Is a DVD player terrible in the dining room?

[larronry]

So no one has ever told you anything about YOUR child. You are just getting all prepared to say something to some person should they so much as glance as you. Maybe they are about to tell you have a cute kid. All I am saying is just because someone looks at you or child does not mean they are thinking bad things.... Besides it doesn't matter if they look at you. You know your kid, you know you are a good mom, you know if they start screaming and carrying on to where it disturbing people then you know you will take him/her out. So that's that. I would do the same thing. I commend you. And I am very well aware of how two years old act thank you very much.

 

Also don't jump on me. If you recall and read my posts thouroughly you would realize I am on YOUR side here. I am saying bring the DVD player, crayons, books, coloring books. I say talk to the child, include them in dinner. play with the child.

 

At no point have I said you should not. so guess what again I am on your side.

I am not saying you are not on my side and yes people have said things to me about my child. Aww what a cute baby and even how well behaved he is. But that is at a 5pm dinner. I believe somewhere in this thread but it could have been another thread someone mentioned that someone at another table saw them there with their children and asked to be moved (not the plane incident which may or may not have been on this thread). There is a difference between someone just looking at your child because they like children and babies (something I do all the time) and someone looking with a worried look. I see nothing wrong with putting their mind at ease.

 

I know that I am sailing on a cruise ship that is going to have passengers that are a bit less tolerant. I also will be dining during the late dining. So because of those two factors I feel I just need to be prepared. If I were on Carnival or Princess or Disney it just would be a non issue.

[Julienatul]

I wouldnt worry. My daughter's two too and she has been on 3 cruises already. We have never had a bad comment or stare yet and we did bring the DVD to the dining room last cruise when she was 19mo. It bothered noone, I asked every table around me to please let me know if it interfered with their dining experience. Most people stated they had no idea we even had it until I mentioned it. The people you see on the cruiseships are happy, vacationing and generally in great moods so I think their tolerance level is alot different than what you see on these boards. I know when Im dining, I am enjoying the conversation of my tablemates and caught up in the wonderful experience of the cruise. I am not looking around to see who in the dining room has poor manners or is not parenting the way I would. I have never even noticed a child acting up in the dining room and Im sure there have been many. Its just that I am so focused on having a great time at my table that I am not distracted by what is going on around me. I think most people are this way. Unless its blatently disturbing them I doubt anyone will even notice.

 

Julie

[larronry]

You are probably right. I've definetly had some of the most fascinating table mates over the years and so enjoyed their conversations. And since I won't be able to do as much in port as I usually do I will look forward to hearing what they did.

 

I have had those that don't think kids should be on cruises so since I'm at a table for 8 -3 for us and 2 for our friends only leaves 3 spots open so not much chance I'll get one of those. :D

[dnj1]

When we cruised. I got compliments on the kids. I was nervous that I would get rude stares but I never did. For dinner we had a booth for 5 to ourselves, so that worked great. Actually, while my kids are young I would love at table for just us. Once they are older, I would like to have tablemates again, because I love chatting with new families.

[txtwinmom]

I have a different perspective in that I have a special needs child. We have always brought games, books, colors, electronic devices because he can't sit that long without something to do. He's now 16 and I still bring things for him. Beats fighting with him to keep him occupied. He uses good headphones and has great table manners despite being allowed these "toys" at the dinner table. If people have a problem with it, I would kindly suggest that they spend one day in my shoes and then make a judgement about what is right for my child.

[larronry]

I was debating a table for 6 or 8 but went with the 8 because if I end up not eating dinner with the rest I would hate to stick our friends with my husband all the time. He isn't always the best conversationalist. Besides I really do hope to hear about what other people are doing although I can usually find that out up on the pool deck as well. But, I remember my last cruise where we had assigned tables we so looked forward to dinner and meeting with our table mates and hearing about their day. One couple was about 10 years older then myself and my husband and were so adventurous. They also were experienced cruisers so they gave us pointers of where to go and where to shop on various islands for our future cruises.

 

Interestingly enough that was the same cruise we met our friends we are cruising with this time, we've talked weekly for 3 years and visited each other. This will be our second cruise together. If I don't speak up she will.

 

But I'm sure most of us will run into the grandparents who will say that our kids remind us of their grandkids. And my son will probably surprise me and be so fascinated by all the lights in the dining room that he won't need me to even bring out his toys.

 

Now for those bringing crayons just a suggestion- make sure they are the washable kind if your kids are really young. I don't know how our parents managed without washable crayons.

 

I have a different perspective in that I have a special needs child. We have always brought games, books, colors, electronic devices because he can't sit that long without something to do. He's now 16 and I still bring things for him. Beats fighting with him to keep him occupied. He uses good headphones and has great table manners despite being allowed these "toys" at the dinner table. If people have a problem with it, I would kindly suggest that they spend one day in my shoes and then make a judgement about what is right for my child.

I worked with autistic children (I've taken a couple of years off) and I totally understand. I commend you and keep up the good work. Being a parent is hard enough, but being one of a special needs child just is so much harder.

[lexxity]

txtwinmom more power to you for not shying away! You are obviously doing a great job and deserve to be praised for wanting your child to have as normal as possible a life, I totally commend and admire you, it can't be easy, but I bet you have a wonderful time together!

[dnj1]

I am so excited.:) It is a long way off, but I just booked Conquest. YEAH!!! Anyone sail her?

[cruiseinfoseeker]

......... If people have a problem with it, I would kindly suggest that they spend one day in my shoes and then make a judgement about what is right for my child.

 

 

And a perfect suggestion it would be....:)

[slo mo]

I personally don't think they are a great idea,but you know

how your child behaves in these situations and I don't.

We were on a cruise where a child beside us came with their

DVD player.First let me say it was a beautiful family.Mon dad, and

two children.Formal night and everyone was dress.Young boy

in a nice short outfit with the DVD.

The problem I had with the DVD was the flickering of the picture.

Just the situation it was flashing in my face,and almost drove me

nuts.No I would not let it ruin my dinner,but to be honest not

the dinner experience I wanted.

When we were leaving I stopped by the table to tell Mon and Dad

how well behaved their children were.In all honesty the children were

great.I asked if I could speak to mom alone didn't want to upset anyone.

To be honest I was a little bit nervous how she would react.

I simply explained maybe she could move her sons seat so the picture

would not bother others.She was great about the whole thing.

I understood she wanted a quiet meal,and she understood the

flickering issue.She told me never thought about it at all.

The next night came to dinner we all visited together,and everything

was great.

I think if we all give and take a little no feels put upon.

Children are going to have their moments thats a given,and noone

should roll their eyes about something so small.

Parents on this board seem very considerate,but not all parents

are.

[larronry]

I think very few people are bothered by the flickering picture, but I'm sure that a few people are. I know that the suggestion has been made to be in the corner, but I know my son is most likely to be entertained by a lot of action and hopefully I will be less likely to have to pull out the DVD player.

 

I would have no problem if someone came up to me and asked me to move my son's seat around so that they wouldn't get the flickering because it bothered them. The player I am bringing to the dining room can't be seen well from angles so that is probably a good thing.

 

I am trying to have him dress nice for formal night. At least a nice top and maybe vest with slacks. I'm just not sure if he'll be a 2T or 3T.

[AMommyof2]

I have 3 children, ages 12, 9 and 2. All three have been in plenty of restaurants since a young age. I have never allowed electronics at the table. My dh and I believe that children should learn to behave at the table and bringing electronics is not acceptable behaviour.

 

If someone showed up at my table or a nearby table with a DVD player, it would probably really bother me. Not due to noise or distraction to me, but because it totally goes against my parenting philosophy. I believe it's easier in the long run to start off with appropriate behavior rather than having to remove the distraction at a later age.

 

The youngest has never been on a cruise, but the two oldest have.On his first cruise, my son was seated next to a boy who had brought his Nintendo DS to the table and was playing it. Of course, my son couldn't keep his eyes off of it. When the opportunity arose, I told the boy's mom that my children weren't allowed electronics and she quietly asked the boy to put it away. The children were excused from the table early so that they could go do something more "fun".

 

Just to give you a heads up, my 3 year old son uses his DVD player during dinner on cruises. If ever you end up at a table with my family on a cruise, go ahead and request another table, as we WILL have the DVD player and I am highly likely to tell you to MYOB when you tell me how inappropriate my son's behavior is. I'm his mother and I will determine what's right for him and couldn't care less what your opinion would be.

 

To all of you who bring DVD players for your kids, I'm glad to be in such good company.

[Cheryl H]

I think a DVD player is fine in the dining room. But I doubt we'll try it. Our son will be 3 1/2 by our cruise time. I am worried that one of us will spill a beverage onto the thing.

 

I liked someone's suggestion about walking around between courses. That is doable. Someone else suggested bringing a booster seat from home. Does the dining room not have booster seats?

 

Our plan is to have a table to ourselves, hopefully. This will be our first cruise since having our son. Now we just have to wait the 12 long months until we board.

[Paleochick]

Just to give you a heads up, my 3 year old son uses his DVD player during dinner on cruises. If ever you end up at a table with my family on a cruise, go ahead and request another table, as we WILL have the DVD player and I am highly likely to tell you to MYOB when you tell me how inappropriate my son's behavior is. I'm his mother and I will determine what's right for him and couldn't care less what your opinion would be.

 

To all of you who bring DVD players for your kids, I'm glad to be in such good company.

 

You go girl! Can I sit at your table?

[JLC@SD]

Just to give you a heads up, my 3 year old son uses his DVD player during dinner on cruises. If ever you end up at a table with my family on a cruise, go ahead and request another table, as we WILL have the DVD player and I am highly likely to tell you to MYOB when you tell me how inappropriate my son's behavior is. I'm his mother and I will determine what's right for him and couldn't care less what your opinion would be.

 

To all of you who bring DVD players for your kids, I'm glad to be in such good company.

 

It is in your face attitudes like this that cause the problems.

 

I can not believe that you have no respect for your tablemates......who do not want a DVD at the dinner table because the parent does not want to discipline / train their child....:mad:

[CC Help Michell]

It is in your face attitudes like this that cause the problems. <snip>

 

I'd stayed off this thread (though I posted elsewhere that I don't give a flip if parents use a DVD player with headphones in the dining room to keep a small one happy) -- but I kind of agree with the above-quoted part (only) of the above post. The OP on this thread was concerned enough about the issue to acknowledge that using a DVD player at dinner might disturb other cruisers, and to seek advice about ways to do it. Other posters here have talked about making sure to use headphones, have the sound on mute, maybe move the child to the least obstrusive part of the table, etc. We all should be aware that on a cruiseship, much more so than in many other vacation venues, and especially at the table we are assigned to for dinner, we encounter the same people over and over again and MUTUAL respect is necessary.

 

A reply which says the poster "couldn't care less what the opinion" of others would be really does seem pretty "in your face." :( I would never be so rude as to try to tell a fellow cruiser how to parent their child, nor do I care if said child uses a quiet DVD at dinner -- but I sure would appreciate being asked whether this would bother me, as some kind of acknowledgement that it really isn't the norm at a shared table in an evening dinner setting. That would allow either my party OR YOURS to request a different table for the remainder of the cruise if it's an issue.

[Paleochick]

It is in your face attitudes like this that cause the problems.

 

I can not believe that you have no respect for your tablemates......who do not want a DVD at the dinner table because the parent does not want to discipline / train their child....:mad:

 

One side of this argument is allowed to be in your face and the other isn't?

[Aandark]

I don't have any children, so I don't know what it's like to have to keep a child entertained, however I used to be a restaurant manager, and there were times that I wish parents would be more concerned about their child's behavior. A 2 or 3 year old is going to do what he or she wants to...I know all of you parents out there who have children who never act up in public (at least that's what you try to convince your self). They call it the terrible 2's for a reason, so maybe your angel of a child is just special and didn't have that phase, but most children do. Anyhow my whole point to this was...If some people want to entertain their children during their vacation then I believe that they are more than welcome to. If it bothers you that people do it....then order room service or go someplace where it's adults only. Nobody has the right to impose their own values regarding parenting on other peoples children. So please keep that in mind before you whisper about your parenting style or beliefs to table mates.

[CC Help Michell]

One side of this argument is allowed to be in your face and the other isn't?

 

Personally, I don't think it's necessary for either "side" to be "in your face." People sailing without children should appreciate the efforts made by parents to entertain their children at dinner as quietly and unobtrusively as possible -- AND acknowledge that not every parent even bothers to try this (burping contests??!). People who are sailing with children should understand that not everyone will agree that the methods they choose are unobtrusive, and at least give some thought on how to minimize impact on others. Then, if there is a disagreement about what is appropriate in the situation, civil discourse could lead to a satisfactory resolution for all (even if that's "nice to meet you" before one party or the other changes tables), instead of anyone "telling off" anyone else about either parenting skills, or MYOB.

 

Of course, if everyone lived by these precepts, we'd have little to talk about on the CC boards, and maybe no war, either! :)

[chasetf]

I don't have any children, so I don't know what it's like to have to keep a child entertained, however I used to be a restaurant manager, and there were times that I wish parents would be more concerned about their child's behavior. A 2 or 3 year old is going to do what he or she wants to...I know all of you parents out there who have children who never act up in public (at least that's what you try to convince your self). .

As a parent and a grandparent.... I can tell you any 2 or 3 year old who is "going to do what he or she wants" is not disciplined and that is a direct reflection on the parents inability to parent. If the child cannot control themself in a dining room, a church, a store, .... a you name it.... it is expected that the parent would remove that child (and with them the disturbance). If you have to plug your kid into a TV to keep them occupied I feel sorry for what you are caving into and are then going to have to deal with in the future. Having this early in the child's life, given in and not being a parent teaching self control and discipline will make it more difficult for the child to attain these needs skills as their child grows up.

Anyhow my whole point to this was...If some people want to entertain their children during their vacation then I believe that they are more than welcome to. If it bothers you that people do it....then order room service or go someplace where it's adults only. Nobody has the right to impose their own values regarding parenting on other peoples children. So please keep that in mind before you whisper about your parenting style or beliefs to table mates.

I believe the parents who want to plug a TV in at the dining table I am eating at should be the ones ordering room service and eating in. In my mind this is a classic example of a lazy parent. Parents who have not taught their children discipline and control by the age of five most likely will not be able to in the future.

[larronry]

As a parent and a grandparent.... I can tell you any 2 or 3 year old who is "going to do what he or she wants" is not disciplined and that is a direct reflection on the parents inability to parent. If the child cannot control themself in a dining room, a church, a store, .... a you name it.... it is expected that the parent would remove that child (and with them the disturbance). If you have to plug your kid into a TV to keep them occupied I feel sorry for what you are caving into and are then going to have to deal with in the future. Having this early in the child's life, given in and not being a parent teaching self control and discipline will make it more difficult for the child to attain these needs skills as their child grows up.

 

I believe the parents who want to plug a TV in at the dining table I am eating at should be the ones ordering room service and eating in. In my mind this is a classic example of a lazy parent. Parents who have not taught their children discipline and control by the age of five most likely will not be able to in the future.

I am sorry but I don't think it is fair that you judge another family without walking in their shoes. A child of the age of two is going to misbehave and it has nothing to do with how good the parenting is. As someone stated earlier it is called the terrible twos for a reason.

 

Children of perfect parents (if there were such a thing!) would still go through the developmental phase known as the terrible twos. Ideal Parenting does not prevent it but helps children navigate through it. Although each child's personality effects exactly how they go through this phase each child goes through it in some way. In the first year of life there is almost a dance or a syncing as the child mirrors the parents moods. Because of this the child seems like a "good boy/girl."

 

After he/she has master walking they begin to have an urge to make their own choices. But now your child is starting to disagree when they make choices of their own. You ask them to do something and they refuse. And they may PASSIONATETLY disagree with you. This period is most intense from 1 1/2 to 3 years old.

 

The child during this stage is oppositional. They instinctively want to do exactly the opposite of what we want. We have a nice, reasonable expectation (have a nice dinner) and they say "NO!" or they simply dissolve into tears.

 

Now I could go on about this subject but I think I have said more then enough. I just think it is very important for no parent on this board to think that their child's "terrible twos" to be their fault.

 

Now as far as walking out of the room when your child acts up (which I will do on the ship. I will tell you why it is absolutely wrong and encouraging your child to misbehave even more.

 

You need to go grocery shopping and your child wants to go home. They act up in the grocery store and you leave your cart, get in the car, and go home. Who won? Who is in control?

 

You are in the dining room of the ship. Your child has finished eating they want to walk around, they want to get out of their seat, they want to leave the dining room. You, out of consideration of the other diners remove your tantruming child. Again who won? Who is in control?

 

As a behavior analyst I can tell you that the best time to remove your child is before they throw the tantrum. Reward the good behavior. Or AH HA prevent the tantruming from happening in the first place by gee if it works playing the DVD.

 

Sorry I am just really frustrated by this argument. I think it's great that some parents don't find it necessary to use the DVD with their children, but different children have different personalities and it has nothing to do with whether you are a good parent or a bad parent. For all the parents posting and all those lurking DON'T LET ANYONE CONVINCE YOU YOU ARE A BAD PARENT FOR BRINGING THE DVD PLAYER TO THE DINING ROOM. Although try and be considerate of other diners.

[SunniLicious]

For all the parents posting and all those lurking DON'T LET ANYONE CONVINCE YOU YOU ARE A BAD PARENT FOR BRINGING THE DVD PLAYER TO THE DINING ROOM. Although try and be considerate of other diners.

 

To some readers, the latter sentence is completely incongruous with the first.

 

I think we moms get naturally a bit riled up when our little ones seem picked on, especially when it seems those doing the picking either don't know, or forgot, what it's like to be in our shoes. On the other hand, moms also can't forget what it's like to be an adult who wants a sophisticated evening. There are lots of dining options onboard mass-market cruise ships these days, which are the same ships that attract families with young kids. I think most of us, as adults, can agree that it's fun to dress up and head out for a fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant. And most of us moms can agree that it stinks to pay for filet mignon and instead have a cheeseburger on the Lido Deck. But we moms also know that a toddler simply isn't ready to handle a two-hour dinner. It can affect the ambience for others to have toys, games, or a DVD player at their table. IMO, if a child's not ready to fit in to a given environment, wedging them into it anyway does no favor to the child, the parent, or the strangers affected by that decision.

[NoelsCat]

If you have to plug your kid into a TV to keep them occupied I feel sorry for what you are caving into and are then going to have to deal with in the future.

 

I believe the parents who want to plug a TV in at the dining table I am eating at should be the ones ordering room service and eating in. In my mind this is a classic example of a lazy parent.

 

In my mind, this is a classic example of a self-righteous parent.

 

Just for the record, I don't even use a DVD player either.

[Kerry's Girls]

As a parent and a grandparent.... I can tell you any 2 or 3 year old who is "going to do what he or she wants" is not disciplined and that is a direct reflection on the parents inability to parent.

 

I have 2 year old twin girls. One is an angel, the other is hell on wheels. I guess I've been a great parent with one of them and incabable with the other? :o

 

If I had just had my angel, I'd also think that my excellent parenting had resulted in a behaved child and the other parents just don't know what they're doing.

 

But to tell you the truth, the child who challenges me is the one who has more joy of life. We battle, but I love her fearlessness. It's hysterical that anyone would think that her determination at 2 is a sign of my failure. (And no, I don't use a DVD player, because I cruise alone with my girls, so when they're done, we all leave - but if I were lucky enough to be cruising with my husband as well, a DVD player certainly wouldn't be out of the question.)

 

Good travels to everyone!

 

Best,

Mia

[larronry]

To some readers, the latter sentence is completely incongruous with the first.

 

There are lots of dining options onboard mass-market cruise ships these days, which are the same ships that attract families with young kids. I think most of us, as adults, can agree that it's fun to dress up and head out for a fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant. And most of us moms can agree that it stinks to pay for filet mignon and instead have a cheeseburger on the Lido Deck.

First the two parts of the sentence are not incongruous. As has been stated on this thread have the DVD player and either use head phones or play it so softly that others at you table and the ables around you can't hear it. What would be incongruous would be allowing it to be played so loudly that those at the tables around you can hear it. Also, be willing to move your child's seat if the flickering light of the DVD player bothers someone at another table.

 

I have brought my son to restaurants and used a DVD player and various people with and without children have thought it was an ingenious idea.

 

As far as the cheeseburger on the lido deck well I'm a vegetarian so my only option will be pizza and I just don't want pizza for dinner 7 nights a week and it's not a healthy option for my son. And truthfully the dining room with the same wait staff every night is a far better option then the casual dining area where you don't have the table set up just so and the glass of milk waiting for you and the staff catering to your every whim. Why you ask? Well that's easy when you don't have to wait 10 minutes for the refil you are more likely not to have a screaming child. Also, things are always preset up for you with the excpetion of the first night. If the wait staff is working for general tips and not really working for their tips (and I do tip extra if they take good care of me and will do the same for my son) they just do a better job. That has been my experience on 4 different cruise lines.

 

BTW I wish I had a lot of dining options for dinner but I don't. I truthly wouldn't have chose Celebrity as a cruiseline to bring my son on, however we had planned a cruise last Dec for just my husband and myself along with another couple and had chosen Celebrity. I thought I needed a break from my son and some much needed sleep. Celebrity cancelled the cruise (ship being dry docked for repairs) gave us our money back and a certificate worth the same amount towards another cruise. We ended up cruising on another cruiseline and we missed our son horribly. So we are not going to throw away our almost free cruise and this time we are bringing our son.

 

 

...so when they're done' date=' we all leave[/quote']Unfortunetly that would mean I would be lucky if I got to finish my first course because by the end of that sometimes my son has decided he's done.

 

 

My guess is I won't use the DVD player every night and I will have some people tell me how well behaved my son is. But that's because I will probably start to see the warning signs and get him out of the dining room before he starts to scream.

 

BTW Mia I don't know how you travel alone with twins. I just don't think I could manage. More power to you.