I tried so hard......

[Cruise Miriam]

Those of you who have been around here a long time know how I struggled to lose about 100 lbs. and then was struggling to GAIN some weight, which I hadn't been able to do. Well, I had finally gained a little weight but now I'm losing again. I've had a lot of turmoil in my life, topped by the fact that my father passed away suddenly a week ago. If things happen in 3's, I've had mine -- My dad, my Cubs and I had to put my 18-y/o cat down two weeks ago. It has been all overwhelming -- all of this in a 10-day span or something like that. Now I have no appetite and am losing weight again.

 

Anyone got any suggestions on how to stimulate my appetite? My boyfriend is taking me out of town to a resort for a few days starting tomorrow just to get me away from everything here and so I can start healing my body and soul. I'll still be checking in, I'll have my laptop with me.

[bobandkelly]

Miriam, prayers & condolences on the loss of your dad and your cat.

I hope you will have a time of rejuvination at the resort. Take time to grieve.

Since you sound like you should not lose more weight try to eat. On top of all the stress you've been going through you don't want to make yourself sick.

kelly

[smoothdancer]

Ohh, so sorry for your pain and loss... I lost my dad a few years ago, such an incredible man and I so understand your pain.

 

There is a time and place for everything. Consider yourself blessed that you have someone in your life to "take you away" and dont worry about eating, or in your case, not eating.... It will come in time, just enjoy that you have someone that cares about you enough who wants to bring you some joy, heal your soul(loved that part of your post) You are one lucky gal!!

 

I am going to guess as you spend this time away you may in fact get on with living again and find that you may want to eat a bite or two.... Do check in with your laptop.... Pulling for you.

[Gathina]

I am sorry to hear of your loss too.

 

 

There is no doubt in my mind your appetite is lost due to unresolved grief and depression. The best thing I can recommend is to have a daily structured routine with meals, exercise, activities, etc. And maybe find a grief counselor to talk with.

[Belle]

I am so sorry about your Dad.

Know it's such a shock. I feel

your pain, lost my father this

June and I'm taking care of my

mother with memory loss.

 

As you know we each handle stress

differently. You lose..I GAIN. Give

you my gain if I could. Please try

and take care of yourself. I know you

don't need to lose more. Let your

boyfriend take care of you and remember

your father wanted you to be happy and

healthy.

 

Sorry about your cat. I know that he/she

was a member of the family. That's another

great loss for you.

 

I hope time will help you feel like eating more.

Just take it day by day.

 

I'm thinking of you and giving you a big HUG!

[Cruise Miriam]

I am sorry to hear of your loss too.

 

 

There is no doubt in my mind your appetite is lost due to unresolved grief and depression. The best thing I can recommend is to have a daily structured routine with meals, exercise, activities, etc. And maybe find a grief counselor to talk with.

 

Thank you evreryone for your kind words. Gathina, unfortunately, this is not unresolved grief. I have not had a chance to grieve until now. My father JUST died. Unresolved would be in a few weeks if I'm still not eating. I was thinking today, while we were driving up here, that my boyfriend knows me very well and knows that what I really need right now is something totally unstructured so I can be whatever way I need to be, when I need to be whatever way that is. I'll be back into a daily routine on Friday, when we get back. Thank you though, for your suggestions.

 

Belle, I know you recently lost your father and know the pain I'm going through. Unlike you, my mom has her memories together and was doing much better than I thought, until this morning. I offered to not leave town, but she insisted. She knows I have not taken time for myself and that my other medical problems have reared their ugly heads.

 

I did eat a little luch and some dinner tonight. I'm just taking things one day at a time.

[Salsa Dancer]

Thank you evreryone for your kind words. Gathina, unfortunately, this is not unresolved grief. I have not had a chance to grieve until now. My father JUST died. Unresolved would be in a few weeks if I'm still not eating. I was thinking today, while we were driving up here, that my boyfriend knows me very well and knows that what I really need right now is something totally unstructured so I can be whatever way I need to be, when I need to be whatever way that is. I'll be back into a daily routine on Friday, when we get back. Thank you though, for your suggestions.

 

Belle, I know you recently lost your father and know the pain I'm going through. Unlike you, my mom has her memories together and was doing much better than I thought, until this morning. I offered to not leave town, but she insisted. She knows I have not taken time for myself and that my other medical problems have reared their ugly heads.

 

I did eat a little luch and some dinner tonight. I'm just taking things one day at a time.

 

Miriam, So sorry to read of your losses. We lost 3 close people within a short time one year, and just recently lost my MIL. I really liked how your boyfriend explained the need for unstructured time. That made total sense. Most family members did getaways after my MIL died this summer. My hubby had to wait until September and he really needed it by then, but we never were able to put a finger on why it was so therapeutic. Many people do get away, though, after losing a loved one and now I understand better why they do it. I hope you have a really good time. As my dad always said to me when I was little, "Just cry it out, Honey. Just cry it out."

[PunkiC]

Losing a parent is very tough. I lost my father 45 years ago and I still miss him.

 

Losing 100 pounds is very, very hard work and you are to be commended for your effort, but losing weight when you don't want to lose is unhealthy and can be dangerous. What does your doctor say?

[Jan_In_Maine]

Miriam .... you've been here over the years for all of us ... I am so sorry to hear about your dad ... we all have our own ways to deal with loss, and it sounds like your "unstructured" time works for you. One day or one minute at a time sounds very wise.

 

When my dad died, I went out and bought a can of paint and painted ceilings and re-did my whole dining room over ... flooring, wallpaper, wainscoating, etc. It was done for my dad ... he would have loved it.... my DH & kids were very understand and just let me be for awhile.

 

If you need anything please let us on the boards know ... if you still have my e-mail, you are more than welcome to write.

 

PS ... One of these days the Cubs will be where they should be!!! All the best, Jan

[Cruise Miriam]

Losing a parent is very tough. I lost my father 45 years ago and I still miss him.

 

Losing 100 pounds is very, very hard work and you are to be commended for your effort, but losing weight when you don't want to lose is unhealthy and can be dangerous. What does your doctor say?

 

In the past my doctor wasn't worried because it wasn't more than five pounds of loss between visits and recently I keeping steady. I do have an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday anyway, but by then I don't think it will be as much of a deal as it was this past week. While I don't feel hungry, I am eating. I'll discuss it with her but since I haven't reached the weight point she said she would start to worry at, I think I'm okay. I just really didn't want to lose more. I had planned on losing about 90 lbs. when I started my weight loss, it was the extra 10 that surprised me because suddenly I couldn't stop losing. I finally did level off and even gain a few pounds back, but total weight loss remains at 100 lbs.

 

Salsa Dancer, I've had more than my share of sorrow and have always found myself rejuvenated after getting away from everything. Usually it's a cruise or getting myself back into Wrigley. Wrigley is going to be a difficult one for me Opening Day because that was always a day reserved for my dad, with him in his seats. Next year I'll be there, but with my boyfriend in the bleachers. I already have my ticket -- the b/f has season tickets in the bleachers. This trip has already made a difference. Today I've finally relaxed. I was so tense. I slept, we had lunch, we lounged outside for a while then I came in and used the Jacuzzi. We're about to go to dinner. We're just doing what we want when we want -- no pressures of any kind.

 

Jan, I have your email address in my computer at home. I'll email you next week! Thanks!!!!

[WeirdEyes]

Miriam, I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss. I know you've been through so much in the past few years. {{HUGS}}

 

RE: gaining weight....have you tried drinking those bodybuilder shakes?

 

Take care and we're all here for you if you need an ear.

 

Sheila

[waserdog]

Miriam, so sorry to hear about your losses. It's probably going to be hard when you return to your routine and needless to say, Wrigley will be difficult. I lost my mom 2 years ago and it was just so awful for me but what got me through it was joining Curves and exercising. The women there were so supportive and the exercise relieved a lot of the stress. Let yourself cry. I used to walk around in our familiar places just crying my heart out (didn't care who saw me) and it helped. I felt she saw me mourning and knew how much I loved and missed her. I thought I'd never stop crying but with time, I got beyond the lump in my throat. Good advice about just taking a day at a time. It WILL get better. I remember when I realized I hadn't cried for 3 days and I actually felt guilty so I cried! :)

Congrats on losing that 100 lbs....unbelieveable!! I'm sure once you get beyond this transition of your losses, your eating habits will get back to normal and you'll stop losing weight.

Good luck! We are all here giving you support.

Marianne

[Cruise Miriam]

Sheila, I'm allergic to those bodybuilder drinks, but that was a good thought.

 

I have actually been eating because I need to. And last night I actually had an appetite and had a large steak. Today is another story. It goes in cycles.

 

I won't be back to a regular routine until Oct. 27 or 28. My brother is getting married on the 26th. They're going ahead with the wedding because that's what my dad would have wanted. Can't say I'll be eating any wedding cake since I've never eaten that stuff, but I also won't be dancing anything off. I don't think I'll feel much like dancing.

 

Thanks everyone for all your support. This mini vacation where we've been forced to really do nothing has been the best thing for me so far!

[Belle]

Glad your mini vacation is helping

you cope at this time.

 

I'm glad your brother is going along

with his wedding. That's what your father wanted.

That's why I'm going on my cruise.

My father asked me everyday when

I was going on a cruise. told him maybe Nov.

(I couldn't go while he was sick and dying)

He kept saying..that's so far away.

you haven't gone any where in over

a year and a half. Now it's almost here.

Know he's smiling down and saying..

She's finally going!

 

Take care..Hugs

[WeirdEyes]

I just wanted to say.....

 

Miriam & Belle ~ {{{HUGS}}} to you both.

 

Sheila