JW and Jerome's Adventure on The Norwegian Escape

[cruiseguys2009]

Cruise guys.

 

Did you happen to take pics of the cruise dailies? If so could you please post pics?

 

Trying to plan our entertainment/dining plans for our upcoming December '16 Eastern Caribbean sailing.

 

 

They are already on the boards from the first week of August's Escape sailing.

[hawkman402]

As many of you know, Jerome and I will be sailing on The Norwegian Escape, Saturday the 20th of August, 2016, and as of this writing....................SIX DAYS TO GO!

 

There are many experiences that I will write about that compare the two sailings, and the most important comparison will be the consistency of the Food and Beverage, the Level of Service and The Entertainment. I have withheld certain experiences to give you a side by side comparison as we continue the Adventures!

 

Of course, Jerome and I don't ever have a sailing without all the kooky, outrageous and unique experiences that follow us everywhere, so I will write about those too.

 

But since I learned one important factor regarding our upcoming sailing, most of the Senior Management Staff will be off the ship on vacation. This will include Sean (Who Rocks as The Hotel Director!), Martin (The finest Food and Beverage Manager we have ever met!) Adrian (Singularly the most outstanding Concierge in the Norwegian fleet. Anoop and Virginia take close runner-ups, but Adrian is the best!) and many, many others. I am extremely interested in how my experiences, and those of the passengers I observe, will be similar, consistent, better or heaven forbid, less than stellar. Trust me, when I come back from this sailing, it will be "Our Little Secret"!

 

Nonetheless, you most certainly can look forward to reading all about it here. It will be all fun and dandy, and sugar coated with the most colorful pictures I can paint using literary composition as my canvas.

 

My most important comparison will be the Food and Service throughout the ship. The In-Room Dining. Often overlooked. The Seafood Buffet, for instance. Was it just crab in season that provided 3 foot crab legs on our June, 2016 sailing or is that the norm? Can I report back to you that the mounds of Shrimp Cocktail really do exist, or was it a fluke? Have obvious changes (good or not so good) been made in a span of six weeks or will we be surprised with new areas of excitement? And of course, as we were already on The EPIC with a "vacation replacement" Crew and have a vivid predisposition of a less than a positive experience on that sailing, are these unknown shadow Officers up to the task of an explosion of pleasure or an implosion of dissatisfaction.

 

It is with great anticipation that Jerome and I look forward to sailing, yet again, on The Norwegian Escape. (Pronounce it with your pinky up holding a Martini, The Es-Cah-Pey)

 

Do you know how long they are on vacation? I sail on 9/3.

[cruiseguys2009]

Wow thanks for the great explanation of the future cruise certificates. We sailed on Getaway in May for the first time and had already booked a Sky cruise for december and our upcoming Escape in September. I did not push my hubby on the purchase bc he is pretty loyal to Royal.I was told at the desk that they were no good on the bookings I already had. But it seems like a pretty low risk 250 gamble to assume I will not cruise NCL again.

 

Anyway, my question is how do you know which cruises allow you to use 2 certificates at once? And how long do they last? And if refundable, why do they expire? And they are good through TA and NCL?

 

Oh and I might be the one tying up the slot machine you want with my minimum bids of pennies:o

 

 

Sorry I just saw this question and was not ignoring you.

 

The CruiseNext certificates can be used on any future cruise I think 6 nights or longer. They can be transferred to friends sailing with you and can be combined with virtually every discount or promotion as a deposit. On certain sailings, they accept several certificates as payment, but that you have to find out from Norwegian directly as to what promotions are available. The CruiseNext personnel can let you know, at the time of purchase, which cruises are available and what dates are under promotion, that is how we knew about this next sailing August 20th.

 

The certificates are good for four years from date of purchase and are refundable only for a short time after purchase.

[cruiseguys2009]

Do you know how long they are on vacation? I sail on 9/3.

 

 

Through mid to late September.

[#55worktoplay]

Please fix yourself a martini and come back and please do share more about that machine on your first night!

[Lupush]

JW, I will be on the 8/20 Escape sailing and hope to see you on board! I too am a hospitality guy. Was an ops guy in NYC for over 10 years, have worked on the technology side the last 8 and relocated here to Florida. Anyway, when I introduce myself as Lee, the hotel guy from Cruise Critic you'll know who I am!

 

Best,

 

L

[ourfamilylovescruising]

:eek: your a bad boy leaving us on a line like that :D especially a crazy casino girl like myself lol

[cruiseguys2009]

The Escape Casino, The Final Chapter, The Middle

 

I have to digress a bit, and go forward, for a minute. Jerome was bouncing around between The Skyline Live Music Bar located on one end of the Casino, then at one point, found me at a machine in the Casino and let me know he was going to get Wings at O'Sheehan's, which is located on the opposite end of the Casino. Never once did I mention my stroke of luck to him as he went to O'Sheehan's. I kept it to myself and was waiting for the right time, as I certainly did not want him to relieve me of my winnings on the first night, Goshdangit! Again, he did that on The Norwegian Dawn, remember?!

 

So, and this is much, much later, after the win, I was sitting and playing at a machine, and it happened to be one of my all time favorite "New" machines, WONDER WOMAN. There is actually two of these machines in The Escape Casino flanked by two other favorites of mine, what I call, The Chinese Babies. It's very funny, these Chinese Babies. When you touch them on the video screen above, they move back and forth, they giggle and laugh, as if I was tickling them. They giggle out loud "Hee, Hee, Hee, Tee, Hee"! I love it! I am such a weirdo. It's supposed to be good luck to "Touch the Babies", I know it doesn't sound right, but you have to see the machine to understand.

 

So anyway, I had had lots and lots and lots of Martini's by this time and was playing the Wonder Woman machine, and since The Chinese Babies giggled when touched them, I wondered what Wonder Woman's Tata's would do when tickled her Big Gold Medallion's. (Yes, JW is very bad). So I was constantly touching the Twins and encouraging whoever sat next to me to tickle The Babies on that machine. "Touch the babies"! I would say aloud to the new player sitting down, and they would and we would laugh. Then I would usually say "Watch This"!, and scream "Wonder Womaaaaaan!" as I tickled her Golden Tata's. It was soooo much fun. Nothing would happen, they don't jiggle or anything, they are just big, gold boobies. But it's fun! Then I would get a little more imbibed and I would scream "Wondra Womaaaaan!" "Tata's of Flour!" Oh just thinking about that makes me tinkle, tinkle and tinkle again. I had folks in stitches.

 

"Wonder Womanaaaan!" Bink Bink on the screen. It cracks me up! It would be hilarious if they jiggled when tickled. How fun would that be?

 

So I am playing Wonder Woman and a new gal comes and sits next to me at The Chinese Babies machine. She is one of those tight woven kinds of people who clutch their purse and hold it tight to the underwire of their bosom as if someone is going to rob her on the ship. I turn to her say "Hello", just being cordial and polite, and she just looks at me, saying nothing, a real sourpuss. So I casually turn to her and say "Touch the Babies!" "It's good luck!" Not understanding what I was talking about and certainly not having any kind of sense of humor, she says to me "I'm am not Touching the Babies", as she clutched tight her purse even more. She took a drag off of her cigarette, pressed the Cash Out button, snatched up her ticket, got up from the machine, took another puff off of her half finished cigarette, then blew the smoke in my face and proceeded to call me a "Pervert". As she walked away, the whole scene was witnessed by about thirty of us playing in the area and it caused everyone around us to break out into ferocious laughter. I raised my Martini glass to her as she walked away, and I toasted her, "Cheers Honey!" "You are my Wondra Woman!" As I Bink Bink Bink on the screen with my other hand. Fabulously funny.

 

Ya Gotta Love having a blast with Auntie JW. I can't make this up folks. Just hang around me for 15 minutes and it just happens.

 

So Jerome peeped his head around, surprising me at the machine I was playing. Wonder Woman is a very tall machine so one can "Peep" around it. He had this very strange look, as if I am in trouble, on his face (As fricking usual) He says to me, "Having any luck?" I look up briefly at him, saying "I am doing okay". "Hmm", he replies, and then hesitates for a moment looking around, then says "Uh JW, I just came back from the room and I tossed the room looking for The Letter, I opened the safe and there was nothing new in it, I turned the room upside down, where did you put it?"

 

Well, my mouth opened up, my heart sank (I actually felt the same way I did when I was 8 years old and was fiercely sent to The Principal's, Sister Mary Ellen of The Catacombs, office back in Catholic School because I lifted Sister Maria Providencia's dress, or habit, in class, just to see what was underneath. I mean the other kids said she had hoofs for feet, I just wanted to see for myself, honest.) So there I was in mid "Touch" of Wonder Woman's Golden Breastplate and I had to stop and say "What are you talking about?"

 

"Come on, Trouble" Jerome said, using that (you know the one) tone of voice. "JW it's all over the ship", he continued. "I was in O'Sheehan's and a lady came in running, telling everyone, that some guy just won a huge jackpot!" "I was just sitting at the bar, all by myself enjoying my Jack and Wings and over heard this woman announcing to the whole bar that this guy, The Gay Guy, (which could only mean ME by the way, always) just won a huge jackpot!" "Knowing You as I do, Trouble", Jerome professed, "I just knew it was you and I immediately went back to the room and tore apart the cabin looking for the evidence" "Now, tell me how you are going to get out of this one?"

 

Then a big blabbermouth, a fixture playing a machine from across the aisle, hanging on every word of this confrontation, let's out "Oh yeah, He is a big winner that one is." I shoot her a look that is like keep your frigging mouth attached to your jaw will you please?

 

I think to myself, Jeez, the whole place knows. It's a conspiracy I tell ya. A Conspiracy!

"Well?" Jerome says with a shake of his ice in his cocktail glass. "Well what?" I say? He replies, "Are you the Big Gay Guy everyone is talking about?" "And if so, where is it?"

 

Okay, the jig is up, I silently confess. I don't say a word, I just reluctantly pull out a sizable sum of cash and the "Letter" (oh, it's just the IRS ID90/1099) as well as proof of my winnings. A certain amount is paid in cash, then the balance is ACH'd to my bank account (Or I could have maintained a Casino credit for the duration of the cruise, but, wisely, I chose the bank account route). Jerome was proud, as he thought I would blow the whole kit and kaboodle and not tell him, having to hear it not third hand, more like 25th hand. Nope, I also remember The Norwegian Dawn experience at 3 in the morning. I am not going through that again.

 

But dang, what a ship full of blabber mouths! I know who it was. She became the "Tour Guide".

 

Now I can go back to my big win.

Edited August 14, 2016 by cruiseguys2009

[salbert2314]

JW!

 

I have loved reading and laughing through each chapter and can't wait for your and Jerome's return from Escape round 2 with the continuation! So much great insight, tips, stories, and perspective.

 

I'll finally get to experience the Escape and all her amazingness January 21 for my 30th birthday with my two best queens. ;) We will be running for VIBE passes (I'm sooo excited for Shot O'Clock) and everything else that comes with it...we're all hoping for some good eye candy too! :D Several deposits into the Casino will be made and I know the ATM slot well too. My one bestie and I love our slots and had a good laugh with your categorization of casino goers hahaha. Thanks for the section on getting to St. John's, had this plan in my head, but now I have all the details to fully make it happen.

 

My 30th falls on the second sea day and I want to make the best of it (but lets be real I'll spend the first sea day celebrating my last day in my 20's!). I'm thinking VIBE and drinking for a good part of the day, want to do the ropes course and do the dare devil walk over the ocean, and dinner at Moderno for sure. Any thing you think would be fun to add to the day (bars, bartenders, eateries, etc) to make it even better? I'd love suggestion!

 

Thanks again for sharing your adventures!

[Zachsmom8899]

The Escape Casino, The Final Chapter of The Beginning.

 

Jerome and I, after having easily won on the ATM machine, decided to play, side by side, on The Wizard of Oz machines. They are graphically exciting, bonus rich and along with The Flintstones machines on the Left and Willy Wonka's on the Right, you can pretty much guarantee that the median age for these machines will be mid 50's. Hey, all they need is to add The Brady Bunch and The Munsters and my childhood will be complete! Hi graphics, low paying, but fun slot machines.

 

So Jerome and I sit down, and magically Jazz, our wonderful Cocktail Server appears. I order a Coffee with Bailey's with a Grey Goose Shot on the side. Hey, I am Livin' La Vida Loca...............okay?

 

I put my Casino Card into the machine and I get a, "Welcome JW" "You have Zero Points" Like Duh, wait until later in the week.................tonight is the first night. Nice to rub it in fuzz ball, but just you wait.

 

Now, it goes without saying that I saw a YouTube Video of The Norwegian Escape Casino that highlighted the Wizard of Oz machines, and I guess I had too many martini's that night, because I then had a dream that Jerome and I were playing these machines next to each other and he got a Bonus and, Bazinga! (Sorry borrowed that from my favorite show BBT) we were rich!

 

Well, not so fast. Bonus yes, just like the dream. Rich? Well no. It's a penny machine, in reality, on this machine a payout of "Rich" is only about a couple of thousand if we were that lucky. And at that very moment, Jazz had returned with my Coffee with Bailey's with my shot of Grey Goose, and as he proceeded to give it to me, I was paying attention to the Bonus Jerome got on his machine and wham, without me knowing, I was spilling coffee all over me....................on my gorgeous, Tommy Bahama white shirt no less..............in my excitement, the drink dribbled all over me while watching Jerome's bonus.

 

"Oh Jerome!" I exclaimed "Oh, I had a dream about you winning on the Wizard of Oz machine, and you getting a bonus and we were rich!" "Rich, Rich, Rich" "Yippee!" Mind you, coffee all the while is drip, drip, dripping all over my Tommy Bahama shirt embroidered with Martini glasses. Drip, drip, drip. The bonus goes on and on and on. I am Tinkling in my pants. Coffee dripping everywhere.

 

The bonus was a lot of noise and excitement, the payout was $6.40. Yay, we are rich, rich, rich I tell you, RICH! Six dollars for all that noise? You have got to be kidding.

 

Jerome looks over at me and I have the Bailey's and Coffee in one hand and I am pressing the (Max Bet) buttons of the machine I am playing with the other and he is just shaking his head. He says "Oh Lordie". I turn to him briefly, not wanting to take my eyes off my Wizard of Oz machine lest I win something, and he says "Uh, JW, What the heck is wrong with you?" I shoot him the "eyes", you know, "Those Eyes". "Wrong with me?" "What is wrong with me?" My fingers are now rapidly pressing the buttons on the machine as if I am in a slot tournament not caring about the eventual outcome, "Wrong?" I am getting a bit peeved. "Now what's the matter?" "Now what did I do?" (And I know I did something, you don't spend decades with someone and not know I did something wrong, as usual, Trouble is in Trouble).

 

"JW, look what you did to your brand new Tommy Bahama shirt!" Jerome had stopped playing his machine and he was sympathetically looking at me knowing that at any moment the sounds of devastation would erupt out of me and everyone in the casino would think I was going berserk. He had fully turned towards me, as if he were a Psychiatrist waiting to console and comfort the crazy patient before the patient goes berserk. Berserk!

 

Berserk is, well, just imagine, (go ask your gay friends), what would happen if I discovered I had spilled coffee all over a brand new, very expensive, Tommy Bahama shirt with Martini Glasses embroidered all over it and I was sitting there not knowing what I had done? In a very public place where hundreds of folks would see me and what a boob I was?...........Oh sure. I could maybe get away with "Oh it was the ship rocking" NOT! Not on The Escape! The dang ship never moved once. (We were just transported from port to port by alien spaceships, now that could be the Tequila talking!)

 

You wanna know how awesome Jerome was? He went back to the room with my shirt, (I took it off at the machine, you didn't think that I was going to leave the Casino did you? That would be nuts) and I sat there, playing out my money on The Wiz machine, with a coffee stained-thru undershirt on, bink, bink, bink, constantly pushing the max-bet button shouting "Come On Wicked Witch!" "I am NOT in Kansas Anymore!" "And Toto too!" Yes, I know that I am a mess, I know what you are thinking.

 

Jerome returned with a clean shirt for me (Thank Gawd I always pack "JW's been a boob" emergency clothes) and he let me know that he was going to go and check out The Skyline Bar, located by the Casino, where they actually had an incredible live cover band, and would he hang out there for a while. I said my tootles and began my "Quest" for the hunt of the machine that pays off on the first night. Never really ever finding it on any other cruise, but as elusive as it is, there is always that one machine that creates the "folk lore" for the entire rest of the sailing, a big jackpot on the first night, to capture the attention of all the folks just dying for it to happen to them..........the elusive jackpot was just waiting to be won.

 

And I just happened to sit down at that one machine this night.

 

Hey JW!!! Love your review! You have me feeling like I'm right there with you! Question for you.... You got the jackpot.... Could you tell me what the payout was? Not amount but percentage? I'm also curious was this a dollar machine? I'm trying to figure out the odds playing on the ship. Thanks.

 

Looking forward to your next review!

[#55worktoplay]

The whole ship knew you won and how much, are you not going to tell us!!!!

 

A gambling person like myself is halfway on their seat waiting with anticipation.

 

It sounds like a big congratulations is in order. Yaye for JW.

 

Interesting to hear you can have some deposited in your account, I only wish I can take advantage of that some day.

[cruiseguys2009]

There is no rhyme or reason to Sea Based Casino winning/losing slot percentages and the Sea Based Casinos do not have the strict regulations that are found in Vegas or Atlantic City, where they MUST payout a required percentage. I really believe that it is completely the luck of the draw, or perhaps maybe if the computer likes me, at that moment. Since most cruise ship Casinos offer only the newest, updated Electronic Computer Based games operating off the same identical platforms, with just different graphics and themes, I think that the computer controls the game and the eventual outcome. It's all about numbers. That being said, if the Sea Based Casinos were no fun and did not ever pay out, then they would lose a huge chunk of their revenue and would be ghost towns.

 

But hey, anyone who gambles for entertainment will attest that we are all just "Chasing a Dream". If we win, we win. If we lose, did we at least have fun? Was it exciting? Enjoyable? For me, The Norwegian Escape Casinos At Sea provided me an exceptional experience.

 

There are thousands and thousands of folks just like Jerome and myself that love to entertain ourselves in the Casino, thankfully for Norwegian Cruise Lines, right? Sometimes it is a great experience and then sometimes it is, well, we look at it as we just paid for our "Casino Complimentary" cruise but had a great time doing so. However, I have come to the conclusion that Norwegian's Casinos At Sea is the best Casino Promotional Operation in the country, and is incomparable with the rest of the larger Casino Cruise companies. This new "Points Level" program really sets it apart from the other cruise line casinos and I believe has real obtainable goals, reasonable perks and empowers the Casino Managers with the ability to provide immediate Customer Service Loyalty Perks, just like the old days of Las Vegas (The old days meaning about 6 months ago, snickering out loud).

 

It has been my experience all these years that someone has to win a fairly big jackpot, usually on the first night, to attract and keep players "Chasing The Dream!" all week long, throughout the length of the cruise. I guess, finally, that I was in the right place at the right time. It was my turn. However, that being said, I saw folks win $1,000 to $3,000 jackpots on Max Bet lines, regardless of the machine, every day and every night. I have never seen a ship's Casino pay out more, than on my sailing. I have heard folks say and write that The Norwegian Escape Casino is "tight". Malarkey! Every Casino is tight, unless I am winning or ahead! I am willing to lose money, or actually "Pay" for my casino comp cruise, as Entertainment value, nothing more or less. Anything more would be an immediate call to Gamblers Anonymous.

 

 

For instance, I remember one late afternoon on The Escape, when I was playing the Monopoly machine, Max Bet, for about an hour. Always reinvesting any win, getting mediocre bonus hits every now and then. Oy, I was getting bored. Jerome was standing over my shoulder and we struck up a conversation with a couple who stopped by to meet me and just had to inquire about my "Big Win" because "The Tour Guide" pointed me out to them earlier. They really were a very nice couple. Well, it got to the point that I was "over the machine" I was playing (some would call me an idiot!) and I merely said to the Mrs., "Here, come sit down and play this one now, I think it's going to hit". The wife was a minimum bet kinda gal, very hesitant, as the machine looks complicated (it does take some getting used too) and I encouraged her to go "all the way". I stood behind her and gave her the confidence she needed. She was initially frightened to do so, realizing Max Bet was Ten Dollars a spin, but thankfully, Jazz made sure we all had fabulous cocktails, and she took my advice and went for it. Max Bet! Hey, anything could happen. I just wanted to show someone how to really play a slot machine!

 

Don't you know, that on the fourth push of the Max Bet button, she got all "Golden" symbols (if you know that particular Monopoly Slot on The Escape, you know what I am talking about, and I freaking TINKLED!) and in the Bonus Round she won a thousand dollars. $1,000 Bucks! I made a believer out of her, Yesiree! She just about Tinkled right there too, and her husband, well he hugged me for so long that I thought he would be my puppy dog for the duration of the cruise. Ruff, Ruff! (Jerome of course could not pass up the chance to call me a Slut again, Jeez). We never saw them again after she cashed out. Good for her. I am sure she is still talking about her thousand dollar win!

 

Goes to show you, it's a numbers game. I got up, she sat down, with a little instruction and coaxing, she played the game, she won. The difference between her and I is that she left the Casino with her winnings, never to be heard from again, and I would have stayed to "Re-Invest" the winnings for the future Casino Cruise benefits.

 

So, the actual slot machine I won on, was not specifically a "Dollar" machine. It actually was a Penny Progressive, which is a laugh and a half. There is no "Penny Machines" out there. The minimum Penny bet is about 40 cents with a maximum "Penny" Bet being upwards of Twenty Dollars a spin. BUT! Regardless of whether 40 cents a spin or twenty dollars a spin, sometimes getting a Bonus pays out amazingly. However, most BIG Bonus wins require a MAX BET on these pesky new computer generated graphic and electronic machines.

 

The machine I won on, surprisingly, did not require Max Bet. And no, I am not telling you which machine it is until after my upcoming cruise that begins this Saturday, and will tell you in round two of the continuing Adventures, lest you steal my machine. HA! Folks following along that are reading this, and sailing with us, will figure it out soon enough, because I intend to plant my sorry big behind at the machine hoping that lightening will strike twice.

 

I was thinking to ask to have a Port-O-Potty installed at the machine and then will have Jazz kindly bring all my food and drink, having it delivered to me every day and night, as I play on "MY" machine. Kidding.................Pahlease!

 

________________________________________________

 

And Finally..................The Norwegian Escape Casino, The Beginning of The End:

 

 

 

Jerome had gone off and I was on the prowl. I surveyed the Slot Machine landscape. I watched, listened to the "Ding, Ding, Dings". I heard the winning roars over at the Craps tables. I creep-ed and floated thru the banks upon banks of machines. Which one was to be my prey? I was determined to sit down and find a machine that Auntie JW was going to be partners with for the night.

 

Suddenly, I got a feeling of excitement, (Or did I just have to Tinkle, for real?) "There it is!" I said to myself. Or was that just the previous Martini's talking that Jazz amply retrieved for me as I was playing on all the other machines up until this point. I saw it, out of the corner of my eye. It was literally behind a plant. She was a lonely, strange kind of machine, sitting all by herself. What is it anyway? I had never seen nor played it before. It's location dubious, as it was in the thick of all the action, but still removed so as to be, most definitely, always overlooked.

 

I got a closer look at the machine, trying to figure her out. "Her?", you ask? It has to be a Her, it's too complicated. Male machines are easy to figure out, just like football. If I put the money in, and it either quickly pays out or it doesn't, It's a HIM machine. If it really pays out, the wife is there (in this case Jerome) to relieve the guy of his winnings, quick. If it toys with me, and pays out here and there, sometimes with a BIG finish, its a HER. THIS was a HER machine! No one would ever know if someone won a jackpot, it was discrete. "Look at that Progressive Bonus!", I said to myself, "It's huge!" How in the heck does this machine payout and for that matter, what is the logic behind it?

 

I saw the machine from afar and initially ignored it. The machine seemed lonely, yet aloof. I was drawn to it though, like it called to me. I was captivated by her complicity. It spoke to me. "JW, JW" The Machine cried out, "JW, I am The ONE!" Okay, perhaps the many, many Martini's I imbibed were taking effect and it was the only machine not being played in that area, but just indulge me for a moment. Goodness gravy.

 

I sat down, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a crisp, new Benjamin Franklin. Inserted my card, then put the money in the machine, thinking all the while, "Good Bye, I shall never see you again, Ben, old friend of mine!". I proceeded to hit the Max Bet button and wouldn't you know it, I immediately got some kind of Bonus action.

 

I have no idea what kind of Bonus action it was, as I was still trying to figure out what the heck the machine did, how it paid out, how the game was played....Jeez, the game rules and payouts read like old fashioned stereo instructions!

 

Hmm, I got a $19.00 payout on a $5 Max Bet. "That's cool". Oh here's Jazz! I say "Hi Jazz, can I please have a...." Jazz stops me by saying "A Grey Goose Martini?" I nod my head rapidly while saying "YES PLEASE!" "I love you JAZZ!".............Now that WAS the Martini's talking!

 

I began to experiment with the machine, still trying to understand it, figure it out. She was certainly illusive. It is not one of those new Japanese style machines that are so loud and full of intense, colorful, and flashing electronic, reel spinning excitement, but, it is definitely Asian inspired. I would tap, tap, tap on different denominations alternating on each spin, going from minimum to maximum. I would win here and there, but still not fully comprehending the payout system, when suddenly, as Jazz was delivering my Martini and I was signing the slip (but always leaving a tip for him so the slip totaled a $1.00 gratuity as the drinks were comp'd), I pressed the button at the same time he was handing me my Martini, and as I grabbed the Olives on the pick to flick one in my mouth with the first sip of the Martini, the machine literally "Freaked" out.

 

Freaked out. "Whooop! Whooop!" I got the one in a million Bonus combination and did not realize it. Apparently, as I later figured out, the God's of the Slot Universe have to align these specific numerals and symbols up, perfectly, as shown in the payout schedule for the Mega Bonus to be triggered. That is what happened. I was now going to be known as Miss Mega Bonus!

 

So here I am, by myself, throngs of folks walking by, folks also playing machines all around me, and I quietly sit, trying to figure out this bonus. I don't have to press any buttons, nor do I have to interact. This "Lady" of a machine is doing it all by herself. Reel Spin upon Bonus Reel Spin.

 

I have no idea what I am winning so far, nor how I actually won, but this Lady is paying out continuously until, the God's of the Slot Universe line up and, well, to get all Rick James on you, "WHOOPS THERE IT IS!" "BING, BING, BING, BING" the machine screams out more random Dings like a fire alarm at a Catholic School (Didn't you love Fire Alarm day at school? I felt so involved. I loved the coordination of single file lines into double file lines then all perfectly choreographed into a line up in the parking lot. "Can we do it again?", I would think, hoping we did not get it right. I loved the precision of it all, and dangit, it only came once a year, always in September. Something I always looked forward too. Hey, I said I was weird.)

 

I hit the Progressive top line, THE TOP LINE. "Whaaaaaaat?" "What, Whaaaaat?"

 

Okay, so here I am, olive pic in hand, still with two olives left to enjoy, my mouth wide open, all the while taking random sips of my Grey Goose Martini, minding my own business, thinking to myself "WHOLE-LEE-SHIP!" "What did I do?" "Oh My Gawd!"

 

So I am trying to act nonchalant, (which is hard for this Big Old Slot Queen to do under normal circumstances, as I usually am the one that would be screaming like a mad white woman, jumping up and down, all over the place, if I so much have won merely a hundred bucks!). I am cool and collected. Looking around suspiciously. "JW", I say to myself, "Maintain control", "How much did I freaking win?" "I have no idea."

 

So like any reasonable, experienced, and very impatient slot player like myself, to induce labor on the machine and to make it fess up, hurriedly calculating the winnings, most machines will allow me to just hit any button and the BING BING BING stops and the total amount won is displayed. Nope, not this one. I kept hitting every button to try and stop the machine from making all this noise and stop drawing attention. Nope. Nothing. I banged, I banged, I banged (sounding very much like Rickey Martin right about now, ehh?, or what, you think maybe William Hung?) and nothing I did stopped the machine from continuing to calculate my winnings for all to see.

 

Then suddenly, on the slot machine screen in front of me, appearing, in big red numbers, the $$$$$$ Jackpot I won........so everyone passing by in the Casino could see. Fortunately for me, no one was really paying attention, or so I thought. I was a bit uneasy at this point, rocking back and forth on my stool (or was it the Martini's making me do this?). I was taking nervous, fervent sips on my Martini, waiting for the darn machine to be quiet, looking around, as to be inconspicuous as possible.

 

"DING, DING, DING, DING", then a pause, then a fire alarm "BA-RING, CHA-CHING, BA-RING, CHA-CHING" Lights Flashing. Goodness, gracious, me. Wake the dead why don't you?

 

So this gal is standing behind me is, I thought was literally dying, when all I here is a screeching sound emitting from her.............."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIEEEEEE".

 

She was a tall, slender lady with Flaming Fire Engine Red, I mean Lucille Ball Red, Hair (that really needed to go to the salon for a new hair doo, it was a true, her hair is what they would call, a Rat's Nest, and I would have even paid for it, but this gal was a true Knumb Nut.) I thought to myself, "Oh Good, someone else hit a jackpot too!~" But no, she was screeching because I WON! Me! "Who are you?", I thought. I, me, was the brunt of her screeching Terms of Endearment (If you ask me, more like a Primate When Harry Met Sally Mating Call).

 

I turned around and she looked as though she was having heart palpitations! She was jumping up and down like she needed permission from the Nuns to Tinkle. Hands flaying in the air, screeching "EEEEEEEEEE!" She shouted at me, pointing at me, for everyone to see. "What did you win?" "What did you win?", She screamed, "Oh Lookie, Lookie, he won a jackpot!" "EEEEEEEEEEE!" "My husband won't believe it!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (Oh shut up, PALEASE!) God Bless, she is actually married to someone? "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

"That's right Dearie", I thought, "You go on ahead and tell your husband and please, please leave me alone!" Geez!

 

So finally, one of the Slot Managers came over, cleared my machine, we discussed payout procedures and options, and of course, (as I learned, from the night I told you about in 2009 that I won a jackpot on The Norwegian Dawn, to always carry my Drivers License when gambling in a Casino) I presented my formal Identification. The seamless paperwork was completed and The Slot Queen was free to go back to, well, playing the slots. I was right mighty proud of myself that I was able to take care of all the intricate details, all by myself, and, knew that when Jerome returned he would be proud of me. Biotch, I never got the chance as you well know by now.

 

It was so simple and streamlined, and I was truly enjoying myself, until suddenly, I saw The Big Mouth, Red Headed, Tour Guide escorting a group through the Casino, pointing me out from over yonder, then having to deal with a barrage of individual questions, over and over and over again........."So you won?" "How much did you win?" "How much did you put in the machine?" "What is your favorite Color?" "When did you know you liked guys?" "My son is gay, he lives in Oregon, do you know him?" (Oh sure lady, we all stick together and are a tight little group of about only, say, five or ten percent of the world's population! Of course I know your son, sure!). It was every morning, noon and night. The Tour Guide.

 

Big Red started the folly and then it just domino-ed from there.

 

Shush up for goodness sake! I don't even know you! SHUSH! But it was too late. And they call me "The Mouth of The South"...............not on this trip, certainly not.

 

Every day, everywhere. "There he is!" "That's the Gay guy who won!" Well goodie for me. Yes, I am truly now and forever more, self titled, The "Hot" Lady Princess Lose A Lot, Slot Queen of The Norwegian Escape. Don't you EVAH forget it. Gurl!

Edited August 16, 2016 by cruiseguys2009

[Natmom]

Thank you for the awesome review!! We are in room 8122 in Feb and I loved seeing your video so I know what to expect .

[wyldecherrykrush]

Love love love your style! And wish I were on this upcoming sailing! Alas, I am going in October. Wishing you a fabulous trip this week!

 

Question....the $2 shirt pressing on Day 1.... Is that pricing for everyone or just at higher Latitudes levels. Don't want my hubby and dad to hand me the bill if I give them wrong info...lol. First time NCL cruiser...

[cruiseguys2009]

Love love love your style! And wish I were on this upcoming sailing! Alas, I am going in October. Wishing you a fabulous trip this week!

 

Question....the $2 shirt pressing on Day 1.... Is that pricing for everyone or just at higher Latitudes levels. Don't want my hubby and dad to hand me the bill if I give them wrong info...lol. First time NCL cruiser...

 

That is a great question, however, I really don't know. On that sailing, we were still Silver Level and were not yet Gold, as we are now. I planned on having 5 cotton, button down shirts ironed regardless, but it was less than $2 per shirt, and as I recall, there was a first day "Unpacking" Special for pressing "Only" of garments and shirts at 50% off.

 

The instructions in the daily's were to leave the garments in the laundry bag with the laundry order slip that afternoon and the Room Steward would take it that evening at turn down. Then the pressed clothes were returned the following afternoon.

 

Also, we departed Miami on that sailing at 7PM and on my upcoming sailing this Saturday the 20th, we are back to 4PM. I don't know if the late departure had anything to do with the discount pressing or not, or if it is offered on all sailings. I will certainly fill you in when we get back.

[hawkman402]

JW , Are you doing the 8 day cruise or the back to back?

[cruiseguys2009]

JW , Are you doing the 8 day cruise or the back to back?

 

 

Just the 8 day sailing. This time of year, the Western Caribbean is not our favorite destination, weather wise. We prefer the Western in the Winter months.

 

Listen to me, "Just" the 8 day. Heck, I would be happy with a two day! A cruise is a cruise is a cruise!

 

But you know what? With sailing on The Norwegian Escape, who cares where the ship goes, because frankly, in my opinion, this SHIP is the Destination!

[hawkman402]

Just the 8 day sailing. This time of year, the Western Caribbean is not our favorite destination, weather wise. We prefer the Western in the Winter months.

 

Listen to me, "Just" the 8 day. Heck, I would be happy with a two day! A cruise is a cruise is a cruise!

 

But you know what? With sailing on The Norwegian Escape, who cares where the ship goes, because frankly, in my opinion, this SHIP is the Destination!

 

I was just curious. We sail out on the 3rd and I am hoping to see some of your posts before we leave!

[cruiseguys2009]

I was just curious. We sail out on the 3rd and I am hoping to see some of your posts before we leave!

 

 

I have a long time Cruise Critic Buddy and his wife sailing along on The Escape with you on the 3rd of September as well. He too, is a well seasoned Cruise Critic cruiser and he is participating in your CC Roll Call. Our love goes out always to Rob and Kathy, famously known on Cruise Critic as "Smooky". They are truly an amazing couple, and I hope you meet them.

 

I will be back from The Norwegian Escape on August 28th, fresh with my usual high energy to complete the story, and write about the comparisons of our restaurant and entertainment experiences, and should have a good majority of them complete and posted before you sail.

 

If you get a chance to meet them, remind Kathy of our late night escapades in the Casino, her and I, on The Norwegian Dawn and see if she remembers what "The Lucky Charms" were. I swear, every time she used her lucky charms, I would win!

 

And that is a whole other story!

Edited August 16, 2016 by cruiseguys2009

[Love.II.Cruise]

Just the 8 day sailing. This time of year, the Western Caribbean is not our favorite destination, weather wise. We prefer the Western in the Winter months.

 

Listen to me, "Just" the 8 day. Heck, I would be happy with a two day! A cruise is a cruise is a cruise!

 

But you know what? With sailing on The Norwegian Escape, who cares where the ship goes, because frankly, in my opinion, this SHIP is the Destination!

 

So true! This is why we are doing a TA on the Epic - to enjoy her! We are also looking forward to our exploration of 2 different ships in the Caribbean - Escape and Harmony of the Seas. It will be weird to hop off one cruise in Ft. Lauderdale to turn around and cab it to Miami for a different cruise. We've been to the Caribbean so many times, but those two trips will be dedicated to the ships. :D

[Love.II.Cruise]

I also wanted to say congrats on that jackpot win! I'm sure it was tough having the "tour guide" point you out for the rest of the cruise. No doubt you were judge by others as spending your winnings for the rest of the cruise - shame on them. I'll post that one again! :p

 

Wanna be Winners who Judge: Almost like the stalkers, these are the people that criticize you after having won jackpot bingo on gambling in the casino (even though you've been there all week). They just can't stand that someone won that wasn't themselves and when they see you in the casino they make statements about you wasting your winnings in the casino.

 

That was the cruise I won jackpot bingo and my husband won the slot tournament. A lady actually told him later in the cruise that he should stop playing the slots and that he had won enough! :eek::eek::eek:

____________

Edited August 16, 2016 by Love.II.Cruise

[#55worktoplay]

J.W. Your reviews are absolutely the best! You sound like you have a blast and I would love to sail along on one of your journeys I am certain I would enjoy it very much alongside you in the casino.

 

Your win sounds so exciting and truly amazing - now I know someone actually does win the Mega Jackpots on the cruises.

 

I can't wait to hear about your new adventures from your sailing next week. Jerome can't say he leads a dull life with you around.

 

I hope you win big on the infamous mystery slot machine!

 

Enjoy! Thanks for your very entertaining review.

[cruiseguys2009]

J.W. Your reviews are absolutely the best! You sound like you have a blast and I would love to sail along on one of your journeys I am certain I would enjoy it very much alongside you in the casino.

 

Your win sounds so exciting and truly amazing - now I know someone actually does win the Mega Jackpots on the cruises.

 

I can't wait to hear about your new adventures from your sailing next week. Jerome can't say he leads a dull life with you around.

 

I hope you win big on the infamous mystery slot machine!

 

Enjoy! Thanks for your very entertaining review.

 

 

Why thank you so much, how wonderfully sweet of you.

 

As for Jerome, how do you think I got the nickname "Trouble" from him? He is like the everlasting Fireman always carrying his hose (Easy now, I am not going there with this statement:D, although I should, as ya'all know how naughty I can be) just in case I flame too brightly and he is there to catch me in the net and put out the flame. Get it? Gay....Flame.........Flamer? Oh how I love to be witty and laugh at my own jokes until I Tinkle. ("Oh JW, it's way too early in the morning for this and I have not yet had my Espresso Martini to wake me up!")

 

Yes, the Casino is amazing on The Norwegian Escape, CAS and their new program is AWESOME. I encourage folks to join the CAS Players Club because one never knows. Even if a person thinks that they may not participate enough in the Casino, there still are a host of perky perks that some could miss out on, as a way of the Casino saying "Thanks". Plus it gives the Casino's At Sea a chance to introduce yourself and perhaps CAS will notice a special value in you that perhaps, you have never seen before. Not everyone is a High Roller. As I said before, "Sit" time at a machine playing just the minimum bet, could be as valuable as a high "Monetary Theoretical" or money spent in a less amount of time. Kind of like the Tortoise and the Hare.

 

The Tortoise is the "minimum bet", dedicated person, who enjoys the entertainment value, and "Sits" at the machines, putting time in. The Hare is Ben's Franklin's best friend and shoves lots of "Ben's" into machines, rapidly, losing here, perhaps winning there. Not spending much time in the Casino.

 

Both types are equally important to the overall success of the CAS program along with folks like me (The In-Betweener's) and the Casino Manager identifies who these folks are through the Players Club CAS Card. The best part is, on The Norwegian Escape Casino, I felt so comfortable with everyone. One recommendation to all from me is to definitely do one of the Slot Tournaments. They are a riot, and on The Escape, Christina is a hoot. I look at the Tourney's this way, someone is going to win and if I participate, then it could be me. (Plus I get little Gifties just for playing the tourney, and it's worth the entry fee)

 

Then there are the specific "Casino Players Only" sailings. Last year Jerome and I went, on one of the, supposedly "Fun" Ship (Okay, it was Carnival:eek:), on their Ultimate Premier Casino Cruise Invitational sailing. Let me tell you. These were die hard crazy casino people who would tear my heart out just to get at a certain machine! They were nuts, like, I mean, completely off the wall, unadulterated, certifiably crazy! The casino on that ship was mobbed every day and night, with pushing and shoving, overrun with the most obnoxious, battle ready, literally just bizarre folks going bonkers over playing slot machines. Never again will I ever do one of those. Not fun at all.

 

So anyway, Jerome and I are looking forward to once again, continue our Adventures on The Norwegian Escape, in just three days.

 

Here we go again!

[BNL1213]

Hi there! i am loving this review!! I noticed you mentioned a few times that you cruised the Epic, but maybe had a horrible experience... Can you point me in the direction of that review, if you did one?

[hawkman402]

I have a long time Cruise Critic Buddy and his wife sailing along on The Escape with you on the 3rd of September as well. He too, is a well seasoned Cruise Critic cruiser and he is participating in your CC Roll Call. Our love goes out always to Rob and Kathy, famously known on Cruise Critic as "Smooky". They are truly an amazing couple, and I hope you meet them.

 

I will be back from The Norwegian Escape on August 28th, fresh with my usual high energy to complete the story, and write about the comparisons of our restaurant and entertainment experiences, and should have a good majority of them complete and posted before you sail.

 

If you get a chance to meet them, remind Kathy of our late night escapades in the Casino, her and I, on The Norwegian Dawn and see if she remembers what "The Lucky Charms" were. I swear, every time she used her lucky charms, I would win!

 

And that is a whole other story!

Thanks! I will look for them at the Meet & Greet. Our last cruise was on the Dawn out of Boston. We had a great time. I am jealous of those of you who live in Florida and can easily cruise without airfare!