My wife wants to change cruise ships after i've already payed in full??!!! HELP??!!!

[hunnypot1]

I also have a lot of anxiety about flying. I have noticed my anxiety gets worse the closer it gets to my flight... I have flown many times and my stress starts getting bad about 1-2 days before my flight. I start asking myself why I ever agreed to do this.

That explains why she has not mentioned it until now. Her symptoms have just hit a new level. :(

It will be bad until she safely lands at her destination.

Funny, but my anxiety has never ruined my vacation because it seems to always be worse on the first flight (when I can still make a choice to back out). Once I am at my destination and pretty much committed to a return flight, I am A BIT better. I am still nervous, but it is significantly better.

I do not drink alcohol and have not yet sought meds from a doctor. I have prayed and "white knuckled" it. If her anxiety will not abate, you may want to consider asking her to consider meds. But be aware that her fear seems logical to her and she may resent that.

I once told my DH all my fears regarding flying and he said, "If I dwelled on stuff like that I would be scared too". (Easy for him to say, he has jumped out of a plane before...:eek: ) I wish my brain would just stop focusing on every little thing that could possibly go wrong with the plane.

I have chosen not to allow my anxiety to keep me from exotic travel adventures. I have my limits though - no small aircraft. Major airlines only.

You only live once...who wants to spend it always close to home?

I wish you and your wife a wonderful cruise.

[sagiv666]

My wife wants to change cruise ships after i've already payed in full??!!! We are planning on going to the AOS on 1/20/08. She has never flown in an airplane and is trying to sell me on the idea of driving to Miami and cruising out of their (11 hour drive) vs 3.5 hour plane ride??:confused::confused::eek::eek::mad: :mad: What are the policy's about changing ships? Thanks

 

Simple. If your wife is so much against flying, first check with the office and see if you can change ships without penalty. If there is a penalty,and if there are spaces available on the ship leaving from Miami, then rebook and have your wife pay the penalty plus do the driving. When I picked up my daughter from her school to spend time home and she overpacked her backpack, then asked me to carry it for her I said: "You pack it, you carry it." Same principle.

[Jimmers]

Simple. If your wife is so much against flying, first check with the office and see if you can change ships without penalty. If there is a penalty,and if there are spaces available on the ship leaving from Miami, then rebook and have your wife pay the penalty plus do the driving. When I picked up my daughter from her school to spend time home and she overpacked her backpack, then asked me to carry it for her I said: "You pack it, you carry it." Same principle.

 

You're comparing a phobia of flying to overpacking a backpack? Seems rather harsh to punish someone for something they have no control over.

[sunlover5]

I too was a very scared flyer. But with our 2 DD gone, only way to see them most of the time is to fly. The first time I flew to AZ (from OH) by myself my Dr. gave me 2 pills, I actually did it and no fear at all. Haven't needed anything since.

 

I hope you try to go. We had so much fun and a great cruise on the AOS. Good Luck. (But encourage her to talk to her Dr.)

[RoofingPrincess]

I don't think driving is going to solve the problem for him regarding this cruise. Can't drive to San Juan !!!

 

He stated they were flying to Miami so I assumed that's where they plan on getting on the ship.

 

He's booked them on the AOS, which sails out of San Juan.

She wants to drive to Miami and take a different ship, to avoid the airplane.

[szdiver]

It may sound harsh, but he should tell her he is going - with or without her and proceed accordingly. By the time he is ready to leave, she will be going with him. I was very scared to fly and did not get on a plane till I was 47 years old. Now I love it.....

[willysgrandma]

Perhaps you can take your wife to the family dr. and see if he can prescribe an anti-anxiety drug for the plane flight. I have a relative who is terrified of flying but has flown to Europe twice with meds from her dr.

[CruiseAddict74]

I-95 goes to san juan now? I'm going to take her to a counselor hopefully that will fix her up :confused:

 

Good luck and keep us posted - anxiety/phobias are very real to person afflicted. While it's easy for people to say just suck it up - it's really not that simple for the person w/ the issue.

 

Perhaps therapy and a tranquilizer will help.

 

Hopefully you'll get to enjoy your cruise - best wishes

[SheriNtexas]

I learned to imagine that if "my time is to go while on a plane, then it was my time to go".

.

 

 

I've always felt that if it is my time, it is my time. I hated flying and didn't do it for over 20 years. Then, my 16yo daughter had a friend who was going on an EFtour of France and Italy, and we signed her up to go as well. I was nervous about her going without me, so I signed up too! As much as I hated flying, i hated the thought of my dd being overseas without me there, so I went, and I am so glad I did! When I fly, I try to at least some of the time pretend I am on a train!:o To the OP, I don't know what to tell you. Your wife will never get over her fear of flying if she doesn't get some help, but that won't help you with this cruise. Is it possible for her to take some kind of medication before she flies? I'm not saying that meds are always the answer, but maybe in this case? Good luck to both of you, and I hope you get to go on your cruise!

[ebonybee]

I totally understand. Hubby has destroyed a good many cruise plans due to his flying anxiety. We have now resorted to meds. We flew to PR and there were three guys(all of us sitting close) where the wives were feeding the husbands anti-anxiety meds. I think the kicker was when one asked the flight attendant "is the plane equipped to fly over water."

 

However, RCCL might be very cooperative. My sister was given the full amount as credit when she canceled 30 days out due to hubby's accident. She had NO insurance. They may be more cooperative that you think, especially since you're going on another ship.

[SheriNtexas]

I wish my brain would just stop focusing on every little thing that could possibly go wrong with the plane.

 

I have chosen not to allow my anxiety to keep me from exotic travel adventures. I have my limits though - no small aircraft. Major airlines only.

You only live once...who wants to spend it always close to home?

 

I wish you and your wife a wonderful cruise.

 

 

I don't like small airplanes either. It is funny, when I was a young girl, preteen, I would go up in gliders with my dad!:eek: I hate takeoffs! Once the plane levels off, I am fine, and landings don't bother me either. I have a friend that lives near Houston, and after twice driving 8 hours to see her, I have started flying to see her. It is just TOO nice to get there in an hour and 15 minutes vs. 8 hours!!:eek: I just tell myself that there are a lot of planes in the sky all over the world, and what are the odds that something is going to happen to MY plane? Flying is not something I enjoy doing, but I have at least learned to tolerate it. I must be getting better because we are signed up for another EFtour next June to London!!:D

[Amagamma]

The AOS is a beautiful ship and that itinerary is wonderful. Hope you don't change.

My SIL had the same problem, and actually contacted the airline, and allowed her to board a plane (not one that was leaving), and sit down to experience what it was like. She talked to a dr., and was given something similar to valium, and also tapes to listen to to calm her down. She made it through that first flight, and now flies two to three times a year.

[tomko2]

Fear of flying and panic/anxiety disorder are not necessarily related. I love flying even took a 8 1/2 month trip around the world flying to all sorts of places. No problems. But then work stress caused a deep seeded anxiety disorder to raise it's ugly head. We were on a trip and I didn't think I would make it to our destination because a panic attack made me feel like I could not breath; the whole week was horrible; I was so worried about how I would be on the flight back home. My DH was incredibly supportive (also very frightened about the state of his DW) and kept saying you've done this before it will be OK. Thanks to a great therapy and a wonderful DH, I am now much better.

A cruise from San Juan is not worth the stress this must be causing your DW; do whatever you need to do to move the cruise but first talk to you wife and make sure it is the flying and not the cruise to which she has an aversion.

[sagiv666]

Reminds me of the "A Team", where if they needed to fly to a mission, Mr. T had to be unconscious. Short of putting anything in her drink, why not let her read some of the replies on CC, particularly the thread about sharing a soda card. That should put her to sleep quickly.:D

[hunnypot1]

I don't like small airplanes either. It is funny, when I was a young girl, preteen, I would go up in gliders with my dad!:eek: I hate takeoffs! Once the plane levels off, I am fine, and landings don't bother me either. I have a friend that lives near Houston, and after twice driving 8 hours to see her, I have started flying to see her. It is just TOO nice to get there in an hour and 15 minutes vs. 8 hours!!:eek: I just tell myself that there are a lot of planes in the sky all over the world, and what are the odds that something is going to happen to MY plane? Flying is not something I enjoy doing, but I have at least learned to tolerate it. I must be getting better because we are signed up for another EFtour next June to London!!:D

 

 

I despise take offs and landings. I am okay midflight also. I even look out the window:eek: .

I have never flown with my three children. We are supposed to do so this fall (Los Angeles to NYC). The mere thought of my babies in a plane has lead to some anxiety (Flight is not booked yet, so it is not too bad). I joked with my DH that he will have to put me on a separate plane 'cause there will be no dealin' with me, LOL!:p

[SheriNtexas]

I despise take offs and landings. I am okay midflight also. I even look out the window:eek: .

 

I have never flown with my three children. We are supposed to do so this fall (Los Angeles to NYC). The mere thought of my babies in a plane has lead to some anxiety (Flight is not booked yet, so it is not too bad). I joked with my DH that he will have to put me on a separate plane 'cause there will be no dealin' with me, LOL!:p

 

 

I know how you feel! BTW, is your avatar of you on an airplane??:) June of last year my ex husband got married to his secretary in Las Vegas:rolleyes: and all 3 of my kids, ages at the time were 19, 17, and 15, AND my 2 year old grandson were all on the same plane!:eek: I was SO nervous for them! I was in Houston visiting a friend (I had driven there, lol) and i made sure they called me as soon as they got to Vegas! Good luck on your flight, hunnypot, I'm sure you will ALL be just fine!!:)

[torpeedo]

I too have the fear of flying and gave it up about 5 years ago. I feel so much better not having to worry about it. We drive from SC to Florida for cruises. Pt. canaveral is the best location but we do Ft. and Miami too. I would see if RCI can just rebook you on another RCI ship on or near the same date from Florida.

[JDubSC]

I too have the fear of flying and gave it up about 5 years ago. I feel so much better not having to worry about it. We drive from SC to Florida for cruises. Pt. canaveral is the best location but we do Ft. and Miami too. I would see if RCI can just rebook you on another RCI ship on or near the same date from Florida.

 

We actually live in Irmo right down the road from you. Thanks everyone for all your input. Were going to the Dr. Friday and will let everyone know the progress (hopefully) I have my heart set on this cruise I think I will just drug her up and take her without her will :D

[torpeedo]

Well you sure are right down the road from us! Good luck with the RX treatment. I am sure she will be able to make this if you do some therapy and RX.. Next time though, look at Pt Canaveral! You can make that in about 7 hours or so. Tampa is 8 hrs. ( Maybe 8 hrs and 10 minutes for you!:D )

[RetireeWannabee]

Time to grow up. Why didn't she think of this along time ago when you could still change without a penalty?

I'm with you on this one. Too late. Suck it up and deal with it. This coming from someone that is not a great flier either. She could ask her doctor for Xanax.

[SherriZ366]

Actually, if you purchased the Royal Caribbean Cruise Care Insurance, you can cancel for ANY reason up until the day of departure and receive 75% credit of your cruise fare back to use on a future cruise.

I think it's actually 75% of the penalty(non-refundable pre-paid vacation cost) which from 29-8 days is 50% of the cruise cost -- this has to be applied to another RCCL cruise. Therefore you will loose 25% of 50% of your cruise cost but can apply the remainder to another cruise. Hope I did not confuse you. The explanation is at the back of the brochure but I would call a RCCL reservationist or your travel agent to make sure.

[Daisydog7]

About 35 years ago I used to have a fear of flying. I finally refused to get on any airplane, ever. Then I took a job where I needed to fly. In desperation, I went to a hypnotist. It worked. I began to fly again, and to enjoy flying. I went to a little airport and took lessons. I soloed, me, who wouldn't in the past get near an airplane. Then I married the flying instructor. We bought our own airplane, and flew hundreds of hours before ill health grounded us. Hypnosis works.

[Fighterone]

Worse comes to worse..............take my wife. Drum roll............

 

Bigger drum roll: Heck no! Take me!

 

All joking aside, if your wife fears flying, counseling is in order especially if she agreed to fly when you booked and her phobia is about to cost you a little bundle and a lot of patience. I tend to agree that a drink will help. How plausible is it to keep your marriage if you stand your ground?

good luck and please keep us posted!

[Jimmers]

About 35 years ago I used to have a fear of flying. I finally refused to get on any airplane, ever. Then I took a job where I needed to fly. In desperation, I went to a hypnotist. It worked. I began to fly again, and to enjoy flying. I went to a little airport and took lessons. I soloed, me, who wouldn't in the past get near an airplane. Then I married the flying instructor. We bought our own airplane, and flew hundreds of hours before ill health grounded us. Hypnosis works.

 

Yea, that may be true, but it has what the OP may find to be an undesirable side effect: His dw will run off with her flight instuctor.:)

[southerngoose]

It's getting a bit late to change now. I think you really need to figure out what the problem is. If it's flying, then the ideal would be to get her to "fear of flying" school where you learn about the airplane, the safety features and do a graduation flight. Since there probably isn't time, try to take her on a 30 min-1 hr flight and see how she does. You'll know from that whether she really can do San Juan or not.

 

However, it does seem that something else is going on if she can't just be honest about her fear of flying and is hiding tickets etc. Doesn't she realize how much trouble she's causing (11 hr drive????)? She should at least take a test flight to see if she can fly. Otherwise, your future lifestyle will be very limited if you can only drive.