What would you do?

[luckyprincess]

:D

Yes he was told this and that is why he said he will go and suffer through it! My hubby now refuses to allow him to go( as vacation time is very important to us) Son says we will be stealing from him as we refuse to let him go with the attitude he is giving us. He no longer lives at home and dad and I are enforcing tough love at this point! Though my softhearted mom side is being crushed as we have always taken our family on our big trips and know i will miss this but I will survive! Both daughters and new Sil will be with us and I just know my son will regret his choice!

 

You sound like a really sweet Mom and your hubby sounds like a good disciplinarian. I think not letting him go with a bad attitude and making him pay is the right move and a great lesson for him to take into his late 20s. Letting him go if he promises an attitude change and you can really believe he will follow through (lots of males in their early 20s still behave like teens and are super moody and hormonal, so only you know) sounds good too. I'm sure he will regret his decision in time. But in the meantime, sounds like you have the right course of action.

[squadron]

So you already told him he would have to pay if he backed out and he's backing out? I would leave the reservation as is and have him pay back every penny! Time for him to grow up and take responsibility for his actions!

 

Agreed!!! Twenty five is not a moody teenager or shouldn't be anyway. Definitely make him pay back any money you spent on his behalf. If he sulks - so be it. Eventually he will get over it when he matures.

[taylortime05]

We went on the Oasis May 31 cruise with me, my hubby and my 3 adult kids (18, 20 and 26).

 

It was 1st cruise for 18 year DD & 26 year DS. It was 2nd cruise for me, hubby and my 20 year DS.

 

We had a good time but I was a little disappointed with my kids, especially the 20 & 26 year old. My daughter has a boyfriend & son has a girl friend and they bought the internet package with their own money. They slept late, went back to cabin in afternoon for naps and went to cabin early to text their boyfriend/girlfriend. My 26 year old even spent time in cabin watching movies on his computer.

 

I tried to keep a positive attitude because it is their vacation and they should be able to relax and do what they want. But I spent a lot of money for the 5 of us and I was so surprised they did not want to venture out more and experience all the fun stuff to do on the ship.

 

Unless I change my mind that will be the last vacation where I am paying the bill for everyone. My next cruise will be me and hubby only. My hubby doesn't believe me. He thinks I will change my mind.

 

I guess the one thing I learned is do not bring adult kids who are in love on the cruise unless their love interest can come on the cruise too.

 

Sorry for the long reply - but if your son doesn't want to come then I would leave him at home and try to get another friend or family member to take his spot since it was such a great deal.

 

Hope you have a great cruise!

[luckyprincess]

We went on the Oasis May 31 cruise with me, my hubby and my 3 adult kids (18, 20 and 26).

 

It was 1st cruise for 18 year DD & 26 year DS. It was 2nd cruise for me, hubby and my 20 year DS.

 

We had a good time but I was a little disappointed with my kids, especially the 20 & 26 year old. My daughter has a boyfriend & son has a girl friend and they bought the internet package with their own money. They slept late, went back to cabin in afternoon for naps and went to cabin early to text their boyfriend/girlfriend. My 26 year old even spent time in cabin watching movies on his computer.

 

I tried to keep a positive attitude because it is their vacation and they should be able to relax and do what they want. But I spent a lot of money for the 5 of us and I was so surprised they did not want to venture out more and experience all the fun stuff to do on the ship.

 

Unless I change my mind that will be the last vacation where I am paying the bill for everyone. My next cruise will be me and hubby only. My hubby doesn't believe me. He thinks I will change my mind.

 

I guess the one thing I learned is do not bring adult kids who are in love on the cruise unless their love interest can come on the cruise too.

 

Sorry for the long reply - but if your son doesn't want to come then I would leave him at home and try to get another friend or family member to take his spot since it was such a great deal.

 

Hope you have a great cruise!

 

Yeah, I think this can be typical for that age set. I was married at 23 and still totally moody lol!

[Artemis]

We moms always have a few tricks up our sleeves. Maybe you haven't run out of them yet! Would you be happy if he went and (cheerfully) joined the family dinners, but did his own thing the rest of the time, even in ports? He may be acting the spoilsport because he doesn't think hanging out with the parents and all those women sounds fun. What is this kid passionate about, and are there any ports that you could research and tempt him with what they have that would be of special interest to him? Or is he a reader : location books? Or maybe y'all could start having movie nights and he'd get with the program--Rome and Venice (don't know your itin.) are featured in some great flix, there is some movie with a thrilling boat chase scene through Venice, I think it was a Bond film!

 

Just trying to get creative here. Sorry he's being such a pain! Your trip sounds wonderful--you are so generous to take all the big kids. Don't let him get you down!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Cruise Critic Forums mobile app

[tidygirl]

I made final payment today and left the reservation as is for now. I told my travel agent my son was backing out she wondered why? I said he's upset with us for laying down the law on situations in his life she said that's STUPID! Let me talk to him (she didn't) So hopefully a miracle will happen in the next 2 months but if not I think I will get my money back! I like the idea of birthday and Christmas money reimbursing me! I love having my family vacation with me have had them for all their life, but if he chooses otherwise I guess as much as I won't like it I will accept it!

[Kryssa]

I made final payment today and left the reservation as is for now. I told my travel agent my son was backing out she wondered why? I said he's upset with us for laying down the law on situations in his life she said that's STUPID! Let me talk to him (she didn't) So hopefully a miracle will happen in the next 2 months but if not I think I will get my money back! I like the idea of birthday and Christmas money reimbursing me! I love having my family vacation with me have had them for all their life, but if he chooses otherwise I guess as much as I won't like it I will accept it!

 

Oh, it seems the plot has thickened - you are "laying down the law" on a 25-year-old's life? Seems he should be doing his own thing now, no? (Unless these are laws about paying rent if he still lives with you...)

[workingonlytocruise]

Make him pay every penny back. This is a man not a child and a very self centered one at that.

[marisa877]

He is 25 already made sure he could get that week off and last winter was told if he said he was going then backed out he'd have to pay us back what we'd lose! Now of course he don't want to fork out that kind of money, he will go and SUFFER through it but DH says no way he's going to go ruin our vacation! It is a big mess! I know lots of people would love this opportunity he is throwing away but name changes on airline tickets aren't allowed from my understanding?

 

I'm not sure if it's a decision by airline, but last winter my uncle couldn't go on a family cruise at the last minute and he gave the trip to me. He was able to change to my name on both the cruise and the airline ticket (US Air). So don't just assume that you couldn't change the airline ticket, I would ask if you need to!

[tidygirl]

Oh, it seems the plot has thickened - you are "laying down the law" on a 25-year-old's life? Seems he should be doing his own thing now, no? (Unless these are laws about paying rent if he still lives with you...)

 

Oh Yes! Hubby is slow to anger (have seen him angry less than 10 times) and have known him for 36 years and on Mothers day dad told DS he could make the choice come home several nights a week (not 1 just to sleep) or change his address! Thus he no longer lives at home! Last weekend dad told him no to another situation and he is acting like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum! He was not like this for 24 yrs but has got involved with the wrong person and has done a 360! Everyone that knows him has been blown away!

This cruise was to celebrate our 30 yr anniversary and by no means are we wealthy people! We have worked hard all our life and believe me I'm not going to lose our money my mind is made up he can take the loss not dear mom and dad!

[jcaz14]

Hey tidygirl-

 

You sound like a great mom. Stay strong! Remember he has his agency and just like you taught him when he was 5, there are consequences (good and bad) to your choices.

 

Good luck! Your job is to keep it together and have an awesome time despite his decision! 30 years is certainly something to celebrate!

[4-me]

I think your husband sounds like a very smart man. Who wants a 25 year old grump on your vacation? I have an 18 year old son who was wonderful on our recent cruise - but I also made it clear that if he acted moody or selfish, it would be the last trip he was invited on. Luckily he loved every minute and was a lot of fun on the cruise.

 

If you are paying, regardless of age (and 25 year olds should have moved beyond this stage, unless they are still living at home and acting like an old teen) then they should either be thrilled to be going or at home seeing the trip on twitter. I do think that he should get a nice card for his birthday and Christmas with a note telling him how 1/2 of his debt for the flight has been credited for each. Sometimes you have to have a rough few months or a year to move on to a better place. And him being disrespectful and self indulged isn't a happy place for any of you.

 

My two cents... for what it's worth. :)

[tidygirl]

I've always had in my mind as long as we could come up with the money I would like to treat my kids and eventually grandkids to a family vacation. It does require a lot of planning and sacrifices which is ok with me as long as the family appreciates it and we enjoy travelling together. (27 and 22 yr old daughter are joining us along as new son-in-law) it just put a damper on it that son isn't going, but life will go on!

I told my son a vacation is something most people WANT to go on not have to be forced! I have lots of people that would Love to join us and want me to adopt them!!

[tidygirl]

Well our big trip is over and son did not change his mind! I did get a refund for his port taxes and insurance from RCI he was sailing under the 3/4 guest free, we were out the airline tickets and mean old mom here stuck to her guns and made him pay for that (by the way he's not talking to me), but I figured it was his choice not to come celebrate our 30th anniversary trip and though I did feel sad that he missed out on so a trip of a lifetime we still had an awesome time and I posted a review under Our families viewpoint of our Med. cruise.

[reallyhooked]

Glad you had a great trip.

[maureencruiser]

I'm glad you had a good time, Congrats on your 30th. I'm sorry your son is acting like a turd, he'll come around one day.....

[emski83]

Leave him on for now but maybe have a back up person who'll happily take his place and ask your son to pay any difference.

[twindaddy]

Well our big trip is over and son did not change his mind! I did get a refund for his port taxes and insurance from RCI he was sailing under the 3/4 guest free, we were out the airline tickets and mean old mom here stuck to her guns and made him pay for that (by the way he's not talking to me), but I figured it was his choice not to come celebrate our 30th anniversary trip and though I did feel sad that he missed out on so a trip of a lifetime we still had an awesome time and I posted a review under Our families viewpoint of our Med. cruise.

 

Good for you for sticking to your guns. I am sure it was hard, and a hit in the pocket book, but you did the right thing.

 

BTW, I would have been glad to come and pretend to be your son.