Adventure Ocean nightmare on the Mariner

[Brittgrrl]

[quote name='ilionite65']The other side of the story just may reveal that your innocent DS wasn't entirely innocent in this case. Or, are you and DS so perfect that there are not two sides to your stories, only yours?[/quote]

Really? Perhaps you can then answer what "Jordan" nor the AO staff could...[B]why would he initially attack DS just for tagging him out-when that is the idea of the game[/B]? Please tell me how the guilt lies with DS there?
Then "Jordan" proceeded to throw a temper tantrum because he had to sit out with the rest of the children tagged. Since there was no "other side" given, just that "Jordan" didn't want to be out of the game, maybe you can enlighten us? I'm curious where this infinite wisdom of yours comes from?

Or maybe you're content with the reason given for the biting? "Jordan" wanted to play the game console after he had finished some time previously and plenty of time passed before DS sat down to play a new game. Since "Jordan's" only defence was that he wanted the console again...I'm curious if you can put some sort of spin that somehow blames DS for have the nerve to sit in a chair once occupied by "Jordan"? Well, I guess DS wouldn't be "innocent" there, he did have the unmitigated nerve to sit down! Gasp!:eek:

Or maybe you find an ounce of honesty in "Jordan's" stories after he was witnessed pinching and twisting his skin (unsuccessfully trying to imply bite marks whilst taunting DS that he was going to tell AO staff that DS bit [I]him[/I] as well).

Can you explain why "Jordan" received strike after strike, and DS had not one complaint except those which countered DS's complaint of "Jordan's" attacks? And the fact that DS was complimented (twice in AO that I can quote) for being so well behaved and polite? He must be guilty of something, right?:cool:

Do you think that DS instigated a mass hysteria, causing other children to falsely believe that they were also being harrassed by "Jordan"?

Your quickness to imply the bully's innocence is suspect. Unless your purpose here is to wind people up, I wonder if you happen to have a son that was in the Mariner's AO this week?:rolleyes:

[imsulin2]

[quote name='Brittgrrl']Imsulin2, please read my reply to iluvcruzin.

As far as assertiveness training, absolutely not. My DS has a wonderful personality and we love him exactly the way he is! [I]Overcoming shyness[/I] is one thing, but I would never intentional school him to be brash. Why should he have to take on a pushy stance in order to deal with the occasional undisciplined brat? His exposure to these types will be far and few between (his graduating class is expected to be around 15 graduating seniors). He will come into his own as he grows up and he has already shown maturity that many adults do not display (including forgiveness, and being the peacemaker between the bully and yet another child bully was starting with on day two).

I think the other poster's advice was [B]spot on[/B]-karate, boxing, or tae kwon do are in the near future! :D[/quote]

Um, Brittgrrl - it's pretty apparent that you do not have a clue what "assertiveness training" is all about. I can assure you that it does [B]not[/B] involve "brashness" or a "pushy stance". It's about appropriate ways to let the "bully" know that you [B]choose[/B] not to be "bullied, and this can be displayed verbally. Attitude and self-confidence have a lot to do with it! I'm also sorry that you state that "his exposure to these types will be few and far between". That's just not what the "Real World" is all about! All of us [B]are[/B] and [B]will be[/B] exposed to "these types" all of our lives! It wouldn't do me one bit of good if I were to display my "martial arts" expertise with a co-worker whom I consider to be a "bully"! As I said before, I have five grown children who are built on the "tall/skinny" side, and just never had to resort to the "physical" side to stand up for themselves. They would have lost!! Instead, they used what they were taught, which was to use words to de-escalate the situation, or just remove themselves from it, as any physical confrontation just wasn't worth it. Besides, I would never have wanted to be held legally liable for any physical damage done to another child!! I also think that you did your DS a disservice by dragging him along to go [B]shopping,[/B] knowing in advance that he hated it! I'm wondering why you didn't take him on a great shore excursion where he could have participated and had fun?? Or - just taken him to the beach at Chankaanab or Paradise Beach? No parent can just assume that their child "will come into his own as he grows up." Five kids and twenty years as a school counselor have taught me this much! Good luck to you, because I think you're going to need it! Just my thoughts and experience.

[Brittgrrl]

[quote name='Merion_Mom']Brittgrrl - I think that you need to stop responding to people here. You vented, you stated your experience, and some people will want to know in order to be forewarned, others will attack you. My best advice to you is to let this thread go; it's not worth the increase in blood pressure.[/quote]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=red]You know what? You are ABSOLUTELY correct![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000]My apologies to those who can/have offered mature and reasonable comments/advice. But Merion Mom is right, this horse has been beaten to death. I offered my experience, and now we have moved on. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000]Happy cruising to those [U]good[/U] souls out there in cruise critic land![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000]End of thread (on my part). [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[sgttami]

Ruined Family Cruise... $3,000 or more
Broken Childs Eyeglasses ......$260.00

ADULTS ONLY CRUISES......PRICELESS

[imsulin2]

It's what happens when posters hear what they don't want to hear!

[crb04]

... Just like back in the good ol' days when teachers could reprimand their students and parents could spank their child (by the way--did you know that the infamous Dr Spock, who claims to be an authority on child rearing had a son who committed suicide, Hmmmm--what about that Doc)...

 

Since, in my profession, I have to deal with both the child "Jordans" AND the 'grownup' (and that's a generous term) inmates they become, I am not a fan of the child's desire-centered parenting subscribed to by Dr. Spock and associates BUT, in honor of fairness...No, he did not have a child that committed suicide. He did have an adult grandchild that committed suicide, the reasons behind which could only be pure speculation since it doesn't appear Peter Spock shared them with anyone before he jumped...

[ilionite65]

I think this mom is in for a big fall. My DD is a teacher and she relates stories like this to me all the time, the "it was all the other child's fault" stories. This woman's DS deserves to be treated with a lot more respect than he is receiving from his mom who doesn't seem to want to hold him responsible for anything. the way she speaks of their relationship,"I breath for him", indicates a really disfunctional relationship.

[iluvcruzin]

Britgirl.. if you don't know who the Tini's are, then you must be new to cruise critic. They are the group from this board who were on the same sailing as you. (I was on this cruise also but with a different group). The reason I asked is because it looked like you may have posted on this board before but signed on today with a new ID to vent. If this isn't true, then I stand corrected.

 

If you are new, and your purpose is to start a topic and then pick apart what every person says that isn't to your liking, then you will soon learn a HOST will lock up the thread.

 

I stand by what I posted and was not contradicting myself.

 

I had friends with kids in AO last week too. It would be interesting to see if they had the same issues.

[Ericknow32]

I had friends with kids in AO last week too.

Any of them named "Jordan." Sorry couldn't resist:D

[imsulin2]

AMEN, iluvcruisin!! Well said.

[Spelling Queen]

I have sympathy for any child that has to deal with a bully.

 

But I also have to say that I have some reservations at taking the OP at face value for a couple of reasons.

 

The first is because of the statement in the original posting when she wrote about "warning" DS about this other child before any interaction had occured between the 2 at all. She had already planted a seed in her son's mind about this child.

 

Then there is also a comment by the OP in her 2nd or 3rd posting:

 

"my choices were to break his heart and remove him from AO just because some monster's parents were using it as a babysitting service, or risk another attack by "Jordan".

 

I find it funny that she is only giving her son "a wonderful experience that he loves and looks so forward to" when she places him in AO. But the other parents "were using it as babysitting service" when they placed their son in AO. How can she begin to know what the other parents' motivation was? Their son, too, may love and beg to go to AO (whether he is a bully or not).

 

These 2 things do lead one to question her ability to be objective when evaluating a situation. She may not do it on purpose. Most of us are not objective when we feel our children are being slighted or hurt in any way.

 

But because of these things, it is reasonable to think there might be 2 sides to the story. And to do so, is not attacking the OP.

[Erie Dave]

Most parents, understandably, have a very hard time being objective when it comes to their own children. This OP seems to take this to an extreme, and is very defensive and has gone on the attack very quickly. If this child is as sheltered and possibly a spoiled as he sounds , I am sure this is a very one-sided story.

[TheBeachBears]

The only sympathy I have here is for Brittgrrl and the pestering she has endured from a few (or many) jerks on this board. My mild criticism is like mothers milk compared to the venom that is being sprayed by some. Post up on any of the topics I start Brittgrrl you will be welcome with open arms. And as for my slight criticism I withdraw it, life’s to short to have to ender this garbage. This is why I only post once and a while now. Good Grief.

[getoutthere]

The only sympathy I have here is for Brittgrrl and the pestering she has endured from a few (or many) jerks on this board. My mild criticism is like mothers milk compared to the venom that is being sprayed by some. Post up on any of the topics I start Brittgrrl you will be welcome with open arms. And as for my slight criticism I withdraw it, life’s to short to have to ender this garbage. This is why I only post once and a while now. Good Grief.

I agree! Erie Dave and Imsulin2- give it up, already! You are obviously antaganists so go antagonize someone else for a while.

[nieciez]

We were on this Mariner sailing and I had 4 grandchildren in AO that Iluvcruzin referred to. Only one, my oldest grandson was in the age group as OP’s DS. All I heard was good things about AO. I called both of my daughters when I read this thread to ask them if they heard of any issues….especially oldest DD who’s son was in this group. The kids never mentioned a thing about a “problem child” but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. The kids just might not have mentioned it to their parents. I will find out tonight what DGS might have or have not seen or heard. All I know is all four loved AO.

[sweetpeamd]

I just came back from the Grandeur of the Seas. My dd loved the AO, but I did have some reservations on some of the people who worked there. They looked so bored, and at one point (I wasn't there) my friend who was also on cruise witness my daughter (3 years old) in the bathroom trying to wash her hands (she couldn't reach the handle or something) and cried until my friend pointed out to the staff that my dd needed help. Other than that incident, my dd loved the AO. We didn't keep her there a whole lot (maybe an hour in the morning, and an hour in the evening).

 

I really think some of the staff are so overwhelmed (I have no idea why because on any given day there's about 4 kids and 2 staff members in my dd's age group) that they don't really watch over the kids. The staff is good when it comes to calling the parents when the kids act up. One kid was given a strike, and his parents decided not to take him to the AO anymore.

 

I guess if I was in your situation, I would not have bothered to take my ds back, but you made a judgement call and no one can really comment on that. I would STRONGLY recommend writing to RCL and complain though.

[MGoBlue2]

The only sympathy I have here is for Brittgrrl and the pestering she has endured from a few (or many) jerks on this board. My mild criticism is like mothers milk compared to the venom that is being sprayed by some. Post up on any of the topics I start Brittgrrl you will be welcome with open arms. And as for my slight criticism I withdraw it, life’s to short to have to ender this garbage. This is why I only post once and a while now. Good Grief.

Suggesting there may be more than one side to the story or that different actions on the part of the OP might have resulted in a better result is hardly spewing venon.

 

Calling some one a jerk on the other hand ...

[ElvisandTracey]

Is this thread still going on??

 

Sounds to me like the whole thread can be summed up as follows:

 

1. OP and her DS had bad experience (sorry Brit, as previously stated).

 

2. Mariner may have AO issues. No other ships are being cited here for similar issues.

 

3. Many people have differing opinions on parenting.

 

 

Doesn't that about cover it??

[Jazzfman]

#4 New CC codeword/abbrev. coined "A Jordan" = A Bully!

Ive seen it used on another thread already!:o

[ilionite65]

getout there, And who are you to determine who should post on this board?

[SailBolt]

Having raised two children, a daughter who is now 22 and a son 19, I know what worked for me and my wife. It may not work for everyone and it may even bother some people. However, neither of my kids have ever been in serious trouble and they are both IMHO opinion (as well as the opinion of friends, co-workers and family) good, kind, respectful young adults. Were (or are they now) perfect? ABSOLOUTLY NOT!!! Nor was I or anyone else I know.

OK, now that I am done with the disclaimer.

Both my kids were told that while they were not to start a fight, they had every right in the world to, as a last resort, to defend themselves physically from both verbal and physical abuse. I also let them know, that if they ever got in trouble at school and the above conditions were met, they would NOT be in trouble at home. Kids will be kids and I did not want to spend their formative years arbitrating every petty dispute. They needed to learn to handle things (as much as possible) on their own.

Looking back, I can remember perhaps 4 or 5 times either of them got into a situation that a physical conclusion resulted. One of them was when my son protected another child who was being bullied.

Both of my children are now self assured, non bullying grown ups.

Not that I am a proponent of violence, but sometimes today we just talk too much. Bullies will always be with us and sometimes the ONLY way to stop them is with a good ass whuppin'

And thank God, I never considered "Jordan" or "Billy" as names for my kids.

[TheBeachBears]

on the other hand ...

.............. Go 3 and 2 much, don't look now the BCS is passing you bye.

 

Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame

Wake up the echoes cheering her name,

Send the volley cheer on high,

Shake down the thunder from the sky,

What tho the odds be great or small

Old Notre Dame will win over all,

While her loyal sons are marching Onward to Victory.

[Ericknow32]

don't look now the BCS is passing you bye.

The BCS is a bunch of ___. How can a team that is the reigning champs and has yet to be beat be in the number two position. Like I said a bunch of ___.

[imsulin2]

I agree! Erie Dave and Imsulin2- give it up, already! You are obviously antaganists so go antagonize someone else for a while.

 

"Antaganist"?? I'm sure you meant Antagonist. And, I beg to differ with your name-calling. The OP asked for solutions and opinions, as it were. I gave her my solution and opinion. She didn't like it. So what?? It seemed to my that she was willing to choose physical confrontation over reasonable (and more acceptable) solutions. Stating my opinion in no way makes me an "antagonist". Equally, stating HER opinion in no way makes the OP an "antagonist." Capice?? I would appreciate it if - in the future - you would not resort to name-calling of posters. Thank you.

 

Don't like posters calling other posters "jerks", either.

[TheBeachBears]

Yea, it was more of a jibe at big blue.