful of other passengers, then he should start being more independent by this age.

[morg497]

Just my 2 cents worth - We cruised with our DD (15 y/o at time) and her friend (14 y/o at time). We try not to be overly protective, but...... Our rule was that they were only allowed to leave the cabin together, unless they were with an adult. My concern was not so much that they would get in trouble. My DD is VERY mature for her age. It was more that I know people on the ship would be drinking, which tends to make smart people do stupid things. We tried the radio thing on a previous cruise to keep in touch with adults and they were not reliable forms of communication. I would urge anyone with kids to keep in mind that kids sometimes act differently when their parents are not around and most importantly, cruise ships are only as safe as the people cruising on them. Would you allow your child to roam around a building that had several bars with people of various ages drinking?

[SB2788]

I was on Glory last week and was up on the Lido deck about 11PM just sitting in a lounge chair watching the Seaside Theater. There were a group of like 7 or 8 kids about 5 or 6 years old running wild on Lido. It was super annoying. And of course, no parents in sight...

 

I'd say 12+ is a good age to allow kids to roam the ship. They're mature enough to know what's right from wrong and they know how not to be annoying to others.

[MrPete]

What age do you thik its acceptable to allow the children be by themselves onboard for short periods of time? I'm not talking about signing out of the kids club and hanging out with derelicts. I'm talking about something like runningto the cabin to get a towel,l or going to the Lido to get their own ice cream. Rumor has it that I'm over protective. :eek:

 

At 12, I'm still not ready. But they should never go ANYWHERE by themselves.

[Crusin6]

I went to Guatemala on a humanitarian aid mission when I was 14, stayed an extra week in country alone afterwards. People are just so overprotective these days, no wonder 40% of college kids come back to the roost after they graduate. I guess it's the new normal.

any parent that would let a 14 yo stay alone in a foreign country for a week should be ashamed of themselves. So..this humanitarian trip you went on had no chaparones?

and if it did...they let you stay alone afterward? sorry...I don't buy it and regardless of what you say....it does not impress me at all that a 14yo was left to wander abroad by themselves....just tells me that nobody was interested.....:(

[Name Of The Game]

I'm with you, I'm not buying it either.

[jerseyralph]

I am the oldest of five daughters. When we were kids, we walked everywhere. This includes nearly two miles to and from school each day, even in snow! I have distinct memories of walking home alone or with friends from about second grade on. My mother did not hover and, now as a mother myself, neither do I. My 17 year old has been allowed to sign herself in and out of cruise kids clubs since she was 9-10. She always had a walkie-talkie and she used it.

 

FYI, as a social worker I have known many predators of children. The worst is my uncle. The person my mother sent us to visit with every summer!

 

Cruises are no worse than the neighborhoods we all live in. Do any of us really know just who is living next door?

[Crusin6]

A cautionary tale for you: my brother moved back into our mom's house when he got out of the navy, at age 29.

 

He's 56 now.

 

He's still there. :eek:

 

so is that a problem to them or to you?

did they chain him in his room? Did they ruin his life by making him feel guilty if he moved out? Or did he stay because he wanted to and had a decent life?

 

I would hope that he is gainfully employed or did your parents support him all these years? That would be your inheritance I would guess.

 

One of the best decisions I ever made was to live at home with my mother until I married at age 31.......10 of the best travel years of my life.....and an opportunity to be an adult daughter and enjoy an adult life with my mother.....I highly suggest this if possible.

 

The freedom that living at home provided me was what enabled me to marry the right person....and not rush and make the wrong decision.

 

I am grateful for the opportunity to have had what I had...and feel a bit sorry for children whose parents insist on getting them out of the house.

 

and yes...i was very well employed...very popular...very well educated and very well traveled......I was not a coward who couldn't go out on my own......I just knew to cherish the opportunity I was given.:)

[StillPooh]

any parent that would let a 14 yo stay alone in a foreign country for a week should be ashamed of themselves. So..this humanitarian trip you went on had no chaparones?

and if it did...they let you stay alone afterward? sorry...I don't buy it and regardless of what you say....it does not impress me at all that a 14yo was left to wander abroad by themselves....just tells me that nobody was interested.....:(

I would assume that on a mission trip there was a large group. Once they left, the poster remained with the Guatemalans sponsoring their mission. Hardly alone. :rolleyes:

[Crusin6]

I'm with you, I'm not buying it either.

glad I am not alone...sometimes on these boards I worry that everyone has lost their minds.

[Crusin6]

I would assume that on a mission trip there was a large group. Once they left, the poster remained with the Guatemalans sponsoring their mission. Hardly alone. :rolleyes:

yep...leave your 14yo with total strangers.....with no chaparones.

 

but we do not have the real story here...so why even bother with it.

[elcuchio24]

any parent that would let a 14 yo stay alone in a foreign country for a week should be ashamed of themselves. So..this humanitarian trip you went on had no chaparones?

and if it did...they let you stay alone afterward? sorry...I don't buy it and regardless of what you say....it does not impress me at all that a 14yo was left to wander abroad by themselves....just tells me that nobody was interested.....:(

 

Don't buy it? I don't make it a habit of making things up. I had already traveled extensivly. This was the first time I had alone though, my family runs several non-profit groups in the region now. I go back every year. I guess my point is, everyone has a different upbringing, but this worry that if you leave your kid alone in a mall for 2 minutes they're going to get snatched is unfounded. It can be a dangerous world, but if you pasturize things too much you're going to have a pretty boring life.

[elcuchio24]

so is that a problem to them or to you?

did they chain him in his room? Did they ruin his life by making him feel guilty if he moved out? Or did he stay because he wanted to and had a decent life?

 

I would hope that he is gainfully employed or did your parents support him all these years? That would be your inheritance I would guess.

 

One of the best decisions I ever made was to live at home with my mother until I married at age 31.......10 of the best travel years of my life.....and an opportunity to be an adult daughter and enjoy an adult life with my mother.....I highly suggest this if possible.

 

The freedom that living at home provided me was what enabled me to marry the right person....and not rush and make the wrong decision.

 

I am grateful for the opportunity to have had what I had...and feel a bit sorry for children whose parents insist on getting them out of the house.

 

and yes...i was very well employed...very popular...very well educated and very well traveled......I was not a coward who couldn't go out on my own......I just knew to cherish the opportunity I was given.:)

 

Wow. 31. Popular too? Wow....good for you.

[elcuchio24]

I would assume that on a mission trip there was a large group. Once they left, the poster remained with the Guatemalans sponsoring their mission. Hardly alone. :rolleyes:

 

Exactly, stayed with a nice homestay family outside Antigua. Nice people. Short.:)

[Crusin6]

Don't buy it? I don't make it a habit of making things up. I had already traveled extensivly. This was the first time I had alone though, my family runs several non-profit groups in the region now. I go back every year. I guess my point is, everyone has a different upbringing, but this worry that if you leave your kid alone in a mall for 2 minutes they're going to get snatched is unfounded. It can be a dangerous world, but if you pasturize things too much you're going to have a pretty boring life.

my children..the ones under 18...have traveled WITH GROUPS....the one that is over 18 has traveled much more independently......but no way would I send a 14yo abroad and then let them stay alone....of course I understand that every parent other than me will allow this.:rolleyes:

 

Yep, my well traveled kids...who do not roam around a ship.....are being raised by a duo of crazy parents.:D

[onthehighseas606]

What age do you thik its acceptable to allow the children be by themselves onboard for short periods of time? I'm not talking about signing out of the kids club and hanging out with derelicts. I'm talking about something like runningto the cabin to get a towel,l or going to the Lido to get their own ice cream. Rumor has it that I'm over protective. :eek:

 

IMHO not at any age--over the age of 18 they are considered adults. We've been over this a 1,000 times here at CC. IMHO it's the parents problem and the guests get the brunt of their darlings being out of control. If you know where they are, who they are with and what they are doing, no problem. It's when the parents aren't aware of all the later and don't care is the problem. Please keep being protective of your kids and thank you.

[Crusin6]

Exactly, stayed with a nice homestay family outside Antigua. Nice people. Short.:)

Antigua? What happened to Guatamala? Or is Antigua the name of some city in Guatamala?

[Crusin6]

Exactly, stayed with a nice homestay family outside Antigua. Nice people. Short.:)

but in your previous post...admit it...you did make it sound as though you were left to fend for yourself.....nice try though!

[Crusin6]

IMHO not at any age--over the age of 18 they are considered adults. We've been over this a 1,000 times here at CC. IMHO it's the parents problem and the guests get the brunt of their darlings being out of control. If you know where they are, who they are with and what they are doing, no problem. It's when the parents aren't aware of all the later and don't care is the problem. Please keep being protective of your kids and thank you.

excellent straightforward intelligent post...thank you