Formal nights-the truth how I saw it

[Cuizer2]

Well, I'm glad to see that HAL is being to realize that people that go on vacation want to relax and be comfortable. I think I'll look into giving HAL a try in the near future.

[galleygirl]

[quote name='secretadvisor']Well, the way I see it, you have a lot cruise lines to choose from. If you want formal sail with a cruise line that offers formal, if you don't like it, sail on Carnival! You have a choice![/quote]
[B]Hear Hear S.A. I just ended a Carnival Cruise on the Splendor and what a shock to see on formal night men in shorts and torn jeans and sleeve less T-shirts. Some of the women in shorts and halter tops. What a disappointing cruise for us. If you dress like this then sail on Carnival not HAL.[/B]

[LHC]

On my upcoming trip over the Holidays I will be aboard on Christmas and NYE. My plan is not to stress, add some nice fake jewelry to a black tuxedo strip, bow added pant suit for NYE and a nice velvet red long dress for Christmas. This is a recovering from Cancer and my first balcony cruise. I am praising God for the heat and chance to relax, not what others think, and I do go to a contemporary service at the UM church.
LHC

[fridayeyes]

In a certain workshop I've been known to give, we do the following exercise:

I divide the group based on a certain personality test administered previously. Then, on each table, I place a packet of the sweetener Equal, and say...

"Describe this."

One group invariably says things like: blue, made of paper, .75 inches by 1.25 inches, thin, crinkly, has blue writing on it except for the red lettering on the back. Sans serif font, looks like about 6 point.

The other group takes a different tack: white, powdery, sweet, use it in my coffee, fake, reminds me of the beach, Splenda tastes better

One group is primarily concerned with the outside, with things that impinge immediately on the 5 senses. The second group is more concerned with the essence of the thing, what's on the inside, and with ideas and associations.

Neither side is better or more 'right' than the other. It is, however, a different way of thinking, and a different way of perceiving the world.

I'll let you guess which of these groups tends to obey rules to the letter, and which group interprets the rules more liberally and metaphorically.

The point, however, is that regardless of who wears what, we all love to cruise. We love the ship, the ocean and HAL. And a little tolerance/forebearance goes a long way.

(FYI, there's another exercise about "How to Take a Vacation." Anybody wanna hear that one?)

[Rutland Gate]

[quote name='fridayeyes']In a certain workshop I've been known to give, we do the following exercise:

I divide the group based on a certain personality test administered previously. Then, on each table, I place a packet of the sweetener Equal, and say...

"Describe this."

One group invariably says things like: blue, made of paper, .75 inches by 1.25 inches, thin, crinkly, has blue writing on it except for the red lettering on the back. Sans serif font, looks like about 6 point.

The other group takes a different tack: white, powdery, sweet, use it in my coffee, fake, reminds me of the beach, Splenda tastes better

One group is primarily concerned with the outside, with things that impinge immediately on the 5 senses. The second group is more concerned with the essence of the thing, what's on the inside, and with ideas and associations.

Neither side is better or more 'right' than the other. It is, however, a different way of thinking, and a different way of perceiving the world.

I'll let you guess which of these groups tends to obey rules to the letter, and which group interprets the rules more liberally and metaphorically.

The point, however, is that regardless of who wears what, we all love to cruise. We love the ship, the ocean and HAL. And a little tolerance/forebearance goes a long way.

(FYI, there's another exercise about "How to Take a Vacation." Anybody wanna hear that one?)[/quote]

No.

[tjcletsgo]

I mentioned that on formal nights, we had room service. I don't want to be "judged", nor do I want a big debate here on CC whether my chosen dress is as good as a plastic, sewn on sparkly deal from Sears and Roebuck, ciruit 1975. I have no interest in "preening" some 1970 dress, which, on HAL, is what a lot of people think is "formal" IMHO.

 

I rarely post on this forum, because cruiser's think of HAL as "their ship". If I ever sail HAL again, it will be for the ports, period. I find ship board "life" on HAL incredibly boring. So be it.

[trailercruiser]

Hear Hear S.A. I just ended a Carnival Cruise on the Splendor and what a shock to see on formal night men in shorts and torn jeans and sleeve less T-shirts. Some of the women in shorts and halter tops. What a disappointing cruise for us. If you dress like this then sail on Carnival not HAL.

Nice try. I have sailed both lines and dress is the same, on formal nights you have both on carnival and hal the want to be's in there tuxes and gowns, you have the country club look(slacks and polo shirt), and the women in there dressy jeans and sparkly blouses. The same on both lines. By the way Carnival corp owns HAL.;)

[trailercruiser]

This 'casual' is part of the problem. There are NO casual nights in the MDR at night. The definition is 'Smart casual' which implies an effort to look nice and 'dressed' yet relaxed.Smart casual does not mean just wearing the plain casual stuff you would wear to go to Walmart, the grocery or the garage. This is sloppy casual, a difference.

You have a problem with walmart? They have given more money to charity around the world than any company in the world. I'm sure you must hate that the big evil corporation "Walmart" has donated more to help people than most european countries. I bet that bothers you.;)

[startwin]

I cannot believe these threads are still going... there are about 3 of them now, all fighting over the formal vs casual wear. I've never seen so much nastiness in my life, from otherwise civilized people (I hope) trying to ram their own personal beliefs and opinions down others' throats. Both sides, but one is waaaay worse than the other.

 

MY final word... I like to dress up occasionally. I dress appropriately for fine dining restaurants. I DON'T GIVE A FIG WHAT OTHERS WEAR and it does not ruin my evening or my digestion if they are casual.

 

Get a life people. Life is far too short to spend so much time and energy on this nonsense.

[maxout]

I cannot believe these threads are still going... there are about 3 of them now, all fighting over the formal vs casual wear. I've never seen so much nastiness in my life, from otherwise civilized people (I hope) trying to ram their own personal beliefs and opinions down others' throats. Both sides, but one is waaaay worse than the other.

 

MY final word... I like to dress up occasionally. I dress appropriately for fine dining restaurants. I DON'T GIVE A FIG WHAT OTHERS WEAR and it does not ruin my evening or my digestion if they are casual.

 

Get a life people. Life is far too short to spend so much time and energy on this nonsense.

 

Absafrickin'lutely! :D

[cruz chic]

I cannot believe these threads are still going... there are about 3 of them now, all fighting over the formal vs casual wear. I've never seen so much nastiness in my life, from otherwise civilized people (I hope) trying to ram their own personal beliefs and opinions down others' throats. Both sides, but one is waaaay worse than the other.

 

MY final word... I like to dress up occasionally. I dress appropriately for fine dining restaurants. I DON'T GIVE A FIG WHAT OTHERS WEAR and it does not ruin my evening or my digestion if they are casual.

 

Get a life people. Life is far too short to spend so much time and energy on this nonsense.

 

Absafrickin'lutely! :D

Both of you do realize that reading of all threads are not mandatory. Clearly people do want to talk about it and it you are not interested you know what the cure for it is:rolleyes:.

[sail7seas]

<snip>

 

(FYI, there's another exercise about "How to Take a Vacation." Anybody wanna hear that one?)

 

 

 

Yes. I would like to hear it. Seriously, I would. :)

[fridayeyes]

For you, Sail, anything. :)

 

So we divided the groups again. Each group was given a flip chart and a box of colored markers. They were asked to use the markers and the chart to answer the question, "How do you take a vacation?"

 

Group A selected a single person to be the scribe, and conferred quietly with each other before the scribe wrote anything. That person used a black marker, and wrote a neat, bulleted list. All items were horizontal, and the page had clearly visible margins. The list said:

 

* take time off from work

* get passport and travel documents

* have someone watch the house

* send the dog to the kennel

* stop the paper

* put the auto-responder on your email

* pack

* buy travel insurance

* get extra meds

* get a ride to the airport

* put bags out the night before

 

 

Group B's chart was covered in a variety of colors and hand-writings. Several people wrote at the same time, with the group calling things out all at once. Words were written in different sizes, squeezed in between each other and sideways in the margin. Things were circled, starred, crossed out and exclamation-pointed. The paper said:

 

brochures

Internet!!

Disney World

travel agent

ask friends

beach

mountains

just get in the car and go

skiing

sky-diving

snorkeling

Food***

Paris

hiking

swimming

Tahiti

Key West

shopping

 

Once the lists were made, Group A looked at B's list and said, "You can't take a vacation - you didn't get time off. You didn't even pack!"

 

Group B retorted, "Well, *you* don't know where you're going, and we can buy what we need when we get there. And besides, we're having more fun!"

 

It didn't take long for both groups to realize that the best vacations probably involve elements of *both* styles.

 

(Follow-up anecdote: I was seated with several people from Group A when the bulb in the projector blew. The table, as a whole, got tense, saying things like, "Why have we stopped? What's going on?? We're getting BEHIND!" The table behind us had mostly Group B folks. While someone went to get a new bulb, they stood up, ripped open a bag of Milky Ways, shouted "Candy Break!" and tossed candy to everyone in the room.)

[maxout]

Both of you do realize that reading of all threads are not mandatory. Clearly people do want to talk about it and it you are not interested you know what the cure for it is:rolleyes:.

 

So I'm sorry our opinions have so much less validity than yours.

[Cuizer2]

I've never seen so much nastiness in my life, from otherwise civilized people ...

 

I would not use the word "civilized" to describe the fashion police.

[Cruising-along]

Fridayeyes, I really enjoyed reading about both of your workshop studies. Thank you for sharing -- fascinating IMO!

[cruz chic]

So I'm sorry our opinions have so much less validity than yours.

I'm not complaining about the subject discussed. Do you have that much free time that you read posts that don't interest you? It has nothing to do with the validity of the opinion.

[fridayeyes]

Fridayeyes, I really enjoyed reading about both of your workshop studies. Thank you for sharing -- fascinating IMO!

 

Thank you! What's fascinating for me as the researcher is that all of the evidence suggests that we're born with either the Group A preferences or the Group B preferences.

[Homala]

Fridayeyes, I too enjoyed your workshop studies. I think I'm probably more like Group A, but I kind of envy Group B. In fact, my DH is a Group B type of person, so my life has been filled with a lot more fun since marrying him and I think his attitude is rubbing off on me. :)

 

I see both sides of the "arguments" on this and most threads. I'm looking forward to dressing nice and having fun. I hope there isn't so much drama on my upcoming cruise, but I doubt I'll notice any fashion "offenders" anyway. I liked the person who said they only notice those who are particularly "spectacular" - good description and it can go either way.

 

Happy Friday!

[fridayeyes]

Hi, Holly,

 

We're not too far apart geographically! I know your area well, with friends there, plus we get our beef from Nick Ranch.

 

Both type styles have a lot to offer. When they team up well, they're unstoppable!

 

I'm more of a Group B person myself. For those reading, please note that the Group B folks don't necessarily *flout* the rules, but they tend to be the kind who will say, "What the person is wearing doesn't really register with me. I'm more interested in what they have to say."

[CleoT]

Thank you! What's fascinating for me as the researcher is that all of the evidence suggests that we're born with either the Group A preferences or the Group B preferences.

 

Same here. Very interesting. Thanks!

 

A question though. I may have missed this in your first post, but on what characteristics, verbal, written, physical, etc..., did you divide the groups?

 

I'm B person, but the candy break sealed the deal for sure. :D

[sail7seas]

Thanks, fridayeyes. :) Really enjoyed both workshop studies.

 

Guess we all know in which group we best fit. :D

Question: Can anyone successfully remake themselves to be a "B" from an "A" or vice versa.

 

Anyone want to?

Something to learn from each.

 

 

[fridayeyes]

It's not too difficult to learn how to style-flex, meaning to be understanding and tolerant of one's opposite preference. As people age, they tend to develop competencies in the non-preferred area. They still know that they're an A or a B, but Bs learn to be more linear and meticulous when needed, and As learn to go with the flow a bit more.

 

Some folks are very strongly one way or the other, and some are closer to the middle. To read more on the topic, look for a book called "Please Understand Me," by Keirsey and Bates.

 

In the travel exercise, the As reflected that the B group did seem to be more fun, and they thought they might enjoy a more B-ish vacation. The Bs told stories of getting lost, missing flights, forgetting maps or passports, etc. Once we get past the knee-jerk response that ours way is the ONLY way, and everyone else is an idiot, there's a lot to gain from being able to appreciate difference.

[fridayeyes]

Same here. Very interesting. Thanks!

 

A question though. I may have missed this in your first post, but on what characteristics, verbal, written, physical, etc..., did you divide the groups?

 

I'm B person, but the candy break sealed the deal for sure. :D

 

Hi, Cleo!

 

The test is called the Myers-Briggs, or the MBTI. There's an unofficial, online version here:

 

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

 

The first example (describe Equal) divided the group into Sensing vs. Intuitive types. The 2nd example (vacation/candy) was Perceiving vs. Judging. (Judging does not mean 'judgemental' - it means 'decisive and liking quick closure.')

[annierie]

Hi, Cleo!

 

The test is called the Myers-Briggs, or the MBTI. There's an unofficial, online version here:

 

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

 

The first example (describe Equal) divided the group into Sensing vs. Intuitive types. The 2nd example (vacation/candy) was Perceiving vs. Judging. (Judging does not mean 'judgemental' - it means 'decisive and liking quick closure.')

 

Ah, MBTI -- I've had it done to me more than once.

 

Yep, I am so far on the P scale that it's frightening. I also am a high N, so I can identify with those who are more adventurous and spontaneous.

 

My favorite quote for vacation planning for a P, is to get in the car, flip a coin and go north or south.

 

We have just gotten in the car and used GPS to go wherever.

 

DH is ENTJ and I'm ENTP. Guess where most of our fights are?

 

It helps greatly when you are a manager to know your employees' types. You can then use their talents the best way, and avoid potential conflicts.

 

As for dressing for dinner, as a "P", I'm not into planning and spending (or, in my vernacular "wasting") precious time to dress to the nines. I'll get away with whatever is acceptable while not interfering with what I want to do.

 

To me, in Alaska for example, I will spend every available minute looking at scenery or looking for wildlife and then barely make it to dinner.:)