The husband approved

[AmberTeka]

The dream is my favorite ship. We sailed her 4 times. I still have not gotten over being irked that it was moved from Port Canaveral. enjoy.

 

In our family. I pick the cruise. I pay for the cruise. I pick the excursions. As the casino is a lure for him, He goes. Still he likes to know. To change Dr. Appointments. He won't cruise when the U. of Georgia is playing a football game.

 

our issue.......He has a hissy fit if he has to drive to South Florida. Pouts. sulks. He is a good natured man ordinarily and I think it is that he is a Florida Native.

 

He remembers Miami the way it was and it bothers him. that it is now the second largest Spanish speaking city in the world.

I was born in Alabama so I don't give a toot.

 

And I help drive. it is just something he does not talk about. He did drive down to take the Freedom three times to Panama. That he did not fuss about.

 

Everyone has something about vacations that has to be agreed upon. If I booked a cruise. And didn't tell him .....I would be sailing alone. Been together 45 years. something worked. Matters when you consult your partner. A lot.

Edited June 20, 2015 by AmberTeka

[Illyria]

I mostly pick the ship and excursions and decide what's a good price. But I do ask him if he is interested in the itinerary - no sense in making him take a vacation in a destination that he'd hate, that would be pretty mean... We also happen to work for the same company, so I'm very well aware how hard it is sometimes to get time off, so I wouldn't spring a last-minute trip on him.

[jmcancruise]

Congratulations on the cruise. DH and I would never consider making what for us would be such a significant purchase without the other being in agreement. So yes in a sense I do ask dhs permission, just as he would ask mine.

[nsullivan]

Man, some people. Anyone with common sense would know what your post meant. And even if you really needed your husband's permission, that's your business. This forum is about cruises, not marriage advice.

 

We almost booked a cruise for next November but I couldn't wait that long. 289 days left is plenty long enough for me.

 

We're cruising on the Liberty next April. I've found it helpful to read all the reviews people have posted. Especially from the really experienced cruisers. They always know things that the normal public doesn't.

 

Don't let these people ruin your excitement!

[picomullet]

Congratulations on the cruise. DH and I would never consider making what for us would be such a significant purchase without the other being in agreement. So yes in a sense I do ask dhs permission, just as he would ask mine.

 

Ditto!!

[momof3cruisers]

He always goes....I let him plan excursions. LOL Works for us. ;)

I just let mine pay. ;)

Yeah y'all are definitely taking it too seriously.... For the most part he just says "tell me where to be and when and how much" and I plan everything. But I run things by him to make sure it's something he wants to do too, and because we're married and financially pay for trips and things together it's important to make sure we both agree on the trip.

 

Of course... And you never said you asked permission--you said he approved. Big difference. I have been married for 23 years and I always ask my husband if he's okay with it before booking any trip. Even if it's a trip just for me to visit my sister or for just me and the kids. As you say, it's both of our money, it's courteous to discuss it. And I bet yours, like mine, wouldn't ever really say no or disapprove. Keep discussing anyway.

 

Have a very fun trip. I'd like to sail out of NOLA some day.

[Bob NC]

...so now you say, "I was just kidding." Your original post began quite differently...

 

So what?

 

Is this really all you have to do?

[sweetsixteencruisers]

Have a great cruise!

[summersigh]

Yeah y'all are definitely taking it too seriously.... For the most part he just says "tell me where to be and when and how much" and I plan everything. But I run things by him to make sure it's something he wants to do too, and because we're married and financially pay for trips and things together it's important to make sure we both agree on the trip.

 

We function much as you do having been married with joint accounts for 41 years. :D We've made it a practice that neither of us makes major purchases without first mentioning it to the other.

 

We begin by deciding what port/ports we each would like to visit then go browsing brochures and the internet for itineraries that fill those desires. I narrow it down and run some choices by him ... together we decide which to take ... then off I go to the TA.

 

We've made a hobby out of our traveling and totally enjoy our pre-cruise process (yes ,,., we're both retired :D )

[Kcruiser2014]

I also think people are taking it to seriously. I can't imagine spending the sums I do and not asking if he is OK with it. I have booked before I have spoken with him. BUT, always make sure there are no fees to cancel if there is really a reason he doesn't want to go.

 

Last month, I was given a free cruise from the casino. Hubby just said--- no--- we are not going again! He said he was cruised out..... After 20 years, you would think he would know better. The costs involved were minimal... So... I booked a mother-daughter cruise with my 16 YO. His only comment was.... Stay out of the casino... He knows better... Next day, we discussed budget and I'm a happy woman! Now, I go on a cruise with my DD who really wanted to go, and he gets 6 days to hang out with his buddies and meet us Thursday for a nice weekend in Galveston.

 

He still is saying he doesn't want to go on the Decenber cruise I booked. We will discuss. If by final payment, he really objects, I will cancel. No biggie. BUT, I would never book anything that had cancellation fees without discussing with him first. It probably helps that I make most of the money, but it is OUR money, not mine. Therefore, respecting his opinion is important to me. He would never make a large non-refundable purchase without consulting me.

 

I often weigh my objections to how much it means to him. Even if I object a particular purchase, sometimes I say sure, even though I don't want to, because it is important to him. He does the same. Major purchases with OUR money, need to be made by US, not just one. I get his approval, he gets mine.

 

He learned a long time ago that the quickest way to get me to do something, is for him to just tell me NO without having a rational discussion as to why he doesn't want me to do it. I am not a child and will not be treated like one.

 

But, approval and permission are two different things. I will always ensure I have approval if it is for both of us or is a large expenditure, but, I never ask for permission.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Kcruiser2014

[portocaller]

I use the word permission all the time when what I really mean is approval. It is just habit. I know the difference and really that is all that matters. The surest way to get my husband to say no to a major purchase (like a vacation) is to book it before there is discussion. To me, it is simply about respect. We equally contribute to the household so we equally decide how to spend our money. I wouldn't respect him if he decided to put a downpayment on a large purchase without consulting me. OP was talking about a rather large purchase, not weekly grocery shopping.

 

Have fun!

[GrannyFlamingo]

This thread tickles me to no end. Everyone manages their marital dance differently. If you can enjoy your cruise, ENJOY your cruise!

[love my grandkids]

Cannot imagine husband and wife not discussing this before deciding to book.

[Kova15]

Excited for you! I cant wait for my DH to give me permission for our next cruise! Have a great time on your cruise! Happy Planning!

[missygirl]

Lol my husband pays for everything and I still plan all of it

 

I just tell him what days to ask off work and that's it

 

 

Sounds like us...he's laid back and I make all the plans.:)

[cruznjan]

I was going to suggest we cruise next year for our 35th wedding anniversary. I didn't get to do it because out of the blue he said he wanted to do a Hawaii cruise this year. No argument here!

[Huffmanfam2005]

Congrats on your upcoming cruise :) never stop asking for permission either , my husband and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary in 3 days with a cruise... He works , makes a incredible amount of money , always says yes ... So the least I could do is just ask... Make sure it is something he wants to do also .. It is a respect thing and it is great that you don't act like a entiltiled spoiled woman and just do whatever :-)

[Karebear98]

DH leaves all vacation planning to me and I leave all date night & anniversary planning to him 17 years its a gem a system :)

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Forums mobile app

[christyran1228]

Congrats on your upcoming cruise :) never stop asking for permission either , my husband and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary in 3 days with a cruise... He works , makes a incredible amount of money , always says yes ... So the least I could do is just ask... Make sure it is something he wants to do also .. It is a respect thing and it is great that you don't act like a entiltiled spoiled woman and just do whatever :-)

 

My DH is super tight-fisted and I love him and he keeps me grounded.

 

I don't ask permission, and I don't do ***ever with our money without mutual agreement.

 

I am much, much craftier than that. I turn the womanly charm ALL the way up ... which includes but is not limited to randomly sending provacative text messages while he is at work...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like of him and his deli favorite..

 

Icy cold beverages from our favorite spot at the comedy club...

 

And incomparable views pulling into port- like St. Marteen last November...

 

 

 

 

There were more ... but we are only allowed 3, right?

 

Needless to say, we are about to book the Breeze for sometime next year. 😉

Edited June 23, 2015 by christyran1228

[MasterMason]

Lol...I second that! Discussing plans and expenditures is one thing, but needing "permission".....hopefully the OP just worded it wrong!

 

...so now you say, "I was just kidding." Your original post began quite differently...

 

Your 2nd year anniversary, congratulations. I'm glad you're not reading too much into some of these comments, because they're not helpful at all.

 

Please, continue to do what works for you, and take these comments with a grain of salt. Some people talk a good game online, but you never know what they really go through behind their own closed doors.

 

I'm happy that you're planning a new cruise, and I hope you see many more!

 

Oh, and yes, for the judgmental, APPROVAL and PERMISSION are two different things.

[babyher]

My DH is super tight-fisted and I love him and he keeps me grounded.

 

I don't ask permission, and I don't do ***ever with our money without mutual agreement.

 

I am much, much craftier than that. I turn the womanly charm ALL the way up ... which includes but is not limited to randomly sending provacative text messages while he is at work...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like of him and his deli favorite..

 

Icy cold beverages from our favorite spot at the comedy club...

 

And incomparable views pulling into port- like St. Marteen last November...

 

 

 

 

There were more ... but we are only allowed 3, right?

 

Needless to say, we are about to book the Breeze for sometime next year.

 

 

 

*LOL* Atta girl :)

 

 

Anyone ever gets a hold of DWs and my texts and E mails .....ahh who am I kidding ask us and we'd show you *LOL*

 

 

On big purchases and vacations we are taking together , and important decisions of course we plan them out together. But on the small stuff we aren't too big on permission and "I'm allowed" or "he /she will let me" just aren't even on our radar.

 

 

 

When I hear about some people's marriages I have been known to send DW flowres or a little gift , just for not being "Bob's wife " :)

[PH29]

Congratulations on your cruise. Don't let the people on here get you down, some of them are so negative, but most of us got your point.

[tdggal1980]

man, some people. Anyone with common sense would know what your post meant. And even if you really needed your husband's permission, that's your business. This forum is about cruises, not marriage advice.

 

Don't let these people ruin your excitement!

 

like!

[vlynn]

The main reason I have to ask my husband for permission is because he knows how impulsive I can be, LOL. We would be fired and broke by now if he didn't keep me grounded.

 

Do I still get my way most of the time, well of course, but he keeps me from going overboard and I keep him from wasting away behind a desk his whole life. Works for us!!

 

Congrats on booking your cruise. I know you will have an awsome time. Enjoy!! :D

[babyher]

The main reason I have to ask my husband for permission is because he knows how impulsive I can be, LOL. We would be fired and broke by now if he didn't keep me grounded.

 

Do I still get my way most of the time, well of course, but he keeps me from going overboard and I keep him from wasting away behind a desk his whole life. Works for us!!

 

Congrats on booking your cruise. I know you will have an awsome time. Enjoy!! :D

 

 

:)

 

DW and I are the same way.

 

She has taught me to lighten up considerably and the last 12 years of my life have been wayyyyyyyyy more fun than they would have been without her.