Been on the Carnival Valor before? Can you give opinion of things to do on board

[ScubaSteve46231]

So....quick question for those who have been on a cruise on the Carnival Valor before: Any idea what there will be to do on board this ship while at sea? I am excited about our trip in September (it is part of our honeymoon) but more for the stuff to do on shore. Since this cruise has a "day at sea", I am concerned that there will just be a big gap of boredom that day. The last cruise (Carnival Fascination, my first and so far only cruise) were on encountered bad weather so we skipped a stop and were stuck onboard. It was kind of painful because there were no interesting on board activities. It leads me to view cruise ships in much the same way I do being on board a transoceanic flight in first class, only with better food. I honestly hope the onboard part of this cruise will be more fun than the first one I was on. If there is not much to do, I would like to know in advance so I can be sure to bring plenty of movies to watch in between ports. Any advice or input would be really great!

[Cruising Golfer]

We were on her in April 2014. We had no trouble finding things to do.

Trivia contests, Ice carving, Hairy chest, Game room, Casino, Pool, Sun deck, Basket Ball, Ect.

You should be able to keep busy... Great crew, wonderful ship, even found a bar or two to enjoy!!!

Have Fun!:D

[ScubaSteve46231]

Ice carving? LOL That sounds fun.

 

I knew about the casino and pool/sun deck but neither of us are big gamblers and both have to be careful about sun exposure because we both burn (the joke I tell is that I am German, Irish, English, Scottish and Welsh: five shades of pasty white drinker!). There was trivia games on the Fascination but we left quickly because it was all pop culture about which neither of us know much. LOL

[ryansmith18]

A lot of this is a matter of perspective. I enjoy cruising not because of all the things to do, but because of all the opportunities to do absolutely nothing.

 

Grab a drink, grab a chair, enjoy the view. That's how I spend my sea days.

[ScubaSteve46231]

That's true. If all else fails, I'll park myself on the balcony but I prefer more mental stimulation than that. :)

[Cruising Golfer]

Forgot to mention People Watching, you can do that for hours...

Hit the giant chess board...:cool:

[ScubaSteve46231]

Giant chess board?

[Aplmac]

Carnival Fascination is 70,583 tons built in 1994

 

Carnival Valor is 110, 239 tons, built in 2004

 

I think you'll find quite some difference, just in the ship itself.

 

 

 

Valor's entertainment staff has lots of stuff to keep you busy/-ish during your day at sea

but as some suggested, you might want to wind down a little

on this port-intensive cruise.

 

Tuesday is the one day-at-sea you'll have, after Saint Thomas on Monday.

Tuesday nite is dress-up nite, as is Thursday as well (post-St.Lucia).

 

Most folks say they need a holiday after a Valor Southern Caribbean cruise!

I'm thinking you won't be disappointed.

 

.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Aplmac

[Normal 1]

Was on the Valor last month. There are shows each evening, commedians 4 of the nights, various food/liquour tastings, trivia all over covering a wide range of topics, Dance classes, karaoke, several areas with live musicians, deck games, etc.

 

Seems most evenings before main show time there are always audience participation games, etc. in the show lounge that are fun to watch. No telling what funny antics you can see when fellow cruisers have a few drinks in them.

 

I like lots of activities but I also like relaxing with a book and there are plenty of shady areas on deck to do so.

 

Enjoy your cruise.

[ryansmith18]

Fair enough, but let's be real here - the alternative you're suggesting (watching movies in your stateroom) doesn't exactly provide mental stimulation either. Your best bet is to get out of your comfort zone.

 

The trivia contests are stupid. Do them anyways.

The hairy man contest makes me want to punch myself in the face. But I watch it anyways.

Plays and live shows that they do at night aren't something I'd normally do either. But I go and enjoy myself.

I hate spending money on souvenirs, but I do take an opportunity to browse the shops on board and see what they have to offer. Once in a while I'll find something I don't mind getting.

Mini-golf is the most cliche kind of thing for me to do with my wife. But I don't get many opportunities to do it in the middle of the ocean, and so I do it. And I find that I enjoy it.

Bingo is a game invented strictly for very young people and old people. And as a 29 year old you bet your *** I'm gonna do it on my next cruise.

 

Art is a thing.

Wine tasting is a thing.

Basketball and other sporty things are things.

Swimming pools, hot tubs, and water slides are things.

Night clubs, piano bars, and sports bars are things.

Karaoke, stand up comedy, and the theatre are things.

 

I think you can't afford to be picky if you want to really enjoy your cruise. Get out there and do a bit of it all. Personally I wouldn't do 90% of these things on land, but I also wouldn't rent a hotel room and just sit in it watching movies either. You paid for all of these activities with your cruise fare, you may as well give them a shot, right? Worst case scenario you realize within a few minutes that you don't like it and you can move on to the next thing. Check your daily Fun Times and see what's coming up.

[ScubaSteve46231]

I didn't realize it was considered intense because there's the gap as the ship heads to Barbados. I think we will have a good time and my only "concern" (not sure if that's the right word) was just with the day at sea.

[Cruising Golfer]

You will need that one sea day to rest for all the diving and walking and drinking you will be doing after that day!!!:eek:

[ScubaSteve46231]

I'm sure there are things to do, but I joke that I'm an old man trapped in a thirty-three year old's body. Maybe it's the years I spent on ambulances (and my fiancee still works on them), but we found ourselves on the last cruise avoiding a lot of the events because of drunken stupidity. It got to the point where we simply started going back to the cabin after dinner to get away from the noise.

 

The main difference I see is that I see the cruise ship as just a means of transportation between ports so the cost for the tickets is like a plane ticket. Sitting in bed watching documentaries and reruns of Blackadder and Dad's Army is much more stimulating than a hairy chest contest. At least, that's how we see it.

 

Maybe we just aren't "Carnival people" but I want to give it another chance. At least there is the art gallery (such as it is) and a cigar bar. Plus it sounds like there are a few other good things to do as well. I didn't think of mini golf. LOL

[Aplmac]

You be sure to come back here to us

to let us know how different it was to your first cruise. :D

 

 

 

The Most Fun for us is...

After the 9 p.m. show in the big lounge up front

Felipe, your cruise director, holds a music trivia show on Promenade Deck 5

right close by the Casino (you'll see the small stage).

Don't miss it: it starts at 10 p.m. on Tuesday nites.

 

 

 

Here's a sample of the kinda fun that transpires.

 

y04VDCyKN1s

That's the way you'll be too!

 

.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Aplmac

[ConshyCrock]

When all else fails my suggestion would be to grab a drink (or 2) and some food then plant yourself in a comfortable chair on a public deck. Then people watch to your heart's content because you will not be disappointed! Some of our best cruise memories involve weird, random things we've managed to see people doing and we still talk about them years later. And I'm sure I've done some stupid things myself that other people still talk about too!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[hirent]

ahem....you mentioned this will be a part of your honeymoon....and you are looking for things to do....on board....really??

 

ha ha....just kidding!

 

My wife and I were on the Valor in Dec.

Since we did an all day island tour at every port, we didn't really have a lot of time on the ship.

 

Here are some suggestions though -

[1] Hit the steam room & the sauna.

[2] Do the water slide.

[3] Relax in Serenity.

[4] View a few sunsets from one of the hot tubs (front of the ship) as well as your balcony.

[5] Go to the not-so-secret balconies and experience a ship docking.

[6] Hammocks!

[7] Behind-The Fun tour (though to tell the truth, we didn't enjoy it much). It takes place on the Sea Day from 8 or 9:00 a.m. and lasts about 4 hours.

[8] Food (goes without saying), try the Taste Bar, Mongolian Wok and Fish & Chips.

[9] Try different combinations of items: for instance someone posted that they take a few brownies and mix them with the softserve icecream to create a milkshake. There is a thread on here dedicated to creative recipes that cruisers have tried out on board Carnival ships.

[10] Try something on the menu that you have not had before, especially from the 'Didja' section. And if you like it, order double!

 

Off-shore:

St. Thomas: Go with Luen's Taxi service for an island tour.

Barbados: Get together with some people, hire a car and go to Bathsheba. Its on the other side of the island but the mushroom rocks are worth it.

St. Lucia: Herod Stanislas of Herod's Tours; you get an authentic Creole lunch cooked by his mother at their home.

St. Kitts: Island tour with any taxi driver.

St. Maarten: Island tour from the pier.

Edited June 26, 2014 by hirent

[ScubaSteve46231]

Awesome ideas.

 

On shore is pretty well taken care of (the following is just our list of ideas from our "plans"):

Monday 9/29

St. Thomas (0700-1700)

Two tank dive in the morning

Lunch/Dinner (recommendations from Trip Advisor)

Gladys' Cafe

Greengo's Caribbean Cantina

 

Tuesday 9/30

DAY AT SEA

 

Wednesday 10/1

Barbados (0800-1700)

Nidhe Israel Synagogue (I'm Jewish so I kind of want to check this out)

Banks Brewery

Mount Gay Rum Visitors Center

Concorde Experience

Cockspur Beach Club (for drinks)

George Washington House $10.00 pp

Foulkestone Marine Preserve (snorkeling)

Orchid World

 

Lunch:

Ambience Bar and Grill

 

Thursday 10/2

St. Lucia (0800-1700)

Diamond Botanical Park (Soufriere)

Snorkeling at the Pitons

 

 

 

Friday 10/3

St. Kitts (0800-1700)

Two tank dive in morning

Brimstone Hill Fortress

Restaurants (based on TripAdvisor)

El Fredo's

Spice Mill

 

Saturday 10/4

St. Marten (0700-1700)

Getting drunk and watching planes land (big jets come in mostly during the afternoon hours)

 

 

ahem....you mentioned this will be a part of your honeymoon....and you are looking for things to do....on board....really??

 

Yeah, we're already basically an old married couple. LOL

[pghsteelerfan]

I also tend to get "bored" on Sea Days but actually enjoyed the break last May when we went on Valor. I LOVED the itinerary. On the Sea Day, you can sleep as late as you want but if you want a lounger, I wouldn't recommend sleeping in too late. The pool at the back of Valor will be crowded, but didn't seem packed and is also a lot quieter than the main pool. I'm pretty sure it was adult only. Even if you can't get loungers by the pool, there are tables underneath where you can keep belongings and just get in the pool. On our last four cruises, we have used the first Sea Day to walk all throughout the ship to see where everything is and also to get pictures of these areas. On our last cruise on Carnival Liberty this past April, we went and found the "Secret Deck" - the decks at the front of the ship on Deck 6 & 7. There was no one else out there and the views were beautiful. To get there, on either Deck 6 or 7, just walk all the way to the front of the ship to the point you can't go forward any more. On each side there is a door that leads to the outside and to the secret decks. We spent about 15 minutes out there getting pictures and enjoying the views. We did a very similar cruise on our honeymoon in 1992 but the one and only Sea Day was on the last day. That would be nice. We were tired from the five busy days and that's also when we took advantage to pack. Last year we packed after our day in St. Maarten before and some more before going to bed. The sea day on that cruise was also really nice in that as we headed north, we were passing the other islands and had great views of them. I hope you enjoy Valor and the itinerary as much as we did and that you have a wonderful and memorable honeymoon.

Edited June 27, 2014 by pghsteelerfan

[ScubaSteve46231]

I also tend to get "bored" on Sea Days but actually enjoyed the break last May when we went on Valor. I LOVED the itinerary

 

Yeah, I travel a lot for work and can't stand down time. I get bored way too easily which makes me grumpy. The old military adage of "hurry up and wait" just frustrates the crap out of me. LOL

 

On each side there is a door that leads to the outside and that's how you get to the secret deck.

 

Thanks for sharing the secret!

 

The pool at the back of Valor will be crowded, but didn't seem packed and is also a lot quieter than the main pool.

 

Good to know. Despite knowing that I wanted to get as far away from the "attractions" like the pool and stuff, Kat (my fiancee) stuck us on Deck 10 just forward of the pool and slides in Cabin 1040-something. Earplugs were the first thing I packed based on the prior experience (on the Fascination) with screaming kids and drunken idiots causing a ruckus at weird hours. LOL

 

On the Sea Day, you can sleep as late as you want but if you want a lounger, I wouldn't recommend sleeping in too late.

 

I may be weird but I would much rather be out on deck late at night...at least after the party crowd has faded into an ethanol-fueled oblivion for a few hours. The sea is just much prettier at night. Going out that late was one of the few ways Kat and I managed to make it through the last cruise because of the gaggle of folks we were with. Actually I should tell that entire story. It's pretty funny in hindsight. At the time, there were four of us trying to figure out whether it was worth trying to explain to the authorities why we had bound, gagged and tossed several other members of our group off the fantail along with the maitre d' from the main dining room.

 

It was her cousin's hijacked honeymoon.....out of 13 people, the cousin (Mike), his new bride (Danica), Kat and myself were the only ones young enough to not be the target audience for Golden Corral and the AARP. Also, we were the only ones who seemed to grasp a little thing called social grace. Mike's mother (Carol, a really sweet lady but definitely a redneck with ZERO filter when it comes to her mouth) had been widowed the year before and the groom and his wife live literally next door. They didn't think it was right to leave her alone in a town that literally has more squirrels, deer and meth cookers than it has people. So they invited both mothers along.

 

Somehow- no one is exactly sure how- but Carol heard this as "Invite everyone!" and proceeded to act upon it. The information was relayed to us by Kat's mother (Jackie) who is a nice person if not for her political views and resultant xenophobia. It's odd that someone who loves cruising as much as she does pretty much looks down her nose at anyone who isn't white, conservative and American; we joke that she's the sort of cruise passenger that is to blame for there being American chain restaurants in all of the major ports. Hearing her description of Cozumel was interesting: "It was okay but they really seem to have a problem with there being a lot of Mexicans down there". I don't think she was kidding.

 

Now, when I was told that someone had invited their family along on their honeymoon, I was suspect and probably should be faulted for failing to do my due diligence by asking Mike or Danica about this but was more or less told to just "go with it" to avoid causing a problem. So we booked our flights and the cruise.

 

The night before the trip (roughly a week after the wedding), Carol, Mike and Danica came over to stay at the house that Kat and I share with her parents. It was then and only then that the newlywed couple became aware of what Carol had been up to. Needless to say....they were less than thrilled.

 

Things started to go wrong from the moment we got on the plane for the trip to Jacksonville via Memphis. Jackie is a nervous flyer to put it mildly and regularly takes what should be anti-convulsant doses of Ativan just to avoid flipping out on board. She has developed such a tolerance though that it just makes her a little calmer but not much. On her last flight coming home from an Alaskan cruise, she mixed her Ativan with pain meds and antihistamines and ended up taking her pants off much to the displeasure of her husband. You can see where this is going.

 

Both David (Kat's dad) and I are experienced flyers- as a point of fact, I work doing aviation safety research and previously worked on air ambulances- so there's a lot of laughing at how flipped out Jackie gets. Kat and I found a perfect book for me to read on the flight given that we were seated across the aisle from her parents. The book? They Called It Pilot Error . The flight attendants thought it was funny and actually showed it to the flight crew as we were getting off the plane in Memphis. Kat's mom griped at me for five minutes about how it was inappropriate.

 

On climb out from Indianapolis, passing through a thin layer of clouds we hit a brief (maybe two seconds) patch of light turbulence. You would have thought the wings were coming off. Jackie, in her normal anxious manner, called out to her sister at the front of the plane "CAAAAAROL! ARE YOU OKAY UP THERE?!?!". "YESSSSSS! BUT DO THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOIN'?". Son of a *****, I am trapped in a pressurized metal tube with two women who think the height of humor is reality television and often act like extras from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. There was a thud as I saw Mike bounce his head off the seat in front of him in frustration. Amen brother, amen.

 

We get on the ground in Memphis and Kat and I are off like a shot to get as far from the group as possible. Hunkering down in a bar near our assigned gate, we downed a couple of hurricanes to ease the pain. As the plane was boarding, we walked to the gate and found that Jackie had been panicking because we had not waited with them. Mike and Danica were sitting quietly as far from the group as they could with looks of frustration and resignation on their faces. I felt sorry for them.

 

Arriving in Jacksonville, we found that we were sharing a hotel room with Kat's parents which just made an already annoying day even worse. I like both David and Jackie- I would die to protect them because they are family- but their interests, political views and taste in television make me want to scream. Being stuck in a hotel room and forced to listen to Fox "News" at a volume that would deafen the guys from Deep Purple (David is hard of hearing) made me wonder whether we were high enough off the ground to make a jump out the window fatal. LOL

 

The next day, we all pile out to go to the cruise port and find Mike and Danica standing off to the side as Jackie tries to assert her dominance in organizing everyone which just produces even more confusion and delay. This was our first chance to really talk to them and we learned just how disgusted and frustrated they were. They had actually thought about skipping the cruise and just going home. I can't say I blamed them.

 

We get on board and into our room. I have to say that one of the bright spots was our porter/room service guy (whatever they call them). He was polite, professional and genuinely friendly. His empathetic ear would end up making a huge difference for me in the later part of the cruise.

 

We ended up with a room just above the water line which was kind of nice since at several points we saw dolphins pass below our window. The window itself could have used some work since the welds all the way around it were nothing but solid rust which is understandable given the exposure to salt air but doesn't exactly help to inspire confidence if it's permitted in such an obvious spot.

 

The dinners were great in terms of food and service but after going to the first night, we learned to eat quickly. The dining room we were assigned was under the direction of a tiny little rat-like character who I would have used to go fishing for sharks off of the Serenity area if I had been given half a chance. This maitre d managed to ruin what was otherwise the high point of the cruise. A few minutes into the dinner service, this shrill voice which sounded like every bad parody of Asian accented English that one has ever heard would signal that the waiters were about to be embarrassed and distracted from actually taking care of the passengers. Beyond that first night, there was a mass exodus from the dining room when you would hear "ITTTTTTTTTT'S SHHHHHRRRRRROOOWTIME!". Of course, the rednecks we were traveling with stayed for the little show that was put on but we fled along with probably a quarter of the guests. It was so bad that we ended up being stopped by the ship's officer in charge of guest services who wanted to know why we were leaving.

 

The only other big issue we encountered that Carnival had anything to do with was that they deemed the the sea "too rough" to stop at Half Moon Cay. I found this a bit comical since I am used to viewing choppy water as a minor inconvenience (used to be search and recovery diver for the volunteer fire department) until it gets to the point where you are looking up at the peak of the wave and then down at the trough. Yeah, it was raining and the waves were maybe 2-3 feet but nothing that would pose a hazard. Whatever. They gave us a stop in Freeport as an attempt to make up for it and I have to say that if you have never been to Freeport, count yourself lucky. I have been to some real Third World ****holes for work and Freeport is just above the rural parts of the Democratic Republic of the Congo for terms of "things to do and see". The people are friendlier, fewer of them are carrying assault rifles and while the selection of trinkets was less diverse, no one tried to sell me a rocket propelled grenade (as happened in the DRC), so all in all, let's just chalk it up as a tie.

 

Nassau was the other stop and we had a great time. We ended up spending part of the day with Mike and Danica exploring some of the shops and just giving them a chance to vent about how everyone else was ruining their honeymoon. The local folks were wonderful and I loved the food recommendations we got simply by asking a Bahamian cop. He seemed to be even more eager to help us when he realized we were also involved in emergency services based on the shirts we were wearing from our respective departments. While I did burst a blood vessel in my ear while diving there (which left me hard of hearing for about two weeks not to mention dizzy, nauseous and cranky), Nassau is high on my list of places I want to spend more time in.

 

The major problem with the group we were with- if you haven't gathered- was the nagging, meddling and second guessing of Jackie and Carol whenever they saw us. It was almost a competitive sport between them to see who could most condescendingly express why they would not have done what we did. Finally, we just switched tables and set with another part of the group which included Kat's other cousin Connie and her husband Kenny plus "uncle Jack"(who can pass as a stunt double for Si Robertson from Duck Dynasty and apparently signed a few autographs on the ship as a result). Mike and Danica were "not allowed" to do this by Carol and Jackie for some reason. I think a lot of it has to do with Jackie's desire to be the center of attention. Like I said, I love her and for the most part like her but she can (like all of us) be very frustrating at times. Unfortunately, five days worth of those times seemed to have occurred in a row during this cruise. LOL

 

We felt horrible for Mike and Danica so to cheer them up we had a cake sent to their room one night. That same night, the dynamic duo of Jackie and Carol decided to surprise them with a cake in the main dining room delivered by a bunch of singing waiters. Mike is a big strapping fellow who loves to hunt, fish and is all about family through and through (he bought a house next to his mom for crying out loud; we live an hour from my parents and I consider that entirely too close!). He is not shy in the slightest but he tried to slide under the table as everyone stared at the spectacle unfolding around them. Both he and Danica ended up leaving the table without even having any of the cake and we followed them out.

 

I later found out that they pulled Kat aside while she was out and about (I had gone back to the cabin to sleep off the pain and other symptoms from the ear issue) and thanked her for the cake we sent to the room. It wasn't much but apparently it meant a lot to them.

 

That's pretty much it. I just hope this next cruise goes better than that one did but unless we end up on board a repeat of the Costa Concordia or the Morro Castle, I don't think it could be any worse. LOL

 

Steve

[jwalk03]

Just relax and enjoy the one sea day this cruise offers. You will be exhausted from your vacation by the time its over. It really is a WONDERFUL cruise though. Every island is simply amazing and they are all so unique.

 

We usually lounge by the pool on sea days with a drink and a book. If you are worried about too much sun, do the lounging with a drink and a book in the shade.

 

I will say on this particular cruise I thought the night life was lacking compared to other Carnival cruises I have taken. (Too many early ports every morning so everyone goes to bed much earlier apparently.) BUT we still had a WONDERFUL TIME! This is one cruise I would actually consider repeating (Though too many other places I have not been yet to actually repeat it anytime soon.) I like new ports on each cruise!

[shark&minnow]

I'm curious about the Behind the fun tour. It something I'm interested in, but it seems pretty expensive and 4 hours seems long. Can anyone tell a little more about it?

Thank you

[Rock_ON!!]

I thought you might be interested to see the synagogue in St. Thomas. It's the 2nd oldest one in the in the world . It's right off the main drag in town.

 

 

It's just a moment, this time will pass

[ConshyCrock]

I'm curious about the Behind the fun tour. It something I'm interested in, but it seems pretty expensive and 4 hours seems long. Can anyone tell a little more about it?

 

Thank you

 

 

If you're interested in it now then I say do it because you will not regret it. We did BTF when we were on the Valor a couple of year ago and it was awesome. You get a behind the scenes look at the theater, kitchen, housekeeping, food and beverage storage and I95. You also get to go up to the bridge and talk to the captain, as well some free goodies. We thought it was totally worth it and would do it again on a different ship.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[pghsteelerfan]

Yeah, I travel a lot for work and can't stand down time. I get bored way too easily which makes me grumpy. The old military adage of "hurry up and wait" just frustrates the crap out of me. LOL

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing the secret!

 

 

 

Good to know. Despite knowing that I wanted to get as far away from the "attractions" like the pool and stuff, Kat (my fiancee) stuck us on Deck 10 just forward of the pool and slides in Cabin 1040-something. Earplugs were the first thing I packed based on the prior experience (on the Fascination) with screaming kids and drunken idiots causing a ruckus at weird hours. LOL

 

 

 

I may be weird but I would much rather be out on deck late at night...at least after the party crowd has faded into an ethanol-fueled oblivion for a few hours. The sea is just much prettier at night. Going out that late was one of the few ways Kat and I managed to make it through the last cruise because of the gaggle of folks we were with. Actually I should tell that entire story. It's pretty funny in hindsight. At the time, there were four of us trying to figure out whether it was worth trying to explain to the authorities why we had bound, gagged and tossed several other members of our group off the fantail along with the maitre d' from the main dining room.

 

It was her cousin's hijacked honeymoon.....out of 13 people, the cousin (Mike), his new bride (Danica), Kat and myself were the only ones young enough to not be the target audience for Golden Corral and the AARP. Also, we were the only ones who seemed to grasp a little thing called social grace. Mike's mother (Carol, a really sweet lady but definitely a redneck with ZERO filter when it comes to her mouth) had been widowed the year before and the groom and his wife live literally next door. They didn't think it was right to leave her alone in a town that literally has more squirrels, deer and meth cookers than it has people. So they invited both mothers along.

 

Somehow- no one is exactly sure how- but Carol heard this as "Invite everyone!" and proceeded to act upon it. The information was relayed to us by Kat's mother (Jackie) who is a nice person if not for her political views and resultant xenophobia. It's odd that someone who loves cruising as much as she does pretty much looks down her nose at anyone who isn't white, conservative and American; we joke that she's the sort of cruise passenger that is to blame for there being American chain restaurants in all of the major ports. Hearing her description of Cozumel was interesting: "It was okay but they really seem to have a problem with there being a lot of Mexicans down there". I don't think she was kidding.

 

Now, when I was told that someone had invited their family along on their honeymoon, I was suspect and probably should be faulted for failing to do my due diligence by asking Mike or Danica about this but was more or less told to just "go with it" to avoid causing a problem. So we booked our flights and the cruise.

 

The night before the trip (roughly a week after the wedding), Carol, Mike and Danica came over to stay at the house that Kat and I share with her parents. It was then and only then that the newlywed couple became aware of what Carol had been up to. Needless to say....they were less than thrilled.

 

Things started to go wrong from the moment we got on the plane for the trip to Jacksonville via Memphis. Jackie is a nervous flyer to put it mildly and regularly takes what should be anti-convulsant doses of Ativan just to avoid flipping out on board. She has developed such a tolerance though that it just makes her a little calmer but not much. On her last flight coming home from an Alaskan cruise, she mixed her Ativan with pain meds and antihistamines and ended up taking her pants off much to the displeasure of her husband. You can see where this is going.

 

Both David (Kat's dad) and I are experienced flyers- as a point of fact, I work doing aviation safety research and previously worked on air ambulances- so there's a lot of laughing at how flipped out Jackie gets. Kat and I found a perfect book for me to read on the flight given that we were seated across the aisle from her parents. The book? They Called It Pilot Error . The flight attendants thought it was funny and actually showed it to the flight crew as we were getting off the plane in Memphis. Kat's mom griped at me for five minutes about how it was inappropriate.

 

On climb out from Indianapolis, passing through a thin layer of clouds we hit a brief (maybe two seconds) patch of light turbulence. You would have thought the wings were coming off. Jackie, in her normal anxious manner, called out to her sister at the front of the plane "CAAAAAROL! ARE YOU OKAY UP THERE?!?!". "YESSSSSS! BUT DO THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOIN'?". Son of a *****, I am trapped in a pressurized metal tube with two women who think the height of humor is reality television and often act like extras from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. There was a thud as I saw Mike bounce his head off the seat in front of him in frustration. Amen brother, amen.

 

We get on the ground in Memphis and Kat and I are off like a shot to get as far from the group as possible. Hunkering down in a bar near our assigned gate, we downed a couple of hurricanes to ease the pain. As the plane was boarding, we walked to the gate and found that Jackie had been panicking because we had not waited with them. Mike and Danica were sitting quietly as far from the group as they could with looks of frustration and resignation on their faces. I felt sorry for them.

 

Arriving in Jacksonville, we found that we were sharing a hotel room with Kat's parents which just made an already annoying day even worse. I like both David and Jackie- I would die to protect them because they are family- but their interests, political views and taste in television make me want to scream. Being stuck in a hotel room and forced to listen to Fox "News" at a volume that would deafen the guys from Deep Purple (David is hard of hearing) made me wonder whether we were high enough off the ground to make a jump out the window fatal. LOL

 

The next day, we all pile out to go to the cruise port and find Mike and Danica standing off to the side as Jackie tries to assert her dominance in organizing everyone which just produces even more confusion and delay. This was our first chance to really talk to them and we learned just how disgusted and frustrated they were. They had actually thought about skipping the cruise and just going home. I can't say I blamed them.

 

We get on board and into our room. I have to say that one of the bright spots was our porter/room service guy (whatever they call them). He was polite, professional and genuinely friendly. His empathetic ear would end up making a huge difference for me in the later part of the cruise.

 

We ended up with a room just above the water line which was kind of nice since at several points we saw dolphins pass below our window. The window itself could have used some work since the welds all the way around it were nothing but solid rust which is understandable given the exposure to salt air but doesn't exactly help to inspire confidence if it's permitted in such an obvious spot.

 

The dinners were great in terms of food and service but after going to the first night, we learned to eat quickly. The dining room we were assigned was under the direction of a tiny little rat-like character who I would have used to go fishing for sharks off of the Serenity area if I had been given half a chance. This maitre d managed to ruin what was otherwise the high point of the cruise. A few minutes into the dinner service, this shrill voice which sounded like every bad parody of Asian accented English that one has ever heard would signal that the waiters were about to be embarrassed and distracted from actually taking care of the passengers. Beyond that first night, there was a mass exodus from the dining room when you would hear "ITTTTTTTTTT'S SHHHHHRRRRRROOOWTIME!". Of course, the rednecks we were traveling with stayed for the little show that was put on but we fled along with probably a quarter of the guests. It was so bad that we ended up being stopped by the ship's officer in charge of guest services who wanted to know why we were leaving.

 

The only other big issue we encountered that Carnival had anything to do with was that they deemed the the sea "too rough" to stop at Half Moon Cay. I found this a bit comical since I am used to viewing choppy water as a minor inconvenience (used to be search and recovery diver for the volunteer fire department) until it gets to the point where you are looking up at the peak of the wave and then down at the trough. Yeah, it was raining and the waves were maybe 2-3 feet but nothing that would pose a hazard. Whatever. They gave us a stop in Freeport as an attempt to make up for it and I have to say that if you have never been to Freeport, count yourself lucky. I have been to some real Third World ****holes for work and Freeport is just above the rural parts of the Democratic Republic of the Congo for terms of "things to do and see". The people are friendlier, fewer of them are carrying assault rifles and while the selection of trinkets was less diverse, no one tried to sell me a rocket propelled grenade (as happened in the DRC), so all in all, let's just chalk it up as a tie.

 

Nassau was the other stop and we had a great time. We ended up spending part of the day with Mike and Danica exploring some of the shops and just giving them a chance to vent about how everyone else was ruining their honeymoon. The local folks were wonderful and I loved the food recommendations we got simply by asking a Bahamian cop. He seemed to be even more eager to help us when he realized we were also involved in emergency services based on the shirts we were wearing from our respective departments. While I did burst a blood vessel in my ear while diving there (which left me hard of hearing for about two weeks not to mention dizzy, nauseous and cranky), Nassau is high on my list of places I want to spend more time in.

 

The major problem with the group we were with- if you haven't gathered- was the nagging, meddling and second guessing of Jackie and Carol whenever they saw us. It was almost a competitive sport between them to see who could most condescendingly express why they would not have done what we did. Finally, we just switched tables and set with another part of the group which included Kat's other cousin Connie and her husband Kenny plus "uncle Jack"(who can pass as a stunt double for Si Robertson from Duck Dynasty and apparently signed a few autographs on the ship as a result). Mike and Danica were "not allowed" to do this by Carol and Jackie for some reason. I think a lot of it has to do with Jackie's desire to be the center of attention. Like I said, I love her and for the most part like her but she can (like all of us) be very frustrating at times. Unfortunately, five days worth of those times seemed to have occurred in a row during this cruise. LOL

 

We felt horrible for Mike and Danica so to cheer them up we had a cake sent to their room one night. That same night, the dynamic duo of Jackie and Carol decided to surprise them with a cake in the main dining room delivered by a bunch of singing waiters. Mike is a big strapping fellow who loves to hunt, fish and is all about family through and through (he bought a house next to his mom for crying out loud; we live an hour from my parents and I consider that entirely too close!). He is not shy in the slightest but he tried to slide under the table as everyone stared at the spectacle unfolding around them. Both he and Danica ended up leaving the table without even having any of the cake and we followed them out.

 

I later found out that they pulled Kat aside while she was out and about (I had gone back to the cabin to sleep off the pain and other symptoms from the ear issue) and thanked her for the cake we sent to the room. It wasn't much but apparently it meant a lot to them.

 

That's pretty much it. I just hope this next cruise goes better than that one did but unless we end up on board a repeat of the Costa Concordia or the Morro Castle, I don't think it could be any worse. LOL

 

Steve

 

I just have to say you have me totally cracking up. I know it wasn't funny then and I feel so bad for Mike and Danica, but to just visualize all of this is hilarious! I love the way you described it. I sure hope you will consider doing a review after your cruise because I'll definitely read it if you do.

 

We just had a bonus sea day on Liberty in April, Grand Cayman was closed for wind/sea conditions (9 ft. swells & 36 mph winds) and I de. Two sea days is the max I can handle but we ended up with three...can you say bored? That's why I LOVED the port heavy itinerary on Valor. Our fellow passengers on that cruise were pretty laid back, nice to talk to and a lot of fun and we didn't witness any of the pushing, shoving, and line cutting that we hear about. Maybe we just lucked out with fellow passengers but I've seen other reviews of Valor that say they had a similar experience. I remember a few years ago when Victory was doing the southern itinerary out of San Juan, they had a port stop every day. It was the same itinerary as Valor's current one, but they went to Dominica on the Sea Day. We really wanted to do that one but always had other plans.

 

I hope you have a better time on this cruise and hope you have great weather the whole week. And thank you for the laugh...even if it wasn't funny. :)

[frazzledrazzle16]

I may be weird but I would much rather be out on deck late at night...at least after the party crowd has faded into an ethanol-fueled oblivion for a few hours. The sea is just much prettier at night.

 

Couldn't agree more! We just sailed this itinerary in May and my FAVORITE memory is on the last night traveling back up to Puerto Rico we spent some time at the front of the ship on the Serenity deck. It was compeletly quiet and empty... I have never seen so many stars in my life! The best part was passing by all the tiny lit-up islands and trying to guess which was which. :D

 

Others have said the same thing, but its good advice- Use the one sea day to rest and re-charge because it is such a port-intensive itinerary and you'll have no other real breaks for the remainder of the cruise.