Why does the Teen Club make me nervous?

[Melanie H]

Hello to all you parents out there. I'm a teen cruiser that cruises with my aunt and my cousin. I totally can understand where you are coming from with us girls walking back to our cabins alone, It is scary and you don't know what other people are out at that same time. She's going to meet alot of friends and i will tell you they will walk her down to her cabin, or atleast offer. But if your scared meet her half way n the middle of the ship thats always a good idea. But to you parents with the curfew that last night is one of the best nights for any teen cruiser, and we love to stay out a little later so kep that in mind because it is hard to be in at 12:30 on the last night because it's the last time you will see some of these people again and you really just want to spend an extra couple of hours with them just keep that in mind because i know on my last cruise a group of us pulled an all nighter the last night it was amazing there ended up being 15 of us and it made our cruise that much better. Alot of parents so extend the curfew on the last night just so you do know. ENJOY YOUR CRUISE

[Merion_Mom]

Thanks everyone for their replies!!!! A curfew will be set and she knows and understands this. My BIGGEST FEAR was her walking back and someone lurking in the hall or wherever and not making it back to the room and then we would have to go looking for her. Again, as I always have stated, they all need to stay in groups and never, ever go into someone's room. Thanks everyone.....Leaving on Sunday......Thanks!!!!!

If you become comfortable with the ship and its routine after a day or two, and so does your daughter, perhaps you could compromise. When she is ready to leave the club (at YOUR appointed time), she calls you. (there are phones in lots of places around the ship; I'm sure that the teen club has one). You then give her five minutes to get to the cabin. IF she's not back by then, you send out the cavalry. (i.e., get dressed and go looking for her between cabin and club). Chances are, she'll scoot "home" so fast, glad for the trust, that she'll be there almost before you hang up the phone!

 

Have a great cruise.

 

Carol

[KINGBOBOFTHENORTH]

sweetangel asked:

What about the kids under 15? My son will be 14 when we sail. I don't have to sign him in and out, do I?

 

I don't recall. The RCI Vacation Planner makes a specific reference for Guests 15-17 that they can come and go at their leisure. None of the other age groups state that which leads me to believe the parent must check them in and out.....but I'm not really sure about that. The website doesn't discuss that point either.

 

BobK/Orlando

[ladiebug05]

RCCL will let a 14 year old check themselves in and out. I think kids as young as the 9-11 year olds can check themselves in and out at the parents request. I think kids 8 and under have to be signed out by the parent.

[esteam]

here's a suggestion, if she does intend to return to her room without being escorted have her walk the same route. this way if you get up and want to walk to meet her you will not pass her and wander around not finding her becomming more worried.

[Gingee]

My daughter was l5, l6 and l7 on our cruises and we always told her to come back around midnight. If she was going to be late, call us on the walkie talkie. She tried to stay out later but we axed it.

[kybill]

Your instincts are right on target. There has been more than once incident of a female being grabbed on a cruise ship and assaulted. Don't let her walk back to the room by herself. Have fun, be safe.

Bill

[stillababe]

Those long empty hallways can be scary. This is exactly the reason why I always booked a room near the elevator when my sons were younger. I wanted them to be able to get to the room quickly, without having to pass a number of other doorways. They are now 18 and 15 (and the 15 year old is bigger than the 18 year old), and I'm not as worried now about them walking down the halls as I was when they were younger. The rest of my party that I travelled with always thought I was nuts when I told them that I want a room near the elevator, until I explained my reasoning. You just can't assume that nothing will happen, and always need to teach your children to be aware of their surroundings. If something doesn't feel right, they should go back to an area that is more populated and call you on one of the courtesy phones to come and get them. I just love those phones, not to mention the voicemail feature.

[huskerdude]

Hello to all you parents out there. I'm a teen cruiser that cruises with my aunt and my cousin. I totally can understand where you are coming from with us girls walking back to our cabins alone, It is scary and you don't know what other people are out at that same time. She's going to meet alot of friends and i will tell you they will walk her down to her cabin, or atleast offer. But if your scared meet her half way n the middle of the ship thats always a good idea. But to you parents with the curfew that last night is one of the best nights for any teen cruiser, and we love to stay out a little later so kep that in mind because it is hard to be in at 12:30 on the last night because it's the last time you will see some of these people again and you really just want to spend an extra couple of hours with them just keep that in mind because i know on my last cruise a group of us pulled an all nighter the last night it was amazing there ended up being 15 of us and it made our cruise that much better. Alot of parents so extend the curfew on the last night just so you do know. ENJOY YOUR CRUISE

 

Melanie,

Good post. The only thing is you did not post your age. That can make a big difference. We really don't have a problem with our daughter, she's 17, most of the time. I feel she is safer on the cruise than she is at school. There is a lot more that can and does happen there.

Let them enjoy themselves. They are only kids once. They need to "cut loose" to.:)

[justaknucklehead]

A cruise ship is really not the place to "let them cut loose". You guys may feel safe, but you're not. It is a ship full of strangers, yes, even the teenage strangers. Why would that make you feel secure? If you go to bed while your kids are out and about, you're nuts.

[herecomesthesun]

I went on a cruise when I was 16 and I was scared to walk down the corridors at night by myself! The hallways are kind of scary and I can totally see someone snatching a girl who is not as strong as them. Not that this is at all likely to happen but its possible.

 

I would give your daughter a reasonable curfew (nothing before midnight) and have her stick to it. I would make sure you knew where she was going to be, as teens tend to wander in groups and do not spend all their time at the teen club whatsoever. Walkie-talkies might be a good idea. Then, have her have a friend walk her back to her room if she is returning past a certain time. In fact, its a good idea to have her stay with a friend as much as possible all day. Of course, make sure whatever friend is with her is allowed to then walk back to their room alone. A responsible boy a year or two older would be a good candidate, and I'm sure they would be more than willing to walk a girl to her room!

 

There really is absolutely no reason to worry. But if you are going to, then there are some very good solutions to your problems that should set you at ease, and shouldn't be too terrible for your daughter. I should know - this advice is coming from a 17 year old girl who likes to go out. :)

[justaknucklehead]

How can you say there is absolutely no reason to worry? You can't and there are plenty of reasons to worry, about 4,000 of them, including staff. You should worry and be aware of that fact.

[huskerdude]

I obviously did not state every thing in the last post. No, we do not let her have the run of the ship or us. Curfew is either 12:00am or 1-1:30 am. Depends on when we are in port the next day.

She is almost an adult, aged 17 years. We trust her to make the right decsions. If a hallway scares her what is LIFE going to do to her? There are alot of dark scary things that happen out there. Do we worry? Sure we are parents.

Being an only child she did not know anyone on our first cruise. She spent way over 1/2 the time in our room. She is really a shy person.

On our last cruise, when she was 17, we let one of her friends come along. Did she get in trouble? No. Did anything bad happen to her or her friend? No.

But this is just MO based on us raising our daughter. Definetly younger kids should be "watched" closer. But again this is just MHO.:)

[kenandlaura06]

1:30 a.m. seems late for a 17 year old, IMHO.

[huskerdude]

1:30 a.m. seems late for a 17 year old, IMHO.

 

And that's why it's YHO.

If you don't feel comfortable having any aged child out past a certain time, make them stick to it. We do.

[Melanie H]

Sorry Huskerdude, i'm now 18 and have been cruising since i was 11. I do agree with your post as well, in my opinion a cruise ship is safer at night then back home. I would never even picture myself walking alone at 2:30 in the morning back to my room, But on a cruise it just feels safer. You do have security walking around all night. also were only going to be teens once let us have fun while were still teens. Some of you will just never understand what it is like to be a teen and make 30 new friends in less then a week, but yet you feel like you have grown up with these teens your whole life, and that you have shared some of the best memories you have with them. The feeling is so amazing it's something that you cant express in words, well atleast i cant when i come home and tell my friends and family who i met(they just think i am super crazy). Let your teen enjoy the cruise, and the new friends they made it only will last a week or 2

[mikeb23]

hey im 16 and sailed the mariner last year. i luckily have alot of trust with my parents as i went to australia in 6th grade on a trip but still the fact i was alone worrying about money and other problems was a big responsibility. now on my ship the people in the teen clubs left early and thats when all the dumb stuff happened however my parents met the kids i was hanging with and they agreed that i set my own curfew. i am not 18 and will not be getting alcohol anytime soon. but i can say alot of the girls did go in earlier and i think thats how it should be there really isnt much to do at night everything is shut down so we are always in one area if there was ever a problem. but i would stick with a 1 30 curfew until u think she can gain ur trust or maybe just for the last night.. but she will be fine no worries she is hopefully smart enough to know right or wrong

[huskerdude]

Sorry Huskerdude, i'm now 18 and have been cruising since i was 11. I do agree with your post as well, in my opinion a cruise ship is safer at night then back home. I would never even picture myself walking alone at 2:30 in the morning back to my room, But on a cruise it just feels safer. You do have security walking around all night. also were only going to be teens once let us have fun while were still teens. Some of you will just never understand what it is like to be a teen and make 30 new friends in less then a week, but yet you feel like you have grown up with these teens your whole life, and that you have shared some of the best memories you have with them. The feeling is so amazing it's something that you cant express in words, well atleast i cant when i come home and tell my friends and family who i met(they just think i am super crazy). Let your teen enjoy the cruise, and the new friends they made it only will last a week or 2

 

Melanie,

Thanks. But you made a criticle mistake, I bet almost everyone who reads these boards, and even you parents, knows what it's like to be a teenager. And that's why we worry so much.

We all were teenagers once, or twice.:p

[beachguy]

Sorry Huskerdude, i'm now 18 and have been cruising since i was 11. I do agree with your post as well, in my opinion a cruise ship is safer at night then back home. I would never even picture myself walking alone at 2:30 in the morning back to my room, But on a cruise it just feels safer. You do have security walking around all night. also were only going to be teens once let us have fun while were still teens. Some of you will just never understand what it is like to be a teen and make 30 new friends in less then a week, but yet you feel like you have grown up with these teens your whole life, and that you have shared some of the best memories you have with them. The feeling is so amazing it's something that you cant express in words, well atleast i cant when i come home and tell my friends and family who i met(they just think i am super crazy). Let your teen enjoy the cruise, and the new friends they made it only will last a week or 2

 

(Beachchick here)

 

Believe it or not, all of us oldies had to go through our teen years too. (I wasn't born a young middle-age mom with a grown daughter; it just feels that way sometimes. And I'm not so old that I don't remember what it's like to be a teen.)

 

While your argument is reasonable coming from a teen, we are coming at it from the perspective of adults who've also been teens. We do know what it feels like to meet new people and bond with them. We do remember feeling grown up and mature even while we thought our parents were treating us like "kids." We did chafe at restrictions and occassionally push the limits.

 

So, before you make that kind of statement, please remember that most of us do understand your experiences. The problem is that we've seen more and lived through more. And as parents we aren't just responsible for ourselves, we are responsible in every way for our not-yet-adult kids. (Even though our DD is a grown up and very responsible, her dad and I appreciate that she knows we worry a bit from time to time. It's the nature of being a parent and, again, results from our having lived through many phases of life.)

 

I understand that you see life through the eyes of a teen; you're supposed to. Leave the real worrying to your parents; they're supposed to. Just remember that adults sometimes do know more than teens--check back with me on this in about 10 years and see if I'm not at least partly correct.

 

On a cruise ship, teens should be given some extra leeway and freedom, within the limits that are comfortable for their parents. This is a time when you are learning to be independent and how to make choices and gage situations, but that doesn't mean you have the experience to always make the right ones. Do I think this makes teens bad? Of course not; it makes them teens. I would hate to see you put your trust in someone you just met and have that trust destroyed, while in the process causing you harm. That's why I don't think it is the least bit unreasonable for parents to set curfews (although a bit later than at home and with some flexibility) and escort their teens late at night from group activities back to their cabin.

 

Hope everyone has a fabulous, and safe, cruise.

 

beachchick

[huskerdude]

(Beachchick here)

 

Believe it or not, all of us oldies had to go through our teen years too. (I wasn't born a young middle-age mom with a grown daughter; it just feels that way sometimes. And I'm not so old that I don't remember what it's like to be a teen.)

 

While your argument is reasonable coming from a teen, we are coming at it from the perspective of adults who've also been teens. We do know what it feels like to meet new people and bond with them. We do remember feeling grown up and mature even while we thought our parents were treating us like "kids." We did chafe at restrictions and occassionally push the limits.

 

So, before you make that kind of statement, please remember that most of us do understand your experiences. The problem is that we've seen more and lived through more. And as parents we aren't just responsible for ourselves, we are responsible in every way for our not-yet-adult kids. (Even though our DD is a grown up and very responsible, her dad and I appreciate that she knows we worry a bit from time to time. It's the nature of being a parent and, again, results from our having lived through many phases of life.)

 

I understand that you see life through the eyes of a teen; you're supposed to. Leave the real worrying to your parents; they're supposed to. Just remember that adults sometimes do know more than teens--check back with me on this in about 10 years and see if I'm not at least partly correct.

 

On a cruise ship, teens should be given some extra leeway and freedom, within the limits that are comfortable for their parents. This is a time when you are learning to be independent and how to make choices and gage situations, but that doesn't mean you have the experience to always make the right ones. Do I think this makes teens bad? Of course not; it makes them teens. I would hate to see you put your trust in someone you just met and have that trust destroyed, while in the process causing you harm. That's why I don't think it is the least bit unreasonable for parents to set curfews (although a bit later than at home and with some flexibility) and escort their teens late at night from group activities back to their cabin.

 

Hope everyone has a fabulous, and safe, cruise.

 

beachchick

 

Beachchich,

[wickedawesomemom]

On our recent cruise, my almost 16 yr old son was not back at his 12:45 am curfew. About 99% of the time he is very good about curfew. He despises alcohol, drugs, and smoking so I don't worry too much about those things. I dozed off and woke up at 1:15 am in complete panic when he was not in the cabin. I sprinted to the teen center and found that it was closed. More panic. Searched all the places that I thought he could possibly be. I went to the purser's desk and let them know and continued on with my search. The ship was pretty deserted but I asked everyone I saw if they had seen him. No one had. My mind was all over the place thinking he could have been drugged or beaten up, stuffed in a lifeboat, thrown overboard, etc. As a mom, I was terrified but I kept trying to tell myself that he couldn't go far. But the longer I searched the more anxious I became. After searching every deck (some of them several times) and continually checking the cabin I headed back to the purser's deck where I ran into him and a friend when I got off the elevator. Relief!!! and Anger for what I had just been through. They had just been wandering around talking.

 

His response to why he was late: "I'm not late." Well, this COULD have been accurate. THIS night was the night when we had to set the clocks back one hour. Officially they set clocks back at 2AM, but he thought they set them back at midnight, so by HIS clock he wasn't late. By mine he was. Well, he was banned from doing teen activities for a few days. Not because he was late (his reasoning made complete sense) but because he was not in the teen center when he was supposed to be. We had an agreement when the cruise began that he was not to go into anyone's cabin and he was to always let me know where he would be. I could overlook the "being late", even though it scared me to death, but I would not overlook that he wasn't where he told me he would be. I did let him go back to the teen center on the last day and night and he always checked in early.

 

As a mother, I try to give him SOME freedom so he can learn responsibility and consequences of both good and bad choices. This is not easy as he is my only child. Of course I always want him to be safe and not ever have anything bad happen to him. But I also know that I can't protect him all the time and that I have to gradually let him go. He needs to learn to make his own choices and live with the consequences. It won't be long before he goes off to college and he will have the freedom to do what he wants, when he wants. I hope that I have taught him how to make good choices and how to handle himself. (teaching is ongoing) My job as a parent is to prepare him for what is out there in the world and how to handle himself. He won't learn if I try to protect him from everything. This is probably the most difficult part of parenting for me and something that I will probably always struggle with.

 

If you become comfortable with the ship and its routine after a day or two, and so does your daughter, perhaps you could compromise. When she is ready to leave the club (at YOUR appointed time), she calls you. (there are phones in lots of places around the ship; I'm sure that the teen club has one). You then give her five minutes to get to the cabin. IF she's not back by then, you send out the cavalry. (i.e., get dressed and go looking for her between cabin and club). Chances are, she'll scoot "home" so fast, glad for the trust, that she'll be there almost before you hang up the phone!

 

Have a great cruise.

 

Carol

 

This is a great idea. I wish I would have thought of that before my cruise. I will probably use this tip on my next cruise.

[steve20832]

If you are scared about your teenager walking around the ship at night, you could meet her at the entrance outside the teen club at 12:30am (or whatever time you set) and walk her back to the room. Be firm about the time and give her a watch if she needs it. Tell her to be on time or you will go in the club after her. Teens like freedom, leave her alone while she is having fun in the club(hopefully not too much fun). Tell her before she goes into the club that if she is not at the club entrance at the time you set, then she will be in trouble when you guys get home. Be firm but let her enjoy herself as well, after all you are both on vacation...

[kenandlaura06]

If you are scared about your teenager walking around the ship at night, you could meet her at the entrance outside the teen club at 12:30am (or whatever time you set) and walk her back to the room. Be firm about the time and give her a watch if she needs it. Tell her to be on time or you will go in the club after her. Teens like freedom, leave her alone while she is having fun in the club(hopefully not too much fun). Tell her before she goes into the club that if she is not at the club entrance at the time you set, then she will be in trouble when you guys get home. Be firm but let her enjoy herself as well, after all you are both on vacation...

 

 

I think that sounds great!

[VacationNut]

I feel as if I have been naive for the past 4 cruises, I didn't think about anyone "grabbing" my daughter on the way back to the cabin. Isn't this less likely than someone grabbing her off the street when she is walking along? We can't protect them from everything and we have to work out what is a reasonable worry and what is really just being over-cautious. I know that it is really my peace of mind that I am considering when I become over-cautious and then is that fair to our children, who have to develop their own independence and their own sense of caution.

 

She is now 17 and after 4 years of walking back on cruise ships at 12:30 ish with no problems, I think I will have to let this "new" worry go. After all, in one year she will be at college in a big city and there will be far more dangers there.

[justaknucklehead]

I'm sure Natalee's mother felt the same way you do, vacationnut.