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"JW and Jerome's Ecstatic ECSTASY Adventures"

cruiseguys2009

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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The Meet and Greet Continued…..

 

 

Alrighty, where was I.

 

Oh yes, the Newbee Boys. I found out that they made a bee line for me, and the little cutie one of the group, Dusty, spotted my lanyard and that is where his interest in me lay. Jerome and I both wear a Logo Lanyard from the airline that Jerome works for. (Remember I told you earlier that he works for the airline that begins with a U and just merged with C?) Well, Little Dusty works for the “D” airline. So, two things I have learned in life. First, we Gays have Gay-dar and can spot one of us a mile away, and, Two, it does not matter what airline you work for, if you are a Flight Attendant, then you are in a class by yourself. Once Dusty found out that it was Jerome, not I, that worked for the airlines, he was uninterested in me and anything I had to say from that moment on.

 

Chris initially introduced Dusty to me, and Dusty in turn introduced his Partner and his Partner introduced his brother traveling with them, who also had to inform me, very emphatically, as we shook hands that “He’s Straight!” “Really?” I thought, “Then why is my beeping in my head going off again?” Ahh yes, more fodder for my CC Kiddies.! There is a story there too! And this one will make you ROTFLOL until you Tinkle.

 

Dusty then runs over to Jerome and begins to Blah Blah Blah about working for the airlines and Jerome looks over Dusty’s shoulder at me with a “Help, Rescue Me” look in his eyes. So, Chris, Jeff and I rescue Jerome out from the clutches of Delta Dusty. Turns out, Jerome did not need to be rescued, he just wanted another cocktail.

 

Now Chris, on the other hand wanted Dusty away from Jerome. Dusty is very, very nice and Jerome liked him very much, just no shop talk for the vacation, please. Chris was frothing at the mouth over this little guy, hubba hubba. “Chris, calm down, he’s very married!” I said. Jeff said to me, “That doesn’t matter to him.” “Then Chris“, I said, “Stay away from Jerome!” Only fair, Chris shot back, “Calm your heels Dorothy, you are both way too old for me!” Then he continued, “Well maybe not for Jeff, he’ll take anything.” At that point I did not know if I should feel insulted or flattered. And by the way, I am happily married too. I don’t get into THAT kind of Trouble.

 

Our entire Meet and Greet was, as usual, centered around boys. Geez gosh! "Where Trouble Goes, Gays Follow" is more like my new motto. Just can’t get away from ‘da boys! Oh and there are plenty of Girls too. But it’s the Boys on this trip that really got into Trouble.

 

You’ll find out at dinner tonight.

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paully53

paully53

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Security

 

 

“Come on Jerome, Hurry Up!” I thought to myself, pacing from side to side, as I nervously waited for him to come from parking the car, and because as usual, I had to Tinkle! I cross my legs and do the dance. I need the men’s room fast! Ah! Here comes Jerome! “JW, I can tell from all the way across the street that you have to go!” I said “Jerome, it’s cruise day, and everyone knows that I don’t just have to“Go”, I Tinkle with excitement!” Not amused, Jerome just barked “Whatever, Trouble”.

 

There was a line outside the building to get into Security and Jerome moves to get into that line when I said that I had read that there was a “Special” line for Faster To The Fun, but he continued to argue with me that the FTTF line would be inside, after Security. HA HA HA….Wrong! I said, “Oh Jerome, would you mind reading that big red sign over there to me.” Then adding sarcastically, “Can you please tell me, exactly what does that sign say?” Pointing to the Big Sign that read “Carnival Welcomes Platinum, Diamond and Faster To The Fun VIP Line.” Which was located on the other side of the building. Hmmm.

 

Smug as a bug, I hear “Okay Smarty Pants, get movin‘!” Jerome said. Over to VIP we sauntered. Oh the dirty looks we got from the folks in line. Thought we were sneaking in! There were no passengers in the VIP line and after showing our documents to the Security person at the door, we proceeded directly to the Security Screening and breezed right thru. No beeps, no buzzes and we had two small coolers with water, but we went right through. And yes, it was just WATER. After collecting our belongings, we were told to head around the corner to the FTTF line, and it was a special line with a special check in desk. Cool. We arrived at the counter, and our S&S cards were waiting, the kind gentleman at the FTTF counter processed our Passports and we were on our way. Zip, Zoom, Bah. Up the escalator, through another passageway and then another Security Checkpoint, have our S&S cards slid into the machine…..“Ding“ I love that sound….almost there! We then walked out to the long, long, long traditional stretch of hallway to the glass boarding gangway. Keeping our eyes on The Ecstasy through the plate glass windows along the way. Boy, she was certainly a Bright White Vintage Old Grande Dame. I really have to Tinkle!

 

Here it is! Finally! The entrance to the glass domed boarding gangway. Here comes the walk up......up.....and up some more. Three flights and then, oh my gosh! We are here! Out comes my S&S card again, a big "Welcome Aboard" from one of the Ship's Officer’s and my card goes in the slot and “Ding!” It’s Official! We are officially on The Carnival Ecstasy and we enter right into the Atrium Lobby of Empress Deck.

 

All at once, I hear the music excitedly blaring thru the Atrium and “Oh! Wait a minute! I exclaimed. Then Jerome, startled, says in an annoyed sort of panic tone of voice “What JW?” Thinking I must have forgotten something. “Listen!“ I said. It was “Gangum Style” playing. “Whoop Whoop! Gangum Style!” I sang outloud. I stop suddenly, put my carry on bags down right there, unaware I was going to start a traffic jam, and started to dance, doing the Whoop Whoop Gangum Style. Boy was I lovin’ it. “Whoop! Whoop!” You could hear me say as I gyrated my big ’ol derriere from side to side. Then I hear Jerome say very loudly “JW, get out of the way, you are holding everyone up!” I stop, and look around. Oh how embarrassing! I completely had no idea that there were a bunch load of people behind me, all politely waiting till I stopped my gyrations! One gal was even videotaping me.....That will make some YouTube fodder for sure! Well, all were polite except for Jerome, of course. I quickly started to gather up my belongings (and I had not even had a Martini yet!) and the music was at that part of the song that the chorus is singing “Haaaaay Sexy Lady! Whoop Whoop!” and I turn to Jerome, mouthing the words to him and he says back “Not Funny Trouble!" "You are neither a Lady nor Sexy, now move yo’ bigazz!” Well I never! Everyone around us laughed.

 

I remember being on the sister ship to the Ecstasy, The Sensation, and we had the same exact cabin on her as we did on The Ecstasy. Cabin E61, Empress, Outside Window, just 15 steps from, what else, THE BAR! I knew how to get to the cabin and it’s location, but the doors to the hallway were closed as the rooms were not yet ready. Au Contraire, but we had FTTF and I went over to the door and mater of factly, Royalty like, swung it open, and I trollope through with Jerome in toe. Our cabin was just past the door, and was ready as promised. Jerome and I emptied our carry on bags and began to get settled. Jerome loves to be the one to unpack and get the cabin organized. I let him, as I am the one who packs. Perfectly, I might add. Why is it that we who hail from the land of fairy dust are so darn organized, neat and tidy?

 

But the one thing I thought we were going to like the most about FTTF, was to be able to unpack all our luggage before Muster Drill. Our luggage is supposed to either be in the room by the time we board, or arrive shortly thereafter. This way we can get settled without having to be concerned about doing it later, as that would encroach upon Sail A Way and our Martini time. That, unfortunately, was not going to be the case.

was an awesome cruise , glad to meet everyone i had a blast !!!!!
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SoundDawg

SoundDawg

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I gotta say....this is the FIRST non picture review that has ever captured my attention. Normally, I get bored after the first pictureless post, but this my friend has me captivated! Absolutely fabulous writing and I am looking forward to more!

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njmomof2

njmomof2

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I LOVE IT!!!

 

Seriously, a great piece of writing and I wish you were travelling on RC so that we could meet up. I don't do Carnival much as my boys like the flowrider and for us, the motto is "where flowriders go, boys follow."

 

Someone earlier on posted a phrase that is now my new catchphrase...FIMH (friends in my head). Seriously, I love you and Jerome and now think of you as my friends. I wish I lived closer to see your Christmas house (sorry I could not see the pictures here at work while I'm reading when I should be working...will try from home). I think your support of worthy charities each year is awesome (I have a rescue that joined our family in April 2012 and I love her like the daughter I never had). I'm so sorry that costs are preventing it from going forward another year, but maybe some of those wonderful businesses in your area will underwrite some of the costs to help out.

 

Can't wait for your next installment...I'm stting here laughing until I TINKLE!!!.

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Cruzface

Cruzface

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I hope not to offend when I say this..but I have been reading your entire review in the voice of Albert Goldman (played by Nathan Lane) from the birdcage. You sir, should be a writer. :D

 

 

HAHAHAHA I didn't realize I was doing that until I read your post!!! Awesome.

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MartinsCruise

MartinsCruise

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Man Your Life Boats!

 

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen.” The announcement came, “You are now Officially on Vacation!” The ship’s horn blasted and we were on our way! Too bad we could not go out on deck as planned, but oh well, no worries. We went back to the cabin to unpack the late arriving garment bag and watch sail-a-way from our window. After all I did have to make another Martini too. Glad I brought my olives and my martini shaker! And……..oops, maybe JW was a Bad Little Boy after all.

 

I was thrilled that the luggage made it to the room, for it was now time for cocktails. Come on, we’re gonna miss the Meet and Greet! While opening the garment bag and then uttering "Uh Oh, What is this?, with his hands on his hip and leaning forward, Jerome sternly says to me holding the evidence, “Trouble, what did you do?”

I knew this was coming and you didn't let me down. Looking forward to the rest of the story and sailing with you next November. :D

 

Sue

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Hockey Addict

Hockey Addict

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I gotta say....this is the FIRST non picture review that has ever captured my attention. Normally, I get bored after the first pictureless post, but this my friend has me captivated! Absolutely fabulous writing and I am looking forward to more!

 

SoundDawg I didn't even realize there were no pics until your post! I am the same way. I like to look at the pics but get bored reading.

Can't wait for more. Great job!

 

OK, I didn't even realize there were no pics either!!! You know it's good if you have my attention still and there's no pics!

 

Can't wait for more!!

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pcrum

pcrum

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1378064_10200146160651555_1514665986_n.jpg

 

We live in Orlando and I totally will do your house tour...such a great cause!! The photos are absolutely lovely!! Do we get to meet you two on the tour!!:)

 

I've read a lot of reviews on CC and written a few myself, but this, by far, is the best I have ever read. Thank you for such an entertaining and well written review. And, so timely too, as we are doing this same itinerary on the Ecstasy in Nov!!

 

Thanks again for a truly wonderful review!! Cheers!!

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Kfoot

Kfoot

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JW Celebrity review had lots of pics. I'm surprise this one doesn't ......so far. But you right, it's his style of writing and sense of humor that's so captivating that you don't even realize there's no pics.

Can't wait to see who will replace 'hat lady' in this review. Ok let's get to dinner so I can read what the 'story is' on those guys

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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I’m Starving!

 

 

Alrighty then. The Meet and Greet was winding down so Jerome and I bid our temporary farewells to everyone, wishing everyone a dynamite vacation and re-confirmed that we would be meeting Chris and Jeff for “Dinner At Eight”, and we would see them at the front entrance of the Wind Song Dining Room.

 

Jerome and I went back to the cabin, and I made myself another Martini, “Shake, Shake, Shake!“ I said, pouring my martini and adding olives to the glass I absconded with from the bar. I also began fixing Jerome a Manhattan. He was very happy that I included his drinking preference in my clandestine adventures. Still, Trouble got yelled at for doing so. The heck with it, Cheers!

 

Both Jerome and I are starving, having not had anything to eat because of the FTTF Luggage Debacle, and frankly we were having too much fun to think about eating, all afternoon. We actually forgot to eat. So, I said, “Let’s order Room Service!”. We were only about an hour and a half away from our dinner arrangements, and we just wanted something to tide us over. Jerome said “Great! “Where’s the menu?” Ladies and Gentlemen, I tore that room apart, and its not a very big room at that, looking for that dang Room Service Menu. The menu on The Dream was on the television, as Jerome was fiddling with the remote looking for it. “Nope”, Jerome said, “Not on here, but look JW, it’s clearing up on the weather radar,” “ lt look’s like great weather for the rest of the week!” “Jerome”, I said, “I cannot find the Room Service Menu.” “What?” he asked. “There has to be one!” “No, there’s not” I responded. “Did you check the drawers?” He asked, “Duh”, I thought, but actually said “Yes.” “The closet?” (again "Duh!"), “Yes”, I said. “Where can it be?” He inquired. Then I said, “Maybe someone took it as a souvenir from the last cruise?”

 

So, then I thought, okay, I should pick up the phone and call Room Service and see if they can get another menu sent up. While I was doing that, Jerome went to the door, opened it and peered out perhaps to see if our Room Steward, I Gusti, was in the hallway and maybe he could get us a replacement.

 

I picked up the phone, and there was a Room Service Speed Dial button, pushed it, then, without thinking, I began to walk towards Jerome, as he was out in the hallway. Then, whoops! Bang! Crash! “Yikes!“ I exclaimed, as I went flying backwards, right to the floor! I flew backwards because the cord of the phone pulled me back abruptly, and as it did, the phone came tumbling off the wall onto my head. “Ouch!” I exclaimed. Jerome came quickly back into the room and saw me on the floor with the phone all wrapped around me and said “JW, What did you do?” (Famous Last Words) I said mumbling on the floor, “I forgot it was an old fashioned corded phone.” “I am so used to my Smartphone and our cordless phone at home, that I just forgot and I assumed that the cabin phone didn’t have attachments!” Jerome muttered “What a Boob!” Oh my gosh, I was so embarrassed.

 

So, Jerome helped pick me up off the floor, got me untangled, and then he reattached the phone to the wall. He then picked up the receiver and yep, it worked. He said aloud, "For a minute I thought I was hearing your voice." I said "What do you mean?" Jerome said, "Talking to you sometimes JW, is like talking to the Dial Tone!" Well!

 

Jerome is so good at fixing things. Me, well, let’s just say that I am not allowed to hold a hammer in my hands, I am not allowed to plug anything in, and I certainly don’t know a thing about automobiles except that you put gas in it and it goes. So Jerome is the handy, dandy, fix-it kinda guy. I guess we match. I am Trouble and he is Mr. Fix-it.

 

I pick up the phone again, and Jerome says “Trouble, remember it has a cord!” I said, “Oh shut up!” I had already dialed Room Service and my “Oh shut up” was heard by the person on the other end of the line at the same time, and now I had to back track. “Eskuze Me?” the operator said. “Oh no,” I said, “Not You”. “Just the other boob in the room.” “Room Service, can I help you?” The lovely voice said. “Oh my gosh, the phone works!” I exclaimed, happy that I did not break it after all. “Eskuze Me” the operator said again. I said excitedly, “Oh, sorry, just got away from myself.” “Do you like order Room Service?” she said. I then said “Yes Please!” She asked, “What you like?” Then I said “What You Got?” “She responded, unamused, “What you like?” I said again “What you Got?” Jerome just sat there looking at me with this stupid look on his face. “Sir,” she was getting a bit perturbed with me now, “You wish order some-ting from Menu?” “Menu!” I exclaimed. “Yes I wish to order some-ting!" (repeating every word like she said to me, I know it was wrong but I was in Martini-ville) "But where is the MENU?” “Sir,” she explained, “Menu is in daily program in room” “Where?” I asked. She replied “In Daily Program in room.” As she said this I was fumbling thru the Funtimes packet and Oh My Gosh! “Look Jerome,” I announced emphatically, “Here is the Room Service Menu!” Jerome grabbed it out of my hand. “You order now?” the operator asked. Then I said “I’ll call you back in one minute!” and continued with “Thank you!” and ended the call by saying “I Love You!”

 

“JW, you just told the person on the phone, which I really hope was a woman, that you loved them!” Jerome said, “They are going to think you are a Wackadoodle.” “Oh so what!” I replied, “I’m hungry, what’s on the menu?” I can assure you that the lady on the other end of the phone probably hung up with me and announced to her co-crew members "That the guy in Cabin E61 is definitely a Wackadoodle!"

 

I called back about two minutes later, got a different operator this time, and I am sure when they saw me calling back again, and their caller ID stated it was Cabin E61, the original operator handed me off to someone else saying “You talk to him, I am not going to, He Wackadoodle!” I ordered a Tenderloin Sandwich for Jerome and a Turkey Sandwich for myself. I was told that it would be 45 minutes. I thought to myself that would be cutting it close to dinner time, but decided on placing the order anyway. In less than 10 minutes, a knock on the door came and the food was there. Wow! The young man was hesitant at first to enter the room, (Probably heard that I was a Wackadoodle, I’m sure) but he came in anyway, placed the tray on our table and I graciously tipped him $3.00. When Room Service is delivered, they also present a charge slip to be signed, and even though the bill is Zero, it has a tip line. That, I found, came in handy later in the week when I ran out of singles to tip, and I could just add a couple of dollars each time to my S & S account.

 

And by the way. That Tenderloin Sandwich is amazing, and so is The BLT. The Turkey Sandwich was, well, a turkey sandwich. It was good. Love, Love, Love Room Service and ordered it every day! Don’t pass it up. I highly recommend it!

Edited by cruiseguys2009
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WLHyatt

WLHyatt

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You guys are a hoot, I really like these quirky turn-by-turn reviews much more than the ones that just say "food was good, excursions were good, trip was good". This type of review makes the other reviews seem boring (and I bet some of their cruises were that boring, indeed).

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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I am LOVING this review!!!!

 

The last one I read from you was about the Bahamas Celebration. You are one of the few other people who like that little ship, as do I :)

 

Yes, I remember you! Glad you hear from you again! The BC's review was a gazzillion hours and four reviews ago!

 

You can see my other stories, by using the CC Search Bar, add "JW and Jerome", and they all should come up.

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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The Legend of the Traveling Pants

 

After our lovely Room Service snackiepoo, which became a nightly ritual for us as I loved the Tenderloin Sandwich, (oh it’s so good just wait till you try it!), Jerome and I got our outfits together for Dinner at Eight and sprawled them out on the bed in an organized fashion. We each took turns in the boudoir, showering, shaving and etc. I, as usual, went first, and consequently, I dressed first.

 

Now a side note as to what I was wearing. We have a store here in our community called Beall’s. It’s pronounced Bell’s but everyone wants to say Beeeall’s. Anyway, twice a year, I order a new pair of pants from them specifically to take on a cruise. Let’s say it’s a man’s version of "The Little Black Dress”. Now, I know my exact size and I know the brand. The pants have always fit perfectly, are a poly blend so no wrinkles. They fold and travel very well and are just the right thing to take cruising as they have an elastic expandable waist band, that make them very comfortable, especially after all thirteen meals a day I consume! I usually order them online about 6 weeks out for a sailing, My size is 36 waist by 32 long and has not changed in a decade.

 

So back in late July, I place my usual order, and the pants arrive in a timely fashion. I removed the labels not paying very much attention to them, and having ordered these same pants many times before, I trusted the store to provide me with the correct size. My bad. Here is what happened.

 

I was so excited, as I love the first night’s dinner on a cruise and the opportunity to parade around in new cruise wear! So here I had brand new, bold and bright, Perry Ellis multicolored striped socks, a bright matching shirt, (actually which had so many colors that it looked like Walt Disney himself threw up all over me!) and of course, my new black pants with brand new Kenneth Cole shoes. Jerome was in the shower by the time I finished dressing. I looked down at my feet, and from (Key words here) My Perspective, my shoes looked great and I could see my bright striped socks. But without a full length mirror, or Jerome to tell me otherwise, I thought I was “Working It Baby!” Thought? Oh Hails No! I Knew I was Working It!

 

Like a butterfly ready to come out of it's cocoon, I was getting antsy, and wanted to go and parade around the bar in the Atrium with my Martini, hob knob and show off my bright colors. I yelled to Jerome in the shower that I would meet him at the bar and he said, “Okay, see you out there in a few!” I grabbed by S&S card and out the door I went, strolling like a Peacock in my Disney Drag into The Atrium. Oh, I got the reaction I wanted, yes sir. Everyone turned and looked, some even pointed. “Oooh” I was thinking, “They all like my Debonair, Suave-ish-ness, Disneyfied, Personified, Gorgeousness!” Not exactly. Boy that bubble burst fast! I kept wondering why everyone was looking at my shoes. They were nice, yes, but just normal Kenneth Cole Flat Fronts, and I knew that no one would see my striped socks until I sat down. So what were they all staring and pointing at?

 

I looked down, and at first, again, from my perspective, could not see it. Then it dawned on me. How is it that I can see my bright, boldly striped socks? Hmmm. Oh My Gawd! I took a deep breath and screamed right there in The Atrium and the sound was heard all the way to the roof and down thru every passage way! Even Jennifer over at Guest Services looked over her counter thinking that something happened to me, and even her eyes went straight down to my feet. Oh My Gawd!

 

Then I heard “Expecting a flood?”, from someone at the bar. I looked over at Jennifer and she had a raised eyebrow and inquisitive look. Several passengers in line at Guest Services were chuckling. Oh My Gawd! The Traveling Pants fit at the waist, but were short. Not just short, but SHORT! I was mortifiedI How could I have not checked this out? I could not believe that I placed all my trust in Beall’s to send me the correct pair, like they did so many times before, that I did not need to check the size. Horrified and quite embarrassed, I sprinted back to the cabin and opened the door to Jerome standing right there. He took one look at me standing in the doorway, then hit me with a hurricane barrage of pot shots “JW, what did you do?”….“Look at those pants!”…“What did you do to those pants?”… “They are so short!”… “Are those your new pants?…”You actually walked outside to the bar in that get-up?”..."JW you look so silly!"..."JW did anyone see you in that get up?"..."JW what a boob!"

 

“I have never been more embarrassed in my whole life”, I said to Jerome as I slumped down on the bed. “Oh yes you have”, he shot back, “Many times.” “This is right up there with the best of them, though.”

 

Needless to say, I love these pants. Not these Shorty‘s, but the ones that are in the proper size. I can wear them for three or four nights on a cruise with a different shirt and not have to pack several different pairs of pants. But now, I had no other black pants. Crapola. Crapola. I am a boob. Crapola. So, Trouble wore Jeans that night with the Disney Drag shirt.

 

Jerome said, after I had changed my pants again, “JW, we still have some time, let’s go up to the Casino and cash in our Casino Players Club Coupons in before we meet the guys for dinner.” “You'll be able to introduce yourself to the Casino Host and we even have some time to play the slots a bit before dinner.” He continued….”That should make you feel better.”

 

Far be it for me NOT to want to go to the Casino. If you have read my other reviews, you know that the Casino is my second home. Dang those pants!

Edited by cruiseguys2009
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