What's with the cruise workers Groupies?

[Starlight Durban Cruising]

...

That being said from nearly every crew member I have talked to I almost always hear the same story that closely resembles the content of trying to make money to send home or for their family ect. What this tells me is they work very hard all week every week with the hopes of getting a little bonus at the end. Even though I enjoy spreading the Rider pride I am sure they would appreciate a monetary gift over a Saskatchewan Roughrider t-shirt.

 

I agree. My family work closely with the cruise industry, and interact a fair amount with the crew when the ships dock. Many of them get very limited time to get off the ship in any particular port (e.g. 9am to 3pm, or less), and when they do, it is typically to phone home with a calling card (which in many parts of the world is cheaper than having a cell phone/sim card for each country/port that they travel to). Playing "tourist" costs crew a great deal if they are in port every 4 to 7 days - and on a limited income.

 

Also they often need something from a supermarket/pharmacy that is just not available right there at the port - or that might be super expensive to purchase at the "We're the most convenient store for your shopping RIGHT AT THE PORT". Where my parents have gotten to know some of the crew they have even helped them out by making a needed-item purchase at a regular supermarket on the way home at the end of the day once the ship has left port, and then take it back for the crew member to collect (and reimburse) when the ship is back in port a couple of days later.

 

So I'd agree that cash tips are appreciated by the crew, or even the offer of getting something for them from port if you are getting off for the day to do local sight-seeing, and they are on duty that day when you stop in PV/Cabo/etc. It could be something small and inexpensive that they need, but the offer to help a person out is even more appreciated. Obviously, if the cost is high, then make sure you agree upfront about payment for the item.

[ShakyBeef]

Yea, that's weird.. If she made a picture to give to her teacher, that's cute. If she gave her an Outback gift card that you bought, that's weird..

 

Hmmm. OK.

 

See, I was trying to be thoughtful (once again, employing the Golden Rule) and guiding my DD to pick gifts that her teacher would enjoy, not just one more hand-crafted knick-knack to take up space and collect dust. I've known too many teachers and staff that wish they didn't get so much of that stuff.

 

My DD picks from our favourite local restaurants (not anything as mundane as Outback, BTW) that she is excited to share with her teacher and we buy a gift certificate for her.

 

And my DD also picks out the flowers and candies. That girl puts a lot of thought into her choices of gifts, but I guess they aren't "cute" unless she made them. I see that's where we went wrong - we were being thoughtful, not cute. Yah, you're right. That is weird.:rolleyes:

[silygirl77]

The story below is really beautiful. Thanks for sharing it Jessemon. Additionally, I agree the OP won't get any comment that doesn't agree with his worldview... he believes that everyone would react to a gift the way he would when really everyone reacts/feels differently about receiving gifts. Truly lovely story about your ex helping the young lady from her Grandmother's town in Poland with her first Christmas away from home.

 

I just have to do this but first...A small gift goes a long way...My ex-wife had a Christmas pin she wore for years that her grandmother gave her. On a Celebrity 11 night cruise at Christmas the young lady that did the wine service in the MDR was great. She also everyday was in the Lido area of that ship and came to visit us at every lunch. One day out of nowhere my ex said I want to give her this pin that meant so much to her. The young lady said I couldn't and the ex said please my grand mother would have wanted you to have it....She was born in the same town as her in Poland.....

This young lady was far away from home and for her first Christmas at sea on a cruise ship working and was thousands of miles away from home...She cried...The hugs and kisses kept coming....

This trinket was worth little money but much to my ex....And much to the young lady on that ship far away from home at Christmas....We never saw her without it after the ex gave it to here....Even one day on shore....

Little things make a difference in all our lives....

 

 

As to the "OP" I was going to say something snide about your post but after thinking about it, you won"t understand....:(

[iluvdoxies]

Wanting to give pictures to stewards, giving little candies as treats, having a steward party and drink with you on your balcony(a firable offense by the way), wanting to knit something for them??? You people are groupies. You pay your tips and if they go way above and beyond tip them extra. To patronize them is sad. As one who did that job I absolutely refused these handouts, I told them I am working and its my job, quit trying to pity me. I guess if you run out to the mailma who is working extremely hard and give him candy, bring candy to the grocery store for the cashier who is working hard, bring candy or books to the strabucks employee serving your coffee i'd get it. People please quit treating these people like dogs. A simple thank You will suffice. :mad:

 

THe room stewards work very hard so what's wrong with giving them a little treat ? The times we have, they are delighted.

 

BTW I gave ny mailman some Easter candy the Sat before Easter, you shouls have seen the smile on his face :)

[ib4cruzn]

Wanting to give pictures to stewards, giving little candies as treats, having a steward party and drink with you on your balcony(a firable offense by the way), wanting to knit something for them??? You people are groupies. You pay your tips and if they go way above and beyond tip them extra. To patronize them is sad. As one who did that job I absolutely refused these handouts, I told them I am working and its my job, quit trying to pity me. I guess if you run out to the mailma who is working extremely hard and give him candy, bring candy to the grocery store for the cashier who is working hard, bring candy or books to the strabucks employee serving your coffee i'd get it. People please quit treating these people like dogs. A simple thank You will suffice. :mad:

 

I, too, am going to have to agree here. They may be gracious and accept your bauble but it'll probably clear the railing as you round the corner.

 

They can't feed their families on candy and pictures and, trust me, they are anything but your friend.

 

YMMV

[missypriss19]

A lot of people on here are the glass is half empty kinda folk. I am a nurse. I am a professional and it makes my day to have a patient or patient family to bring me something. No matter how small, a card, candy, stuffed toy, flowers or my favorite chocolate. I do not find it patranizing. I feel that that is there way of saying I went above and beyond their expectation.

I am sorry that some of you go through life thinking like this. Must be one downer after another

[TriciaEMTB]

I don't get this whole "Dont gift teachers" thing. My mom was a teacher. She got gifts all the time, and never thought it was weird. She got food, gift cards, home made crafts... Then again she taught special education and was normally with the child for all three years of middle school and worked closely with their parents.

 

The teacher is a large part of your child's life for a year, sometimes more if they teach multiple subjects or run a club at the school. It's natural that especially younger children would want to gift them something.

 

My family always remembered teachers on teacher appreciation day. My grandmother makes beautiful crafts and I would usually give the teachers something she made.

 

Don't want gifts, don't have a teacher's appreciation day :-P

[Crystalbast]

Cruise staff live in extremely cramped quarters and, frankly, it is just not practical for cruisers to load them up with various types of junk. If you have not read the book Cruise Confidential, the author talks a lot aout the size of the cabins. Wanting to give a great staff member a gift is extremely thoughtful but people need to be realistic. Cruise lines pay many of the staff paltry wages and these people are expected to make the bulk of their earnings through tips. An extra monetary gift for good service would go a lot further to helping a worker support his/er family back home then some piece of junk taking up space in his/her cabin.

 

I have observed some cruisers (not all) who seem to think that every cruise employee knows ALL of the cruise staff hired by Carnival (hardly a practical thought as each cruise line hires thousands of employees). I have watched a couple sit in the Lido Deck Buffet and talk a waiter to death with all the cruise staff the couple as met and does he/she know this person or that person. There does come a point where some cruisers do start to interfer with a staff member's doing their job.

 

I love meeting new people and I am always friendly to the cruise staff but I am conscious of the balance between being friendly and being overly friendly.

[hubofhockey]

Wanting to give pictures to stewards, giving little candies as treats, having a steward party and drink with you on your balcony(a firable offense by the way), wanting to knit something for them??? You people are groupies. You pay your tips and if they go way above and beyond tip them extra. To patronize them is sad. As one who did that job I absolutely refused these handouts, I told them I am working and its my job, quit trying to pity me. I guess if you run out to the mailma who is working extremely hard and give him candy, bring candy to the grocery store for the cashier who is working hard, bring candy or books to the strabucks employee serving your coffee i'd get it. People please quit treating these people like dogs. A simple thank You will suffice. :mad:

 

I knew you would get some negative reaction on this one. But I agree with you. It is very patronizing and some people don't realize that they are putting the stewards and waiters in an awkward position unless they "play along" with you. I guess I thought that all these workers wanted was for you to be polite, appreciative, understanding of their tough schedules, and for you to remember that with a generous gratuity.

[PAPERBKWRITER]

Groupies? No. Someone who is trying to show someone else that they appreciate them, yes. It's good manners, as is graciously saying thank you when you receive a gift...any gift. No one pitied you, but you. It's a shame that you could not appreciate what people were trying to do for you.

I agree with OP. Have you ever invited your waitress to have desert with you in a restuarant? Same principal. Showing appreciation by tipping extra (cash) is the proper way to method.

[pjhootch]

It is kind of funny how worked up people get over what are essentially cultural differences. Gifts that have some personal connection or significance (like the story about the pendant) naturally are not condescending or patronizing. Random gifts that can be distributed like candy or chocolate can't do any harm even if they may not be useful. The offer to pick up some needed item at a port (that is accepted) clearly can be useful and very appreciated.

 

The bottom line is that I don't know, and won't know, any worker well enough to give them a gift they would really appreciate. So I'll stick to tips and a thank you. If someone gets close enough to a cruise employee to pick out something personal... good job.

 

However, so many of the posts about giving little goodies from home or goodie bags catch my eye too. The reason it seems patronizing is because the cruise workers are intelligent human beings and realize it is what someone in a previous post described... instead of a tip, because it is less expensive to give out the goodie bags than to leave a solid tip.

 

People may not mean to be patronizing, but candy instead cash is kind of a poor trade for a working adult. Goodie bags are great for children's birthday parties but not so much for a grown up.

 

People that are arguing about giving gifts to teachers, apparently haven't gotten in the middle of the bidding wars that go in many schools where parents try to "outgift" each other by getting things for teachers. It can get ridiculous and makes the teacher and the poorer students uncomfortable. But to each their own... cultural differences. Depends on how you grew up and what you were taught is appropriate. Not worth pitying each other over, for sure.

[chadman]

I just have to do this but first...A small gift goes a long way...My ex-wife had a Christmas pin she wore for years that her grandmother gave her. On a Celebrity 11 night cruise at Christmas the young lady that did the wine service in the MDR was great. She also everyday was in the Lido area of that ship and came to visit us at every lunch. One day out of nowhere my ex said I want to give her this pin that meant so much to her. The young lady said I couldn't and the ex said please my grand mother would have wanted you to have it....She was born in the same town as her in Poland.....

This young lady was far away from home and for her first Christmas at sea on a cruise ship working and was thousands of miles away from home...She cried...The hugs and kisses kept coming....

This trinket was worth little money but much to my ex....And much to the young lady on that ship far away from home at Christmas....We never saw her without it after the ex gave it to here....Even one day on shore....

Little things make a difference in all our lives....

 

 

As to the "OP" I was going to say something snide about your post but after thinking about it, you won"t understand....:(

What a nice touch that was I'm sure that young lady will never forget you. By the way think we are sailing together on 9/3/11:D:D:D

[BeccaBecca1713]

CASH people!!! I'll say it again....CASH!!!

 

These folks live in broom closets and don't have room for your state's keychains, T-shirts, bumper stickers or hand-crocheted doileys depicting your state bird.

 

Geesh!:rolleyes:

[Crusin6]

I work for the government and had a client offer to send me flowers because he was happy that I was able to (finally) help him sort out his issue. It's not just cruise ship workers that people want to do nice things for.

 

While I support the idea of extra cash tip (instead of gifts), at least these people are thinking about the people serving them and not having the attitude that because of their jobs, they are lesser people who should bow and scrap everytime the customer is near.

As a government worker, did you accept the flowers? Was their value under $25?

 

It is one thing for the mail carrier or the sanitation workers to accept a small cash token at year end..because those workers do not provide any monetary gain to the people on their routes....but if you are the type of government worker who can help someone get money in their pocket..i.e. .... Social Services and other such entitlement programs....then it is not appropriate to accept any gift from a client....

 

 

I am personally acquainted a government auditor...and once someone wanted to send them a tin of cookies to thank them....and when they called for an address to send the cookies to...it was politely refused....because any gift given to and accepted by a government employee that can help a client with their financial gains...is quite frankly...inappropriate.

 

both the giver and receiver in that sort of situation are wrong.

[mzloolue]

I agree. And I agree with HWH. A child giving their teacher a gift is cute. A parent giving their child's teacher a gift is weird.

 

Not really.

I guess it kind of depends on the situation.

 

When I taught gifts were not uncommon.

Most of it was school-y stuff, pencils, reams of paper, teachery cute stuff.

Flowers sometimes.

Lots of pretty junk from the dollar tree from little sweeties.

And end of the year gifts were common.

 

When I worked in a bank, customers would bring flowers, homemade cookies and candy.

Usually it was for everyone to share.

It was not weird or creepy.

 

As far as fratenizing with the cleaning people, I was surprised at one school when the lady who came in to sweep after school told me that I was the only person that talked to her when she came in.

We weren't best buddies or anything, but after two years I knew a bit about her and her family.

I can't imagine myself treating someone that I see everyday as if they are invisible.

[Crusin6]

:D

I don't get this whole "Dont gift teachers" thing. My mom was a teacher. She got gifts all the time, and never thought it was weird. She got food, gift cards, home made crafts... Then again she taught special education and was normally with the child for all three years of middle school and worked closely with their parents.

 

The teacher is a large part of your child's life for a year, sometimes more if they teach multiple subjects or run a club at the school. It's natural that especially younger children would want to gift them something.

 

My family always remembered teachers on teacher appreciation day. My grandmother makes beautiful crafts and I would usually give the teachers something she made.

 

Don't want gifts, don't have a teacher's appreciation day :-P

gifts to the teachers should come from the kids and the parent's hearts..not the parents deep pockets...or so it should be that way...and teachers are a good example of a group that should appreciate goodies from the kids and should not be interested in their monetary value.

 

When my first child started in a very snooty school, I was mortified when at Christmas time I saw the "little blue boxes and bags":rolleyes: being given to the teachers by the kids...right there and then I decided that I would never ever spend more than $15 for a teacher gift. Never did and never will....and 2 of my kids have graduated as Valedictorians ( I only mention this because I will never be thought of as a parent who even bothers to get too involved or give big gifts that may sway the grading process).

 

 

I vividly remember the kids whose parents were crude enough to give the teachers gifts from Tiffany (the little blue box for those who don't know the store)....and those kids never got extra special treatment..nor graduated with honors or accolades.....and only because they just didn't earn them....so even the teachers were not swayed by the expensive gifts...nor were they swayed the other way toward my kids by my inexpensive gift card token gifts

 

 

So parents..if you think a teacher will give your kids something extra in terms of honors..even when they do not deserve them...just because you gave them a Christmas expensive gift...think again.....because most teachers if they have any scruples will give the kid what they earn....regardless of the gifts the parents give them...

 

btw...my snooty school has now gone to an anonymous...cash only gift box at Christmastime..no checks..just cash...deposited into the lockbox with the school secretary...it is then divied up among the staff...

 

Of course the no checks thing really pissed off some parents...because they want the recognition of giving a big amount.....but nope...no checks accepted

[Socref124]

I will start off by saying I don't think that anyone that leaves gifts are trying to treat the stewards like children, they are obviously very gracious of the service they have received and are trying to express that to their hosts.

 

That being said from nearly every crew member I have talked to I almost always hear the same story that closely resembles the content of trying to make money to send home or for their family ect. What this tells me is they work very hard all week every week with the hopes of getting a little bonus at the end. Even though I enjoy spreading the Rider pride I am sure they would appreciate a monetary gift over a Saskatchewan Roughrider t-shirt.

 

Well said.:D

[momof4boys]

So it is weird for my daughter to give her teacher a potted flower at the end of the school year and a restaurant gift certificate (because what teacher needs more knick-knacks? but everyone eats) and chocolates at Christmas?

 

Even though my DD hands them to her teacher, of course the child didn't buy these things herself. So they are coming from her parent.:rolleyes: Just wanted to get this clear. OK. I guess this act makes me weird.:cool:

 

 

For the record, to get back on topic - I agree with those that say just give the stewards cash and a thank you card and treat them with the respect that you would want to receive.

 

But I totally disagree with the tone of the OP.

 

 

First off, I always gave gifts to my children's teachers at the end of the year. I was very grateful for the things the teachers did to help them. I believed they went well beyond their basic "job".

 

When my youngest went to middle school I went back to teaching. If I get a present from a child and his parent, I understand the heartfelt feelings of the parents. I personally have never met any teachers who felt like it was an insult, although I realize everyone is different.

 

We have always left money for our steward at the end and sometimes at the beginning. We put it in an envelope and leave it on the counter. We also give our waiter some extra money at the end, and sometimes throughout the week.

 

If you don't want to give extra that is fine. It's not like I am saying you're wrong if you don't. Just don't make me feel like I am hurting someone's feelings if I give them extra money.

[saskcruiser]

I honestly can not make the connection from a room steward to a teacher. I am not meaning the job status or how hard they work but the personal connection.

 

Giving a thoughtful gift to a teacher that should not accept or expect cash makes sense. (Can not believe the cash box story...wow) They have sometimes taught that child for years and when they go over and above with our little ones those gifts most definitely let the teacher know that it is appreciated.

 

I also have no doubt that some cruisers have made a connection with certain staff that goes further than what I have experienced.

 

But let's be real...your waitress at Applebee's, your bartender at the local pub, and your crew work hard and all count on your gratuity as part of their income. I couldn't imagine if we had a tab at the local pub of over $200 giving my bartender a goody bag as the gratuity. Knowing her she would probably smile at the thoughtfulness but inside she is disappointed.

 

It really is simple math for a room steward. (Ballpark numbers I think) 22 rooms x 2 double occupancy x 52 weeks = 2288 that equals either

 

2288 x $10pp ($20 per room) = $22880 of additional income

2288 x 1 lb of chocolate or 1 key chain = 2288lbs of fine chocolate or a small keychain store

 

or the best alternative I think if you want to leave a thoughtful gift.....

 

2288 x $10pp + 2288lbs of chocolate = A fat wallet and an expanded..well you know :D

[San_Antonio_Ex]

"Gifts" are supposed to be chosen to make the receiver happy, not the giver. ;) It is doubtful one could know enough about a cruise line employee after 1 week to give them a "gift". It is impossible to know enough about a cruiseline employee to get them a "gift" before you have even met them. :rolleyes: It is equally impossible to know enough about their personal situation to get them food of any sort - you don't know anything about their ability to eat sugar, wheat, peanuts, etc. You don't know what they like or don't like - gummy bears or chocolate (Hard for me to believe, but not everyone likes or eats chocolate. :eek:) If you want to give a gift - give them something you know they will appreciate and can use...CASH. :D:D:D

[babyher]

I will agree that CASH , and treating a cabin steward with respect and a big smile is the best way to go.

 

Like others have said , they have limited space in their living quarters. They don't have the room for all this "stuff". Plus despite your good intentions , not everybody may like or need or use your gift.

 

Great give the steward a box of candy ....how do you know he/she likes candy or they might be a diabetic .

 

Say you live in East Podunk "The Razzleberry Capitol of the Midwest" and the tradition there is to welcome someone with a jar of Razzleberry Jelly. I know your heart is in the right place , but not everyone is from East Podunk and not everyone is wild about Razzleberries .

 

There are a lot of "Local delicacies " that to people not from the area are , to put it simply , DISGUSTING

 

Giving key chains and t shirts and embossed items from your hometown are silly too. You think your steward even knows where East Podunk is , or gives a damn that the "Rambling Rhinos" are the 4 time state badminton champs ?

 

Treat your stewards royaly.....just remember CASH is KING :)

[farler05]

CASH people!!! I'll say it again....CASH!!!

 

These folks live in broom closets and don't have room for your state's keychains, T-shirts, bumper stickers or hand-crocheted doileys depicting your state bird.

 

Geesh!:rolleyes:

I agree. Someone mentioned not having the money to give them a tip but would give them a $5 bag of candy. Give them the $5 instead. We've never given a gift. We show our appreciation with good old fashioned cash & let them choose how to spend it. Comparing to the mailman or a teacher is a bit ridiculous. The mailman or teacher can take your gift back to their home. The crew member is going back to a cramped cabin & doesn't have room for your "thoughtful" gift. Candy? How do you know they're not diabetic or allergic to chocolate or cinnamon or even like candy? Just stick with cash.

[cruisenanny]

"Gifts" are supposed to be chosen to make the receiver happy, not the giver. ;) It is doubtful one could know enough about a cruise line employee after 1 week to give them a "gift". It is impossible to know enough about a cruiseline employee to get them a "gift" before you have even met them. :rolleyes: It is equally impossible to know enough about their personal situation to get them food of any sort - you don't know anything about their ability to eat sugar, wheat, peanuts, etc. You don't know what they like or don't like - gummy bears or chocolate (Hard for me to believe, but not everyone likes or eats chocolate. :eek:) If you want to give a gift - give them something you know they will appreciate and can use...CASH. :D:D:D

Exactly. If you give someone a gift because it's what YOU want them to have because it makes YOU feel good or fits YOUR agenda without considering what the recipient would truly want or need, then you have done nothing but burden them.

[Theicom1]

The only two forms of additional tipping I know the stewards like are cash and BEER. Yes BEER. I learned this from many stewards during several late night drinking session in Nassau.

And no Budweiser, they almost universally like Heineken and Corona. And it can't be in the same containers as sold on the ship (metal/plastic bottles).

If, for some reason, the steward doesn’t drink, they can easily turn it into cash I am told.

I have never had a problem getting a 6 pack into my cabin. Even if it would get confiscated, you get it back on the last morning, just in time!

I don't do this instead of cash, it's left in addition to (a non reduced) cash tip, and only when warranted.

I'm sure if many start doing this it may cause some serious problems!

[mwh27]

welcome someone with a jar of Razzleberry Jelly.

 

This sounds great. How can I get me some of that Razzleberry Jelly?