Personal DVD player in the Dining room?

[DMRick]

I'm an old fart..have my AARP card to prove it..and I agree with you. It's too bad the "bad" kids (as perceived byu some here) are the ones who cause attention. There are tons and tons of great kids out in the world..I know because I am around them all the time. At the school games, at the theater, where many have parts in plays, at church, with my family members, camping, hoteling, working on packing Thanksgiving baskets, selling girl scout cookies at the mall, reading to the elderly at nursing homes, helping to serve at the City Mission, and the teen who delivers my paper, and waits on me at McDonalds, etc. Either we are very fortunate, or there are many many more good than bad. Or we just "hang" (yup we hang LOL) out with a positive crowd.

 

Interestingly enough, I agree with Heather as well - but only about one thing...

 

I too have grown weary of this thread - anyone want to know why? Its because I am so sick of seeing every thread that mentions children end up becoming a bunch of old farts whining about how irresponsible and useless parents are these days and how ill-mannered and screwed up their kids are.

[cruzincurt]

Quote: "And cruizincurt, I gotta say as one of those "youngsters" you're talking about, I have to completely disagree with you. I grew up with TV, video games, computers, walkmans and the like - as did all of my friends. As adults, we are social butterflys, we have great relationships with older friends and co-workers and we still know what a good work ethic is. Maybe you're just hiring the wrong people.'

 

Yep, SarahQ I'm one of the old farts. And I don't hire them. I hire people who come to my interviews with good social skills. Takes a while to find the right person, but they do exist. Since I'm the one with the company and I'm the one doing the hiring, I get to set the rules.

 

No Ipods, no web surfing, no earphones, no CDs, no cell phones, no personal email, no cigarette breaks...work 8 hours and I'll pay you for 8 hours plus bonus. I'm just an tyrant I guess. Most people have been with us an average of 10 years.

[ekerr19]

Besides that some of you think having a DVD is bad for the child's upbringing..how many of you would it bother enough to ruin your dinner experience (assuming head phones)? Not counting what you think of the parenting, where such a thing would be allowed..

 

Because there is a time and a place. I don't feel the dining room is one of them. As a parent of teens, I am doubly aware of how much time they spend playing video games, updating their pages on myspace.com, using their cell phones, ipods, etc.

 

I don't really see anyone bashing kids/teens here, merely making observations. As a parent raising kids in today's day and age; our kids have access to things we (in the 60's & 70's) would never have imagined. How it will affect them ultimately, remains to be seen, imo.

 

I DO think that today many kids seemed more self absorbed (my own included) than I was. I also see more parents allowing (and justifying) self indulgent behavior to the point where the children call all the shots and the parents bow to their every whim. I don't think this is healthy for any family.

 

Kids DO need boundaries. They need to understand what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. If their parents can't (or don't) teach them, who does?

[SarahQ]

No Ipods, no web surfing, no earphones, no CDs, no cell phones, no personal email, no cigarette breaks...work 8 hours and I'll pay you for 8 hours plus bonus. I'm just an tyrant I guess. Most people have been with us an average of 10 years.

 

That's just it...I don't think that sounds out-of-place or tyranical at all. Most of the jobs I worked at have had the same rules, and it never seemed odd to me.

 

Not to make excuses for those who are attached to their iPod etc., but many of us young 'uns grew up with such things being part of our everyday lives and thus learned to do things while listening to music etc. (right or wrong). I know that I always studied and wrote papers listening to music, and I often find that when I'm in a creative rut or need to concentrate on something complicated (I'm a graphic designer) that it actually helps me with my work.

[DMRick]

I understand what you think is the time and place...that's about parenting. Not all parents agree with you. It doesn't make you wrong..but it doesn't make them wrong either.

My question was:

Besides that some of you think having a DVD is bad for the child's upbringing..how many of you would it bother enough to ruin your dinner experience (assuming head phones)? Not counting what you think of the parenting, where such a thing would be allowed..[/Quote]

Not for your child..I understand you think there is a time and a place, and so you wouldn't allow it for your child (and I have no problem with you making the decision based on what is best for your child and others around him)...but if someone else felt for this period of time the OP was talking about it would be best for their child and others around them in this instance, would it have an impact on your dining experience (again, assuming headphones)? Or would it bother you, having someone do something that you have decided was bad parenting, or rude, or not the right time or whatever.

As for not seeing anyone bashing kids here..gosh, several times people have pointed out how they feel kids are now behaving badly...and one person doesn't think they belong on anything but a Disney Cruise ship (maybe they were kidding).

As for what our kids have that we didn't dream of in the 60's..well, we had things our parents didn't dream of. My mom never thought she would have a car of her own as a late teen, and certainly tv's were something they only dreamed about. Gosh, imagine watching Elvis and his dirty dancing..who would have thought LOL!

Because there is a time and a place. I don't feel the dining room is one of them. As a parent of teens, I am doubly aware of how much time they spend playing video games, updating their pages on myspace.com, using their cell phones, ipods, etc.

 

I don't really see anyone bashing kids/teens here, merely making observations. As a parent raising kids in today's day and age; our kids have access to things we (in the 60's & 70's) would never have imagined. How it will affect them ultimately, remains to be seen, imo.

 

I DO think that today many kids seemed more self absorbed (my own included) than I was. I also see more parents allowing (and justifying) self indulgent behavior to the point where the children call all the shots and the parents bow to their every whim. I don't think this is healthy for any family.

 

Kids DO need boundaries. They need to understand what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. If their parents can't (or don't) teach them, who does?

[babyher]

I will agree with a lot of these DVDs and I pods and whatnot that the kids today are a little self absorbed and do tend to lack social skills to a degree.

 

I think it was Rita that said in our day we met a bunch of kids at a park or wherever, we went over said hi and had a bunch of new friends to play with within minutes . Sure I did that too back then.

 

Years ago on a weekend or during the summer, we went out to play with our friends first thing in the morning, came home for lunch, went back out, came home for dinner, went back out and came home "when the street lights went on" . Our mothers didn't know where we were , but they knew we were in the neighborhood and we were safe

 

I was either riding a bike, at one of three neighbor friends houses or in the woods down the street.

 

Today these kids have more technical junk to play with , but they also have more to fear .

 

Tell a kid don't talk to strangers, don't accept a ride from a stranger, don't let a stranger touch you, don't take candy from a stranger, if some one follows you run and scream, if someone touches you in a bad way tell a parent or teacher. And then we wonder why they can't join in a conversation at a dinner table on cruise ship with strange people. No wonder these kids put the headphones on and "dissappear" its safer being "In there" than out amongst all the strangers my parents keep telling me are out there trying to kidnap, rape and kill me.

[DMRick]

Good point

 

Tell a kid don't talk to strangers, don't accept a ride from a stranger, don't let a stranger touch you, don't take candy from a stranger, if some one follows you run and scream, if someone touches you in a bad way tell a parent or teacher. And then we wonder why they can't join in a conversation at a dinner table on cruise ship with strange people. No wonder these kids put the headphones on and "dissappear" its safer being "In there" than out amongst all the strangers my parents keep telling me are out there trying to kidnap, rape and kill me.

[Scrumpy]

Without trying to be overly critical, I would say that it is not appropriate in the main dining room for anyone to watch a dvd - or be plugged into an iPod or talking on a cell phone, etc. regardless of their age. When I asked my husband what he thought, he was surprised anyone would consider this. As stated before, there is a time and place for everything. And, as also stated before, there are times when you should put your children first and forego the things you want to do because they are not at an age where they will be able to stay still and/or quiet, much less enjoy the experience. As a parent, you cannot have it all at the expense of others, whether it be your own children or other adults. Electronic babysitters may be acceptable for some people at certain times, but they are not acceptable for me at the dinner table. I don't see why we should have to request a change of table or otherwise make allowances for other people's children. Our society has become child-centered to the point that it is hard to escape the little darlings in everyday life, even in expensive restaurants or when we eat at an hour that would be past my childhood bedtime. I do not want to be disturbed or distracted or otherwise deal with the complications a very young child can bring to the dining room on a cruise.

 

Going on a cruise is a choice made by adults and if someone is unwilling to consider how their child's actions affect others, then perhaps they should either leave their child with a trusted friend or relative or take a different kind of vacation or choose a cruise line that is more geared to children. A DVD at the table is rude. It is potentially disruptive. It just plain doesn't look nice and yes, it would probably detract from my enjoyment of a meal - and lead me to wonder why the child was even at the table when they have other alternatives. If someone wants to practice and teach appropriate behavior to their children, they should do it at home where these lessons will not potentially impact someone else's experience. I'm not particularly old-fashioned, but I believe that civility is often lacking and this kind of behavior is an example of that.

[carolcp]

I asked my 14 year old daughter what she thought of this thread, the dvd at the table.

 

"That is just dumb. The dinner table is to eat at. " I asked her about various ages of kids and if she thought it was appropriate for a 10, 5, 2 year old to have a dvd player at the table. Again the answer was no. "If the kid is too bored at the table then they need to learn manners or eat in the lido". This from the kid who I still have to remind not to talk when she has a mouth full of food.

 

She didn't really join us in the dining room until she was 12 while onboard the ship.

 

Carol

[Onessa]

The debate about "kids these days" has gone on for generations.

 

Are kids' lives different than they were when we were young? Of course! Does that necessarily make them somehow worse than us? Of course NOT!

 

I really have a problem with the concept that a DVD player, an iPod, or a portable game console is really any different than the crayons and placemats many cruise lines automatically supply. Whether it is a book or an DVD or iPod, or whether it is crayons and a book of games versus a Game Boy -- either way the child is being separated from the dining "event". I find it somehow hypocritcal that there are folks here who seem to feel it is ok to ply a child with a trinket from the dollar store to distract him/her, but it is inherently wrong to use an iPod or another device to do the same.

 

I am NOT opposed to either of these types of distractions (high-tech or low-tech). They have their time and place. It is not a black-and-white issue -- the child does not need to either have complete, un-fettered access to whatever entertainment on-demand (and thus be completely socially cut-off from the other diners and the entire dining experience), nor should we expect our kids to be mini-adults and be interested in everything in which we are interested.

[Luv4dacruise]

Thank you all those liberal parents and educators of the 80's & 90's for the fine products you raised.

 

Oops, slipped off my soapbox there..

 

I for one am in the demographics that you are speaking of, and ya know what, i listen to my IPOD at work. Things change, it is the year 2006. We even have this thing called an automobile now :eek:! Blame it on the times, not the parents, i for one am terribly insulted by your comments. Grow up.

[ekerr19]

We even have this thing called an automobile now :eek:! Blame it on the times, not the parents, i for one am terribly insulted by your comments. Grow up.

 

This is just too funny to me!!! Even my great-grandparents had "things called automobiles" and I'm in my 40's, lol!!! Maybe this isn't the best comparison.... ;)

 

Cruzincurt is every bit as entitled to his opinion without insults (he is simply generalizing and there IS a difference) - also, it seems to me that he is stating his perception of a certain generation - I don't seem to recall a specific individual being singled out... (at least not in any of his comments I read).

 

Maybe you shouldn't take it so personally. :)

[DMRick]

My parents were born in the early 1900's and didn't have cars when teens, nor did their parents..and my grandparents were born in the late 1800's..they hadn't even seen cars by their teens, so for some of us (I'm in my 50's) this is a good comparison LOL!

 

This is just too funny to me!!! Even my great-grandparents had "things called automobiles" and I'm in my 40's, lol!!! Maybe this isn't the best comparison.... ;)

:)