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Live From The Noordam With Tomc

tomc

By tomc,
in Holland America Line

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Freedom55

Freedom55

Posted
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Grannynurse was out on the back deck this morning with a bright and cheerful yellow shirt. She looked like a giant daffodil in a field of passenger groundcover. I wanted to pick her, stick her in a vase and bring her to my room. She would have none of it.

 

I don't know about the rest of you, but this sounds a little kinky to me! LOL

Luv the reports Tom

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PRINSENDAM

PRINSENDAM

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Another hedonistic day at sea.

 

 

 

This report came to you live from the Noordam.

 

 

Tom,

 

Many thanks your excellent and most amusing reports!

 

 

A good friend of mine joined NOORDAM a couple of weeks ago as a musician. His name is Robert and he plays Steel Pan... small version of steel drums. His act is called 'Tropicana'. Don't know where he is performing... probably up by the pool on sea days.

 

Anyhow, please stop and say hello from me. I met Robert when I was 'imprisioned' at the Bermuda Technical Institute from 1965 to 1970!

 

I enjoy his music and have a few CD's. I've always felt his style was just right for HAL.

 

Stephen in Sydney

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tomc

tomc

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Things I learned about the crew today:

 

The head chef, up until last month, was the night manager at a McDonald's.

The Hotel Manager ran one of those Skid Row missions.

The Chaplain was defroked five years ago and is still on the run.

The Fitness Center Manager is about 280 pounds and loves milkshakes.

The Bartender couldn't make a 7-Up on the rocks if you showed him.

The Computer Manager was studying "Internet for Dummies" this morning.

The CD was the activities director at a nursing home for 25 years and all we're getting this week are bingo, checkers, "remember when" and "guess your spouse's name."

The Environmental Officer was reading her handouts and then tossing them overboard.

The Librarian was on her cellphone and told him, "Yeah, like, these are the books, hello. Find what you want, ok? I'm like busy if you can see."

The Club HAL guy didn't want to talk and mumbled something about being in international waters and not having to register.

 

Otherwise, all is fine.

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tomc

tomc

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Things I learned about the crew today:

 

The head chef, up until last month, was the night manager at a McDonald's.

The Hotel Manager ran one of those Skid Row missions.

The Chaplain was defroked five years ago and is still on the run.

The Fitness Center Manager is about 280 pounds and loves milkshakes.

The Bartender couldn't make a 7-Up on the rocks if you showed him.

The Computer Manager was studying "Internet for Dummies" this morning.

The CD was the activities director at a nursing home for 25 years and all we're getting this week are bingo, checkers, "remember when" and "guess your spouse's name."

The Environmental Officer was reading her handouts and then tossing them overboard.

The Librarian was on her cellphone and told me, "Yeah, like, these are the books, hello. Find what you want, ok? I'm like busy if you can see."

The Club HAL guy didn't want to talk and mumbled something about being in international waters and not having to register.

 

Otherwise, all is fine.

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tomc

tomc

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This isn't called "The Spotless Fleet" for nothing. I was reading in the Lido, fell asleep, and woke up when I felt a steward polishing my shoes, another one vacuuming my shirt and a cute young bar waitress giving me a Purell rubdown.

 

Shades of The South in 1955: We have sugar in red, blue, white, yellow and brown packages. I leaned over to a tablemate and said, "Can you give me some White sugar?" Let's leave it at that.

 

Someone, possibly a crew member, asked, "Is this your first cruise?" I replied, "Yes, the first after my 18th last April."

 

I found a cabin smaller than mine! The steward in my hallway was cleaning and left a door open. Naturally, being curious and snoopy, I looked in. Strange place; it only had two brooms, a mop, some squirt bottles and a pail on wheels. Not sure who would book that one.

 

Formal Night and we had six Nigerians come to the dining room in full dress. They were striking and people at the next table asked some of them to stop and pose for photos. All native garb; very outstanding.

 

This post came to you live from the Noordam.

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innlady1

innlady1

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This isn't called "The Spotless Fleet" for nothing. I was reading in the Lido, fell asleep, and woke up when I felt a steward polishing my shoes, another one vacuuming my shirt and a cute young bar waitress giving me a Purell rubdown.

 

Shades of The South in 1955: We have sugar in red, blue, white, yellow and brown packages. I leaned over to a tablemate and said, "Can you give me some White sugar?" Let's leave it at that.

 

Someone, possibly a crew member, asked, "Is this your first cruise?" I replied, "Yes, the first after my 18th last April."

 

I found a cabin smaller than mine! The steward in my hallway was cleaning and left a door open. Naturally, being curious and snoopy, I looked in. Strange place; it only had two brooms, a mop, some squirt bottles and a pail on wheels. Not sure who would book that one.

 

Formal Night and we had six Nigerians come to the dining room in full dress. They were striking and people at the next table asked some of them to stop and pose for photos. All native garb; very outstanding.

 

This post came to you live from the Noordam.

 

Sounds like you're having a wonderful time, TomC! ;)

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tomc

tomc

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Being waited on hand & foot gets tiring after a while. Or so they tell me; it hasn't happened yet and I doubt it will for a long, long time. If ever.

 

You know those signs, "Will work for food." Guy has a t-shirt with, "Will sell wife for beer." I asked a young couple in the Lido what they thought about it and the husband simply said, "How much beer??"

 

When you think you've seen it all, and when you hear about the Carnivalization of HAL, something comes out of left field you never expected. The AYW dining + casual night + Carnival owning HAL = (get ready for this): tv tables and folding chairs for supper. Not only that, but they use the bar waitresses in the dining room, toss up their hair, stick a pencil in it and have them say, "What's yours, honey?" If you ask for something that's not on the menu, they say, "Look, hon, you're not home; take it or leave it."

 

I have not seen any towel animals (at least, not in my shared cabin) this cruise. We did have them in April. I don't know if my roomie requested we don't get them, if the steward decided not to, or if it's "no animals" ship-wide. I'll ask around. The Bible does not say if Noah had a pair of them on the Ark.

 

I've been exercising my Constitutional right to fall asleep in the Lido while having a mug of tea and reading. This is an inalienable right for people on cruise ships in International waters and is not to be denied. (i.e.: Try to wake me. Just try it. You want to see Indonesia again?)

 

We've slowed down a lot on our approach to Tortola. I noticed that when I got up this morning. Arrival time is something like 3:00pm. I have my suspicions as to the reason:

(a) The pilot is from the island and told the captain, "We laid back here, mon; take it easy, we get there."

(b) The captain isn't sure of exactly where we are and can't tell the BVI from the BVD. He's the same guy who, in Alaska, didn't know the difference between Haines and Hanes. We told him, "You can bring this ship into Haines, but you sure can't bring it into Hanes."

 

This report came to you live from the Noordam.

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cruz4evr

cruz4evr

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tomc

 

Since I just came back from the cruise just before yours, your reports are even more appreciated and looked forward to each day.

 

As far as the towel animals, we didn't see any appear until a few days into the cruise...........be patient. :D

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GmaPajama

GmaPajama

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We're following the ship via sailwx.info, and it looks like you guys were getting pretty close to Tortola by 2AM GMT last night.

 

WOW, bicker! Just when I think I've got a handle on all this cruising stuff, someone like you steers me to yet another cool website. Thanks!

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tomc

tomc

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The Zuiderdam is parked next to us and just loaded with women. There is a rainbow flag flying from the mainmast and a "Feel Free -- Olivia" banner on the back Lido Deck. I think the Friends of Dorothy have finally found her.

 

I feel so sorry for the poor people who live on the island here. There's not a chimney in sight, which means they have no furnace and, therefore, no source of heat in the winter. I wish we could do something for them.

 

Lunch in the Lido included, according to a cook, "Curly Fries." But what about Larry and Moe? (nyuk, nyuk, nyuk)

 

Everybody, but everybody, wanted to get off the ship as soon as we docked. Some guys near me were griping about how long it took us to leave the ship, not sure if they would take the same cruise line again, how can it take this long to scan peoples' cards, etc. Well, gee, guys -- you all came down here at once. Five minutes later, ten minutes later, you could have walked off in 30 seconds.

 

This report came to you live from the Internet Center in Road Town.

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cruz4evr

cruz4evr

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We're following the ship via sailwx.info, and it looks like you guys were getting pretty close to Tortola by 2AM GMT last night.

 

 

What a fantastic website! It shows you not only where the liners are but also wind speed, direction, wave heights and more. Thanks bicker! :)

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cruz4evr

cruz4evr

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The Zuiderdam is parked next to us and just loaded with women. There is a rainbow flag flying from the mainmast and a "Feel Free -- Olivia" banner on the back Lido Deck. I think the Friends of Dorothy have finally found her.

 

I feel so sorry for the poor people who live on the island here. There's not a chimney in sight, which means they have no furnace and, therefore, no source of heat in the winter. I wish we could do something for them.

 

Lunch in the Lido included, according to a cook, "Curly Fries." But what about Larry and Moe? (nyuk, nyuk, nyuk)

 

Everybody, but everybody, wanted to get off the ship as soon as we docked. Some guys near me were griping about how long it took us to leave the ship, not sure if they would take the same cruise line again, how can it take this long to scan peoples' cards, etc. Well, gee, guys -- you all came down here at once. Five minutes later, ten minutes later, you could have walked off in 30 seconds.

 

This report came to you live from the Internet Center in Road Town.

 

 

The trouble is some people are never happy! Those guys probably complain about good food. :D

 

Can't wait for your evening recap! :)

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innlady1

innlady1

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We're following the ship via sailwx.info, and it looks like you guys were getting pretty close to Tortola by 2AM GMT last night.

 

I'm not sure how accurate it is...it was accurate, so I think, with the Noordam until today. Looks to me like she's at sea on that site...when we know she's still in Tortola.

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