Clothing for kids in MDR

[mickev99]

I know I'm opening a can of worms here, but I really do want honest (not rude) answers from experienced cruisers.

 

What is the rule for clothing for kids in the MDR? I have 3 girls who love to wear anything fancy (and I work from home, so I welcome any opportunity to dress up), so I'm not concerned about us. However, my 12 year old nephew only wears shorts, and I'm not even sure that he'll wear nice, khaki shorts....last I heard he likes basketball shorts (not sure about the shirt, didn't ask that, hopefully he'll wear a regular shirt, guess I should check on that). Is it allowed at all? My parents are going, and my dad has a hard time getting around, so the MDR is a better option for him than the buffet. Plus I would rather eat dinner in the MDR the majority of the time and maybe Windjammer and Johnny Rockets one night each. We would like to have dinner together a few times, but not sure if it's an option. Not talking about formal night, just the other nights.

 

Thanks!

[mailmama]

I have 2 sons who started cruising when they were about 10 and 14. I used this as an opportunity to teach them manner/etiquette. No they weren't thrilled to put on khaki pants or dress pants/suit. They did however out of respect to us as parents and to the general rules of cruising. I would consider explaining to your nephew what is to be expected of his dress and behavior on this vacation. I always found it best to state your expectations and let them live up to it. Shorts are a no-no on men as well as women in the dining room at night. They can change into their shorts after dinner. Good luck! I think key to any situation like this is to "be the parent" yourself and positively encourage the right action while they are young...they will grow up to be decent respectful gentlemen who make a mamma proud!!

[DrD]

No shorts. Tell him to man up and put on pants. I'm sure he wouldn't make your dad go to buffet just to avoid wearing pants for a couple of hours.

Edited March 24, 2014 by DrD

[galavant3]

Everyone parents differently and each parent decides which battles are important. That said, I told my boys (they were about that age when they started cruising) that they had to wear pants in the dining room. Or, they could stay home with Grandma and Grandpa. They wore pants and have on every cruise since.

[3disboysmom]

We travel with 3 sons 17,14 and 12. Our rule is khaki pants and golf shirts for dinner then they can change back immediately afterwards. We do allow them to wear sandals/sneakers with them rather than dressier shoes. And they are allowed to leave table when they are finished (don't have to wait for adults) and go bak to room to change before their evening activities. If he likes athletic gear he may prefer the newer the material polo style shirts as a compromise.

 

 

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[spookwife]

shorts are inappropriate at any age for dinner in the MDR. ESPECIALLY workout gear/basketball shorts.

 

it's not your nephew's call.

[mickev99]

Okay, people, did you not read that it is my nephew and I am NOT his parent? Maybe I didn't make clear that his parents WILL be on the cruise with him, I am not his guardian or anything. If that was the situation, I wouldn't have even come here to ask the question, because I agree with every single person on here. Wear what is appropriate, bottom line. I'm the parent to my kids (along with my husband), and we make the rules whether they like it or not (didn't I say I would never sound like my mom..."because I said so!", LOL).

 

However, that's not my call, he's not my child and I'm not in charge of him.

 

I was just wondering if it was allowed, so then I can go back to his parents and explain the rules and let them make the decision on whether they want to enforce the rules with him and eat with us. He does have Asperger's, so it's a little different situation. However, you would never know it to look at him or talk to him.

 

So are khaki shorts okay? They have said before that he won't wear pants.

Edited March 24, 2014 by mickev99

[jbrezen]

They will let him in with khaki shorts. I have a nephew with Asperger's and he also had issues wearing certain types of clothing. My in-laws took the whole family on FOS and the only thing they asked is we have dinner together as a family. We found him khaki shorts, but they had an elastic waist, I think from Land's End, and a few soft polo shirts. He did fine with those. On formal nights, no way could he wear a collar shirt or tie, so we took him to the Windjammer and brought him to AO, he was very happy. We had him meet up with his cousins and grandparents at Ben and Jerry's for desert. It was a compromise that worked for all of us and did not stress him or his single mom. Maybe some people didn't like that he was in short pants, but they don't walk in his mom's shoes either. My father-in-law is now very sick, and I'm glad we had those family dinners together, shorts and all.

[kitt82078]

RCL is one og the most understanding about aspergers. That being said, NO ONE is going to question him in khaki shorts. Aspergers or not. He might get some funny looks from other diners, and it is POSSIBLE that his parents would be politely asked on the side if he can change, but once you even HINT that he has an issue, if you even have to, there will be no problem.

 

This is why RCL is part of the autism at seas program. You should reach out to them if he has any other special needs.

[fitzy123]

I'm sure you really came to this board because you wanted people to give you parenting advice!

[jbrezen]

RCL is one og the most understanding about aspergers. That being said, NO ONE is going to question him in khaki shorts. Aspergers or not. He might get some funny looks from other diners, and it is POSSIBLE that his parents would be politely asked on the side if he can change, but once you even HINT that he has an issue, if you even have to, there will be no problem.

 

This is why RCL is part of the autism at seas program. You should reach out to them if he has any other special needs.

 

Also, my nephew for the most part was able to sit through dinner, but at the beginning of the cruise my sister-in-law mentioned to the head waiter that he may get antsy. They were able to get all the kids fed faster and out to AO if needed. They recognized that he likes having cut up veges and ranch dressing and they always had a plate ready for him. They were so understanding.

[Iaminspired]

Okay, people, did you not read that it is my nephew and I am NOT his parent? Maybe I didn't make clear that his parents WILL be on the cruise with him, I am not his guardian or anything. If that was the situation, I wouldn't have even come here to ask the question, because I agree with every single person on here. Wear what is appropriate, bottom line. I'm the parent to my kids (along with my husband), and we make the rules whether they like it or not (didn't I say I would never sound like my mom..."because I said so!", LOL).

 

However, that's not my call, he's not my child and I'm not in charge of him.

 

I was just wondering if it was allowed, so then I can go back to his parents and explain the rules and let them make the decision on whether they want to enforce the rules with him and eat with us. He does have Asperger's, so it's a little different situation. However, you would never know it to look at him or talk to him.

 

So are khaki shorts okay? They have said before that he won't wear pants.

 

My daughter (17) has Aspergers and the Main Dining Room is a big challenge for her.

 

Ask the Head Waiter about Expediated Dining, which is a service to get Autistic kids their meals faster.

 

My understanding is that under the Autism at Seas program, the dress code in the Main Dining Room is waived for children with Autism.

 

I always contact RCCL Special Needs in advance. There are many ways they can help.

 

Feel free to ask if you have any questions about sailing with a child with Aspergers.

Edited March 24, 2014 by Iaminspired
Posted incomplete

[galavant3]

I'm sure you really came to this board because you wanted people to give you parenting advice!

 

I guess I'm guilty of that but it wasn't my intention. Many of us have dealt with this issue and I do think it helps to share one's experiences.

 

However, given that he has Asperger's, I agree that what he wears in the dining room should not be an issue. He will have enough to deal with as it is.

 

To the OP, best wishes for a wonderful family cruise!

[Crzy4my2]

I was really worried about this because I was having trouble finding my 12 year old son anything that fits. He is now in men's sizes and I couldn't find dress pants that fit OK..My husband took him out last weekend and found him a few pairs of dress pants and some shirts/ties and Polo shirts so we are good for the nights we go to the MDR..but, I just had a friend take the same cruise in Feb. and she said about 90% of the boys in the MDR(not formal nights) wore dress shorts and polos.. (Her son wore pants and a suit coat..he was in the 10%)

[summersigh]

No shorts. Tell him to man up and put on pants. I'm sure he wouldn't make your dad go to buffet just to avoid wearing pants for a couple of hours.

 

Not every situation leads to a 12 year old being able to be the center of the universe. Out of respect for family and the fact that he's the kid and that the family WILL be dining together he needs to throw on a pair of slacks (or jeans for a non-formal night) for dinner.

 

If he choses not to do this he should be staying in the cabin with room service while the others eat in the DR and not being given full run of the ship while the rest of the family dines.

 

What do his parents have to say about his refusal in this circumstance?

 

(And before I get flamed for suggesting taking away the "poor kid's vacation pleasure - I taught 12 and 13 year olds for 30+ years. In my experience the ones who rule the household often have BIG problems later on when the world doesn't conform to their will) Just MHO and nothing more.

[kurukthemal]

This is more of a parenting question than an "is it allowed" question. Will he get stares or be banned from the MDR in shorts....absolutely not. Is not wearing shorts the right thing to do and does this situation present teaching opportunities...absolutely yes.

[Darkkskyzz]

We ate in the MDR every night last cruise, and never once did I see a pair of shorts. What I did see though, and thought was a nice "happy medium", were teen boys in pants that have the zip off bottoms. After dinner, they unzipped the legs, and were "back" in shorts.

I know OP mentioned athletic shorts, but maybe this is worth a thought?

[matj2000]

Shorts are fine.

Our kid has worn shorts several times in the MDR.

It is not a problem, except on Cruise Critic...

[gerif]

Not every situation leads to a 12 year old being able to be the center of the universe. Out of respect for family and the fact that he's the kid and that the family WILL be dining together he needs to throw on a pair of slacks (or jeans for a non-formal night) for dinner.

 

If he choses not to do this he should be staying in the cabin with room service while the others eat in the DR and not being given full run of the ship while the rest of the family dines.

 

What do his parents have to say about his refusal in this circumstance?

 

(And before I get flamed for suggesting taking away the "poor kid's vacation pleasure - I taught 12 and 13 year olds for 30+ years. In my experience the ones who rule the household often have BIG problems later on when the world doesn't conform to their will) Just MHO and nothing more.

 

I would totally agree with this EXCEPT that the child in question as Aspergers.

[mickev99]

Not every situation leads to a 12 year old being able to be the center of the universe. Out of respect for family and the fact that he's the kid and that the family WILL be dining together he needs to throw on a pair of slacks (or jeans for a non-formal night) for dinner.

 

If he choses not to do this he should be staying in the cabin with room service while the others eat in the DR and not being given full run of the ship while the rest of the family dines.

 

What do his parents have to say about his refusal in this circumstance?

 

(And before I get flamed for suggesting taking away the "poor kid's vacation pleasure - I taught 12 and 13 year olds for 30+ years. In my experience the ones who rule the household often have BIG problems later on when the world doesn't conform to their will) Just MHO and nothing more.

 

AGAIN...I am NOT the parent, I am the Aunt, and I parent completely differently than he is parented. i.e. My kid tells me she's hungry at midnight...well, you know what sweetie, breakfast is in a few hours, you'll get fed then. Guess next time you'll eat all of your dinner. My kid doesn't want to go to sleep at 8pm...so sad, it's bedtime, that's the rule. My home is not a child centric home, so I don't have this issue. I was simply asking a question for someone else that I don't have the right to make and enforce the rules for.

I am not flaming you for your opinion at all, because I totally agree with you, but I have made it clear that I was asking for the rules/allowances of a specific act, since I don't have authority over this child to enforce any such rules.

[beautiful.thing]

I'd rather see a kid in nice khaki shorts and a nice polo shirt than a ratty pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Use your best judgement.

 

On all of our cruises I have required dress pants, shirt and tie for my son on formal nights but other nights he just has to look nice and he always does in his shorts. He knows he needs to be dressed in something nicer than his regular outfits if he wants to go to the MDR and he always does.

[mickev99]

shorts are fine.

 

our kid has worn shorts several times in the mdr.

 

it is not a problem, except on cruise critic...

 

lol!!!

[mickev99]

This is more of a parenting question than an "is it allowed" question. Will he get stares or be banned from the MDR in shorts....absolutely not. Is not wearing shorts the right thing to do and does this situation present teaching opportunities...absolutely yes.

 

No, it is NOT a parenting question, because I am NOT the parent. I clearly stated that this was my nephew. He has parents that will be on the ship. I WAS asking an "is it allowed" question. I did not ask anyone for parenting advice, since it's not MY child!!

I thought I made that clear in my initial post, but apparently not.

[mickev99]

They will let him in with khaki shorts. I have a nephew with Asperger's and he also had issues wearing certain types of clothing. My in-laws took the whole family on FOS and the only thing they asked is we have dinner together as a family. We found him khaki shorts, but they had an elastic waist, I think from Land's End, and a few soft polo shirts. He did fine with those. On formal nights, no way could he wear a collar shirt or tie, so we took him to the Windjammer and brought him to AO, he was very happy. We had him meet up with his cousins and grandparents at Ben and Jerry's for desert. It was a compromise that worked for all of us and did not stress him or his single mom. Maybe some people didn't like that he was in short pants, but they don't walk in his mom's shoes either. My father-in-law is now very sick, and I'm glad we had those family dinners together, shorts and all.

 

Thanks for the info! I'm not sure what the issue is for him, but I'll pass elastic waist suggestion along.

[jp30338]

shorts are inappropriate at any age for dinner in the MDR. ESPECIALLY workout gear/basketball shorts.

 

it's not your nephew's call.

 

I wear shorts in the MDR and I'm a grown azz man! :p