Does anyone who has little ones at home feel guilty for not taking them with?

[K&M2CRUZ]

My husband and I are going to Alaska for the second time in August and are leaving the kids home with Grandma and PaPa. I sometimes feel guilty for not taking them, but I feel it is a lot of money to spend on something they may not remember. It is alway's nice to get away with hubby alone for a week:D

[obnurse]

To be honest, YES, I feel guilty not taking them with us. But, having said that, we do travel with them, having taken many nice trips,and we took them on a cruise in '04 to celebrate our son's high school graduation. Our next cruise is Feb. 07 and will be DH and I and my sister and brother in law. Then we'll plan the next one with the kids.

[cprofits]

We only have the opportunity for an overnight (much less week +) babysitter once a year. We run as fast as we can to a ship and don't look back. We also cruise every January with the kids, so I have no guilt leaving them behind. My five year old daughter just completed her fifth cruise and my 2 year old, his second. It took me 30 years to get on a cruise ship. :)

 

If I didn't take them us 50% of the time, then I may feel a twinge of guilt. About your comment about them not remembering, you're right. When you think back about your childhood, you probably have a very hard time remembering anything that happened before age 10-12ish. But there are pictures....tons of pictures of all the great vacations we've had and all the fun stuff we've done together as a family. If your budget will allow it, please try not to let their inability to remember stop you from taking them. You are making great family memories together and those pictures will tell the story to them when they're 20, 40, 60 years old.

 

Whether they remember when they're adults or not is really not the issue right now. They love every second of the cruises, look forward to them with great anticipation (at least the 5 year old does, the 2 year old is still a bit clueless about time/space relation ;) ) and they certainly remember it for the immediate future. My two year old knows exactly what it means to be on a 'big boat' and often asks when we're going again. Take them if you can. It's a different type of cruise, but certainly one I'd never trade for anything. There is no easier family vacation to be had. Alone time (kid's camp), family time, ease of unpacking and effortless travel, no responsibility of where to stay, where to eat, what to do. I've done a lot of land based vacations with them as well and would take them on a cruise over any of them 100% of the time.

 

If you cannot afford it, then by all means just go with your husband/wife. Alone time as a couple is invaluable and they are just fine with whomever you leave them with.

 

We're going on the Crown in July without the kids and I cannot hardly wait for the day to come. I am a sahm and I certainly can benefit from 9 days without having to take care of someone and I know they are going to have as much if not more fun than we do with their Aunt who cannot wait until we drop them off.

[K&M2CRUZ]

Thank you so much for your replies, we have only been on 2 cruises both to Alaska, where would you suggest a family of 5 go first and do you get connecting rooms, and how much does it usually cost for a 7 day cruise? You are totally right about the pictures, I guess I really didn't think much about that. I know that some ships have the big water slides, is that what those of you with kid's usually go on? I think it would be fun to do one around the holidays one year. Any suggestions will surely help. Thanks Misty

[Cruisin' Chick]

My daughter has gone on every cruise we have taken since she was born (and even the one when she was "in the tummy"). Even at 23 months, and one month too young to participate in Camp Carnival, she enjoyed the experience. She still remembers some aspects of her second cruise (3 years old). At 8 years of age, she has gone on her sixth cruise. She knows what to expect and how to behave. I can't see going on a vacation without her. Besides, with the kids' program, hubby and I get plenty of "alone" time.

[jennew]

we have taken them the last two times, now I am ready for a cruise to relax. I don't want to worry about tracking the teens or work around the kid's club schedule. I am looking forward to a week of doing ~nothing~ and not having to constantly be aware of the kids.

 

Also, our 7 year old shares our room with us when we cruise. It will be nice to have some alone time with Dh...and sleeping in would be heavenly.

 

So.....no, I don't feel at all guilty. ;)

[MaryPoppinz]

I don't think I feel guilty, because we take our son on a lot of trips. We just got back from Florida, and then we'll be taking him on Amtrak to spend a week in Chicago next month. And we're in the process of planning one more family trip late in the year. He really goes with us everywhere except the one cruise a year that we do without anyone else along.

 

But, I do feel.....very homesick for him. VERY! I have to call him in every port and email him every morning and evening. The truth is that he is plenty happy, though, living life on the Grandparent Gravy Train during our cruise. But, oh....I miss him!

[caribbean dreams]

We have always taken our kids cruising with us, but we do take other vacations and they stay with grammy but we always take them someplace fun before we leave so they felt they have been somewhere special also.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

We used to vacation without the older kids (now 20, 21, and 23)--they're actually my stepchildren, though they lived with us and I raised them and consider them mine! We generally went on vacation when they visited their biological mother for a couple of weeks. But, we've never, ever vacationed without our youngest (Becky).

 

Our vacations are family time by choice. I have a very intense job and don't get enough time with my family as it is, so I wouldn't even think of vacationing without her. We also take our 20-year-old DD whenever we can.

 

DH and I get lots of alone time when we cruise as youngest DD not only loves the kids' camp, but always wants to stay for the "babysitting" after 10 p.m. as well. Sometimes I feel lucky I get to see her at lunch time! Not to mention when her older sister cruises with us, they're together whenever Becky isn't in camp.

 

That's what works for our family. Not saying it's for every family. :-)

 

Jayne

[AZPam]

Don't feel guilty! It's very important for a husband and wife to have some alone time so they can reconnect too. You will be better parents and partners plus you will be so happy to see the kido's when you return and appreciate your time with them that much more.

[Merion_Mom]

Does anyone who has little ones at home feel guilty for not taking them with?

Think of it as practicing for when they go away to college. :D :D :D

[chuck59]

Our kids are in there 20s. But I am worried about how much my wife is going to miss the 2 grandkids. And how much they will miss her. They are attached at the hip when they are here. And they are here 4 days a week. Have there favorite cousin coming to help take care of them, she does really well with them. Just hope my wife makes it for 2 weeks.

[whale-watcher]

I spend much too much time at the office, and really look forward to spending quality time with the whole family on vacation....we have always vacationed with our kids, even when they were much too young to remember. Before you know it, they will be teenagers and more interested in their own social lives...

JMHO

[Nliedel]

Do I feel guilty? A little. Do I take the babies? No. I love my boys, but time with my husband and time alone is precious and makes me a much better mom.

 

I am a stay at home mom and with them 24/7. Time away recharges my batteries. I've also taken the older two on vacation without the younger two. The older boys have been great about the babies. Their whole lives were uprooted three years ago. For them a trip without the babies, doing something geared to them, was perfect and a nice, "Thank You" for enduring weeks of bedrest and babies in the NICU.

 

The problem with this disucssion is it's very easy to find fault with the parenting styles of others. In general people do what they need to do for *their* situation and *their* families. Kids along can be precious family time. Kids apart can renew a marriage or allow time away to think without stress. It's a very personal decision that should not be, imo, second guessed.

 

People who get away for a break are not bad parents. Likewise people who spend their vacations together are not overprotective. Different strokes.

[Dolphins]

The parents who bug me are the ones who feel so "guilty" that they take their kids out of school to go on a cruise. All parents are entitled to a rare vacation from the kids. Our children enjoyed being with their grandparents.

[Bobug]

Our youngest who is 15 is the only one still at home....she has been cruising with us 3 times & will be going with us in Feb. on a 10 day...she will miss 3 days of school (no I don't feel guilty about that either) but we have been on other cruises without her & her siblings....parents need some time together too. Their granparents always watched them for us & they made memories of their own. My youngest pitches for her highschool fastpitch team & we are tied up quite a bit with traveling to tournaments & practice....a cruise is a great way to relax & get away from everything.

 

Happy Sailing :)

[elmtree]

My little ones are 33 and 31 year old twins....and thankfully they don't live with us...but I still relish leaving them behind on each and every vacation we have taken since they have grown up...I still flinch when I see people vacationing with their little ones...The memories of "he's touching me!" "Are we there yet?!" " I hate this place!" " I'm hungry, tired, sick...ect...still ring in my ears".

I love our kids and they are great adults...BUT vacations now are REAL vacations for us...not just a different location to parent and care give at..

So, we wave and smile happily as they drop us off at the airport...

[chris2597]

Dont feel guilty.....It is great that you and your dh are taking some time to recharge as a couple...that in turn makes for much better parents....

My kiddos are pretty much grown up but dh and I tried to take 1 parent trip a year (sometimes a cruise, long weekend, or a few days away). I think parents forget sometimes that they were a couple first.

We took a family vacation almost every year...so the kids had an opportunity to "get away" with us.

[Princess-of-Quite-alot]

Do I feel guilty? No. There are trips to take the kids on and trips to spend time away from them. My one good excuse to not take them is to tell them that if they went everywhere before they are adults, they would have nothing to look forward to!:D

[Jules1]

We look at cruising as a great family vacation. No packing and unpacking - renting cars, schleping luggage, trying to find restaurants, etc. Our kids have always come with us and have now visited 26 countries each (many via cruiseship). It's a great way to see the world!

[DeepWaterMariner]

We left our oldest daughter with my mother 5 months after she was born while we enjoyed a week cruise. As long as we had willing grandparents (or grandparents we could talk into being willing) we cruised alone...without a bit of guilt. I decided to give our daughters a treat when they were 11 and 8 and we took them with us on a cruise. That ended our string of cruising without the kids. They wouldn't allow us to leave them out of another cruise after that. We sailed with them 11 times straight times after that until they were both away in college and we could resume our cruises without them. BTW, we've cruised with them twice since (on their dime) and will be together again in July for a family cruise including their DH's and the grandkids. Oh yes, my older daughter has been sticking us with the grandkids so she and our son-in-law can take cruises without the kids so she is getting her revenge.

[mariakitty]

Our boys are 3 years and 19 months, so there is no way we are taking them on a cruise for awhile, though I do feel a twinge of guilt just thinking about it! We are probably what you might call paranoid parents, so the idea of our boys running around on deck and possibly going overboard is just WAY to scary - whether this fear is rational or not I don't know! haha :)

 

Once the boys are a few years older we do plan to take them with us, however it is also our intention on taking an "adults only" vacation every year as well. We really look forward to a week alone to reconnect and just be a couple, as we are also looking forward to taking the boys all over the world. I think it's ok to feel a bit guilty, but it just isn't enough to stop us from going!

[DrD]

No way!

 

Although I would dearly love to take my energetic 4 and 2 year old boys since I hate sitting down for an entire meal and love it when the 4 year old asks people why are they so fat, my Mom just BEGGED us to leave them behind so she could spend some time with them without competition from parents.

 

So since I'm such a dear, dutiful son I of course said yes.

 

So who's going to wake me at 6 am? Bummer.

 

I guess I'll have to live.

[Times Prince]

Dont feel guilty.....It is great that you and your dh are taking some time to recharge as a couple...that in turn makes for much better parents....

My kiddos are pretty much grown up but dh and I tried to take 1 parent trip a year (sometimes a cruise, long weekend, or a few days away). I think parents forget sometimes that they were a couple first.

We took a family vacation almost every year...so the kids had an opportunity to "get away" with us.

AMEN to that !

Our first cruise was to get away from the pressures of everyday life and work situations, and we've shared cruises with our daugther later. Take the time for yourself, and make the time for your family during the year. It will keep you healthier and happier.

We were involved many times with babysitting other couple's children while they were away on a Marriage Encounter weekend - the children had fun and the parents, after taking quality time for themselves, came back more loving and full of life to share with their children. You can do something similar with your cruise.

[doodlefan]

We have 5 kids from 16 yrs to 8 yrs. We have just started to take cruises in the last 3 years. We haven't been able to get away for many years because we had 5 small children, but, it's our turn now. We have spent 17 years, raising our kids without an adult get away. Our youngest 3 boys had never ever spent a night without at least one of us parents there until 2 years ago when they were 9,8 & 6.:eek:

 

They are old enough to leave now without having to worry. They understand and can count the days until we come back, but now, it's time for DH and I to do a few of the things on our "life lists"

 

I just took my 14 yr old DD on her first cruise in April with my Mom, my sister and my niece. It was a Mom's & daughters cruise so it was fine but when it's DH and me, NO kids.

 

We are doing the Med in 07. This is a dream trip for us and we tossed around the idea of taking the oldest 2, but decided that we have waited 37 years ourselves to do this, that we felt it would be too much too soon for them. I think they need to want it, like we want it, to understand and appreciate how lucky they are to have what they have. DH and I are grateful that we can, at this stage of our lives afford to do this, we are very excited and even emotional that we are actually going to Italy, Greece and Turkey. These feelings are great and I think that my kids need to be a little older to really understand. I want them to be as excited as we are and at their ages I just don't think it's possible.

 

They need something to look forward to and to work towards as they get older and a trip to Med should be special, it is for DH and I and I would wish it to be so for them as well. Many may not understand this mentality but it's my feeling that kids today just get too much handed to them. I want mine to work for it and appreciate the chance to visit the Mediterranean just like DH and I are doing.:D

 

Doodlefan