Debating on taking son next year....

[cruisinbabs]

So we have booked a cruise for next april on the glory. son will be 2 by then (bday is march 10, turning 1 this thursday..yikes!).... we plan on not taking him because of airfare and who knows if he will be potty trained by then? i am scared to ask my mom to take him for the week, but i am going to have to.. i know it might sound selfish that just me and my hubby want to go, but we will be ready for a vacation by then! he will be going with us for every vacation after this one... i just want him to be able to remember a vacation i guess is my point.. my mom and dad ALWAYS traveled with us and my dad (rip) said a vacation was not a vacation without us kids... me however, i do so much (as a lot of parents do) i just want the extended time with my hubby...

 

what have been your experiences with traveling with toddlers?? anyone feel the way i do or different? (and if you call me a bad parent cause i dont want to take my son on vacation, then you need to not reply) i am just trying to see both sides of bringing him or not bringing him?

 

thanks!

[griffy116]

Obviously traveling with a toddler is a different vacation than a romantic get-away with just your husband. If your toddler is close to your Mother, it might be a wonderful treat for both of them to get to spend time together. My DD, SIL and Granson were living in another state when he was born. He was a preemie and had required so much of their time that when they moved near me when he was a few months old, they were only to happy to have someone constantly volunteering to babysit. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed all my one-on-one time with him. I would be delighted to have that special time with my Grandchild. If your child loves being with your Mom, he will have a wonderful time while you and your husband enjoy your cruise.

[cb at sea]

Don't worry about your child being left with your parents...they took care of you, didn't they? And, Grandparents are MUCH better with grandkids than they were with their own kids.

It's good to "let go" a bit...both for kid and parents! Kids learn that parents will return, and parents learn that children are only PART of their lives...their romantic, adult lives HAVE to come 1st sometimes...makes for a happier family!

A 2 year old won't remember this anyway...next year, do the "family" vacation you seem to crave.

[ckekjhaze]

I always traveled with my kids but I didn't have anyone to leave them with for an extended time. My mother had her hands full taking care of my father who was ill. I was fortunate in that my kids traveled well and we always had a great time- even when they were babies. We did AIs though, not cruises.

 

You said you were scared to leave him with your mother, but you said you will have to.

Ask yourself what you are afraid of- is your mom willing and capable to care for him for a week?

Are you scared because you think you will miss him, or he will be somehow traumatized?

Are you scared that something will happen to you on the trip?

 

If your mom is willing and able- then he will be fine and enjoy his time with Grandma.

You will miss him but will enjoy your vacation with your hubby.

All parents should have a will with an updated plan for their kids.

 

Is it an option to take your mom and son with you?

[Wayah]

I took a 18mo old on a 3 hour flight once where they cried the entire time. I became much more willing to leave a child with a grandparent after that incident. Honestly though, its OK to want to enjoy your spouse alone occasionally as long as your child is in good hands. One of the best things for any child is a happy marriage. We still take one trip a year without the kids. We try to time it right after a trip where we had to use the line "If you two don't straighten up, we are leaving you home next time!"

[mara93]

If you're able & they agree, leave them at home.

I don't have that option and wish I did.

[Julienatul]

Traveling with a 2 year-old is not "relaxing" so to speak. They are on the go, have tantrums, and need you to watch over them constantly. It sounds like you and your hubby are looking for a "break" to relax, unwind and reconnect. Your child will be fine with grandma. There is a time and place for all vacations. If you feel guilty take one adult only vacation and later in the year take a small family vacation. You are not selfish for wanting some relaxing time. You are a good parent 51 weeks out of the year, take a week off and come back relaxed and rejuvenated

[RoadTripFanatic]

If you are concerned about leaving your child for a week with your mom why not try a shorter trip together? Another thing is your mom currently working? I know my parents wouldn't use vacation time to watch my daughter. I didn't even bother to ask because I knew they valued their vacation time too much. Do you think a week would be taxing on your mother? It is tough on grandparents sometimes to chase a 2 year old around for a week.

Travelling with kids is a completely different but wonderful experience. We started cruising with DD when she was 2. It was fun. Carnival cruiseline will change diapers for you if you are concerned about that. It is nice having the child care option available. You can still have some couple time and you also get the kid time. It's up to you and what you feel comfortable doing. If you want to take a cruise with just your DH go for it. DH and I make a point to get a way for at least 4 days every year so we can have some alone time. It's important to keep your marriage strong during this time of life. :)

[Kerry's Girls]

I completely agree that you should go have a great trip with your husband. I would only suggest at this point adding your son to the cruise reservation in case you change your mind over the next year. It's harder to add someone to a reservation than to cancel them. I have enjoyed cruising with toddlers, but I would have no problem taking a cruise alone with my husband either.

 

All my best,

Mia

[IttaBit]

I'm all for spending alone time with your spouse but I think 2 is the perfect time to take a cruise. He will love it and imagine how excited he will be to see everything. My best memories of our vacations are of my kids.

[milton333]

How your child travels depends on personality and the particular circumstances of that day, and it's hard to predict far in advance. FWIW, my family just got back from a short trip with my 14 month old, and would travel with him again. I wouldn't say that there's a one-size-fits-all answer here. You know your family best.

 

As far as flights, if you take a toddler, try to get a nonstop flight if at all humanly possible. And buy your child his own seat, it really is impossible to contain a toddler in the miniscule space you get on your lap for an extended flight. DS was fine for one flight. But when every single flight of the entire vacation was delayed from 30 minutes to over an hour, it adds up. He maintained composure on the first flight and had fun. Sitting an hour+ on the tarmac while the second leg of the trip out was delayed was not so much fun. My personal opinion at the moment is that if I can't fly there nonstop, it's not an option for us to travel there with a young one.

 

DH and I just took DS to a nice resort and had a lot of fun with him. Yes, it's different than when it was just DH and I. But it was a great family vacation and I love every moment of my son's life, I wasn't willing to give up time with him. He's only young once. DH and I have been together for 20 years, since we were in high school. DS followed years of infertility, and will likely be our only child, and we savor every moment with him. I regret that I don't see him as much because I work full time, so for me, vacation time is an opportunity to catch up on DS time.

 

DS is a good-natured, easy-going, happy little guy, but even when he's frustrated or over-tired, it's a passing moment, and I can get through the clouds to see the sunshine of his happy smile, kwim?

 

You're asking for opinions, and mine is that I couldn't leave my son for an extended period of time like a week's vacation, not at his age. If I wanted an adult getaway, I'd aim for a weekend in a fancy hotel, nice restaurants, maybe a Broadway show. But a week is a very long time for your little one to wonder what happened to you, and for you to worry if your mom is doing okay with the little one.

 

It really is a full-time job raising a toddler, and it's a lot to ask your mother to do. I work full-time outside the home, and even I don't spend a week 24/7 with my son, so I couldn't really expect someone else to deal with all that entails. Also, I'm 36, which isn't that old, but it is often physically taxing for me to be lifting him, struggling with him during diaper changes, trying to keep him safe when he has a tantrum and wants to throw himself backwards. There's a reason why we parent when we're younger ;) I also have backup from DH. I'd be sure that your mom is physically up to the challenge.

[Mack2]

We took a cruise without our son when he was almost 2 years old... it was aboard the Explorer of the Seas when it was only a year old.

We felt guilty leaving him at home with my parents.

 

Two years later, we took him with us on a Disney cruise, leaving his 15month old brother at home with my parents... felt less guilty, but realized we could've taken them both with us.

 

So, the next year, we took the two boys on another Explorer of the Seas cruise, while my wife was 4 months pregnant... we had a blast.

It was a year and a half after that when we took all three kids on a cruise, my daughter was around 18 months old, again, Disney.

 

Since then, we've always taken the kids with us on cruises.

 

 

It IS different... Your schedule does rotate around their nap times to some degree, but throwing the littlest ones in a stroller while they slept worked for us. Balcony rooms were a BIG plus, since we weren't necessarily confined to the room late at night when it was definitively time for bed.

 

I think the best part about cruising with the little ones is the fact that you're together as a family (with work/daycare/school, you don't spend as much time with them) They might not remember everything they've seen when they're little, but you have the photos which are priceless.

 

She doesn't remember holding a baby ostrich in Curacao, but she LOVES the picture.

 

You don't get too many memories like this at home

I'm happy to say that I'm comfortable with my kids' behavior when we're cruising. They've been on a bunch. My eldest has 9 cruises under his belt, and I'm pretty sure they know not to misbehave or behave poorly.

Fortunately, they love the camps that available... which gives mom and dad some quality time.

 

 

Still, nothing is wrong with a vacation for just the two of you.

We're doing that now for our 15th anniversary this year... not a cruise, an all-inclusive, but still... it's a good time for the adults to "decompress".

[Mack2]

Also, the best thing about being on a cruise is that you are never too far away from the room when there's a diaper emergency/meltdown... and if you must leave dinner, there's always room service and a buffet.

 

Fortunately, we never had to do any of that. There were a few times when I had to take them out of the MDR to calm them down before rejoining my wife... but there's plenty of lounges to sit in to calm them down.

 

EDIT:

Also... the first time we left a kid with my parents, he caught a stomach virus... for the middle of that week, he had diarrhea and vomiting.

When we left his younger brother home with them, he had contract Coxackie's virus, high fever, blisters in the mouth, etc...

:)

 

My eldest sister is a pediatrician, so we weren't too worried, but it's still a sore point with them whenever we go on vacation.

Edited March 7, 2011 by Mack2

[AandBmom]

I truly believe that parents need to take occasional adult vacations. Parenting is draining (as you know). Parents need time to unwind and relax. IMO this makes parents stronger over all. Parents are the foundation for their children and the foundation needs to be kept strong and vacations w/o kids can help with this. Further, I believe that it's a good example to the children that mommy and daddy enjoy doing things together and have a strong relationship. Your LO is too young to realize this now, but eventually he will.

 

Many people can't break away w/o kids because they don't have suitable caregivers. If you do, by all means take the opportunity. In a few years all your vacations will be child-focussed so take the time now. We have 4 kids and have traveled both with and w/o children. We're actually doing a cruise in April and we're taking our 5yr, 7yr and 3mos old children with us. Our toddler will be 24mos old and he's staying at home with grandma/grandpa. Although he would enjoy certain parts of the cruise he would not enjoy sitting still for the flight and I don't think he'd handle the change in schedule very well. Further, I'm not comfortable putting him in camp that young so he'd be with us 24/7. I know he won't sleep well if we're all in the same room and that would make for a tired and cranky toddler and exhausted parents that were wishing they had've stayed home.

 

Don't feel guilty. Enjoy.

[SusieV]

We took our 14 month old on a cruise and even with my mother around to help look after him it was not a relaxing vacation for us. We don't plan to take him again until he's old enough for the kids' club. There are lots of family oriented vacations we can take him on... cruises are for Mommy and Daddy to drink and gamble, go to specialty dining, and get romantic :D.

[sharp_cruiser]

Hi,

 

We took a one year old on a flight a couple hours long. He was fine, airline was not fine (lost the pilot before we left, canceled flight on way home). It was a huge challenge with a car seat and stroller AND the child. But, we made a ton of great memories (was not a cruise but a beach vacation). It was so much work for both of us, but fun in ways too.

 

We have also done a vacation without the baby and left him with my in-laws. They said they loved it and I know they bonded; I could see it when I returned. My husband and I had such a relaxing and enjoyable vacation and it was a great break from child care 24/7. We missed him like crazy though, and in fact we were bored sometimes after being used to the constant dull roar of a toddler.

 

You can do either, and both will be good in their own way.

 

This year we are planning to take a Carnival cruise with him. Lots of challenges again, but the kids club sure will help and they change diapers too.

 

Just some ideas to consider!!!

[bus man]

We faced the exact same situation this past fall. DW and I decided to take a cruise for our 10th anniversary; but should we take DS (4) and DD (2) with us? In the end, we deciced to go by ourselves, so we could have some "us" time. We paid for the grandparents to fly in from out of state, so the kids would have the comfortable familiarity of their own surroundings.

 

We're glad that we did it this way, though there were quite a few times when we would say, "DS and DD would have LOVED (whatever it was we had just seen or done)." Still, we really did need the time to ourselves (we hadn't had any extended "just us" time since kids) and I really think it was better this way.

 

We are a dual-income household, and have the kids in day care. This proved to be helpful in that the grandparents just aren't as young as they used to be, so they decided to go ahead and put the kids in day care during the day, and be with them in the evening and weekend. Thus, the kids had their familiar routine, with the added bonus of concentrated grandparent time at home, which they really loved.

 

Next time, we'll take the kids with us; but I'm glad we did it the way we did. My advice would be make this an adult-only trip and enjoy yourselves -- and while you're there, take note of all the fun things you can do with your kids, next time.

[bus man]

i am scared to ask my mom to take him for the week, but i am going to have to.

 

I think it would be helpful to delve into this one more deeply. Why are you afraid? If it's a free-floating worry about what undefined bad thing might possibly happen, I would dismiss it. After all, your mom managed to raise you, right? On the other hand, is there some specific issue with your mom (strained relationship; health problems; etc.) that would negatively affect her ability or desire to watch your son?

 

Or, are you simply afraid to ask because she might say no? If that's the issue, I would say just go ahead ask. After all, the worst she could do is say no -- but the best she can do is say yes! I had this exact same concern, but it turned out that the grandparents (my parents-in-law) were THRILLED to have a chance at a week with just their grandkids. You won't know until you ask!

 

Good luck with whatever you do, and I hope you have a wonderful vacation.

[melanie1877]

When my son was 2, my husband and I went on an adults only vacation to Costa Rica. While we had a great time, and enjoyed being alone together, all I could think of was how much my son would have enjoyed every adventure we went on! After that, I swore I would never go away for a full week without him again. Last year, when he was three, I took him on his (and mine) first cruise. I was really worried with how he would do with the MDR, the swimming pool area, and just worried about an all around melt down. Well....he did great!!! Was an angel in the dining room, and I just loved sharing every new experience with him. I think the cruise is a perfect way to vacation with a toddler. So I would say, if you are looking for alone time, go for it, but definitely plan a cruise with the little one soon....it is something you will remember forever! BTW....my DS loved it so much that we are going on another cruise this May. I wanted to do AI, but he begged to go on the "Big Boat" again!:)

[Onessa]

DD (now 15yo :eek:) has been travelling with us since she was a new born. She is a great traveller and I cannot imagine any one of our trips (land or sea) without her company. We'll miss her when she is off on her own -- they grow up so fast.

 

We too are dual income, both with challenging careers and lots of volunteer work -- but we make it a point to connect individually and as a whole family. We've made decisions as to what is most important to us. You need to work through what is most important to you, your spouse, and your child now -- it could be that you do need a couples vacation, or it may be that a vacation without your DS really isn't a vacation for you.

 

While she may not remember anything specific about some of the earliest trip, I believe a large part of who she is now has been shaped by all of her experiences. Even though she may not remember me hauling her around Yosemite in a backpack carrier when she was 8MO, her being with DH and I throughout that adventure is a little part of who she is now.

 

While she may have had some great experiences staying with relatives -- I can tell you that when I was a kid, and my parents went off to be "alone" together every year, it was not a positive experience for me. Early on my maternal grandmother had the "honor" of taking care of me and my older sister -- DGM was not accustom to dealing with little ones and to take care of us she was pulled away from her job, which she truly loved, for two weeks each year. In later years, my parents paid neighbors to take me in (for an "almost only" child to be thrust into a family with 8 kids, it was not fun) and then much later my sister was forced to give up her spring break to take care of me. By the time I was in 8th grade I was staying home alone. So I can tell you that it is NOT always a great experience for either the kids left behind or the people with whom they are left. If the OP does not feel that her parents would really like the responsibility of her son for the week, she should take that into consideration.

Edited March 8, 2011 by Onessa

[G&TQ]

My son has stayed with my Mother and my Brother (they live together) on our last two crusies. Everyone loved it. DM and DB took him all around my home town that we never get to cram into our weekend trips there. We knew he was safe and happy. Now we did leave the numbers to all of our close friends and drs. ect. Even our daycare told us to give thier number to my mom in case she had questions. We also left medical waivers for My mom and inlaws and two set of friends so if something got lost. My best friend call my mom everyday to check on them.

 

We had a great time on the cruise. Never worried.

 

Now we are preparing for our first family cruise. He is 6 and is so excited.

 

If you think your mom will be fine with him go for it. but go with you gut or you will second guess your self. Have a happy cruise!

[Mom2B&Z]

We began travelling with our two boys when they were 4 and 2 (they are now 6 and 3), and we've never looked back! DH and I both work full time, but we have committed to spending as much time with our kids as possible outside of our work responsibilities. That means they travel with us. DH went to Paris (supervising a school trip) when DS1 was 18 months old and I was very surprised at how DS1 was affected by his absence. I expected him to realize DH was gone, but he was quite uneasy knowing DH was so far away.

There are other ways of having couple time without leaving the kids for a week. We have my parents have the boys over for "sleepovers" 4-5 times a year, it lets us get out for an adult dinner and time together without the worry of being too far away if something were to happen. My parents are in their late 60's but I know they could not manage the boys for a week. A couple of days, yes, but not a week.

Even while on the ship there are ways of having time to yourself: drop the kids off at kids club for an hour or two or get a balcony room and sit out every night while the kids are asleep.

The memories we have from travelling together are truly priceless, I wouldn't give them up for anything.

 

DD (now 15yo :eek:) has been travelling with us since she was a new born. She is a great traveller and I cannot imagine any one of our trips (land or sea) without her company. We'll miss her when she is off on her own -- they grow up so fast.

 

We too are dual income, both with challenging careers and lots of volunteer work -- but we make it a point to connect individually and as a whole family. We've made decisions as to what is most important to us. You need to work through what is most important to you, your spouse, and your child now -- it could be that you do need a couples vacation, or it may be that a vacation without your DS really isn't a vacation for you.

 

While she may not remember anything specific about some of the earliest trip, I believe a large part of who she is now has been shaped by all of her experiences. Even though she may not remember me hauling her around Yosemite in a backpack carrier when she was 8MO, her being with DH and I throughout that adventure is a little part of who she is now.

 

While she may have had some great experiences staying with relatives -- I can tell you that when I was a kid, and my parents went off to be "alone" together every year, it was not a positive experience for me. Early on my maternal grandmother had the "honor" of taking care of me and my older sister -- DGM was not accustom to dealing with little ones and to take care of us she was pulled away from her job, which she truly loved, for two weeks each year. In later years, my parents paid neighbors to take me in (for an "almost only" child to be thrust into a family with 8 kids, it was not fun) and then much later my sister was forced to give up her spring break to take care of me. By the time I was in 8th grade I was staying home alone. So I can tell you that it is NOT always a great experience for either the kids left behind or the people with whom they are left. If the OP does not feel that her parents would really like the responsibility of her son for the week, she should take that into consideration.

[celle]

So we have booked a cruise for next april on the glory. son will be 2 by then (bday is march 10, turning 1 this thursday..yikes!).... we plan on not taking him because of airfare and who knows if he will be potty trained by then? i am scared to ask my mom to take him for the week, but i am going to have to.. i know it might sound selfish that just me and my hubby want to go, but we will be ready for a vacation by then! he will be going with us for every vacation after this one... i just want him to be able to remember a vacation i guess is my point.. my mom and dad ALWAYS traveled with us and my dad (rip) said a vacation was not a vacation without us kids... me however, i do so much (as a lot of parents do) i just want the extended time with my hubby...

 

what have been your experiences with traveling with toddlers?? anyone feel the way i do or different? (and if you call me a bad parent cause i dont want to take my son on vacation, then you need to not reply) i am just trying to see both sides of bringing him or not bringing him?

 

thanks!

 

We always took our children with us on holidays but, as a grandmother, I would jump at the chance of one-on-one time with our granddaughter!

 

If your mother is willing, I say go on your holiday with your DH.

[YOWmom]

Of our last 4 cruises, we've done 2 with the kids, and 2 without (when our youngest was 13 months, and again when she was 21 months), so no judgement here - only you know what will work best for your family, and you shouldn't feel guilty about taking some grown-up time :)

 

On the two cruises without the kids, we opted for 4 nights (mainly due to lack of vacation days, but also because the little one was still very young, but did absolutely fine with her grandma all the same).

 

Since you're booked on Glory, I will say that when we cruised with our girls on that ship (when the baby was 11 months old and big sister was 5), the staff were absolutely wonderful with both of them. Also at 2, your son will be able to go to Camp Carnival regardless of whether he's potty trained or not. However, if he isn't, he may not be happy about not being able to go in the swimming pool - at 11 months our DD didn't really notice. Anyway, just a few things to keep in mind if you do decide to bring him along.

Edited March 11, 2011 by marie73

[MMoore1851]

I say if your mom is able to take him for the week, then you and your hubby go! My daughter is 18 months old, and in December we took her to Disney for a week. It was the worst week of my life. I love her more than life itself, but it was awful. She wanted to run everywhere and see everything, refused to get in her stroller, refused to sit in high chairs, screamed bloody murder when I was trying to put her in them, etc. Basically being a typical 15 month old. Not only will she not remember it, but I didn't make all those 'special memories' watching her that people in favor of dragging kids on vacations that they are too young for always promise. I was as nervous as a cat trying to watch her constantly, frustrated with her because she was acting out, and exhausted from chasing her all over WDW. And we even had my mother-in-law along for help. She wore all three of us out!

 

DH has selective amnesia and wants to take her on a cruise this September, right before her second birthday. I say NO WAY. It's not a vacation at all for the two of us, and she doesn't know any difference. She loves both sets of grandparents and regularly spends 4-5 days at a time with them (they live in another state). I say we take her to the beach for a few days early in the summer and have our "family" vacation, then leave her with grandma while we cruise in September. Next year, she will be three and she'll be ready, but right now, she isn't.

 

Look at it this way: since your son will be 2, he probably won't be potty trained, and therefore he can't go in any of the pools. The kids clubs will take them at age 2, but he might not want to be there, or you might not feel comfortable leaving him with strangers and older kids. So, basically you might have to entertain him 24/7, and also not let him see the pools because he will want to get in them. That's tough on you, and stinks for him. Whatever you decide, have fun!!

Edited March 11, 2011 by MMoore1851