Hubby can't go with me, what to do now??

[Aldeya]

I'm reading between the lines. First to point out, this is a big company, not a small company and the husband is just a number, but not a "must have to be present employee or everything falls apart". So everyone at some point in time has a "boss" who loves to control every aspect, and uses employees as pawns. I'm assuming this is the case. To ignore or put off approval for a vacation is a sign of weakness on the boss, and is also a sign that he/she is insecure in their own job so that they must be that controlling person.

 

The second point is that a "person" works always for the benefit of themselves. The job provides security, happiness, fullfillment and money. The "big" company, is not human, and often times, is just churning out a product. They (company) has no meaningful benefit that is measurable outside of the fact that the job is getting done.

 

This is just a case of the boss vs the employee. The boss making it hard for the employees and the expectation of this type of boss is that the employee will cowl under the desk. It's a poor way to manage.

 

My suggestion is simply and always take charge of the situation. It's simply to stand up to the "bully" instead of backing down.

 

Sure you may not have a job after but if you are working in a big company than take it to HR. I worked for one year, with a boss like this. I started looking for a job after 5 months and was out of their after 11 months. During the last 6 months, I stood up to the "boss" every week with an issue. This person wanted to control the exact time to go on a break like an assembly line so she can make sure everyone is back. I would leave 5 minutes early, and get pulled in for a discussion. I told her I had to use the rest room, and that was not included in the break time. By the time I was finished, the break started so now I take 20 minutes. She had a fit, but I won, because she can't prevent a person from using the bathroom. HR thought it was creative and laughed.

 

I had two days request off. Never approved it. Called in sick instead. Wanted a note. Laughed because company policy and privacy laws prevented it. HR asked me if I was sick. I said it was private. She said ok, than you were out sick. Case closed.

 

It's a risk, but if the employee follows the rules, and a boss does not, than options are available in big companies. Don't be bullied.

 

Excellent response. I agree with every word. If he put a request for vacation in NOVEMBER and just got denied in JANUARY something in "approval process is not working.

 

Do NOT give up so easily. He is not property of the company after all.

[Jana60]

I'm reading between the lines. First to point out, this is a big company, not a small company and the husband is just a number, but not a "must have to be present employee or everything falls apart". So everyone at some point in time has a "boss" who loves to control every aspect, and uses employees as pawns. I'm assuming this is the case. To ignore or put off approval for a vacation is a sign of weakness on the boss, and is also a sign that he/she is insecure in their own job so that they must be that controlling person.

 

The second point is that a "person" works always for the benefit of themselves. The job provides security, happiness, fullfillment and money. The "big" company, is not human, and often times, is just churning out a product. They (company) has no meaningful benefit that is measurable outside of the fact that the job is getting done.

 

This is just a case of the boss vs the employee. The boss making it hard for the employees and the expectation of this type of boss is that the employee will cowl under the desk. It's a poor way to manage.

 

My suggestion is simply and always take charge of the situation. It's simply to stand up to the "bully" instead of backing down.

 

Sure you may not have a job after but if you are working in a big company than take it to HR. I worked for one year, with a boss like this. I started looking for a job after 5 months and was out of their after 11 months. During the last 6 months, I stood up to the "boss" every week with an issue. This person wanted to control the exact time to go on a break like an assembly line so she can make sure everyone is back. I would leave 5 minutes early, and get pulled in for a discussion. I told her I had to use the rest room, and that was not included in the break time. By the time I was finished, the break started so now I take 20 minutes. She had a fit, but I won, because she can't prevent a person from using the bathroom. HR thought it was creative and laughed.

 

I had two days request off. Never approved it. Called in sick instead. Wanted a note. Laughed because company policy and privacy laws prevented it. HR asked me if I was sick. I said it was private. She said ok, than you were out sick. Case closed.

 

It's a risk, but if the employee follows the rules, and a boss does not, than options are available in big companies. Don't be bullied.

 

Please take note this individual reported that he did not have that job six months later. If that is the desire of your husband to leave his current employers employ then he can do whatever his little heart desires otherwise what is suggested above is quite risky whether you work for a small company or a large corporation. Sounds like they put up with him about 6 months too long!

Edited January 8, 2016 by Jana60

[Havingfun2010]

Please take note this individual reported that he did not have that job six months later. If that is the desire of your husband to leave his current employers employ then he can do whatever his little heart desires otherwise what is suggested above is quite risky whether you work for a small company or a large corporation. Sounds like they put up with him about 6 months too long!

 

Just to point out, I chose not to be bullied and I chose to look for another job. There is nothing worse than working under a boss that does not respect you and treats you as someone lower than you. Of course it's a risk, but everything that I did, I did within the "company policy" but not within the "bosses policy". The thing was, in order to get rid of me, they needed to document and support breaking "company policy". I did accomplish a few things. First, I stood up to a bully, and two, my co-workers saw this in full view.

 

I don't suggest to randomly do things. You must do it within company policy and not be afraid to do so. A bully thrives on fear. Take that fear away, and the bully becomes dumbfounded. Putting in a request and being denied within a few days is not the same thing as putting in a request and having the boss leave you hanging is a control tactic also known as a tactic of a bully. In this case a vacation denial must have a valid reason, or it becomes a simple case to report to HR to sort out. If it is a "standard" work week, w/o other people off, and no unusual circumstances such as the peak week before Christmas etc than you certainly have just cause to pursue it.

 

Where I work now for the last 10 years, we have a clear policy. During certain weeks of the year (four total) it is restricted. The rest is first come/request first get the week for the remaining weeks of the year per your team. All we do is look at the calendar and if the week is free, than request it. If a second person would like it, than the work load is reviewed to see if it can be acceptable. Everyone knows where they stand and they can make plans.

[Aldeya]

Please take note this individual reported that he did not have that job six months later. If that is the desire of your husband to leave his current employers employ then he can do whatever his little heart desires otherwise what is suggested above is quite risky whether you work for a small company or a large corporation. Sounds like they put up with him about 6 months too long!

 

Wow, I'd hate to work for a boss with such attitude.

[xerenthar]

pretty amazing people are suggesting to go to HR to get vacation approved. it was denied for a reason. don't forget, HR is there to protect the company, not to protect you. why do they care your boss wants you to be there during a non-approved vacation request?

[hockeyluver]

My hubby also works for the big 3 (fords)

 

Can your hubby put in for personal days ? I read this to hubby and that's what he suggested....unless he works for Chrysler they are stricter with their absences.

 

If you do have him as a no show don't tell them at the port he isn't coming just say he is arriving separately or he is returning the car rental.

 

This really sucks !

Go and have fun.

[nealstuber]

pretty amazing people are suggesting to go to HR to get vacation approved. it was denied for a reason. don't forget, HR is there to protect the company, not to protect you. why do they care your boss wants you to be there during a non-approved vacation request?

 

 

Oh gee, thanks for reminding me, I DID forget 🙄

 

Wait, now I'm remembering something else: HR can protect the company by making sure supervisors and managers are behaving reasonably. I also think I read something about it being there job to keep good employees satisfied and engaged in ways that don't necessarily involve compensation.

 

Now it's entirely possible, that his company vacation policies are clear: many don't process such a request until the start of the year and award on a seniority basis for a few weeks before going to first come first serve deal. If that's the case here and it was clearly communicated, long standing practice then it's on Hubby. But given what we've heard so far, I sure don't think it could hurt to work this one up the chain.

 

Other options might be finding out who else is on vacation then and asking them if they could switch, going back to the decision maker and explaining the full situation and promising not to put the company in that situation again, or offering some other creative solution that meets the companies needs.

Edited January 9, 2016 by nealstuber

[hockeyluver]

My hubby also works for the big 3 (fords)

 

Can your hubby put in for personal days ? I read this to hubby and that's what he suggested....unless he works for Chrysler they are stricter with their absences.

 

If you do have him as a no show don't tell them at the port he isn't coming just say he is arriving separately or he is returning the car rental.

 

This really sucks !

Go and have fun.

 

Has he gone to the union rep and spoken to them about it ??

 

especially with our Canadian dollar......... you would really be out som big $$$

[xerenthar]

Wait, now I'm remembering something else: HR can protect the company by making sure supervisors and managers are behaving reasonably.

 

if there was a legal requirement for bosses to ask "reasonably" every company in the country would be bankrupt

[cruisinfanatic]

My hubby also works for the big 3 (fords)

 

Can your hubby put in for personal days ? I read this to hubby and that's what he suggested....unless he works for Chrysler they are stricter with their absences.

 

If you do have him as a no show don't tell them at the port he isn't coming just say he is arriving separately or he is returning the car rental.

 

This really sucks !

Go and have fun.

It's not necessary to lie

[shdixon]

I personally would not sail without my husband...but I also wouldn't be without insurance so cancelling would be an option. Good luck and hopefully somehow he'll get the vacay approved and y'all can laugh about this on the Lido!

 

I skimmed the original post so I missed where she asked us if she should travel without her husband and our thoughts. Nothing wrong with her having a good time with her family. Hubby may wnd up enjoying the quiet house

[firemanbobswife]

It's not necessary to lie

 

 

Agree. The lady at the check in counter said "Where's the other person? Are they not coming?" I told her "No, he's not." It wasn't an issue. She just took his S&S card out of the envelope and handed me mine then gave his still in the envelope to another lady whom I'm guessing was a supervisor. And that was that. There's no need for them to expect someone else. Just tell them upfront.

Edited January 9, 2016 by firemanbobswife

[nealstuber]

I skimmed the original post so I missed where she asked us if she should travel without her husband and our thoughts.

 

 

I don't see how you missed it, it was right after she asked for advice on how her husband should manage his career.🙄

[Boozebabe]

Girl trips are fun. AND you'll have lots of extra room. BUT DO NOT tell them he isn't coming. Tell them he's on a later flight and will check in on his own. End of subject. My friend told them he wasn't coming and BOOM she got the supplement fees charged to her. It's ridiculous because they already have his money.

 

Most importantly....have fun.

[firemanbobswife]

Girl trips are fun. AND you'll have lots of extra room. BUT DO NOT tell them he isn't coming. Tell them he's on a later flight and will check in on his own. End of subject. My friend told them he wasn't coming and BOOM she got the supplement fees charged to her. It's ridiculous because they already have his money.

 

Most importantly....have fun.

 

That's only of she cancels him (by phone/pre check in). If they are a no show that doesn't happen.

 

Also, they will not reprice you at the port and make you pay again (they already have 2 people's fare anyway) because most times the ship is sold out and they don't have any rooms in that category to give you "new" pricing on. I have also confirmed this with my PVP.

Edited January 10, 2016 by firemanbobswife