what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[kenandlaura06]

2) In port at Costa Maya we decided to take the tour of the Mayan ruins..It was the end of august and easily 100 degrees that day, and we were on a bus with no AC...after the tour we're waiting for everyone to get back on the bus and this woman gets on the bus with her 3 kids..we'd noticed her on the tour, she was one of those loud people...so she gets on the bus and immediately begins looking for her pocketbook (we'd been assured that we could leave our stuff on the bus and it would be safe). she's opening the overhead bins and not finding the bag, so she starts yelling, accusing the bus driver of stealing the bag. she's screaming at her kids, telling them to look, and they're just sitting low in the seats trying to hide...so then she starts yelling out the bus window to her husband "FRANK, THE f***ING BUS DRIVER STOLE MY BAG". i guess frank knew better than to come running over when she was like this cause he took his time coming back to the bus..Meanwhile she's threatening to call royal caribbean and demanding a refund telling everyone to check their bags cause the driver might have stolen their money too. the bus driver was just sitting there all confused, until someone came running to the bus to translate. Finally after screaming for her husband to get his a** on the bus, and berating the driver and his translater saying how she knows he took her bag, her husband comes back on the bus. The second he got on the bus he goes over to her seat....HER BAG WAS ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF HER SEAT. she's flabbergasted, and her husband just calmly goes always gotta make a scene don't u? she takes one look at him and just goes OH SHUT UP FRANK in this completely annoyed voice, since she's just made a fool out of herself..To his credit he made her apologize to the driver...to this day 3 years later, when someone is mad at another, we'll go oh shut up frank! needless to say she was quiet the rest of the way back to the ship and she hightailed it back on board

 

 

Her husband must be a saint for putting up with that!

[theseais4me]

Her husband must be a saint for putting up with that!

 

I'd say so! They were sitting near us in the dining room and whenever we'd hear her say "Frank" we'd start laughing!

 

I forgot to mention one thing: When the 5 year wife explained why she was so embarassed, the CD-Marc Walker, was like "well looks like you've just borrowed your last thing from Jim and Nancy!"

[2ladies]

On a posh Radisson cruise we met a couple - he short, thin, old - her younger and rather overweight. They had met when she saw him drive into Publix car park in a convertible Merc and she went over and 'pulled' him!! By the time of the cruise they lived together.

 

He paid for the cruise they were on, but apparently she snored so badly, he couldn't sleep. So the next night he slept on the floor in the bathroom - marble and very cold of course!!

 

The following night he decided he had had enough, so he put her mattress outside in the hallway, where she went to sleep. People coming to bed late had to step over her. At about 3.00am in the morning the security man found her and woke her up - however, her 'gentleman' friend, refused to allow her back in.

 

The security man had to wake the Hotel Manager and they decided she would have to have her own cabin (stateroom) for the rest of the cruise. Problem was, the story flew round the ship and wherever they went, both staff and passengers, giggled!!

 

On another cruise a lady at our table complained that her steak was neither hot enough or large enough. The waiter brought another one, which she didn't eat, but asked him to pack it!!!! No-one on the table dared to look at one another for fear of hysterics.

[jimbulger]

on our honeymoon on the monarch (when she did southern route)

In atigua we went on te "jolly Roger" it is nothing but a booze cruise and the staff tell you.."the rum punch is strong...do not drink two in row" well this girl drank like 10 in a row and she passed out on board and was rolling around on the ship until her bikini top came off...she didnt wake up untill later but atleast someone had the sense to put a towel over her

[crusinsteve]

We were on a Royal Caribbean Cruise years ago, and on the last night the captain and alot of the staff were giving us a fairwell speech. The captain (A Swede or Norwegian) was the last to speak and had st0od in the back row until introduced by the CD. As he walked forward into the spotlight you could see his fly was undone as he was wearing dark underwear against a white uniform. Almost immediately a guy in the front row yells, "Hey Captain your flag is at half staff". The Captain looked puzzled for a moment and the Cruise Director expalined quickly what the guy said. The Captain turned around zipped up and immediately explained that he had been on the stern fishing and forgot to pull in his "pole". Everyone busted up.

[queenheart66]

On a RCI cruise ten years ago we did not know they stopped serving anything after midnight. This means not evan a soda from room service. On the bus to the airport several people complained. One guy said he came in so drunk and thirsty he was dying! The poor guy said he ended up drinking the water on the bottom of his ice buckett. Everyone was having a laugh at it. But people roared one someone piped up and said they wished they had thaught of it.Sadly funny for those of us who need caffiene to jump srart the day!!!

[Bubble Blower]

Coka, I remember that day, we just kept laughing and laughing. That same cruise we had so many funny times.

 

I was on the NCL - Sky with my friends Cisco & Margaret. Now Cisco goes out of his way to try and embarrass you. The 3 of us were riding up on one of the elevators. There were 3 other individuals on this same elevator. A couple in there early 70’s and a man around 30. As you know...most of the time when you are on an elevator everyone is real quite. Cisco was standing in the very front of everyone, and when the elevator was almost to our floor…..Cisco turns to the older woman....looks at her…..and politely asked her if she was starring at his bottom…..The older woman took a deep breath and her husband started laugh so hard…..the husband turns to his wife and says……see I told you one of these days your going to get caught.

 

OceanDreams

 

Ok this story had me ROLLING, Tears flowing .. Best one of them all. Took me around 3 hours to read all of these posts.

[Tamhugh]

On the Voyager of the Seas a few years ago, we hit a few days of rougher weather. On the day we were pulling into Labadee, I went to the gym to run on the treadmill. It was not really easy to balance with the way the ship was sailing, but I loved watching the island get closer and closer. My Dh came up to the treadmill next to me and got ready to run. He was wearing headphones and holding a Walkman and I warned him that it was a little rough. He gave me that look of disgust that only a man can give when you question his ability and got on. He immediately started a fast jog. Within seconds, I heard a yelp and was hit hard in the head with something. I looked down at my treadmill to see his Walkman. I looked backwards and there was hubby flat on his butt behind his treadmill. I laughed so hard that I almost peed myself. And no, I did not stop to help him up.

[texancruzer]

TAMHUGH: I hate that look !!!!! I get it all the time from my dh :p which of course means that I am always right too :)

[Ship Dude]

Love this thread!

 

On the Sun Princess crusing Alaska (May 1997) we met a few young couples. Each of us were seated at tables with very old couples. The older couples did not drink (and my wife was pregnant) so we always had plenty of spirits left over. Each evening after the older couples left the dinning room these other couples would come to our table with their wine bottles for an after dinner party. Our waiter was great and put up with this after dinner party each night of the cruise. On the last formal night our very Italian waiter (who the women in our group said was Gorgeous) and his girlfriend (Assistant CD) stayed around to party with us. The drinks were flowing and before long the women were daring the waiter to dance on the table. Well he did but added taking off his clothes as a speical bonus for the ladies. He got to his under clothes before his girlfriend got him off the table and took him to the kitchen.

 

Not only did the table tip him well but our "young friends" came over the last night and gave him tip envelops.

[smrtypnts]

I didn't think I had a funny story and then I remembered something I've been telling people for years.....

 

In August '99 on Celebrity Zenith from NY to Bermuda for our first cruise, DH and I were sitting out on the deck watching the Statue of Liberty and the other NY sites as we sailed out of the harbor. DH was more people watching and I made a comment about that. It was extremely windy and he said he was watching and waiting for one of the young girls' dresses to fly up. Well, then I started to semi watch. Just as DH looked away for some reason you guessed it, a 20something's dress flew up!:eek: Well, the part he missed was she had nothing on underneath!!!!:eek:

LMAO

[patnjohn]

While on a catamaran trip in St. Lucia, we cruised into a bay, where they filmed some of "Doctor Doolittle". There where 3 guys who mooned us. When we were sailing out, we saw them a little further out in the water with their swim trunks swinging over their heads in one hand & a drink toasting us in the other.

[balcony]

I've been reading this at work since 9:00am and it is now 1:45pm(I went to lunch for an hour) This is the best thread. I've cried, laughed and coughed I was laughing so hard. Thankfully my boss isn't in today. I can't wait to post my own stories soon!

[cruise crazy mick]

I WAS ON FASCINATION IN FEBRUARY THIS YEAR AND HAD A VERY HEAVY NIGHT ON THE BEER, I WAS ALREADY IN THE BAD BOOKS WITH MY WIFE,THE NEXT MORNING(ASEA DAY)WHEN SHE WENT FOR A LOOK ROUND THE SHOPS, GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME THEN TO HAVE A QUICK OIL CAN OF FOSTERS THE NEXT THING MY NEW FOUND FRIENDS FROM CHICAGO APPEAR .WHO WERE ALL FEELING ILL FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE ,SO I ORDRED A BUCKET OF FOSTERS 750MLS FROM A WAITER THE GUYS SAID THEY WERE ONLY PASSING THROUGH THE POOL AREA ON THERE WAY TO BREAKFAST I LOST SIGHT OF THE WAITER AFTER AROUND 10 MINUTES NO SIGN OF HIM SO I SAT ON A SUN BED BY THE POOL , WITH MY OILCAN AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES MY WIFE APPEARED TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE OIL CAN AND GAVE ME A REAL ROCKET ABOUT DRINKING AT 10.30 IN THE MORNING ETC,SHE WAS ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH ROCKETING ME, WHEN YOU GUESSED IT ,THE WAITER ARRIVES ,COMPLETE WITH THE BUCKET OF FOSTERS , I TOLD HIM I HAD NOT ORDERED THEM ,AND TRIED TO BLAME IT ON THE CHICAGO GUYS ,OF COURSE HE KNEW IT WAS ME ,SO NOT WANTING TO CAUSE A SCENE I DULY ACCEPTED THE BUCKET, WHICH REALLY LIT THE FUSE WIRE .FOR THE WIFE HOW COULD I GET OUT OF THIS .WELL THAT DECISION WAS MADE FOR ME, AS I MADE MY WAY TO THE REST ROOM THE WIFE SHOUTED SOMETHING TO ME AS I TURNED ROUND TO LOOK AT HER I SLIPPED ON A BANANA SKIN SOMEONE HAD LEFT BY THE POOLSIDE AND LANDED ON TOP OF A WOMAN WHO WAS SUNBATHING ,THE WIFE STORMED OFF AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT IN THE END, IT IS FUNNY NOW BUT IT WAS SCARRY THEN:eek:

[cruizinrican]

I never understood why they even have bananas on the ships anyways? They are suppose to be very bad luck and one is never to bring one on a boat (says my fisherman boyfriend)! I guess they are bad luck, look what happened to you?! LOL Or I guess if you were single, landing on a woman in a swim suit would not have been all that bad?! LOL Your wife must have been pissed!! I would have been too, sorry! But a good laugh now anyhow!:D

 

Cruizinrican:)

[RNangelm]

We cruised aboard the Fantasy in 2003. We were walking into the showroom as they were picking couples for the Newlywed Not so Newlywed game. We were walking down to the front to sit. They thought we were the newlyweds. We said no, no been married 10 years. Well, they took us for the been married around 10 years couple. They asked my bra size. Which my husband, bless his soul, knew. Well, they videotape these moments and play them back over closed circuit tv the rest of the cruise. I had complete strangers walk up to me and say, "I can't believe your husband knows your bra size." I was more embarassed by that than everyone knowing that we had made love in my mother's strawberry patch.

[1okie]

Man there are so funny freakin storys here. I have been on one cruise so far

and I didn't see anything really funny:(

[cuccicruisers]

Funniest thing I have ever seen on a cruise...

 

Carnival Pride 2002, my husband and I were celebrating my birthday in David's Supper Club with a great bottle of Opus One when we noticed the band was playing an odd choice of music. It was "Round and Round" by Ratt with the obviously p'off female singer ranting and raging through the entire song about Carnival management and the #^% hole people that write their contract. I thought the other guests,mostly older were going to keel over right there. They did not take her off the stage....she continued with more metal classics and comments.

 

After speaking with the bartender he told us the entire band was being let go as soon as the ship reached Port Canaveral....we came back the next night to see what wold happen and there she was again and the language was even more colorful. I could not imagine they let her continue her show!

[DrKoob]

Funniest thing I have ever seen on a cruise...

 

Carnival Pride 2002, my husband and I were celebrating my birthday in David's Supper Club with a great bottle of Opus One when we noticed the band was playing an odd choice of music. It was "Round and Round" by Ratt with the obviously p'off female singer ranting and raging through the entire song about Carnival management and the #^% hole people that write their contract. I thought the other guests,mostly older were going to keel over right there. They did not take her off the stage....she continued with more metal classics and comments.

 

After speaking with the bartender he told us the entire band was being let go as soon as the ship reached Port Canaveral....we came back the next night to see what wold happen and there she was again and the language was even more colorful. I could not imagine they let her continue her show!

 

 

This is so typical of Carnival. I still do not understand why anyone sails on this line that does not want to be intoxicated 24/7.

[QueenOfIndiana]

I am still recovering from my Majesty of the Seas cruise with my 55 year old mother Nov 14-18. Apparently, the trip up the stairs for Muster from deck 2 to 7 caused my mom to suddenly decide she needed to REALLY use the bathroom even though she had plenty of notice and time to use it while we hung out in the cabin before 4:30 drill (as usual, she was on the cell phone yapping away about nothing instead).

 

They wouldn't let her back inside at first, but eventually she got through to find a rest room. Held up Muster waiting for her....everyone is glaring at me because of course I am part of the guilty party holding up the drill and departing the port....(and i am wondering if there is an extra available cabin or if it is too late to jump over the railings and hang out in South Beach for the week instead)

 

She comes back finally and Muster begins. I am standing a few feet away from her but I suddenly smell something funky-bad in the breeze. I ask her if everything is okay. "Oh, I didn't quite make it in time", says she very nonchalantly. What?!!? I look down and see she has big poo stain on the front of her light demin pants. Ooooh lovely. I step back away from her more, but then notice the back of her jeans. Both legs....all the way up. Poo streaks. Very noticable and stinky poo streaks. There is no denying what it is if anyone else sees it. (and of course, the smell is undeniable!). It was far worse than anything i'd seen from my three sons when they were infants and toddlers.

 

As soon as the drill is over and all is clear for sail away, I hand her my life jacket and instruct her to walk with both lifejackets behind her. We wait on the deck for as long as we can so we don't subject any poor soul from walking behind her and catching the stank.

 

Finally made it back and I drink 1/3 of the bottle of my contraband Captain Morgan (+ Diet Coke) while she cleaned up so we could go to early seating dinner where the embarassment kept on going...(I keep waiting for one of our table mates to write something about her in the thread about table mates)

[Bette And Bill]

Just got off the Majesty of the Seas this morning and while I was handling some stuff with the Pursers desk, my DH started snickering. It seems a young lady was leaving the ship in her shortie housecoat, a pool towel wrapped around her waist and barefooted. Doesn't matter how often people are reminded...

[smrtypnts]

I am still recovering from my Majesty of the Seas cruise with my 55 year old mother Nov 14-18. Apparently, the trip up the stairs for Muster from deck 2 to 7 caused my mom to suddenly decide she needed to REALLY use the bathroom even though she had plenty of notice and time to use it while we hung out in the cabin before 4:30 drill (as usual, she was on the cell phone yapping away about nothing instead).

 

They wouldn't let her back inside at first, but eventually she got through to find a rest room. Held up Muster waiting for her....everyone is glaring at me because of course I am part of the guilty party holding up the drill and departing the port....(and i am wondering if there is an extra available cabin or if it is too late to jump over the railings and hang out in South Beach for the week instead)

 

She comes back finally and Muster begins. I am standing a few feet away from her but I suddenly smell something funky-bad in the breeze. I ask her if everything is okay. "Oh, I didn't quite make it in time", says she very nonchalantly. What?!!? I look down and see she has big poo stain on the front of her light demin pants. Ooooh lovely. I step back away from her more, but then notice the back of her jeans. Both legs....all the way up. Poo streaks. Very noticable and stinky poo streaks. There is no denying what it is if anyone else sees it. (and of course, the smell is undeniable!). It was far worse than anything i'd seen from my three sons when they were infants and toddlers.

 

As soon as the drill is over and all is clear for sail away, I hand her my life jacket and instruct her to walk with both lifejackets behind her. We wait on the deck for as long as we can so we don't subject any poor soul from walking behind her and catching the stank.

 

Finally made it back and I drink 1/3 of the bottle of my contraband Captain Morgan (+ Diet Coke) while she cleaned up so we could go to early seating dinner where the embarassment kept on going...(I keep waiting for one of our table mates to write something about her in the thread about table mates)

 

55 Really isn't that old. I honestly, don't understand what your mom was thinking!!

[dogdoc2002]

It was on the old Sony of Norway. We were cruising the North Sea

during an especially rough night. Most of the passengers didn't even

come to dinner, so the dining room was half empty.

My wife and I were seated at a large table, opposite another

large table. An elderly woman in a wheelchair was seated at the

head of the table. The stabilizers were working well to keep the

ship level, but there were sudden surges that you could feel.

 

All of a sudden, a large surge happenned and the ship tilted. The

poor woman in the wheelchair was rolling backward at high speed,

still clutching her knife and fork. The Maitre'd and waiters jumped

to chase her down. The whole room applauded when they stopped

her from rolling into the kitchen. It was hilarious. They rolled her

back to the table and the Maitre'd checked twice that the brakes

were now on.

 

-- Doug

 

I'm sure if she had just asked for seconds, they would have brought them to her- no need to charge at the kitchen :)

[getmeouttahere]

...so I was walking down to the restaurant with my stuffed bird on the shoulder of my life jacket, trying to keep my Burger King crown on with one hand, when this wig comes at my face from nowhere....:D

 

 

ACH! You are a blast!

[Susa]

I WAS ON FASCINATION IN FEBRUARY THIS YEAR AND HAD A VERY HEAVY NIGHT ON THE BEER, I WAS ALREADY IN THE BAD BOOKS WITH MY WIFE,THE NEXT MORNING(ASEA DAY)WHEN SHE WENT FOR A LOOK ROUND THE SHOPS, GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME THEN TO HAVE A QUICK OIL CAN OF FOSTERS THE NEXT THING MY NEW FOUND FRIENDS FROM CHICAGO APPEAR .WHO WERE ALL FEELING ILL FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE ,SO I ORDRED A BUCKET OF FOSTERS 750MLS FROM A WAITER THE GUYS SAID THEY WERE ONLY PASSING THROUGH THE POOL AREA ON THERE WAY TO BREAKFAST I LOST SIGHT OF THE WAITER AFTER AROUND 10 MINUTES NO SIGN OF HIM SO I SAT ON A SUN BED BY THE POOL , WITH MY OILCAN AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES MY WIFE APPEARED TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE OIL CAN AND GAVE ME A REAL ROCKET ABOUT DRINKING AT 10.30 IN THE MORNING ETC,SHE WAS ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH ROCKETING ME, WHEN YOU GUESSED IT ,THE WAITER ARRIVES ,COMPLETE WITH THE BUCKET OF FOSTERS , I TOLD HIM I HAD NOT ORDERED THEM ,AND TRIED TO BLAME IT ON THE CHICAGO GUYS ,OF COURSE HE KNEW IT WAS ME ,SO NOT WANTING TO CAUSE A SCENE I DULY ACCEPTED THE BUCKET, WHICH REALLY LIT THE FUSE WIRE .FOR THE WIFE HOW COULD I GET OUT OF THIS .WELL THAT DECISION WAS MADE FOR ME, AS I MADE MY WAY TO THE REST ROOM THE WIFE SHOUTED SOMETHING TO ME AS I TURNED ROUND TO LOOK AT HER I SLIPPED ON A BANANA SKIN SOMEONE HAD LEFT BY THE POOLSIDE AND LANDED ON TOP OF A WOMAN WHO WAS SUNBATHING ,THE WIFE STORMED OFF AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT IN THE END, IT IS FUNNY NOW BUT IT WAS SCARRY THEN:eek:

 

I love how the accent comes through in this...but you wouldn't be on my next cruise if I were your wife...:p