My Daughter Doesn't Like To Cruise!!

[PaulMedik]

It's also about shutting up and doing what your parents tell you to do.

 

 

tef43,

 

Quit typing what I'm thinking! It freaks me out! :D

 

 

 

 

jbroons,

 

I bet that hit you like a brick.

 

While I would most likely respond verbatim with tef43's words, I would prefer to respond with something along the lines of spleenstomper's recommendation of 'We're making memories as a family that will last a lifetime.' I would eventually use similar words, but tef43's words would be the first one's out of my mouth. :o

 

We were all 17 once and we know now that we didn't know much of anything at that age. We also know that we expressed opinions of the moment more than opinions over all so it's possible the phase will pass. Not to ruffle any feathers or stir up any hormones, but she is a female and those animals tend to change opinions quite often from what I have observed. I will also add that they are entitled to such whimsical behaviors. ;)

 

DW and I are going on B2B cruises this fall without our kids and the two older boys are fine with it. The younger one has casually mentioned a few times that he would like to go with us and I'm leaning towards taking him. Odds are we'll be taking him for a few years after the two older boys have moved on so why shouldn't we start now? :cool: We have reminded our boys that when they are older, it will be their turn to book and pay for our cruises for a change. :D

 

Perhaps you could ask what she'd rather do as a family and see if she comes up with an answer better than cruising. Have her research alternatives and plan it out while making sure the budget doesn't get imbalanced. I bet she'll not find a more attractive alternative.

[RatherBFishin]

That's a shame about your daughter. I think that it is her age. Like some of the others have said she may enjoy it more if she were to bring a friend her age. When she gets older she will appreciate the fact that you gave her this wonderful "experience"!

 

Maybe. Maybe not. I know it sounds like blaspheme to say here on this site, but some people just don't like it.

 

Case in point, my wife won't go on a cruise (but my teens had a ball when they went with me). At first I rationalized that "she just doesn't know what it's like, and if she actually gave it a try she'd surely change her mind". But when we really had a serious conversation about it, I realized that she had a better handle on the experience than I gave her credit for.

 

And for those who think she isn't a fun person, that's not the case at all. She's just into stuff that a cruise will never have to offer. Her dream vacation is to go for a romantic walk down the Champs-Élysées in Paris at night, stop in a small coffee shop on a whim, and try foods that we can't order here at Friday's. Then to take the train to Vienna and see the Philharmonic perform in the very same building that Mozart did 250 years ago.

 

Anyway, maybe someday my wife will give cruising a try. But it will have to be on her terms. And like it or not, someday I'm going to have to buck up and take her to Europe. But it will have to be on my terms... like during Oktoberfest :) :)

 

The key is that everyone is different. And people have their reasons.

[babyher]

Don't feel bad. My kids weren't all that nuts about cruiseing either.

 

When we booked our cruise on the Miracle last year. Oldest DS (20)wanted to come but couldn't due to school and work. So we booked with just DW and myself and DD16 and youngest DS(15). A few weeks later DS decides he didn't want to go. So we took DDs best friend with us.

 

The girls had a nice enough time. But if they went on another cruise again or not wouldn't be a big deal to them.

 

They loved laying out by the pool, or a beach in port all day with a Virgin Pina Colada all day. Well I have a beautiful deck and pool at home they can do that for free.

 

The fancy dining room food didn't thrill them. They were happy with the pizza and fries and burgers . Even then how much do teenage girls eat?? God forbid they should blow up to a hefty size 2 *LOL* Teenage boys on the other hand are another story. My two eat like they just got off the Bataan Death March.

 

Eh , to each their own.

 

Cruiseing will just be something DW and I enjoy on our own, or with our friends as we have been doing.

[jetskier]

Wow, my kids must be weird as they love to cruise. My 14 yr old is trying to figure out how to get to Platinum before she leaves the house and have to start paying for the cruises herself. So far they are on cruises #6 for the 14yr old and #5 for the 8 yr old. The oldest is fussing because our cruise in November wont count toward her Platinum card on Carnival as we are sailing on NCL.

 

Dave

[JaniceB]

I really think if she was allowed to bring a friend she would be more excited about cruising. At her age, friends are the only thing that matters.

When I was a teenager my father took us to Florida for 2 weeks every year. One year he decided that we were going to leave Florida early and experience the Blue Ridge Parkway. We went to 6 Flags in GA and the took the Blue Ridge onto Skyline Dr and back to Maryland. I had an attitude the whole way home. I wanted to stay in Florida and hang with the friends I had made over the years. I just recently did a vacation in the Smokey Mountains with my DH and realized what I had missed as a kid and why my father wanted to do something different. He is gone now and I wish I had been able to tell him thank you for the experience. :)

[MrPete]

I remember at the ripe age of 17, making our annual trek to Myrtle Beach, and telling my parents I wanted to just hang at the motel pool, not go to the beach.

 

I was chastised, being told that we didn't drive 700 miles to just hang out at the pool. I just wanted to be away from them, and nearer my "friends". I do think that was the last time we went to Myrtle Beach as a family.

 

She also could simply be "testing" you.

 

I am a couple of years away where I am going to be tested myself.

[RatherBFishin]

I am a couple of years away where I am going to be tested myself.

 

Good luck.

 

A couple months ago DD(14) asked why she can't have her own apartment. She was not joking. I told her that would be no problem if she could pay for it.

 

The argument only lasted every day for about 2 weeks, so it wasn't as bad as could have been.

[poobears]

At 17 she would go wether she wanted to or not. When she's out of the house she can decide where she is going to vacation. But like others said, some people just don't like cruising. Has nothing to do with age or anything else. Cruising isn't for everyone. She may grow to like it later or she may never enjoy it, only time will tell.

[figs]

You hear on CC all the time that "cruising's not for everyone", but we're insisting that this poor girl MUST go AND like it?

 

I have quite a few friends that aren't "cruisers" - mainly because they're a bit introverted and can't handle the idea of being stuck on a boat surrounded by thousands of strangers they can't escape from (except for in a 185 sq ft box). I get that. When they go on vacation, they rent a house on a beach somewhere fairly unpopulated, and they love every minute of it.

Other friends (who haven't cruised, but I'm betting wouldn't go for it) are just not into drinking, cheesy games, and sitting by the pool. They'd love the port aspect of it, but not the time limitations - they'd want to explore for a few days, then move on. They're not snobs, just a different type of personality.

 

That's not saying that's why your gal isn't into it. But for a 17 year old? That's the worst possible age to cruise without a friend. You don't want to sit around with the folks all day, 'cause that's just not what you do at 17, but you're also WAY too old to join in on "meeting friends at the teen club" - organized activities are NOT something that really happens for kids over 14-15 or so, in my experience. That's WAY "uncool", and uber-awkward. So yeah, you may snag her if you let her bring a friend.

 

I stopped going on family vacations when I was 16. I had my own car, I had my own life, I was working - the idea of sitting on a beach all day with my parents wasn't appealing. I DON'T look back and regret not going. I would have been grumpy, and it would have messed with our relationship, which was excellent. Family memories just happen - you can't FORCE it, for goodness sake - not at 17. :D

[Warm Breezes]

I'm so sorry she feels that way. But she is allowed her opinion too. My kids prefer to take cruises over going out west on a land based vacation (I enjoy cruising but I also love going out west). Our way of solving this dilemma is to plan family vacations based on what everyone likes with at least one thing that they would specifically enjoy included in the trip (A cruise solves that for everyone since we all enjoy cruising).

 

If you have one daughter that likes to cruise and one that doesn't maybe you can plan a shorter cruise and combine it with some land activity that she would like. Compromise usely works with us. We take our kids on cruises and plan any land trips we take them on to include amusement parks (which they both like) or NASCAR tracks (which DS likes) or theater productions (which DD likes). DH & I enjoy them all so we don't mind centering the family vacations on what they would like since we will only have them with us for so long.

 

DH and I take trips out west (usually just a 4-5 day trip since I can't stand being away from the kids for much longer than that) with just the two of us for our anniversary. I won't force my kids to go on these trips because I know they do not like it and would not have an enjoyable time. I would not be able to enjoy my trip because they weren't happy and it would be a waste of a trip. Been there done that the first time I took them. I find memories of vacations are much happier when the child enjoys it too and what is the harm of planning something for everyone to enjoy. We are all different and enjoy different things. Once they've experienced it and decided that they didn't enjoy it why force them to go again. They won't be happy and that will make for an unenjoyable trip for everyone else.

[jbroons]

tef43,

 

Quit typing what I'm thinking! It freaks me out! :D

 

 

 

 

jbroons,

 

I bet that hit you like a brick.

 

While I would most likely respond verbatim with tef43's words, I would prefer to respond with something along the lines of spleenstomper's recommendation of 'We're making memories as a family that will last a lifetime.' I would eventually use similar words, but tef43's words would be the first one's out of my mouth. :o

 

We were all 17 once and we know now that we didn't know much of anything at that age. We also know that we expressed opinions of the moment more than opinions over all so it's possible the phase will pass. Not to ruffle any feathers or stir up any hormones, but she is a female and those animals tend to change opinions quite often from what I have observed. I will also add that they are entitled to such whimsical behaviors. ;)

 

DW and I are going on B2B cruises this fall without our kids and the two older boys are fine with it. The younger one has casually mentioned a few times that he would like to go with us and I'm leaning towards taking him. Odds are we'll be taking him for a few years after the two older boys have moved on so why shouldn't we start now? :cool: We have reminded our boys that when they are older, it will be their turn to book and pay for our cruises for a change. :D

 

Perhaps you could ask what she'd rather do as a family and see if she comes up with an answer better than cruising. Have her research alternatives and plan it out while making sure the budget doesn't get imbalanced. I bet she'll not find a more attractive alternative.

 

It totally did..I'm still upset. I really can't believe it.

 

Thank you to ALL CCers.....you guys are the best!!;)

[jbroons]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

[kodiac]

We just had our first cruise ever on Freedom.....GREAT time. I was just planning our second cruise and my oldest daughter tells me..."Dad, I don't really like to cruise...I just like to experience things...you know". I said..."No I don't know....I just spent $7,000 so that you could "experience" something.....?".

 

Maybe I will just plan a cruise with guys....or better yet, just a girl!!

 

 

Wow. At least she is honest. My brother-in-law does not like to cruise. On his first cruse, he slept for the entire cruise. I guess crusing is not for all people. I love crusing!

[Warm Breezes]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

 

They can feel LUCKY but they don't have to enjoy it. You can't force anyone to enjoy something and just because you enjoy it, doesn't mean they would. I can't force my kids into enjoying going out west so I don't take them with me when I go there. I can then enjoy my vacation without having kids with me who are not having fun. I take them on vacations that I know they will enjoy so we all have a fun vacation. It's their vacation too. Just because I am paying for it doesn't mean I can force them to like it.

[kodiac]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

 

How was the cruise BTW?

[Vanessa L]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

 

As I said before jbroons, try not and take it personally. Life at that age is very selfish. It's part of that "stage" of growth. Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and in 5-7 short years your lovely daughter will come out of this stage and will likely thank you for all you've done for her. As I wrote before, I absolutely hated my parents for moving me out of Hawaii, something I'd known my whole life, and dragging me to everything THEY thought was important. But today, there is literally nothing I would take for those memories. Keep on keeping on....you're doing the right thing!

[Ship Addict]

I have one kid that loves it and one that could do without it. My oldest (16) has been on 5 now and trying to figure out how to get to Platinum quicker. She wants to sail on all of Carnival's ships and is having a conniption right now wanting to go on the Holiday before it's retired from the fleet.

 

My youngest, however, was great up until this last cruise. She even had a best friend on the ship with her, but out of the blue developed seasickness! She was a mopy, whiny mess the whole time. We raided the gift shop and bought the SeaBands and the pills and all, and they made her feel better, but it still didn't fix her attitude. Now when the subject of cruising comes up, her eyes don't light up like they used to. She said she'd just rather not go on another cruise. I told her "Honey you're only 10. If Mom wants to go on a cruise, you're going. We are gonna get every known seasickness remedy known to man that's safe for kids and start them while we're still on dry land. You're gonna enjoy cruising if I have to force it down your throat!" :D

[RatherBFishin]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

 

I think that would require more maturity than is typical for the age.

 

I know I didn't fully appreciate all my parents had done for me until about age 30. That insight started when I hit the workforce, grew as I got married, developed further when I bought a house, and peaked when I had finally kids of my own.

 

At 17 I was way more concerned with leaving home and living my life the way I wanted. Note my post above about DD... They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But they never tell you how much it sucks being the tree.

[Cigar Dude]

This one is easy.

 

Leave her with (insert guardian here); grandparents, neighbors, best friend, etc.

 

No need to spend money for someone who doesn't want to go.

 

She might like having her own vacation from the parents anyway! :D

[Aplmac]

It's ALL about separating her from.. Her Friends At The Mall. :cool:

 

 

Book along The Friends And The Mall

and suddenly she'll absolutely luuuuuv cruising! :)

 

 

.

[jbroons]

How was the cruise BTW?

 

It was great...Freedom...great shows/food/weather.....KW, GC, OR....***** is there not to like?? If you are bored, just sit in a lounge chair and tan!! She even had texting and e-mailing!! Oh well...no more.

[Warm Breezes]

I have one kid that loves it and one that could do without it. My oldest (16) has been on 5 now and trying to figure out how to get to Platinum quicker. She wants to sail on all of Carnival's ships and is having a conniption right now wanting to go on the Holiday before it's retired from the fleet.

 

My youngest, however, was great up until this last cruise. She even had a best friend on the ship with her, but out of the blue developed seasickness! She was a mopy, whiny mess the whole time. We raided the gift shop and bought the SeaBands and the pills and all, and they made her feel better, but it still didn't fix her attitude. Now when the subject of cruising comes up, her eyes don't light up like they used to. She said she'd just rather not go on another cruise. I told her "Honey you're only 10. If Mom wants to go on a cruise, you're going. We are gonna get every known seasickness remedy known to man that's safe for kids and start them while we're still on dry land. You're gonna enjoy cruising if I have to force it down your throat!" :D

 

Wow. Poor kid. My mother was seasick on the cruise we took her on and we tried all sorts of seasickness medications to make her feel better. I know she would not enjoy going on a cruise again and I would never ask her to. You can't force her to like it especially if she experienced seasickness like that on it. Find someone to watch her at home and go without her. You will all be much happier.

[LemurCat]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

 

And your kid can't believe you would be so incredibly mean as to tear her away from her bestest friends twice a year to hang out with her lame family. She's 17, right? Is this her summer before senior year of high school? Don't be angry with the kid. Be grateful that she's willing to have that conversation with you instead of bottling it up, going on the cruise, and making your life a floating misery. She's probably thinking this is the last summer before all her friends start going away to school, before all the long-time friendships start falling apart, and she doesn't want to miss a minute of it. Can you blame her? I know when I was that age I flat-out refused to go down the shore with my folks every weekend. I was lucky(?) in that they trusted me to stay at the house and take care of the dogs. Talk to her. I mean, really talk to her. It's going to be hard (well, at least it would be in my family -- yours is probably a little less prone to yelling and profanity). But figure out if this is her play for maturity or if she really just dislikes cruising and would prefer to do another sort of vacation, or if she wants to spend her summer with her friends.

[ivycruise]

Ok...here's what I'm thinking.. I think that kids should feel LUCKY that they have parents that can take them on vacations....twice a year. I am actually pretty angry.:mad:

 

Oh man do I feel your pain! So true, I never got to go anywhere growing up and expect that the little weasels will appreciate these opportunities!

 

We belonged to Disney Vacation Club for 10 years and had so many fun trips when she was my precious princess. Then all of sudden, she woke up and Linda Blair from the Excorcist moved in!:eek:

 

My almost 17YO DD is an only and we've had to cruise with other families with similiar age girls. This has worked well and the only reason she'll go. She did do one cruise where just the 3 of us travelled and it worked out as I made sure we got placed at dinner with another table which had a teenage girl and they got along great. But, it could easily have been a painful experience. When she's not happy then Mom isn't happy and well, you know the drill.

 

But, there is hope, but you may have to make some adjustments. I had another cruise scheduled for the three of us to try the Pride out of Baltimore this August and see if we could get placed again with another family, taking our chances. She was just Ok with this but seemed willing to take a chance. Then I realized I was going to lose many hard earned air miles thru expiration. I've been trying to get them to Paris for awhile but you know how scheduling can be a challenge with HS sports, etc. Well, turns out one day she said she'd be willing to use those airmiles to see Paris instead of the cruise on a father/daughter bonding trip as Mom can't go. So, cancelled the cruise and will spend time doing this which has Mom's total support (think she wants the peace and quite and no teenage angst for a week plus she's already been there).

 

We tell the story of what we heard from the actress, Gweneth Paltrow, who saw Paris for the first time with just her and her Dad. He said that he wanted her to see the city of love for the first time with a man that will always love her....

 

Good luck, we do have a special challenge with teenage girls! I think I need a martini just thinking about it....

[spleenstomper]

I was an evil witch to my parents when I was 17 and I bossed them around. What I didn't learn from them is that life has rules and I am not special and yes, the rules apply to me.