DUMPING kids at camp

[cruisinquestions]

Hi folks. Not a question, just an observation. Why do some people look at kids going to the camp on board as 'dumping them', not wanting to spend time with them, etc? Now, we all know the parents that do not mind their children, on board and in "real" life. But on these boards there's a lot of talk of "if you go on a family vacation, act like a family and stay together!" I had 3 kids, but am never allowed to get a sitter and go out with my husband? I bring 3 kids on kid friendly cruise lines and I'm not supposed to utilize the children's programs and go to an adult show? (Damned if you do or don't as if I bring those 3 kids to that show, there'd be people talking about how wrong I was to do that;) . I can understand complaining about unattended kids on board, in the halls and elevators, especially if they are unruly or too young. But stop already with the 'dumping' them in camp. Camp is there so the kids can have age appropriate fun, and so the adults can have the same now and then. I could rattle off how my family uses the camp. How we mix family time with adult time, but that's not the point as we all have our ideas of what is a proper amount of time together and apart.

I know there are arguments all over this board about proper clothes, proper time spent with kids, proper tips to give, and to each their own with them all! As long as those kids are not upset being in camp, love being there, and are not roaming the halls unattended, let people enjoy, no? For some parents this very well be the only time they get adult time. And I can say for my kids at least, this is as close to 'camp' summer or otherwise they will ever come, and they are looking forward to it.

We all have our opinions and feel strongly about them. Wrong is wrong, true. But how people parent that one week before your eyes is not really anyone's business, IMO.

Jules

[momofmeg]

Are you sure they are talking about the camp? sometimes people are just saying the parents should WATCH their kids. I have read tons of posts about kids playing with elevators etc. that people were upset about. They felt the parents should be watching their kids. I think these people would have appreciated the parents having the kids in the club-camp things instead of the kids roaming the ship unsupervised.

 

I do remember one post on the Disney board who was mad because Disney had adult only areas. she felt as the children and family pools were super crowded that Disney should not have an adult only area pool as it was not used as much.

 

I could not see this reasoning. The adult pool was only one third of the size of the other pools- so it seemed to me Disney realized this pool would not get as much traffic which was why it was a smaller pool. Plus I who only have a grown daughter really appreciated this feature of Disney.

 

So I posted to her why did she not put her kids in the club for a couple of hours so she and hubby could enjoy the adult pool. ( we had ran into several couples that had did this-in fact one couple had got a page from their daughter and they were leaving the pool area to check on her-so they definetly were not ignoring her.)

 

This woman's answer was that this was a FAMILY vacation and she wanted to spend it with her kids which was why she picked Disney. Well I did not post this back to her- but I could not help but feel an hour or 2 break from the kids would not necessarily be a bad idea. I think it would had DEFINETLY helped this poor woman's disposition.

 

You have a good point too. Do these parents never hire a baby sitter so they can go out minus the kiddies? None of us consider that child neglect. In fact most of us recognize both the parents and the kiddies benefit from this.

[Happy ks]

I have always thought of a cruise as a perfect family vacation. You can have time with family and you can also have time alone. The kids can be with others their own age and make some new friends. Everyone can be happy.

 

I wonder if the "dumping" comment is for people who drop the kids off at the earliest time possible and don't claim them until necessary. I don't consider having time away from the kids "dumping" in the least. Not many of us spend 24/7 with our kids at home, they do go to friends houses to play, we do get babysitters (or, we used to) to have some adult time.

 

I wish more parents would consider taking the kids to the kids club, if they have no intention of watching them. The only kids we have any problems with are the ones who are on their own, in the elevators, hallways and running around the pool deck. We have just narrowly escaped having "free" iced tea thrown all over us at the poolside grill, fortunately, a ships officer was there to stop that nonsense. Both DH and I have spoken to adolecents (sp) who are punching all the elevator buttons and running down hallways screaming at 2 am.

 

Our kids are older now, but when they were younger, before vacation we would sit them down and tell them what was expected of them. We would go through behavior ranging from air flights (no kicking the seat in front of you, don't use the seat in front of you for leverage to stand, keep your seat upright, no whining) to behavior onboard a ship (no running in the hallways, only use the elevator when you have to go up or down more than 3 flight of stairs, wait your turn in line at any buffet). Come to think of it, I wish some adults would read through this list! I'm lucky I don't have those hyper/run wild/whining/screaming sort of kids and I feel sorry for parents who do.

 

So, you're right in the sense that how you parent your child is no ones business. But, one should always realize that ones children should be expected to maintain civility in public and a parent should refrain from public discipline that is obnoxious to the point of disturbing the peace and quiet of others in close proximity. Discipline in private, just a look from us would let our kids know how we would feel about their behavior and they would stop.

 

There are always some exceptions that we, as the public have to allow for and have patience with. I work with special needs kids and although I don't work with behavioral or autistic kids, some of these kids look absolutely normal. When they have a meltdown, it can be a disaster for everyone. My point is, don't anyone judge too harshly, or too quickly.

[melissa593]

Jules,

How right you are. I too have 3 boys and they are soooo looking forward to this cruise. we will be eating together some nights and doing excursions together but on the boat they will be able to do kid things with other kids (not boring stuff like laying in the sun all day!!!) I am paying extra to go on a cruise line that has a great kids program (it certainly would be cheaper to take a different line or leave the kids at home). I totally agree with you, it is a family vacation when everyone has a good time!

Melissa

[Nliedel]

No the OP has that right. I asked about using AO one day while my husband and I did an adult tour in St. Thomas and I got a pretty negative response from a couple of people. Since I am with my children 365 days of the year most of them 24 hours a day and we are taking a family vacation I am darn well "allowed" to take an adult tour without someone telling me to leave my kids at home with Grandma. I know I am sounding snippy here but I have seen those posts and they are telling people "if you are going to dump your kids in the kids program then don't bother bringing them".. Umm thanks for your advice but since you don't know anything about how I raise my kids I respectfully decline to follow it".

 

I don't "dump" my boys anywhere, however how much time we spend together on the cruise is really not anyone's business. Remember, this is your kids vacation too and they sure would much rather be at a pizza party then hanging out at the pool with Ole Boring Mom all the time. How do I know that? They said it to me. Darn kids.

[kitty9]

Perhaps the responses are due to what some other people post at times. You will get some who say, "I can't leave my little ones at home---I'd miss them too much". And then the next comment is, "how long can I leave them in the kids program---can we leave them on board in every port when we go on excursions, why isn't the camp open during dinner, why isn't the camp open until 3am---and things like that". Even the Carnival brochure and website states: [SIZE=3]Camp Carnival is not a "Day-Care". The program is designed so that families are able to enjoy "quality family time" together, and yet also have the choice of being with peers of their own age, whenever desired. [/size]

Cruises are the greatest family vacations under the sun but as we all have seen at some time or another, there are always kids who are out of control with no parent in sight. I think that's where the negative comments are coming from. But ignore those and take your family cruises and have family fun. But, mom and dad need time together also, and that's why the kids programs are there.

[MrsPete]

Personally, I like having my kids on vacation with me. I realized recently that I have ONE DECADE left with school-aged children, then it's just me and hubby. While I do look forward to that time with anticipation, I am trying to savor these days with the kids, and right this minute they seem to be slipping away quickly.

 

At the same time, my kids LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE summer camp. If I wanted a vacation alone with my husband, I would not hesitate to plan summer camp for my kiddos. I know they'd have a blast. There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing this -- it just isn't what I choose to do with my family.

[Big_Tex]

I have only been on one cruise at this time & do not know if I have a right to comment on this thread…. But I’m gonna do it anyway…

 

I brought the whole family on our cruise. Out of 22 years of marriage & a few vacations the cruise was absolutely the BEST!!! It was the best because we all found something we enjoyed. Including my 9 year old (at the time)… My 9 year old loved the Kids group. She didn’t look at it like day care. It was time she spent with others her age doing things with other kids her age… She thought it was cool !!! The leaders were fun!! She didn’t do everything with the group.. We let her pick day by day what she wanted to do… We also Highlighted a daily program for her on were my husband, my other daughter & myself would be so she would always know where we were. Every morning & dinner we discussed the days plans… It has almost been a year & she still emails some of the friends she made on the cruise. She is learning letter writing & is looking forward to her next cruise.

[dkjretired]

There are also some people out there who do not believe children should be on cruises and will make any justification whatsoever to prove their point. If criticizing parents who "dump" their kids in camp advances their point of view, its then posted. Its often the same posters.

[cruisinquestions]

Really good points everyone. Some of the things mentioned I may have missed or over looked. I started this thread after reading another thread and yet again I caught the line about dumping kids in camp.

 

Apparently there are a few kid issues people see on board. Whether it's breaking the rules in some way or kids with no parent in sight. And I'm coming to see more and more this is a very opinionated board:)

 

So many things to disagree on, but one thing that is a common denominator always.. our love of cruising!

Thanks all for the responses, still gave some food for thought.

Jules

[2Cruise4Ever]

cruisin ~ you will find several posters all over these boards who impose their opinions and make judgement calls about you without really knowing you. Kids and smoking seem to be the real hot topics around here. Most people will agree with us that taking our kids to the ships' kid clubs is not "dumping" nor is it a detriment to them or us. It's no different than getting a babysitter at home so we parents can enjoy a meal with each other without having to cut up someone's meat or hear, "mommy" all the time. The thought of actually having a hot meal really intrigues me; it hasn't happened in sooooo long!!!! :)

 

 

Just keep your attitude positive and know that it really doesn't matter what anyone says to you or about you. You and your family will have an absolute BLAST no matter what you do!!!!

 

Happy Sailing :D

[Mishelle]

I can say I look foward to cruising and putting my son (6) in camp carnival, not only does he look forward to it but it gives DH and I some time alone. I spend a lot of time with my son and every other year we go to Disney and spend a whole vacaction together. My DS actually loves camp carnival and asks to go there. We eat meals together but he does not enjoy laying in the sun and would rather be with the other children. I wonder if the people who have negative things to say spend or spent every minute with their children. I know I would go crazy without a little me time. Michelle

[njcruisingmom]

One thing I have learned as a parent (my oldest is 9) is that there will always be someone who will tell you how to raise your kids and evaluate your parenting. We are cruisng in June -- DH and 2 DDs -- and plan to let the kids go to the kids program if they want. Not all day, every day. But for a couple hours here and there and a night or two. They'll have fun -- we'll have some private time. Everyone will be happy -- except perhaps for the people who have an opinion on your parenting style, and who cares about them!

 

I inflict enough guilt on myself -- I really don't need to take any from anyone else.

 

One of my favorite quotes is "One of the best things a father can do for his children is to be a good husband to their mother."

 

Have a blast! Don't worry about what everyone else thinks!

[Happy ks]

njcruisingmom, Everything you say struck a chord with me. I'm getting to the far end of parenting (16 and 13) it's been a long, yet wonderful, haul. I'm so very glad we have children.

 

The advice we got that was really hysterical was from older family members and friends who never had children. They were absolutely clueless.

[cruisinquestions]

Funny how some things just don't change. I've been doing message boards for almost 10 years now, and the debate over how to parent is still just as ugly. Not in this thread obviously, but in so many places all over the web. I remember the stay at home moms battling the working moms and the breast feeding moms flaming the bottle feeding mom. Have an epidural or not? Career first or children first? Private school or public ORRRRR home school? (velvet dress in the caribbean or not etc;) )

And any way you choose, someone will beat you up for it. OK, folks, LOL.. I get it.. ya can't win with everyone on ANY board. Ah well.. to each their own as always:)

Happy Cruising to one and all.

[Cruisin' Chick]

My girl (will be 8 on next cruise) loves the cruise ships and loves going to the kids' program so we're not "dumping" her off. In fact, on our last cruise, we asked if she wanted to get off the ship at the next port (you have to sign up ahead of time for in-port "babysitting") and she said "no." She doesn't even ask us what we did when we pick her up (a few things we can't tell her anyway.;) )

 

Again, as some people are saying, the problem with wild kids is the parents not supervising them. It's two different topics, really: parents' lack of supervision and whether the kids' program is adequate.

[LBB]

Example of "dumping":

 

 

It was almost 6 p.m. and I was lounging on an upper deck by the pool. A camp counselor was wandering the decks with a poor child whose parents forgot to pick them up. The parents were found, still laying in the sun, not even thinking about their kids.

 

I'm not a parents, but I know this is "dumping". I think if kids enjoy being at camp with the other kids, go for it.....but this was just irresponsible.

[momofmeg]

Funny how some things just don't change. I've been doing message boards for almost 10 years now, and the debate over how to parent is still just as ugly. Not in this thread obviously, but in so many places all over the web. I remember the stay at home moms battling the working moms and the breast feeding moms flaming the bottle feeding mom. Have an epidural or not? Career first or children first? Private school or public ORRRRR home school? (velvet dress in the caribbean or not etc;) )

And any way you choose, someone will beat you up for it. OK, folks, LOL.. I get it.. ya can't win with everyone on ANY board. Ah well.. to each their own as always:)

Happy Cruising to one and all.

 

You are so funny-the velvet dress in the carb. is still around-it is a hot topic on the fashion board every week-(LOL) It is funny how we feel so free to say all this stuff on these boards-that we would NEVER say to anyone in person.